Mila~
Beer. It’s fuzzy, foamy, bitter and just yucky. I don’t know how some people can drink it. Liam laughed at my facial expression a couple of times, as I tried a few sips before I decided it wasn’t going to get any better.
“You can’t have her drinking that,” I hear a familiar voice behind me. “Only men can drink that crap.”
“Where have you been?” Liam asks Sadie as she walks into the make-shift bar. She hugs Blake who tries to squirm from her wet grip. She’s the same age as me, twenty. Just like me, she’s finishing at Illinois State University. I’ve heard that Liam and Hunter are going to continue with their studies. I’m not sure what Sadie has planned for her future.
“You’re wet, woman!” Blake protests playfully. Sometimes I get jealous of the love Hunter and Blake obviously have for their little sister. It makes me miss Claire so much.
“Beat it. I’ll take over for a while.” She shoves him away, and then reaches for a green bottle. “Now this is the good stuff.” She pours me some into a paper cup.
“Mila, you know Sadie?” Liam asks.
I take the cup, eyeing the green liquid cautiously.
“Yeah, from classes,” I murmur. My attention isn’t really on the conversation.
It would be rude to decline Sadie’s drink, so I take a tiny sip. I scrunch my nose as the sourness of the alcohol hits me, but I love the sweetness that’s mixed in with it.
“Ooh, much better than the brown stuff,” I comment.
Sadie laughs, “I know, right?” She pours herself some as well. I take a bigger sip this time just as Sadie ask, “So, my cousin finally had the balls to ask you out? How do you feel about him?”
Freaking hell! I instantly become a human sprinkler. It’s green stuff everywhere as I spurt it out. I cough to get the remainder out of my burning throat and nose.
“Fuck, Sadie! Really?” Liam hisses. “You didn’t just ask her that!”
“What?” Sadie laughs “You don’t want to know how she feels?”
I clear my throat as they stare each other down. Blake and Sadie are known for being straight to the point, but damn, this is a whole different level of not beating around the bush.
Now I really need some more of the green stuff. I swipe the bottle from Sadie and pour myself a drink. I don’t care what impression I’m giving as I down it. Things are way too tense for my liking.
I grab hold of the bottle again, trying to think of something to say. The label’s been peeled off the bottle.
“So what’s this called?”
“Think of it as truth serum. Hopefully, it’s going to make you spill all your dirty little secrets,” Sadie laughs.
Liam sighs. “I’m not going to win with her tonight. I apologize now for whatever my cousin says or does for the rest of the night.”
I’ve never seen him so out of his comfort zone. The poor guy. Whether it’s the beer and two drinks, or the vibe of the party ribbing off on me, I don’t know, but I get up and inch closer to Liam. I wink at Sadie and her face brightens instantly.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like your cousin, Sadie,” I admit bravely. “I like him more than I should, if you ask me.”
Liam’s face immediately splits into the same smile he had when I said yes earlier. He takes a deep breath before he looks at me. The warm look in his eyes draws me closer until all I want to do is melt into him.
I feel lightheaded with the happiness and fun coursing through my veins, and it gives me a spark of bravery. I’ve wanted a kiss from him the whole day but I won’t be the one to start it. So I settle for second best and do the same thing I did earlier. I kiss him on the cheek, only this time, I let the kiss linger a few breaths longer before pulling away.
“See ya, Sadie,” Liam says as I pull away. He grabs hold of my hand and pulls me in the direction of the lake where it’s darker.
“So,” he says, when we’re out of hearing distance of Sadie.
“So,” I whisper back, no longer feeling so brave.
“You like me.”
I pull a face. Did he have to say it like that? Seems Blake and Sadie aren’t the only straightforward ones in the Wright family.
“I was tortured. Truth serum, remember?”
It feels as if I have a whole hive of bees swarming in my stomach. Why the hell did I admit that to him?
“We should actually go back and make you drink some. I’d love to hear all your secrets. Your cousin is mean. That-”
Liam stops and suddenly pulls me into his arms, effectively stopping my babbling. I press my lips together to stop the rest of the words from spilling out along with my heart that’s trying to claw its way out of my chest.
“You’re cute when you’re all nervous,” he whispers.
“Glad you think so,” I mutter. “You’re not the one who’s nervous.”
“I don’t need truth serum,” he says, getting my full attention.
“Why’s that?” I decide to push my luck.
Liam brings his hand up to my face and starts to trace his fingers lightly down the side, from my temple to my cheek, leaving tingles racing over my skin. I love the way he touches me.
“I like you, Mila. For the longest time I’ve wanted to hold you, to touch you.” He pulls me into a hug and he does that thing to my insides where they all dissolve into mush.
I don’t want him to ever let me go. I snuggle closer to him, burying my face deep in his chest, and I wrap my arms as tight as I can around him.
Moments like this one makes running away from the cult worth it. It makes it all a little easier while I have to wait to go get Claire. Moments like this keep me from losing my mind to the constant fear that’s threatening to swallow me whole.
We stand in silence, enjoying the feel of being in each other’s arms. Liam is the first to move. He takes hold of my hand again and we continue towards the lake. Has he forgotten that I can’t swim?
“Why are we walking towards the lake?” I start pulling on his hand, wanting to go back to the bar. “I like the green stuff, let’s go get some more.”
“Oh no, you’ve reached your limit. I forgot about you not being into the party thing. You had alcohol before tonight, right?”
“Does communion count?” I ask.
“It should. You need alcohol to survive half the shit religion throws your way.” Liam sounds angry and as he steps in front of me, I search his face for any sign of why he’d be angry at me. Was it something I said?
His hand slips around my waist, between my shorts and my shirt, skin on skin. It’s all it takes to freeze me up. His fingers are inches away from the marks.
With a jolt, I realize the last thing I want to do is pull away from him. What if Liam finds out about my past and he’s okay with it? What if he sees the lash marks and he doesn’t pity me?
What if love is blind and Liam can just like me for being me?
What ifs don’t exist in my world, only cold hard facts. And the only fact staring me in the face is that Liam will be the one running if he sees the marks. My past will scare him away.
He’s used to girls with perfect bodies, perfect lives. Damn, he’s perfect. What the hell is he doing orbiting my solar system?
“Hey, where did you go?” He ducks his head closer to mine, and it would take an iceberg not to notice the intimate position we’re standing in.
“I’m just thinking.” Me and thinking is a dangerous combination. “You’ve been all dark and broody since I met you. You never gave me any signs that you were into me. Or I just completely missed them all. We don’t even move in the same circles.”
Did all of that just come out of my mouth? It must be the green stuff talking.
Tie me down. Gag me. Please, someone save me from myself.
“You think I’m broody? What, like the quiet, deep in thought kind or the moping kind?” he grins at me. Trust him not to miss a word I’m saying right now.
“The quiet kind,” I whisper. “That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.”
“Okay, I’ll keep quiet and listen,” he laughs. “You’re busy saying?” He tries to put on a serious face, but the corner of his mouth keeps pulling into a smile, and it makes me smile.
“We’re from-”
“There you are,” Mickey shouts from behind me. I turn to see him running towards us, Harper, Blake and Hunter behind him. “We’re gonna swing into the lake. C’mon.”
Mickey grabs my hand, and a few seconds later we’re all running toward the swing.
So much for getting my point across. I need to know what Liam is really like. If it’s all about looks then he needs to go find another girl. Shit, why is dating so damn complicated? Not that I’m free to date at this point in my life. I have a plan to get a job, to save as much money as I can so I can go get Claire and help her the way Cathy has been helping me.
I have a plan and nowhere in that plan is there time for a relationship. I’ll only endanger Liam if I allow him into my life. I care too much about him to have him tainted by my life.
But I’m also just a girl, and it feels so good being seen by Liam. The way he looks at me makes me feel desirable.
Maybe I can allow myself just tonight? Maybe I can allow myself a few days of being the person Liam seems to like? It’s so nice to be this care-free girl and not Mila who’s hiding from a cult.
“You still angry with me?” Harper’s question yanks me from my deep thoughts.
I haven’t spoken to Harper since this afternoon, so it feels pretty awkward when she falls in next to me.
I shrug, slowing my pace. I’m not angry, only a little hurt, but this definitely isn’t the place to talk about it.
“I’ll paint my nails blue. Fuck, I’ll even put blue streaks in my hair if you’ll talk to me again,” she whispers.
I start to laugh. “Then you’ll look like Hailey and Maddy. No fair trying to look like the hottest girls in college. You’ll have to do better.”
She stops and faces me with a small smile. “You’re not a thing. You’re my best friend. I’m so sorry about the fight.”
“Woman!” Mickey shouts at Harper. “Get your ass over here.”
Harper lets out a burst of laugher. “Forgive me for wanting a second to talk with my friend.” She shoves her fists in her sides and scowls at him. “And don’t call me woman. You’d swear I’m going to drop to my knees just because you’re under the false impression that you’re hot. You’re not God’s gift to women, dumbass.”
Next to us, a girl lets out a shriek. My eyes swing to the commotion and it’s just in time to see how two men are holding a girl down while forcing her to drink something.
The blood runs cold through my veins as I watch her struggle for air.
The world blurs around me as my heartbeat speeds up. The saliva in my mouth becomes impossibly thick and it’s too hard to swallow.
I don’t know what comes over me, but it’s like I’m possessed by the past. I fall to my knees and brace myself for the beating.
“Forgive me,” I whisper on a harsh breath as the panic attack drags me under. “No. No. No! They’re going to find me. They’ll find me just like they found Chasidee! There’s nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. They won’t forgive me. They’re going to punish me!”
The words keep rolling off my tongue as the memories of what they did to Chasidee engulfs my sanity.
Liam~
I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I’ve been sitting at the bar nursing the same beer for the last two hours, trying to make sense of what happened.
One minute we were laughing, running, and the next Mila is freaking out. I mean, she did a whole one-eighty. It was like she saw a ghost or something. I can’t get the look on her face, the sounds she made – all of it - out of my mind.
She was scared, so damn scared.
When she fell to her knees, I thought she tripped, but then she started hyperventilating. I only made out some of what she said and it sounded like she’s running or hiding from someone? I’m not sure.
Hunter slams another empty bottle down next to me.
“Some freaky shit, yeah? You’ve got yourself a crazy one there, bro.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I fume. I shove back from the bar and send the beer I was holding spinning over the counter. “Don’t talk about Mila like that! You know nothing. Just shut it.” I shove him hard, making him stagger.
I always hide my memories of Rosie so deep because they burn like hot coals when I dare to let them to the surface, but tonight I’m struggling to keep them locked down.
Rosie used to have panic attacks, too. She would fall to her knees just like Mila did, and she’d beg for it all to end.
Now that I’m older, I hate myself even more for failing Rosie. The signs were all there. I should have known how badly my sister was suffering. I could have saved her.
My breaths are harsh as the old anger soaks into my gut.
Mila is in trouble. I can’t fail her the way I failed Rosie.
I need to know she’s okay. I should’ve gone home with her. I shouldn’t have listened to Harper and let Nathan take her home. I brought her to the party.
She’s mine. She’s my girl. Dammit, I should’ve made sure she was okay.
What will she think of me? Does she feel that I’ve let her down? Fuck! It sure feels like I’ve failed her. Just the idea that she might think that of me sets a fire under my ass and I run to my truck. My breaths rush hard as I throw the truck in gear and speed down the street.
I only realize that it’s past midnight already once I turn up her street.
I park outside her house and stare at the one light that’s still on. I’m pretty sure that’s her room.
After five minutes of torture, I phone Mickey.
“Where did you go?” he asks before I can say something.
“I’m at Mila’s. Do you have Harper’s number?”
“Yeah. You sure you wanna do this tonight? Wait until tomorrow, man.”
“Just send it. I’ll see you later.”
I count down the seconds until my phone beeps. Now I hope Harper will take it easy on my ass.
Her phone rings a couple of times. I pinch the bridge of my nose, thinking she’s not going to answer. I should’ve listened to Mickey.
“Hello,” Harper’s voice is muffled.
“Ah … it’s Liam. I got your number from Mickey. Are you at home with Mila?” Shit, I sound like a creep.
“Yeah, I’m with her. She’s not-” I hear Mila, barely audible in the background, say something. There’s a muffled sound, and then Harper’s muted reply to Mila, “It’s Liam.”
“Harper, let me talk to her,” I practically sputter the words in my hurry to get my message across.
“He wants to talk to you.” This sucks. I can’t hear her reply and it makes me feel even more frustrated. “Liam,” Harper starts in a ‘take-no-prisoners’ tone.
“Tell her I’m outside.” I have to try.
“He’s outside,” Harper whispers, and then I hear Mila more clearly reply, “What? Like right outside?”
My eyes are glued to the window. I hear movement, then the curtains are swept aside and I see her. She climbs out of her window, and she’s standing right there in the light coming from her room, while I’m still sitting in my truck, not believing my eyes.
“Move it, dickhead,” I snap at myself. I drop the phone, shove the door open and run toward her.
She’s wearing a clean pair of white shorts, a grey top with no sleeves, only two thin straps. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and all I see is skin. Shit, there is so much skin. I drink in the sight of her.
When I get to her, she leans back against the window, looks down at her bare feet and starts to play with the hem of her shirt.
“Why are you here?” Her voice is soft, not whisper soft, but rather a fragile kind of soft. It chips away at my heart.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you home.” I decide to start with an apology first, to get that out of the way before I lay it all on the table.
Her head snaps up. “What?” A look of confusion settles on her face and she shakes her head once. “Why?”
“I should’ve brought you home, not Nathan. I don’t want you to think that you can’t-” I look up at the stars, hoping I’ll say the right thing. “I want you to be with me. I want you to know that if it happens again, I’ll be able to handle it. I’ll bring you home safely.”
She starts to shake her head more firmly, her eyes shimmering in the nightlight.
“Not if, Liam … when. When it happens again. That’s why I don’t go out. I’ll only embarrass you. Go back to your party.”
She turns around, ducking to go back in. I reach for her and grab hold of her wrist. She has to hear me out.
“No, Mila.” Her eyes dart from my hand holding her back to my eyes. “It took me two years to grow a set and finally ask you today. I’m not backing away now, not when I’m this close. I can handle your panic attacks. I’ve handled them before with someone else.”
“Close to what, Liam?” She slaps her other hand to her forehead, a pained expression filling her eyes. “You’ve built a sand castle, and for some crazy reason you’ve put me in it. I’m not that girl. I’m not like the other girls you’ve dated.”
“That’s why!” I say with all the urgency I can muster. Dammit, how am I going to get this through to her? “You’re different. A good different.”
“You think I’m different? I’m not normal?” Her face falls and her grey eyes drown in sorrow.
Shit, I’m so bad at this and she won’t even look at me anymore.
“You’re right, Liam.” She sucks in a deep breath, and it shudders out on her next exhale. It doesn’t sound good. Girls do that before they start to cry. “I-I …” She takes another breath, a steadier one. “Those other girls you’re used to dating are perfect, just like you.”
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
“They all fit in your world. They have these perfect lives. All of it is perfect.” Finally, she looks up at me. Her eyes are so sad it chips at my heart. I just want to hold her. “I’m different,” she whispers.
“None of that matters to me.” Breathe, I need to breathe and say this right. “I don’t want any other girl, Mila. I want you. I want you because you’re different. You’re a fucking beautiful woman and I want you.” Clear as fucking daylight. I couldn’t have said it any better.
She feels this thing between us, too. There’s no way these feelings are only one sided. She has to feel this tension between us. Too much tension and I’m afraid we might explode, but just the right amount, like what we have going at this moment, and-
I lean in before she can take another breath. I’ll just have to prove to her how right we are together.
I press my lips to hers and bring my right hand up to the side of her face to keep her locked to me. Letting go of her wrist, I slip my left arm around her back and pull her up against me, and only then do I move my lips to nip at hers.
Her whole body shudders and I feel it against mine. She reaches up, gripping hold of my shoulders. I pull back slightly, hovering over her lips.
She sucks in a shaky breath. The tip of her tongue moves against my bottom lip as it darts out, wetting her lips. Our breaths rush into each other, the air growing hotter.
I can’t hold back much longer. I want to devour her, but I also want her to give me some sort of green light here.
Another hot breath fans against me and then she pushes herself up, her mouth crashing into mine, and that is good enough for me. She finally kisses me back.
I run the tip of my tongue along her lips, urging her to open for me, and when she does, she tastes better than she did in my dreams.
Sweet … Mila is so damn sweet.
I brush my tongue along hers in one slow sweep, then pull her bottom lip between my teeth. I’ve wanted to bite it for the longest time.
Her hands crawl around my neck, her fingers twisting into my hair. She moans softly into my mouth, igniting every inch of my body with a scorching heat. It burns through my veins.
This is where Mila belongs, right in my arms, and I don’t even care that she can feel how hard I am for her.
I’d die a happy man if I were to spontaneous combust right now. I’ve never wanted anything the way I want her.
I pull away before I lose control and slam her up against the wall. Resting my forehead against hers, I take a few deep breaths.
“Give me the summer to prove to you how right we are together.”
She peeks up at me, looking adorably shy. “What do you mean?”
“We can work, Mila. All I need is this summer. If I’m wrong, I’ll leave, and I won’t bother you again, but if I’m right…” I can’t finish the sentence because I know I’m right … we’re right together – a perfect match.
She looks at the stars, bites at her cheek, and this time I reach for her face because I can. I brush the back of my fingers along her skin and watch her eyes flutter closed.
Damn, I want to hear her moan again. I want her so badly, it’s becoming a demanding ache in my gut.
She ducks her face into my chest and mutters shyly, “I should probably tell you that I have panic attacks often. I can’t guarantee you’ll always be safe around me.”
“I figured that one out, but don’t worry about my safety. Just know I’ll always guard yours.” I smile at how adorable she’s being about what happened tonight, but now I’m trying to figure out if this is her way of saying yes to us giving this thing a try.
She smiles a mega-watt smile up at me. “Smart-ass.”
“You also don’t swim and you get tipsy really fast. Although, I should remember the second I can use that to my advantage someday,” I tease her, loving the way her smile keeps growing.
“Is that so? I only like the green stuff.”
Warmth spreads through my chest and in this moment I know I’ll do anything to keep that smile on her face.
“You can’t stand out here the whole night,” she whispers.
Damn, I’d do anything but go home. She looks over her shoulder to her room and I can see that she’s torn in two.
Please, let her give me a few more minutes.
“Wait one sec, will you?” she says with a shy smile.
“Sure.”
She climbs back through the window, and I check out her body like the horny fucker I am around her. I hear some shuffling and then a blanket gets tossed against me. She climbs out, a flashlight in her hand. I like where this is going I like this a lot.
“What do you have in mind?”
She switches the flashlight on and shines at something over my shoulder.
“Tree house. But I swear, if you leave my side out here in the dark, I’ll kill you.” She says it in the sweetest voice as she passes me, heading towards the huge tree standing in the middle of the yard. It makes me laugh, the fact that she thinks I’ll leave her side tonight.
Fuck me … the view I have of Mila’s ass as she climbs up ahead of me is giving me a huge problem. I need to get rid of it before I get up there. I adjust myself quickly, then follow her hot ass up to the tree house.
I want to take it slow with Mila although that seems almost impossible with me growing a problem down south every few minutes.
When I reach the top of the tree, I wait for her to scoot to the side before I lift myself up. It’s a pretty plain tree house from what I can make out. It’s a few slabs of wood slapped together, and yeah, that’s about it.
“Did you guys run out of wood?” I joke.
“No.” She spreads the blanket out on the slab of wood. “I wanted it like this. Open. I get claustrophobic in…,” She signals widely with her hands and then falls back onto the blanket. “I don’t do small spaces.”
“Got it. Stairs instead of elevators.”
She giggles and starts to draw the figure eight on the branches overhead with the light beaming from the flashlight. I lie down beside her and watch in silence for a while as she makes different patterns with the flashlight.
My mind starts going over a hundred things to talk about. College being finished, the party, what happened tonight to make her freak out like that? I’m just about to ask when the flashlight stops moving.
She clears her throat and sounds hesitant when she asks, “So Blake is going backpacking over Europe. What are your plans?”
“Nothing interesting.”
I reach over and take hold of her hand, weaving my fingers through hers. I was hoping to put this conversation off, until maybe the day before we move to the city. Who wants to start a relationship with someone that’s leaving? Not that I’ll be so far away. It’s only a two and a half hour drive. Maybe, I’ll be able to come home every other weekend, but I can’t make any promises. I have to focus on my studies for the next three years. I owe it to myself and Uncle Julian.
“We’re going to finish our law studies at the University of Chicago’s law school. It’s another three years of studying, and then we’ll come back and help Uncle Julian out at his firm.”
Her fingers tighten around mine. I feel my whole body tense as the seconds tick by, waiting for her to say something.
She takes in a slow breath, and she lets it out even slower.
“And here I was hoping…” her voice cracks, she clears her throat real quick. “I was hoping we could go and do something boring like jump on a spaceship and take over a planet,” I hear the slight quiver in her voice and it make me want to hold her.
I turn on my side to face her, take the flashlight and place it between us before I reach for her and pull her closer. She turns over to her side so we’re lying face to face, and the sadness in her eyes is a blow to my gut. I was right. She does care more than she’s been showing me.
I really don’t want to talk about my leaving tonight.
Act calm, act cool.
“You’d take over a planet with me?”
My voice sounds hoarse. I sound like a damn frog, she’s got me wound up so damn bad.
“Sure,” she deadpans. Her face is so serious, for about five seconds then she cracks into a wide smile. She’s unbelievable.
“Look,” she whispers.
“At what?” I can’t take my eyes off her face. I’ve honestly never seen anything more beautiful.
“There’s a feather.” She reaches to the side of my face and picks it up. It’s a normal grey feather, probably from a pigeon.
“I love feathers,” she whispers. “I have a box filled with them in my room.”
“That’s cool,” I whisper. I prop myself up on my hand and then inch closer to her until my elbow is brushing against her hair. I lean down and I can feel her breath fan my face. I whisper, “I want to kiss you.”
There’s a damn sweet tightening in my abdomen as her eyes drop to my mouth. I can’t believe I’ve waited so long. I could’ve had her sooner. How many times could I have kissed her already?
“Mila,” someone calls from down below.
“Shit!” Her eyes go huge. She grabs hold of my shoulders, ducks her face into my chest and starts to giggle.
“Yes, Cathy?” Her voice sounds so sweet I’d bet that if I kissed her now, she’d taste like honey.
“Are you okay up there?” Cathy says, sounding a bit concerned. She should be. If only she knew what I’d like to do to Mila right now, she’d lock her up in her room to keep her away from the likes of me.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Mila turns her face into my neck, and her warm breath sizzles all the way down to my groin.
“If you need me, I’ll be inside,” Cathy calls up to us.
Damn, I need Mila.
“You have the flashlight?” Cathy continues. “I don’t see any light and you weren’t in your room, so I got worried. There’s a truck out front … is someone with you?”
“Yeah, I have the flashlight.” Mila fumbles around for it and then shines it over my shoulder. “Liam, say hello,” she says in my neck.
“Evening, ma’am.” Shit, my voice sounds hoarse. I clear it quickly.
Mila’s body starts to shake against mine with silent laughter. I slide my hand over her hip, towards her lower back, and press her closer to me.
“Evening, Liam. I’ll leave you two to it then.”
“Night, Cathy,” Mila sings in my neck, and then she starts to giggle.
Seconds later her giggle is a full blown fit of laughter that’s pushing her tight body against mine in every good way.
Feeling her breasts shake with laughter against my chest is a dream coming true right about now.
“That’s so funny. Evening, ma’am.” She cracks up all over again. “No one has ever called Cathy ma’am.”
Reaching my limit, I grab her right arm and pin it down over her head. When I slide my one leg between hers, her laughter disappears like mist before the sun.
“You think that was funny?” I whisper intimately.
Smiling, she nods until my eyes drop to her breasts. Dammit, she’s not wearing a bra. Her nipples are hard, and the thin material isn’t doing much to cover her.
My body really does have a brain of its own. Where I had full intention of taking it slow, my pelvis is like a heat-seeking missile.
My cock is practically lined up with the gates of heaven. I can’t help but thrust. I’m only human and she’s so damn hot.
I thrust against her again, loving the friction that’s building between us. She should slap some sense into me but instead she opens her legs wider, all spread out like a dream before me.
And then she moans. Fuck that moan sets my body on fire for her. It’s the end of me. I crush my body down on hers. I take her mouth as if she’s my last breath of life.
Sweeping my tongue inside her mouth, she grips hold of my biceps and her nails dig in deep. It only fuels the fire in me.
I rock my hips into her, and her breath rushes into me. This is hot. This is so fucking hot. This is what I want. Mila breathing my every breath.
I reach for her shirt, but the second I take hold of the material, she breaks the kiss.
“Wait …” she gasps for air and then grabs hold of my hand. “Um … wait.”
She slowly guides my hand away from her and then starts to push me back.
“I should probably go in,” she whispers, sounding sad.
She just went from smoking hot to ice. I blew it. I pushed her too fast. Fuck my life.
“Yeah, it’s getting late. I have to go make sure the guys leave the house in one piece.”
I pull her up with me, highly conscious of every move she makes. Our legs graze, our arms touch. I see skin everywhere.
I need a cold shower, fast.
I make sure I go down first. Yeah, I’m a creep, there’s no way I’m missing the view of her ass. I grab hold of her hips to help her down the last piece, but she surprises me and kicks herself away from the tree.
“Catch me, Liam,” she laughs.
I hold onto her and go with the momentum of her body pressing back into mine. I swing her in a half-circle before I set her down, but before I can pull back, she turns in my arms, stands on her toes, and pulls me down to her.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, because I really do. I just need time. My life’s a mess right now.”
Her mouth crashes into mine, and it’s hot. I love this care-free side of Mila, this side I’ve never seen before. She places another chaste kiss against my mouth.
“Take as much time as you need,” I say as she starts to pull away. “Does that mean you’ll give us a chance?”
“Drive safely, Liam,” her voice is soft again. She’s back to being the withdrawn Mila I’ve always known.
I hate that she closes up around me. It’s not that she doesn’t know me. We need to get past this for there to ever be an us.
“Are you going to do this every time I ask a question? Only fun? I’m not allowed to get to know you?”
“You said it would only be for the summer,” she throws my words back at me. “I’m not even sure I can give you the summer. There are things in my life I have to deal with. I have to find a job, get a place of my own. I’m just not in a good place right now.”
The look on her face can only be described as confusion. Did I get this wrong? Does she see this as a fling, and I’m the only one that feels more?
I wipe my face in frustration. I really like this girl, but shit, she’s complicated. None of my friends would’ve stuck around this long, and it’s only day one. Actually, no, it’s been two years. I’ve been in love with her for two years, and I’ve been trying my ass off to get her attention.
“I only said that because I’ll be going to school in the city. How many different ways do I still have to say this to you? I want to get to know you. I want to see if we can be something before I leave. We could make something work while I’m away studying.”
“I can’t.” The words are soft, but I hear them alright. “This, tonight … I can do tonight, but I can’t be something with someone.”
She leaves me standing, or I let her go, I’m not sure which. When I drive away five minutes later, her light is still on.
I’ll give her the time she needs to get used to the idea of us. Hell, I’ve waited two years, what’s a few more days?