CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Blaze
“You’re sure you’re okay with watching her?” Whitney asks as Ryan tries to herd her out the door. “It’s Valentine’s, maybe the two of you had plans,” she tries again, looking between Trevor and me.
“Our plans are right here, with her,” I give her a reassuring grin. These two obviously want some time alone, and it looks like it’s going to be difficult to get Whitney out the door. “Stella will be fine. You two go out and have a nice night. You deserve it.”
She looks like she wants to say no and argue with all of us, but Ryan clamps a hand over her mouth.
“We totally appreciate the two of you forfeiting your Valentine’s Day so we can go out. We’ll be home no later than midnight.”
Trevor tsks from where he stands behind me. “No sir, you will have her home no later than eleven thirty. It’s a work night and she has a curfew.”
I laugh at the two of them when Ryan lifts a middle finger in Trevor’s direction. “Don’t tempt me, we’ll stay out all night.”
Whitney shakes her head behind the palm of his hand, making muffled words and gestures with her hands, eyes wide.
“Would you two stop? That way they can leave.”
Ryan ushers her out the door, throwing back a “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” before they’re gone.
“I never thought they were going to leave. They act like neither one of us have jobs where we have to be around kids,” Trevor shakes his head as he grabs a slice of the heart-shaped pizza we brought over.
He’s doing well since he’s gone back to half-days, mostly doing paperwork. I’m pretty impressed with how he’s handling everything. I know he wants to be out on calls and things like that, but he’s doing almost everything but.
“They’re new parents, give them a break,” I take a bite of the pizza he puts to my mouth. “What are they doing tonight anyway?”
He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Knowing Renegade? He probably got them room service and an empty bed for the night. Being romantic with your lady with no interruptions? That would be number one on my list if we were parents to an infant.”
“Well, hopefully he’s a little smoother than you.”
“I’m smooth like butter, baby,” he lifts his shirt up, showing his abs. “When was the last time you said no to this?” He uses his hand to indicate the entire expanse of his torso and mid-section.
I try to think back and realize he’s right. I’ve never said no to him. Truthfully there’s a problem there, I should probably make him work harder than I do, but he knows me so well. “Never.”
He leans in, giving me a kiss. “Exactly.”
We grab our paper plates and our bottles of beer to take into the living room. Stella is in her vibrating seat, paying attention to what’s playing on TV. “She’s acting so mesmerized by the shopping channel,” I laugh when she makes a noise as they show a diamond ring. “Yes honey, you tell him that’s what you want.”
Trevor tilts his head to the side. “I wouldn’t have pictured you for a diamond girl. Is that what you’d want?”
This conversation feels heavy to me, one I hadn’t planned on having with him tonight. “In so many ways I’m not the norm, but I think if this came up in a conversation, I would have to say I’m pretty traditional when it comes to things like this.”
He sets his plate down, pulling his phone out. “What are you doing?”
“Taking notes for when we decide the time’s right for us. I want to blow you away, and I’d be stupid not to give you what you want and deserve.”
This man has no idea how much he affects me, how much it means to me that he listens to what I want. I don’t even know what to say. “Quit joking around, Trev.”
“I’m one thousand percent serious. I’ve told you before this thing we’ve got going on is headed toward an altar, and I mean that. Do I think we’re ready for it now? No, but it’s heavy on my mind.”
Stella picks that moment to start crying. As a team, we work to get her bottle ready, and a piece of me melts as I watch Trevor pick her up in his arms, giving her the bottle. “You’re a natural with her.”
He shrugs. “I babysat as a teenager. Not really the coolest thing for a guy to do, but there was a family that lived about five miles from us with three kids and they couldn’t afford a daycare. I started watching them the year I turned thirteen,” he repositions her on his legs and continues giving her the bottle. “Ya know back then there wasn’t this call to arms about everyone being trained in CPR and all of that before you could watch kids. All of them were boys, so we basically spent our summers playing kickball and baseball. The youngest was two and he still took a bottle and had diapers. Not to stay I changed and fed him all the time. His brothers helped a lot, but I learned the basics and they kind of stuck with me.”
He hands her to me as she gets done with the bottle, letting me burp her as he goes and takes care of what we’ve dirtied up. “You never cease to amaze me, Trevor. I mean, I think I know everything about you, and you surprise me with something like this.”
He comes back into the living room holding a piece of chocolate cake with ice cream on it. “Our dessert,” he sets it down on the TV tray in between us. “And I hope I never stop surprising you. I love surprising you. There’s something I never told you, but when we met, I was on a dark path. I didn’t necessarily do things for the right reasons. I joined the military and the Moonshine Task Force because of Renegade. I never wanted him to move on without me, but that night I met you, I started really think about my life,” he grabs Stella from me before feeding me a piece of the cake.
It’s the best kind of cake, full of flavor with just the right amount of moisture. “What did you start to think about?”
“How to get you to go out with me. Some of the stuff I was doing, I knew you wouldn’t have anything to do with me.”
Stella grabs for his fork, but he keeps it out of her reach. “What exactly were you doing?”
Now I’m curious. It occurs to me I don’t know a ton about Trevor’s past, and while that’s okay, I’m interested now.
“Drinkin’ too much, staying out too late, seeing multiple women at once, and then not calling back the ones who would have been good for me after I got what I wanted. I went a little crazy after I came back from overseas. It’s a shock to reacclimate,” he feeds me another piece of cake.
I speak around the food, “I imagine, and it must be difficult when not everyone comes back with you.”
I remember one of our units lost a couple of men on the last tour Trevor and Ryan had done together.
“Yeah,” he gets a faraway look in his eyes. “You wonder what they would be doing today. Would they be married to the girls they were dating? Would they be dads? Hell, one of them might have my spot on the Moonshine Task Force. There’s so many unknowns, and it’s hard to live with. At least for me it was. Renegade didn’t have the problems I had, probably because he had such a shitty childhood.”
“What changed?” I grab Stella, snuggling her close to me. The innocent scent of talcum powder and formula is one of my favorites. It grounds me in this conversation we’re having.
“I met you,” he reaches out, rubbing Stella’s back. “I met you by chance at that damn cookout Holden dragged us to so we could meet our EMT counterparts,” he rolls his eyes. “Holden still tells me how much I owe him, he probably will until the end of time. Even when we’d broken up, he would leave little notes in the squad car about how I should tell him thank you. Without him, I’d never have at least known the love of a good woman.”
I laugh as he makes a face. “Remind me to thank Holden next time I see him.”
“Oh hell no, he’ll keep at it.” He stops laughing along with me, before he reaches over and grabs my hand. “Truthfully, when I met you, things didn’t look so bleak anymore. I felt like I had a purpose. I wanted a date with you, even though it took six weeks.”
“I thought you were joking with me, I mean look at you.”
He blushes a bright red. “Babe, look at you. You’re totally outta my league.”
“Somehow we both managed to compromise our values and find one another,” I move a now sleeping Stella back into her seat. “Amazing how that works, isn’t it?”
Trevor moves quickly and before I know it, I’m on my back on the couch, his big body has covered mine, and he’s dipping his lips down to capture mine. “What do you say we do exactly what Renegade would do?”
“Right here?” I smirk, keeping my voice low as not to wake up the baby we just put down. “This is kinda low-key teenage making out.”
“Baby, I’ll show you just how much I’m a man. Lay on back and relax.”
My belly clenches as I feel his palm moving up, pushing my shirt to bare my flesh. He places a soft kiss on my skin, before he starts pulling the skirt I’m wearing down. I hadn’t really been thinking easy access when I’d put it on, I’d been thinking comfort, but now I’m totally glad I decided to wear it.
“Happy Valentine’s Day to me,” I moan as I feel his fingers slip beneath the lace of my panties.
He glances up at me, our eyes meeting. “Nah babe, Happy Valentine’s Day to us.”
Considering a few months ago I worried we’d never have one again. I’m going to do everything I can to be present and enjoy the hell out of this.