Chapter 15

Alex

I’ve been drifting since Ron left me, losing all sense of how many hours have passed. Each time I come round, it’s to a world of pain—my breasts burning, my chest smarting, my pussy stinging, and added to that I’ve cramps in my arms I can do nothing about. He’s not coming back.

Tears flood from my eyes as I think about Tyler, the son I have to accept I’ll never see again. Ron said he’d gone to get him, and I’m afraid for his life. Ron’s imperfect son who he never loved. I dread to think how he could try to toughen him up. Ignoring what’s wrong with him isn’t going to help, and not getting him medical attention when he needs it could be fatal.

No one’s ever going to find me. Hell, they won’t even be searching. And if they were, why would they think of looking here? I was fooling myself, Celine would never think of the cabin, it was years ago that we last came here. And it’s not a place many people would stumble across. Again I pull at the handcuffs, only confirming there’s no way I can get free. And even if I could, I know I’d be too weak to leave and find help.

And then I’m too drained to even try to get loose, and I pass out again, to return to a brief period of consciousness, then the cycle repeats once again. I know the life is leaching out of me, it’s getting harder and harder to open my eyes. Even with only the sun’s movement to guide me, I can tell hours must have passed since I last was awake. I struggle to stay alert, not knowing if this is the last time I’ll see anything at all. But this time, as I lose that battle and sink into darkness, I accept this is the end, my body’s been too abused.

Now I must be hallucinating as I hear voices, my arms feel free, and God do they hurt. But there’s a sensation as though someone’s rubbing them gently, the returning blood causing a different type of pain. It must be a hallucination, miracles don’t happen. Has Ron returned? No, I’d be waking to a nightmare in that case, not to the touch of caring hands.

If someone’s here, I want to move, to show I’m awake, but the pain threatens to pull me under again.

But no one could have come. My mind must be trying to calm me, conjure up sounds to reassure me I’m not dying alone.

“Alex, oh Alex, darlin’. Just hang on, doll. Help’s on its way.”

That’s Dart’s voice. Now I’m certain I’m dreaming. He’s in Tucson, not here. He’ll be working at the club, wondering why I haven’t turned up to dance. One more tear squeezes from my eye as I think of lost chances. He’ll never know how inappropriate my feelings were towards him. I wanted him as more than just my boss, and more than a friend.

The voices keep talking, and the gentle touch on my arm continues. The thought I’m not alone is soothing. Maybe it’s not my imagination. Maybe there are people here for real. I’m torn between forcing open my eyes to see nothing has changed and remaining under and accepting my fate. It might be better not to know, to simply fade away, enjoying the fantasy that people have come to help. Perhaps this is how death will take me away.

Someone’s touching my face, wiping the tear from my eye. Surely that must be real? Facing disappointment head on, I make one last effort. The light is dim, but there’s a face close to mine.

A face which I recognise. He must be a vision. But if that’s what my mind’s letting me see, I don’t mind. If I’m dying there could be a worse last sight than of his beautiful features.

I see his eyes widen, watch as he starts, and then his mouth works. “Alex?” he offers cautiously.

I swallow, but can’t manage to speak.

“Save your energy, darlin’. Help’s gettin’ close. We’ll get you fixed up, sweetheart. Stay with us now.”

Ignoring his instruction, I try again. “Hhhh… how?”

“How am I here?” He interprets my blink as confirmation. “Long story, darlin’. We came to San Diego to get Thompson to give ya what yer entitled to. Bad fuckin’ mistake, should have stayed close to ya.” I swear his eyes are glistening. “I’m so sorry, darlin’, that we didn’t get here in time. So fuckin’ sorry.”

I try to convey that it’s not his fault. Nothing’s his fault. But my mouth is so dry it’s too hard to talk.

“Rest, darlin’. Doc’s nearly here. He’ll get you sorted.”

I swallow again, trying to force out one word. Eventually I manage it. “Tyler.”

Dart’s hand covers mine. “Don’t worry about him, Alex. He’s safe. He’s with Slick, my brother. He won’t be letting Thompson anywhere near him. We’ll look after him. I promise you that.”

Such immense relief. I trust Dart with my son—more than I ever trusted Ron. “Look… Look after him for me.” I don’t know why, but I know that he won’t abandon him.

“You’ll be with him soon, doll.”

But I feel so weak, I’m not sure I will. I want to keep listening to the voice that confirms I’m alive. But despite my desire and my effort, I drift off again.

The next time I wake there’s even more voices and activity. I feel a pressure on the open wounds of my chest. Now a moan comes out as I open my mouth.

“Doc’s tryin’ to help you, darlin’. I know it hurts.”

“Alex. I’m a doctor. I’m just covering your wounds with a sterile dressing, and then we’ll move you down to the club where I can work on them better.”

I groan again. While everything in me wants to get out of this place, I’m scared of being picked up and moved. But the doctor’s got that covered.

“I’m giving you a painkiller and a sedative. Now just relax.”

I feel a sharp stab in my arm and it all goes dark again.

I know nothing more until I wake to find I’m lying in a properly made bed, not on a bare mattress, and while I’m still in pain, it’s at least bearable.

Tyler.

I try to sit up, but there’s tubes running into my arm, and the pull on the wounds on my chest send pain shooting through me.

“Hey, just lie back. You’re gonna be fine, Alex.” Dart, who I hadn’t noticed sitting on a chair by the bed, leans over me.

“I heard voices. Is she awake?” Dart mumbles a confirmation, and the new voice continues, “Doubt you remember, but I’m the doctor who’s been treating you. Doc, they call me, okay? Unimaginative for sure.”

“Tyler?” It might be rude, but it’s all I can say.

“You’ll be able to see him soon, but we thought it best to get you tidied up first. Didn’t want to worry him.”

“Dart’s right, sweetheart. Now let me check your stitches. Dart, you want to give us a moment here?”

“I’d like to stay,” Dart replies tersely.

My fingers tighten around Dart’s hand. I’m frightened to see my own wounds, but I’m even more worried about him seeing them. Who wants the man you’ve previously had erotic thoughts about seeing that you’ve been disfigured for life? “Could you wait outside, please, Dart?”

There’s a flicker of something I interpret as pity in his eyes, before he gives a slow nod of understanding and leaves. It’s then I remember he’ll have seen them before, back at the cabin. Ron had left me naked.

“Okay. You ready?”

I don’t think I’ll ever be. After a moment’s hesitation, I lie. “Yes.” At least I’m alive.

Having obtained my permission, Doc gingerly draws down the sheet and removes the bandages. I risk glancing down, and tears come to my eyes. God, I’m such a mess. Although the doctor’s obviously an expert with a needle and neat stitches have now closed the wounds and cleaned away the blood, the flesh around them is puckered, red, and angry, and clearly spelling out that hated word. Ron had certainly succeeded in what he set out to do. With letters carved into my chest and burns around my breasts, I’m about as undesirable as any woman could possibly be.

“There will be scarring, I can’t avoid that.” Doc’s only telling me what I already know. “The burns, less so. We got them treated quickly. There’s creams we can use which will certainly help. It’s infection that I’m checking for. The wounds on your chest were quite deep. You lost a fair amount of blood.”

As detached as any professional, he pulls the sheet down lower. I cringe, my muscles involuntarily tightening at the memory of exactly what Ron had done. “Alex, you know what else he did?”

“Yes,” I admit, as tears leak from my eyes.

“He was sadistic, messing with your mind. He didn’t rape you, that’s one thing to be thankful for, but I’m not belittling what he did. The mental anguish of being so violated is possibly worse than any physical damage. I know it’s hard for you, but focus that there’s no real harm done, though you’ll be sore for a while. I’m assuming he didn’t use a sterilised needle, so I’m giving you a topical cream to apply. You’ll heal in time with no scarring down there.”

Except in my head. Still reeling from the awful memories, I shudder as he pulls the sheet up, but thankful at least my pussy won’t show signs of the abuse, though I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget Ron’s evil touch there.

“You’re dehydrated and, as I said, you’ve lost blood. I’m giving you a transfusion, fluids, and antibiotics. You’ve got a catheter, so you don’t need to get out of bed for a while. I’ll be back regularly to check you out, and one of the club girls, Eva, is also a nurse. If you get hot and feverish, if you think something’s wrong, then give someone a shout. Oh, and I’ve left painkillers for you.”

“Thank you, Doc.” Though I’ve tried to hold them back, tears start streaming down my face in earnest.

I hear the door opening and closing, and then Dart’s voice. “Hey, we’ve got this. You’re going to be fine.” His hand brushes away my tears.

“You can’t say that, Dart. I’m going to be scarred for life. I won’t be dancing again.”

“Don’t talk about that!” he snaps. “It’s too soon, and all you need to do for now is concentrate on healin’.”

I shake my head. “You know why he did it? He wanted to make sure everyone thinks I’m a whore. And he, he wanted to punish me for him having to be married to me. He… He wanted to make it so no man could ever want or…”

“I know what he did to you, Alex. I saw. He’s a twisted motherfucker. When I find him…”

“Dart, don’t do anything. He’s a cop.”

“Don’t worry about me, darlin’.” Whatever he was going to say, he doesn’t complete it as a knock comes at the door. He opens it, then turns to me with a grin. “You’ve got a visitor, you up for that?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just goes to let the person in, and the best sight I could see comes through. My son approaches me carefully, a look up to Dart to check, before cautiously extending his small hand and taking hold of mine. I curl my fingers around him, holding him tight, wanting to cuddle him but knowing it’s too soon.

“Dart’s told me you’re hurt, Momma.” Tyler sounds like he’s going to cry.

“What did I tell you?” Dart hunkers down beside him.

Tyler draws he’s shoulders back. “That Momma’s hurting and I’ve got to look after her.”

Dart’s hand squeezes his shoulder. “You gonna stay here and keep her company for a while?”

Tyler gives a nod and looks at me, his face scrunched in thought. “You want anything, Momma? I can get you some juice.”

I smile. When he doesn’t feel well that’s what I offer him. “Water would be nice.”

“Here.” Dart passes him a bottle that’s been left on the side. “Give this to your mom. She needs anything else, you come down and get me or Eva.”

Another serious nod from my son. Watching Dart leave, it hits me how quickly a bond has formed between the two of them, which blows out of the water any connection he’d had with his father.

I use the straw that’s been thoughtfully left for me, and then start to count my blessings. Ron didn’t succeed in killing me. I might be scarred, but I’m alive, and reunited with my son who I’d given up hope of ever seeing again.

And I trust Dart to keep us both safe.