Liam~
“Tell me more,” she whispers, pressing her face into the crook of my neck. Her mouth is hot against my skin and it makes me want to kiss her.
I’m glad she can’t read my thoughts. I’m not ready to tell her about Rosie. I want today to be about me and her getting to know each other. That makes me clamp down on my memories and feelings. I need to stay focused on Mila for now. This is my one chance to make her see that we can be great together.
“More?” Her breath fans warm over my throat, making it hard to concentrate on anything. She has to know how hard I am for her, with her pussy pressing down on me like that.
My hand grows a mind of its own. I lift the hem of her shirt and start a slow caress on the strip of skin just above her shorts, working my way from her hip to her back.
“Tell me your happy moments as a kid,” she murmurs, her voice vibrating against my skin. I tilt my head more so my mouth brushes along the side of her face, only stopping when I reach her ear.
“Happy moments,” I whisper in her ear. I close my eyes, bringing up the first day I saw her. “This girl walked into class, and she took my breath away. I still remember saying thank you for her coming to study there. She was even smaller than Little Pete, and never said a word, not to anyone. When she finally made a friend, Harper was the lucky one. I tried to figure out what she did right just so I could do the same thing and make that beautiful girl my friend.”
“Harper was a relentless little shit.” Mila lifts her head. There’s a soft smile around her lips. “I never knew.” Her words are barely a whisper, as soft as her fingers skimming up my neck, towards my jaw. She cups my cheeks, her hands smooth and cool against the stubble starting to form already. “Liam?”
“Yeah?” I can hardly breathe with her this close to me. I watch her swallow hard. Her eyes jump to my mouth, only for an instant, before they come back to my eyes.
“I’m sorry about last Friday, it’s just…” She tilts her head, looking away over my shoulder, but I catch the look in her eyes, a flash of hopelessness and fear. Something is keeping her from giving herself to me.
I tighten my hold on her, my hand fanning open over her back. She arches into me, also tightening her hold on me, and it encourages me to ask, “Tell me what’s making you hold back, Mila. What’s keeping you from spending this time with me, from trying to see if there can be more between us?”
Her fingertips press hard into my shoulder blades and it’s only when her breaths start to heat the stretch of skin over my shoulder that I hear her breathing hard. She inches closer to me still, pressing her breasts hard into my chest and if it weren’t for her ragged breaths, I’d be turned on to the point of exploding in my pants.
I slide my hand to her side so I can pull her back when I feel the ridges under my fingertips. I feel her tremble, I hear her gasp and it all makes sense – the marks I saw peeking out from under her shirt last Friday.
I forgot about the damn marks. Are they the reason she stopped me? She keeps saying she’s different. Could it all be because of the damn scars?
I want her to open up to me so badly, so I take a chance.
“So there’s this girl, right, and I’m crazy about her.” Shit, my voice is trembling. I’m sure she can feel how my heart is racing right now. “She’s funny and likes to climb trees, or a specific tree that I know of. She loves feathers, even the plain grey ones. She gets drunk really fast and then wants to take over planets.” Her breathing calms to a few shaky ones. “I want this girl to take over my planet. I just don’t know how to convince her to do that.”
The silence stretches between us. I don’t move my hand from her back, taking in the feel of the silky skin stretched thin over the welts.
“I don’t know how to take over planets,” she says before a miserable, little laugh bubbles up her throat.
“You’re doing a great job of it so far.” I’m taking in the fact that she’s letting me touch her back as a damn good sign, so I keep going. “I want to be with you, Mila, more than anything.”
“I want to be with you, too, but-”
That’s all I need to hear, all I want to hear. “No buts, nothing else matters. It only matters that you feel the same as me.”
“Liam,” she cries, pushing away from me, but when she realizes she has nowhere to go in the water, she grabs hold of my biceps again.
“I should’ve brought you into the lake sooner. It would’ve saved us a whole week.”
“How do you figure that?” she says, scowling at me. She even looks cute scowling. I’m never going to be able to be angry at this girl. I’m so screwed.
“You’re stuck, totally at my mercy. You have to talk this thing through before I’ll let you out of the water,” I say, grinning like the total douche I’m being right now.
“You’re going to keep me here until I agree to date you?” She narrows her eyes at me and I feel the air shift between us to something more serious, intense.
I stand my ground, because if there is one thing I want, it’s her. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Hmm.” What the hell does that mean? It’s like when a woman says fine. That one word has a zillion meanings.
She glances up at the sky, then slides her hands up the sides of my neck.
“I’d guess it’s around six, what do you think? We have another two hours of sun. I don’t mind seeing who can last the two hours before sunset.”
“You think I can’t hold you for two hours?” She obviously doesn’t know how much I want her. “You weigh nothing, Mila.”
“It’s not holding me that’s going to be your problem, Liam,” her voice drops. Sweet Lord, it sounds like velvet.
She tightens her legs around me and lets go with her hands. For a second I think she’s going to fall back, but then she reaches down between us, into the water. The movement is swift. I really didn’t see it coming until the material passes over her head.
I make a sound, something between a growl and a moan, and she smiles as if she’s already won.
Droplets of water run down her face, her neck, and I keep following them to the swells of her breasts peeking from the bra she’s wearing. It’s cute as hell. It’s a soft pink color and is covered with little blue dots. The lace cups her perfectly.
All the blood rushes to my cock. Oh shit, I’m screwed.
The slap of her shirt over my shoulder rips my eyes away from her breasts, and I find that my legs have to work harder to keep us above the water. She might just win the challenge after all.
“You’re such a guy, Liam,” she teases. “One peek at the girls and we almost go under.”
“Actually, this is perfect.” I keep my voice neutral, smirking a little. “You can keep going. Don’t let me stop you now,” I throw the dare back at her.
“Are you being for real?”
“Hey, this was your idea. I didn’t tell you to start stripping. I figure I can stay out here until you’re all out of clothes. Nothing on God’s green earth will be able to distract me from you giving me a personal strip show.”
The sweetest laughter bubbles up, and my eyes drop back down to her bouncing breasts. It’s taking everything I have not to grab hold of her hips and press her down on me.
“You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?” she teases.
“Just sayin’,” I joke back.
Mila leans in, brushing her lacy bra against my chest. My heart stutters, and I swear everything in me jumps to attention. Damn, that feels good.
She presses harder against me and it gives her a super-hot cleavage, one she doesn’t hesitate to rub against me.
My body starts to hum with need for this girl. I slide my hand up to her neck, soaking in the feel of her soft skin.
“Do you still feel brave, Liam?” Her voice drops to a murmur, and I think it’s about time I turn the tables on her before I lose it and grab her right here in the lake.
“The question was never about how brave I was, Mila.”
Using my other hand, I lift her higher so she’s face to face with me, and her warm center is around my abs.
“It’s about how brave you choose to be, Mila,” I say, daring her with my eyes to give us a chance.
“What’s your definition of bravery?”
“Someone who keeps going against all odds.” That answer came easy. I really believe it’s someone who never gives up. They keep going no matter what. Only the bravest survive.
Her face clouds over, her eyes dropping to my chest. That was not the reaction I expected.
Her voice is hoarse when she whispers, “Cathy called me brave once. She said I beat the odds, that I’m one in a million.”
I tilt my head, trying to catch her eyes, and when I do I grip her closer to me. She has the same scared look she had last Friday before she freaked out. She’s been giving me all these little pieces of herself today. I want to take every bad memory she has and replace them with good ones.
I don’t want Mila to suffer. Watching how Rosie was destroyed by those people almost killed me. I won’t let that happen to Mila as well.
Mickey’s right, she’s got me by the nuts.
She’s watching me closely and I know she’s taking in my reactions to what she’s telling me. I’ll deal with it all later, when I’m alone. Right now, I’ll be whoever she needs me to be.
I dare asking her another question, hoping she’ll tell me more. “What odds?”
She opens her mouth and I can see she’s trying to form the words.
Her eyes glaze over with pain and then she whispers, “Liam.” She makes my name sound like a prayer.
It happens fast. Her breaths start to wheeze and I feel her heart hammering against my chest. That was one question too many.
I don’t hesitate and bring us to the pier in record time. I hold her shaking body to mine as I haul us out with one arm. When I set her feet down on the wood, her breath hitches and I wait to see what she’ll do next.
She doesn’t freak out like last Friday. She slams her tiny body into mine, wraps her arms around my waist and clings to me. It feels good. She chose me instead of letting the panic attack take her.
She finally chose me.
I hold her to me, enjoying that, in this moment, I am stronger than whatever Mila fears. She might not realize it, but there is no way I’m going to let her go now.
Her breathing calms slowly, and after a little while her voice comes out, trembling at first. I lean in closer to catch every word.
“They were all just sitting outside the house, like it was just another day. Don’t ask me why I did it, I just did.” Mila tightens her arms around me, as if she’s trying to burrow deeper into my chest. “I buried her wedding ring in the sand when she wasn’t watching. She had forgotten it right by the kitchen sink after doing the dishes. When she started to look for it, I got scared. I knew I’d be in trouble so I went to hide from them.”
She turns her face into my chest and by drawing her shoulders up, she manages to make herself even smaller. A protective instinct flares hot through me and I wrap my arms tighter around her, wanting to shield her with everything I am. I won’t let her down. This time I’ll fight harder. I’ll be there for Mila. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be. I won’t fail again.
“There was an old suitcase under the bed he slept on whenever it was her turn for him to visit. I was so scared. I didn’t think. I got in it and pushed my way back under the bed. They found me later that night. I’d managed to stay hidden since the morning. A whole day I stayed in that suitcase listening to them calling for me. But I knew then already to be scared … to fear them.”
My heart aches when I think of her small and scared.
She rubs her cheek against my chest, her voice barely a trembling whisper. “I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have stayed so long. I should’ve run away sooner … but I was too scared that they would find me.”
I stand, shocked. What kind of life did Mila have before she came to Bloomington?
“What happened when they found you that day?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.
“I was punished and I had to repent.” She shivers and I start to rub some warmth into her back.
The word repent sticks with me. I’ve heard Elijah and the men from the cult say it a lot. For a horrible moment the thought crosses my mind that Mila could be from a cult, but I quickly dismiss it.
“He came into my room. The light was off and he told me …” She turns her face fully into me, her body trembling in my arms.
“It’s okay,” I say, not knowing what else to say right now. I press my mouth into her hair and whisper the words again. “It’s okay.”
“It’s the first night he told me that I’m tainted …” She sucks in a breath and then the words come out hoarse and broken. “He said I’d never be good enough for anyone. He said I was nothing more than a disgrace to my family … a burden.”
She makes a tiny sound, muffled against my chest, but it vibrates all the way to my gut. What kind of parent does something like that? Then again, I know what kind of parent – someone like my mother.
I drop more kisses in her hair. If I could swallow her with my body, I would.
My throat grows thick, wishing I could erase all her bad memories.
“Tell me how you got hurt,” I start a slow caress over the right side of her back where the scarring is.
“It wasn’t just one time. Every time I didn’t do something right, I got punished.” I drop my eyes slowly from where I’ve been looking at the porch wrapping around our house, to her back. I hate seeing the welts left on her creamy skin.
I’ve never talked to anyone about Rosie. Sure, the people around here found out, but that’s because of my cousins dropping a word here and there. I haven’t even said Rosie’s name out loud since we moved from Utah to Bloomington. Weird – that both Mila and I are from Utah. Seems everyone is crazy in that state.
“I’ve never told anyone any of this,” she murmurs, yanking me from my thoughts, and it’s quite the revelation.
“Not even Harper?” I ask anyway. I want to hear her say it. A selfish part of me needs to hear it.
“Nope, tag you’re it,” she sighs into me and if it weren’t for the fact that I just saw Uncle Julian opening the balcony door, I’d stay like this the whole night, with her pressed up against me, but-
“My uncle just got home. I think it would be better if you meet him wearing your shirt,” I say as casually as I can keep my tone.
I start to laugh as she jerks away from me.
“He’s here? Where?” She keeps darting glances over her shoulder, while trying to find her shirt. “Where’s my shirt?” she whispers.
We look at each other at the same time, realizing the same thing. It’s somewhere in the lake.
“Oh you have got to be joking! My shirt is fish bait? You face him without a shirt.” She wiggles her tiny finger at me, grabs my shirt that’s lying on the pier, drags it over her head and looks pleased with herself for solving her problem.
“I like you in my shirt, Mila.”
“You mean my shirt.” She stands on her toes, places a firm kiss on my lips, then picks up her shoes before walking in the direction of the house.
“If that’s payment for the shirt, I have about thirty more in my room if you want them,” I call after her. I grab my shoes, socks and phone, and go after her.
“You think the others got something to eat while we’ve been gone? I’m hungry,” I say as we walk together to the house.
Tonight is going to be awesome, I can just feel it. Tonight is the start of us.
Mila~
“Let me just grab some clean clothes, and then I’ll call Mickey. My truck is here so we can always grab some pizza on the way back to your place if they didn’t get anything yet.” He speaks the magic words.
“Hawaiian! Get that and I’ll do it, Liam,” I turn around and walk backwards to watch his reaction.
“You’ll do what?” he asks, a slow smile starting to pull at the corner of his mouth. Damn, he’s so hot. My favorite actor, Chris Hemsworth, has nothing on this guy.
When his hand slipped up my shirt I waited for the panic, but there were only tingles, sparkles, fire crackers!
I’m slipping into a Liam coma.
I can’t stop talking to him. It’s like he’s sucking it out of me with those eyes. There’s no pity from him. He takes what I tell him and he just absorbs it. He just takes it all from me.
“I’ll give us a try,” I yelp with laughter, as he launches at me. I don’t even get to turn around in time when his hands grip hold of my hips and he yanks me back against him.
I want to drool every time he pulls me up against his hardness.
It’s like he wants me to feel what I’m doing to him.
The only reason I’m wearing his shirt is so he doesn’t have to. I’d like to make a calendar of him for my wall. Liam is off the charts sexy, just a whole lot of swoon worthy body to ogle.
Something vibrates between us, right against my thigh, and I can’t help but giggle. “You’re vibrating, Liam. Not exactly the reaction I was going for,” I say in my most flirtatious voice.
Yeah, that right there is the end of me. I start to laugh.
“Da-aymn, Mila,” Liam says clearing his throat, acting shocked. It only makes me laugh more. “I really have no comeback for that one.” He sets me down. I try to get my laughter under control while he talks to Mickey.
I only pay attention to what he’s saying when I hear my name.
“Tell Harper that Mila is fine. No, don’t,” Liam rolls his eyes, then drags his hand through his hair. “No, Harper, she’s fine. We’ll pick up the pizza. Seriously, girl, you need to chill.”
I start laughing again. I can only imagine the third degree she’s giving him.
“Nooo, mom,” he stretches out the words, throwing his hand in the air. “We skinny dipped. Sorry, we forgot to use protection.”
My jaw drops as he cuts the call, grinning.
“That should shut her up,” he says, all pleased with himself, then he sees my face. “What, too much?”
I can feel the heat crawling up my neck. “You just implied that we … ah,” I wiggle a finger between us, “you know.”
“We almost skinny dipped, and she doesn’t have to know we didn’t use sunblock. Damn, Mila. You have a one track mind. Is that something I should worry about? First vibrators, now sex. What are you going to think of next?”
I choke on a cough. “Spit … wrong hole.” He starts to laugh, enjoying every second of my embarrassment. I’ll get him back. “Just you wait, Liam,” I huff. “Payback’s a bitch.”
“As long as you’re the one dishing out the payback, things might just get kinky.”
I pretend to be offended, widening my eyes. “You calling me a bitch?”
He widens his eyes and tries to look all innocent. “I wouldn’t dare, babe.”
I plant my butt on the grass and quickly put on my sneakers. When I finish, Liam holds out his hand to me and I grab hold, letting him pull me up.
I can’t believe I’m here, at his house. Then again, so much has changed between us in the last few days. He’s … wow, he’s actually human.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He tilts his head, his lips starting to curve into a smile.
He has always been this attractive crush to me, but now that I’ve seen more of him, he’s reached a whole new level. His dark brown hair is spikey and messed up, water drops sparkle in it. His dark brown eyes rest warm on me.
My eyes drink in the chiseled features of his strong face, but I no longer see the boy I fell in love with. I see a twenty-two-year-old man … a man I can love.
When did this go from a one night thing to love?
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the thought. I can’t love him. I can’t do that to him. Scared that he’s already seen too much on my face, I turn around and start to jog the last piece to his house.
“Hurry up,” I yell back to him, hating that I sound breathless, but hoping he’ll think it’s because I’m jogging. “I can hear that pizza calling my name.”
Thank God for big houses. I feel relieved when we don’t run into his uncle. Liam manages to sneak me into his room, which is a bonus. I get a peek into who he is. The first thing I see is how neat his room is. Damn, what must he have thought of my room last week after Hurricane Harper went through it?
I’ve never been in a guy’s room before.
I take a deep breath to steady myself. I can do this. I can be normal. I want to be the girl Liam wants to be with. I want it so badly.
“Here’s a clean shirt you can change into. I’m going to shower quickly while you change.”
“Okay,” I only manage a whisper.
And it’s really okay, because I’m not freaking out like I thought I would and that alone is a miracle.
“Thank you,” I blurt out the words, as I take the shirt from him.
His smile softens and he brings his hand up to my cheek. Brushing his fingertips down to my chin, he tilts my face up to his.
“Any time.” His voice is low and my stomach tightens as his eyes drops to my mouth.
I get the feeling he knows I’m saying thank you for so much more than just the shirt I’m twisting in my hands. Nervous anticipation starts to coil inside of me.
I actually do feel like the Virgin Mary right now. Harper would have such a hoot if she had to see me now, unsure of what to do.
Last week I was brave because he pretty much knew nothing about me. Also, he wasn’t staring at me the way he is right now - as if he’s a starving man and I’m his last meal.
My eyes drop to his neck, unable to handle the intensity of his eyes any longer.
Kiss me … I try some Jedi mind tricks. His other hand slips up my back towards my neck.
Yes! Progress.
I inch a little closer and tilt my head, giving him the universal sign for ‘kiss me now’. I’m about to start climbing up his bare chest when he lowers his face to mine. My eyes dart between his full lips and gorgeous brown eyes, begging him not to stop this time.
Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Darn it! And he stops a tempting inch from my mouth. I can’t keep the frustrated groan back any longer.
His hand bunches in the shirt, between my shoulder blades, and he pulls me in the last inch. At long last, our lips touch.
The same sparks sizzle through my nerve endings just like the last time he kissed me. When his tongue slips into my mouth, explosions erupt behind my eyelids.
I drop the shirt I’m holding and reach for him, needing to touch him. I stand on my toes to get closer to him, wanting to feel his body press against mine.
At first he kisses me slowly, keeping the strokes tentative. When I slip my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers into his hair, the game changes. He pushes me back with his body and the one step I take knocks me into his bed.
I know I was brave earlier, taking my shirt off and all, but that was almost the same as wearing a bathing suit.
This … this is his bedroom, his bed. I’m not ready for sex with his uncle in the house somewhere.
I try to keep my focus on the kiss, but I can’t, not with my nerves going crazy inside of me. He leans in closer and I lean backwards to accommodate his weight. There’s no way I’m going down on his bed.
Suddenly, he pulls away, and he gives me a worried look. “What’s wrong?”
As if every drop of blood I have is pumping into my face, my cheeks flush scarlet.
“Ahhm…” I try to buy some time but I can’t think of a valid excuse.
How do I tell Liam I’m not the usual quick screw his friends are used to? I know I shouldn’t put him in the same boat as them, but I don’t know what his expectations are right now.
Oh my gosh! I’m such a hypocrite. I want him so bad, just not with his uncle roaming the hallways. I want it to be special.
Liam has so much more experience than me that it’s kind of frightening. He’s going to laugh at me like Harper does. I’m an idiot for thinking this could work.
“Mila, c’mon, don’t look at me like that.” His voice is soft. Then he pulls me down to sit on the bed anyway.
My whole body goes rigid the second my butt touches his bed. My heart is pumping like crazy, ensuring every drop of blood stays in my face. It’s so not helping.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I mutter, feeling more like an idiot as the seconds tick by. It’s not a big deal, right?
I’m not in the order anymore. I have to get my shit together. Most people have sex by the second date. I think.
I sit up straighter and, oh no, I can feel it coming – I’m going to start babbling.
I bite the corner of my mouth to try and keep it in but it still just bubbles up. “It’s really nothing, just a minor little thing.” I pinch my thumb and forefinger together to emphasize how minor. “You just caught me off guard.”
Oh shit, here it comes. I even lift my hand to my throat. I think I was aiming for my mouth but I missed.
I rattle on, “You’re more experienced than I am. You and you’re friends have been with so many girls.” I throw my arms wide for extra effect. “Me, I’ve … ” No! Don’t you dare say it, Mila! I slap my hand over my mouth, but I still manage to mutter a few choice words out between my fingers. “I wouldn’t know what to do with you.”
I jump up and quickly walk to the bedroom door, putting some space between us. I can’t believe that just came out of my mouth. I stare at the ceiling with wide eyes, my body on fire with embarrassment.
“Ah … if you have some sort of delete function, now would be an awesome time to use it. Just like delete the last ten minutes. That … that would be so freaking great,” I mumble under my breath.
I grab hold of his door, yank it open and aim for the quickest exit in human history.
Liam~
Mila leaving is not a good thing. I snap out of my shocked state when she yanks the door open and practically hurl myself at her. Her eyes go wider when I press the door closed and slide between her and the only way out of my room. There’s no way she’s leaving. I’m not letting her run anymore.
“Can I say something now?”
She takes a small step back, refusing to meet my eyes.
“So much for hoping you had a delete function,” she mutters.
I’m not at all sure what just went down. I do know Mickey’s past just bit me in the ass. Yes, I’ve been with a few girls, but none of them compares to Mila. And I’m not sure if being with three qualifies me for manwhore status, but that number is nothing close to Mickey’s headcount.
“Look, I know I have a reputation-”
Her head snaps up. “No!” She holds her hand up between us, a look of misery flashing across her eyes. “Shit, I didn’t mean to insult you, Liam. I didn’t mean it that way at all.”
A frustrating noise escapes her and then my heart melts as she pouts, makes the cutest damn puppy face I’ve ever seen. I think she’s trying to look miserable, but damn, she’s looking cute.
“You don’t have a reputation at all. That came out all wrong. I’m screwing this up.” She hangs her head for a second before she whispers, “I-I haven’t.” She glances shyly up at me, her eyes jumping between my chest and my eyes.
“You haven’t?” I’m not following her.
“You know.” She tilts her head and widens her eyes.
I’m still not following her.
She widens her eyes a little more. “Damn, Liam! Do I have to spell it out for you? I haven’t done the deed. Crossed the line. Taken the plunge. Oh my freaking word.” She rolls her eyes and sighs as she mutters, “I haven’t had sex, Liam.”
Oh, that’s it? That’s the problem? No one has touched Mila. Relief suddenly fills my chest. Thank God.
“Delete function, you really don’t have one of those?” She squints up at me, looking mortified that she had to tell me.
“So that what’s been bothering you all this time?” She nods shyly. I take hold of her chin and lift her face to mine. “I’m not going to lie. I want you, all of you. I want to know what makes you happy. I want you to share all your memories with me, but I want you to do it at your pace.”
She drops her eyes from mine and takes hold of my wrist. A panicked look crosses her face and I can’t help but think there is still something big that can come between us.
“Mila, I’ve wanted you for two years, so believe me when I say I really want to make this work. I can be patient. Trust me. I’m in love with you. Nothing can change that.”