CHAPTER NINE
Tank
I’m sore from the physical therapy session I had yesterday. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t really moved from the couch and it’s nearly mid-morning.
“Do you want another pain pill today or just an over-the-counter medication?” Blaze asks as she brings me some toast.
“Over the counter is fine. I’m sore, but it’s nothing I can’t deal with. I’m going to have to learn to deal with some pain.”
She leans down, kissing me on the cheek. “You do better with pain than a lot of other people, give yourself some credit.”
I didn’t eat last night and the toast is making my mouth water. After coming home from the PT session, Blaze helped me shower, and when I fell into bed, I slept for the rest of the night. Now my stomach is clenching with hunger pains. I inhale one piece in two bites.
“Do you need something else to eat, Trev?” she shoots me a look as she watches me.
I’ve been trying to eat light, because when pain hits me, it can make me nauseous and I’ve already puked twice. This morning though, I feel like I have my old appetite back. I think for a minute before smiling up at her. “Scrambled eggs.”
She giggles, straight up giggles, and the sound goes to my chest. We haven’t had much to laugh about lately. Seeing her throw her head back revealing the curve of her throat, seeing her Adam’s apple bob up and down with the force of her laugh – it warms a spot in my heart.
“Then scrambled eggs you will have.”
I sit up straighter on the couch. “You know how I like ’em, right?”
“Spinach, onions, garlic powder, and hot sauce. I got this, Trev,” she winks as she turns, walking toward the kitchen with a little sway to her ass.
I lay my head back against the arm of the couch and close my eyes, letting them rest for a minute. The extra food will help the pain killers from last night, leave my system, and I hope that I don’t have to take anymore today.
I must doze, because the next thing I know, Blaze is handing me a paper plate. “Here ya go; you’ll feel more awake when you get this in your stomach.”
She sits on the opposite side of the couch, dragging my feet into her lap. It’s nice to sit here with her like this.
“You seriously make the best scrambled eggs. They’re always fluffy. Mine are almost hard when I’m done cooking them. One day you’ll have to teach me all your secrets,” I groan as I take my last bite, laying my hands on my stomach.
“I can’t share all my secrets,” she teases. “Then you won’t want me to hang around.”
I reach down, grabbing her hand that’s resting on my thigh. “I’ll always want you around. If anything, it’s the most important thing I’ve learned since Thanksgiving.”
“I definitely always want to be around.”
We’re interrupted as my cell buzzes beside me. It’s been quiet since I got out of the hospital for the most part, most people just stop by.
I grab it, flipping it over, seeing a text from Ryan.
R: I’m with your sister at the hospital. This isn’t a false alarm. We’re having a baby today.
Holy shit!
T: Do you want me to come up or is this something the two of you want to remain private?
I don’t want to overstep my boundaries with them. I’ll be okay with whatever he tells me.
“Whitney’s in labor,” I glance over at Blaze, not able to help the smile of excitement that’s spread across my face.
“Oh my God! Are you going?”
“I asked what they want me to do. If they want this to be a private thing, I don’t want to go barging in there.”
She nods in understanding. “Yeah, that’s kind of a private thing. Women are usually all spread out,” she grins. “You don’t want see your sister’s stuff.”
“Oh hell no, but if she wants me there, I’ll be there.”
My cell chimes beside me again.
R: Please come up here, I think we both need you. I’m nervous as fuck man. I’m gonna be a dad.
I laugh as I see Ryan’s message. I can just imagine what he looks like right now. His eyes are probably bugged out and he’s more than likely got a vein popped on his neck.
“C’mon, we’re having a niece today,” I’m already struggling to get up.
“Are we?” she asks, holding my hand tightly.
The question is there in her eyes and I know what she’s asking me. “We are,” I tuck one of the crutches under my arm to give me a free hand, cupping her jaw with my palm. “Don’t you know I want you in every part of my life? The minute I woke up in that hospital room, my life came into clear view. I don’t want to live it without you anymore.”
She nods, closing her eyes. I take the opportunity to tilt her chin up, capturing her lips with mine. “One day we’ll make it official, Blaze, just know that’s where I’m headed. I hope you’re headed there too.”
“I am, but I also know we have a lot to work out.”
I lean in, kissing her forehead. “We’ll work it out, all I need to know is we’re headed in the same direction.”
“We are.”
* * *
I haven’t been in an actual hospital since I was released, and I’m not prepared for the anxiety I feel as we go toward the room I’ve been told my sister is in. At the waiting room, we saw Mom and Dad. Neither one of them wanted to be in the room – said they couldn’t deal with it. Perfectly fine, Whitney and I have kinda been each other’s cheerleader our whole lives.
Not to say our parents haven’t been supportive, but Mom wanted Whitney to do pageants and marry a rich guy. Dad wanted me to go work with him on the oil rigs in the Gulf. Whitney supported me and I supported her. We’re close.
As we get to the room, I knock on the door, not wanting to see something brain bleach won’t scrub from my subconscious.
“Man, it’s good to see you,” Ryan greets me as he pulls back the privacy curtain.
We embrace and I can feel the anxiety and fear radiating off him. “You got this my man, this is everything you’ve always wanted. It’s all good,” I clap him on the back.
He doesn’t say anything as he steps back and lets me in. In my peripheral vision I see him hugging Blaze, but my attention is captured by my sister.
I’ve never seen her look more vulnerable in her life. Not even when she came to me the night she left her husband. She’s sitting up in bed, face devoid of makeup, hair up in a ponytail. She fucking looks younger than Ryan and I both.
“How you doin’, mama?” I grin as I carefully use my crutches to get over to her side.
“Really glad you’re here.” The smile she gives me is one of relief and excitement.
“Trev, you just got out of the hospital, you didn’t have to come back,” She tells me as she reaches out to touch me when I maneuver my way over.
I lean down, letting her hug my neck. Even though she’s the older of us, I’ve always been her protector. I beat the shit out of her asshole husband when I learned what he did to her. That’s a secret the two of us will take to our graves.
Blaze moves a chair closer so I can have a seat and then offers Whitney a smile before she moves to the couch in the room. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I know Mom and Dad said to let them know when it gets closer to time, but I’ve never let you go through something on your own before. Just like you didn’t let me spend Thanksgiving by myself,” I give her hand a squeeze.
“I love you, Trev.”
“I love you too, Sis, but fair warning, if they open up your hoo ha and I even get a glimpse, I’m out. Blaze might have to carry me, out at that point.”
She laughs loudly. “Completely understood. I’m so glad you’re here. For a while there, I wasn’t sure whether you would get to see this or not.”
I’m quiet for a few minutes, going back to the days following the wreck. My eyes become unfocused as I remember laying in the hospital bed, wondering if I’d be here for this. Clearing my throat, I lay some truth down on her. “I wasn’t sure I would either, but now that I am, nothing’s going to tear me away.”
“So, I think Alabama is playing. Should I turn it on?” Ryan asks, breaking the silence.
* * *
Blaze has abandoned us to go sit with my parents, but I think it’s because she knew Whitney was close. I’m watching this with complete awe and fear as I sit at my sister’s bedside. I can see her pushing so hard, straining against her contractions as she pushes like the doctor told her to. Ryan stands beside her, offering support, kissing her temple, wiping her forehead down. I’ve never seen either one of them like this, and more than anything, it drives home the fact they temper their PDA in front of me. These two love each other more than I even thought.
“With the next contraction, I want you to push, Whitney. Push against the contraction and we’ll get this baby out,” the doctor says from where she sits.
I’m on the edge of my seat. This is more nail biting than an Alabama football game, which I can hear in the background. We turned it on a while ago, and they’re now in the fourth quarter. I can hear “Dixieland Delight” when Whitney starts screaming and pushing for all she’s worth.
“C’mon Princess,” I can hear Ryan encourage her. He puts his mouth at her ear, whispering words of encouragement to her. I can see his lips moving, but can’t hear the words he’s saying. Whatever it is, it makes her grit her teeth and bear down hard.
In the next moment, I hear the baby drop before anything else. Then the most amazing sound I’ve ever heard in my life happens when the loud cries of a pissed off child is heard. I’m not sure there’s a dry eye in the room as I wipe at my own.
I watch as they put my niece on Whitney’s stomach. Ryan looks like he’s about to pass out as they ask him to cut the cord. He moves over to my side, and I stand, putting my hand on his shoulder to offer my support to him. It’s hard to keep my balance without the crutches, but I do it, because I want to be there for three of the most important people in my life.
We share a look, one that holds so much meaning for the both of us. The man in front of me has laid his demons down and found happiness. In the look, he’s telling me to go do the same thing.
I’m fascinated as I watch them clean her up and put her on Whitney’s chest. She calms almost immediately as she hears her mom’s heartbeat. Ryan and Whitney glance at each other with a love so pure it almost makes me jealous.
I’m about to leave, to give them some privacy when Whitney reaches her hand out to me. “Come meet your niece, Trevor. I want her to know what a badass uncle she has to go along with her badass dad.”
I take her hand and let her pull me forward, Ryan’s steadying me on my other side. She moves the blanket so I can see the baby’s face.
My eyes meet Whitney’s and for the second time today, tears are rolling down my cheeks, getting caught in my beard. I use my finger to caress Stella’s face. She’s the perfect mix of the two of them. I can tell immediately she’ll more than likely have the same type of hair I do, and it makes my heart beat a little faster. “She’s gorgeous.”
“She is,” Ryan agrees.
Out of nowhere, her little hand reaches up and grabs my finger. With one tiny finger grab, this girl has my heart, and I swear she kind of smiles. Today, is the best day ever, and I tilt my head back, thanking God I’m here to witness it.