Liam~
Besides Hailey coming over and the thing with the cult hanging over our heads, the past few hours have been some of the happiest I’ve ever been.
I woke up early and I’ve been staring at Mila ever since. I know she plans on going to the cult by herself, but there’s no way I’m going to let her.
I get up and take a nice hot shower before getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I grab a jacket and shrug it on before putting on my boots. It’s fucking cold out.
When I walk back into the bedroom, Mila is busy wrapping the blanket around her. She smiles when she sees me.
I walk over to her and place a kiss to her forehead. “Go take a nice long shower. I’ll get the coffee going.” I slap her on the ass as she walks away from me.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” she teases me.
I raise my eyebrows. “Is that an invitation?”
She walks into the bathroom and her laughter echo against the tiles. “No, I’m talking about the coffee. You’ve been promising me coffee since I got here, and I still haven’t had any.”
I shake my head at her sassiness. “I’ll make a pot just for you.”
I go downstairs and quickly get the coffee going before I pull my laptop closer. I go online and book us flights to Salt Lake City for later this morning. I want to get this done as soon as possible.
When Mila walks into the kitchen, she’s fidgeting with her watch. I can feel the heaviness coming off of her in waves.
“Don’t,” I say, already shaking my head. “I’m going with you, Mila. Nothing you can say will change my mind. I’ve already booked the flights. We’re leaving in an hour. I’ve booked two nights there but I hope to God we get it done today.”
She covers her face with her hands and I hear her take a deep breath.
“I won’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you,” she whispers.
I get up and quickly walk to her. I reach for her hands and pull then away, cupping her cheeks. I tilt her face up to me and wait for her to make eye contact. Her grey eyes are clouded with worry. I hate seeing her so upset.
“I’m going with you. It’s my duty to protect you, Mila, not the other way around. Nothing you say will change my mind. We’re going to do this as a team.”
Her chin trembles and her voice is strained when she whispers, “I’m so scared.”
I wish I could take her fear away. I wish I could shield her from what’s to come.
“I know, babe.” I pull her into my arms and hold her for a long time, trying to comfort her before the storm hits us.
We make the two and a half hour drive to Chicago in silence, each busy with their own thoughts. The flight is only two and a half hours and it doesn’t take us long to get our bags. Once outside the airport, we grab a cab to take us to Hyatt Place Hotel. I really hope we won’t be staying longer than the two nights I booked it for.
Mickey, Hunter and Blake wanted to come with us. They weren’t too happy when I told them that it’s something Mila and I have to do for ourselves. With time, they might come to understand that this is the closure we both need.
I don’t know what I expected to feel being back here, but it’s not a sense of numbness. I expected to be flooded with dread and anger, but there’s just nothing.
When we reach the hotel, I hand the cab driver the fee before climbing out after Mila.
She’s tense, her eyes darting everywhere.
“Are you okay, babe?” I ask as I take her hand.
She gives me a nervous smile. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but it’s not this.” A short burst of laughter escapes her lips. “For some reason I thought it would all look like the compound. I never knew there was a city so close to the small world I was raised in.”
I trail my eyes over our surroundings. This was my world for sixteen years. I had so much more than Mila, growing up. What happened to us as kids is so very wrong, but at least we got out. At least we found each other.
I have to focus on the positive. If I don’t, the negative will drag me under.
Mila~
I sit on the bed and watch Liam as he checks something on his phone.
“So we’re just going to drive up to the gates and demand they give us Claire?” There is no way in hell that it will work.
Liam shakes his head. “No, we’re going to sneak onto the compound through the east side.” He comes to sit next to me and shows me a map. “Can you remember what this building is used for?”
At first I have no idea, but then I find the main entrance on the map and work it out from there.
“I think that’s the store house. That is, if they haven’t changed things since I’ve been there. There’s a good chance that Claire could be working there.”
I feel a flicker of hope. Maybe all my fear is for nothing and it will all work out perfectly.
“Okay, then we’re going to use this main road and pull over somewhere here. From there, we’ll cover this small stretch of vacant land and then use the store house for cover.”
I take hold of Liam’s hand so he will look at me.
“They have men that keep watch. They won’t be kind if they find us.”
He gives me an encouraging smile. “I’ve dealt with a god squad before, and I was sixteen back then. We’ll take it one step at a time.”
He gets up and digs in our bags. I watch him take out three pairs of socks and an extra jacket. His eyes glide over the room, then he says, “Grab that blanket as well. We might have to hide Claire.”
I do as he says and pick up the blanket, holding it to my chest. My heart starts to beat fast and I have a strange feeling – this is all so familiar – the fear, the anxiety, the what ifs.
It takes us another thirty minutes to hire a car. Liam makes sure the gas tank is full before he starts to drive away from the city.
With each stretch of road we cover I feel edgier, until my eyes are jumping all over the place. I keep swallowing the fear down.
Liam stops the car in the middle of nowhere. “Wait here. I’m going to take a look around to make sure everything is okay.”
With wide eyes and a thundering heart, I watch him get out. Oh hell no! He’s not leaving me behind.
I get out just as a cold wind sweeps over me. Icy shivers race down my spine.
“I’m going with you,” I say to him when I see the look of warning in his eyes.
He looks at me. “You stay behind me at all times, Mila. At the first sign of trouble, we call it off.”
I nod quickly, thankful that he’s not making me wait in the car.
We start to walk over the vacant land, sticking to the trees. When buildings become visible in the distance, my heart jumps to my throat. I can hear every heartbeat resounding through my body. I begin to tremble and I’m not sure if it’s from the cold or from fear.
We reach a fence and Liam lifts the top part so I can crawl through. I wait for him before we sneak to the back of the store house.
Our feet crunch in the snow and I can only pray no one hears us.
I can hear muffled voices coming from inside. Just as we peek around the corner, the door opens, and a girl steps out.
She looks like a younger version of me.
Before Liam can reach for me, I rush forward.
“Claire!” Her name urgently explodes over my lips.
She swings around and shock registers on her face.
I’ve played this moment over and over in my mind. She would smile, happy to see me. She would run into my arms, thankful that I didn’t forget her. She would look up at me with those trusting eyes and …
“Outsiders!” she screams. She tosses the bucket she is carrying to the side and starts to run – away from me.
Outsider.
I’m frozen on the spot. I watch as people run towards Claire. I hear Liam calling my name. I see the unblemished brothers running from the church, and then I see David.
I shake my head as the dream I’ve been harboring in my heart shatters around me.
“Claire,” I whisper. My body starts to move again, and I rush forward. I grab her hand and hold her icy fingers to my chest.
“It’s me, Mila. I’m not an outsider. I’ve come for you like I promised all those years back.”
Her eyes are huge and fearful. Someone shoves hard at me, and I tumble back onto the frozen ground. Liam is instantly there, helping me up.
My eyes dart to the man standing beside Claire – Brother William.
“Go see to the child,” he barks at Claire and I watch in horror as my sister walks away from me. She doesn’t look back. She doesn’t say anything.
She just walks away from me.
“Claire!” I scream, not caring about the people closing in on us. “There’s a beautiful world outside this compound. You don’t have to be scared. I’m your sister! I’ll take care of you. Come with me,” I beg.
She stops and turns to face me. Her face is void of any emotion. Her shoulders are hunched – dutiful and humble.
“You’re not my family,” she says meekly, the way we’ve been taught to speak. “My family is here. I’m a mother,” she says with so much pride it slays me. Liam’s arm around my waist is the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground.
“I’m a wife to an Unblemished Brother.” She shakes her head at me. “You’re not my family.”
She turns away from me for the second time and I watch her until she goes into one of the houses.
“Enough!” David’s voice sounds over the grounds. “Go about your duties.”
That’s all it takes to have everyone dutifully return to whatever job they have.
He comes to stand in front of us. Part of me instinctively wants to kneel, but I don’t. He’s just a man.
“You think you can return after nine years and Claire would just leave with you? You’re a fool.”
Liam’s been quiet up until now. He takes a step forward so that he’s standing between David and me.
“Claire is sixteen,” Liam hisses and the anger in his voice surprises even me. “She’s a minor.”
“There are no minors here,” David says smugly. “They marry when the divine one orders it so.”
“That’s a load of shit you can feed your puppets,” Liam takes another step closer. “You ordered a child to marry that old piece of shit.”
The control David’s been keeping in front of his people slips away. “The women here know their place. They are born to serve. They willingly marry to …”
I go blind with rage as the shock of Claire refusing me starts to recede. I launch my body at David and throw everything I have into the punch. When my fist explodes with his jaw, pain shudders through my hand and up my arm. Before I can take another swing at him, Liam is there, pulling me away.
He keeps his arms around me and I feel the cold metal of his phone pressing against the back of my hand.
I look down and see the numbers ticking over on his phone’s screen. I frown, not fully understanding what I’m seeing.
David struggles to his knees before one of the other men helps him to stand.
“I’ll ruin you,” he hisses at Liam. “I’ll sell her over and over until they use her up. Women are only good for one thing and that’s turning a profit by spreading their legs.”
Liam’s arms tighten around me and then I watch him press a button and everything that happened in the last few minutes pours from his phone’s tiny speaker.
He recorded it?
“You’re going to forget you ever knew Mila. If I find out you’re sniffling around her, I’ll send this to the press. I’ll give it to anyone who’s willing to listen. I can’t do much about this fucked up slave thing you have going here, but I can protect Mila. Don’t send someone like you did with Hailey. Don’t ever make contact again.”
David’s face pales, and it’s with sadistic curiosity that I watch the side of his face turn red from where I hit him. He suddenly lunges at Liam and tries to grab the phone from his hands. The men standing around us also close in and fear ripples over me. They’re going to kill us! I’ve risked it all for nothing.
“Stop!” Liam shouts. “I’ll fucking press send and this recording will go to my cousins and uncle. They will finish you off.”
Immediately, David stills, and I can see the anger warring with frustration in his eyes. He knows Liam has him cornered but I can see the manic look that might just push him over the edge – he wants to kill us.
“If you come after us, I’ll send the message. If you threaten us in any way, I will send the message. I have you by the balls and you know it. Now back the fuck off.”
“Get off my property. You’re trespassing,” David spits in anger. He looks at me as if I’m nothing but shit under his shoe but it doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters. Claire has rejected me, rejected freedom.
I failed to save my sister.
Liam grabs my hand and he starts to run back to the car. My legs move because I’ll fall if they don’t.
He bundles me into the passenger side and quickly runs around the car. He speeds away from my former life, the sister that rejected me, and the hope that now lays shattered on the compound ground.
Closure … it’s such a deceiving word. There’s no such thing as closure.
Time doesn’t heal all things, either.
You just get used to living with the pain. That’s all there is to it. You get so used to it that sometimes, you can make yourself believe that it’s gone.
There will come a day that I’ll be able to tell myself that I don’t feel rejected by Claire. There will come a day where I’ll believe myself when I say it’s okay that I left her there.
Today is not that day.
When we get home to Bloomington, Harper and Mickey is waiting at the house.
My emotions are all over the place. I’m not sure how we got back to the car. I don’t remember much of anything after the realization that Claire wasn’t coming with me hit.
“You’re okay!” Harper cries out and she grabs me, pulling me to her. She holds me so tightly that it feels like she’s squeezing the tears from me.
I feel deflated. I had hoped for so much. I had dreamt an entire future that included Claire. I’ve had fantasies where I get to kill David in the most gruesome way.
I feel deflated. Everything I had hoped for, dreamt about, fantasized about – none of it happened.
Liam has a recording and he believes David will leave me alone.
But I don’t have Claire. I don’t have the satisfaction of watching the life drain from David’s eyes.
“You’re okay,” Harper says again, and then she starts to cry.
For the longest moment we both just hold each other while we cry.
“I have nothing,” I sob into her shoulder. “My sister rejected me. I didn’t even get to kill that bastard.”
“Shh … shh,” Harper comforts me. “You have so much.” She pulls back and her hands cup my cheeks. “You do have a sister. Fuck, Mila, I’ve been here all along. Stop pushing me away. I want to be in your life. I want to love you.”
Her words make me cry harder and I throw my arms around her neck. I cling to Harper with all my strength.
“I thought I lost you,” I say through the sobs tearing through my chest.
“Never,” she whispers hoarsely. “I love you so much, Mila.”
I feel a hand on my back and then Liam says, “It’s been a long day, Harper. I told Mickey that we’ll get together tomorrow night. Right now, we need to sleep.”
“Sure,” she says, pulling away from me. Her eyes caress my face and then she smiles. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
“Thank you,” I whisper as she steps away from me. “Thank you for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself.”
She reaches out to me and gently brushes a tear from my cheek. “That’s what sisters do.”