“This isn’t the end, Ava. Not by a long shot.” Ryker’s words stick with me all afternoon, leaving an anxious knot in my belly. I never meant for any of this to happen, and now that he knows who I am, I should probably just start packing up my desk. It doesn’t matter that he kissed me like a man starved of life. It doesn’t matter that he looks at me with so much tender adoration it makes me weak in the knees.
This will never work between us, not now, and especially not when I tell him about the growing baby in my belly. I hold my invisible bump, my hand resting low on my belly. I have no one to talk to about the things going on in my life. I’ve never felt so alone, and I almost sag to the floor and crawl into a ball beneath my desk, but then I think about what would happen if Andi saw me.
It’d be yet another rumor to be spread.
Feeling the tears well in my eyes, I know what I have to do. The idea of seeing my mother under these circumstances isn’t something I really want to do. But with Marie acting strange and Gabby visiting her brother, I have nowhere else to go.
Between phone calls and sorting paperwork, I text my mother, letting her know I’ll be stopping by later. It’s probably best that I tell her about the baby now, rather than later, so at least she knows what to expect when I’m forced to move back in with her because I have no job.
I’m almost finished alphabetizing one stack of files when I see Dexter making his way over to my desk with an evil smirk on his face that makes my pulse race. I cringe inwardly, wondering what the hell he could want.
He’s Ryker’s assistant manager of the floor and his very presence makes me feel slimy. I catch Andi staring at me as he makes his way over to my desk, and I have half a mind to flip her off. Since day one she’s been a pain in the ass.
“Ava,” he greets me, the sickening smirk on his face widening. I almost shake out of my skin. Some people might think the guy is attractive in a nerdy I-like-numbers-but-still-live-in-my-mom’s-basement way, yet he rubs me the wrong way. The fact he seems to be in cahoots with Andi only magnifies the feeling.
“Dexter. How can I help you?” I smile, trying to hide the uneasiness that’s swarming me. He moves closer to my desk, and I watch as his eyes dart between Andi and me.
What is he doing? Did she set me up for something somehow? The possibilities are endless, and my panic rises.
“There’s been some rumors circulating that maybe you’re pregnant?” He says the words so smoothly, so slowly, that it’s like he’s trying to convince me to believe his lie. I blink, my eyes going wide. “I know you spend a lot of time with Ryker, and I want to let you know that boss and employee relationships are extremely forbidden in the workplace.”
I can’t help the look on my face, not even if I tried. My mouth pops open in disbelief, and I can’t actually believe that this asshole said what he did. I struggle to close my mouth, unable to form an intelligent word to say.
I can tell he thinks what he’s said is funny, a small smile forming on his lips, and I want to slap him. I want to slap Andi, too, then run as far away from this place as I can get, but I can’t. This is my job, at least for now, and I have to put this asshole in his place, otherwise I’ll be dealing with this forever.
“Rumors are just that, Dexter—rumors. And unless you’d like me to file a sexual harassment complaint with Reed, I would suggest you leave me alone.” I try my damnedest to hide the effect that his question has on my emotions. I’ve dealt with a lot of stuff in my life, but never someone accusing me of fucking my boss. We haven’t “fucked” since the night at the bar, and back then, I didn’t even know he was going to be my boss.
The smug look on Dexter’s face turns sour as he backs away from my desk with his hands in the air as if to say he’s innocent. We both know he’s anything but.
“No, uh, that won’t be necessary. I just wanted to make sure you understood the contract you signed.”
I grind my teeth together, a growl escaping my lips. “I’m well aware of the contract I signed, and I don’t appreciate being harassed in the workplace, so please, leave me alone.”
Anger forms in his features, but he continues to back away from my desk. I look at the time on the computer and decide to call it quits for the day. I’ve been working overtime this past week and could really use some time away from this place that has reminders of him everywhere to gather my thoughts. Between Ryker, Dexter, and the secrets Marie is keeping, I’m starting to feel like my life is its own personal soap opera with yours truly as the star.
I send Ryker a quick text telling him I’m leaving the office for the day and gather my belongings. As I hit send, an incoming message from my mom tells me to stop by on my way home. I smile, feeling a little better, even though the Dexter question knocked me on my ass.
Maybe my mother will have some advice that will be useful. God knows I haven’t been making the best choices lately.
I walk away from my desk and close up Ryker’s office, wondering if this will be the last time I see this place. Is he going to let me go now that he knows who I am? Surely things are going to change. Right?
We’ve gotten one secret out of the way, but the question is, how long can I hold the second one in?
The smell of freshly baked bread fills my nostrils as I walk through the door of my mother’s small two-bedroom cottage. It’s the same one she raised me in, and being here brings back all the memories of my childhood—the good and the bad.
Looking at my mother, I know I must’ve gotten my fair skin and blonde hair from my father, since my mother looks nothing like me, at least not in the physical sense. Her hair is dark, almost black, and her skin is tan, the color of mocha.
When she notices me standing in the kitchen, she smiles.
“Hi, sweetie.” I can’t stop myself from walking over to her and wrapping her in a tight hug. Our shoulders touch, and she returns the hug, making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Pulling back slightly, her eyes move across my face and she studies me closely. “What’s going on? You seem tense, like something is weighing on your mind.”
It’s freaky how moms can do that. She hasn’t seen me for a while, but the moment I’m standing in front of her, she can read every emotion in less than a heartbeat. This news isn’t anything I want to tell her, but I need to talk to someone, considering my two best friends seem to have disappeared on me—Gabby to spend time with her brother, and Marie, well, she’s just acting so weird about Ryker and his brothers, I can’t trust any advice she gives me.
Seeing the conflict on my face as I think, Mom takes my hand and leads me over to her overstuffed couch, pulling me down to sit beside her. Our knees touch when she turns slightly to face me, and the concern on hers has me spilling my guts before I make the decision to do so.
“I met a guy.” She gasps, the joy on her face making me feel worse about what I’m about to tell her than I already do. “God, Mom, I’ve made such a mess.” I look down at my hands where they’re clenched in my lap and try to gather my thoughts.
Her hand covers mine, and when I look up at her, she’s watching me carefully. “Made a mess how, baby?”
I can’t sit here and tell her. There’s too much nervous energy coursing through my body. Standing, I start pacing back and forth in front of her as I tell her about the night we met, how I got drunk and had sex with a guy I didn’t know, then ran away the next morning. I refuse to look over at her, because I’m afraid I’m going to see disappointment in her eyes. Instead, I continue my tale, telling her how it turns out he’s my new boss and how he was an asshole the very time we met, but that he’s different now, sweeter and more caring.
“Okay,” she starts, the confusion in her voice clear. “I’m not very happy about the way he treated you, but it sounds like he’s trying to make up for those earlier actions, and that’s a good thing, honey.”
I’ve never understood how she can be so positive all the time, after everything that’s happened to her. It’s part of the reason we don’t always get along. She forgives too easily, while I don’t forgive for a long time, providing I forgive someone at all.
“That’s not all.” Taking a deep breath, I brace myself for what her reaction is going to be. Even with as positive as she is, I don’t think there’s a way to spin this situation around so it seems like a good thing. My hands go unconsciously to cradle my stomach, and when she makes a squealing sound, I finally look over at her. She’s covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes locked on mine where they’re covering the baby who is still so tiny.
“I’m pregnant, Mom.” Just saying the words has tears filling my eyes, and I watch as her own overflow, trailing down her cheeks unchecked. I’m frozen in place now, waiting for her to pass judgment. I never wanted this, at least not right now, but there isn’t anything I can do about what’s already been done.
I don’t get the chance to say anything else, and maybe she doesn’t want to hear it because she gets up, rushing over to me to wrap her arms back around me, piecing the broken pieces back together. She holds me, rocking us back and forth in the middle of the living room. The comfort of her embrace makes holding back my emotions impossible, and I bury my face into her shoulder as I start to sob. And she continues to hold me, squeezing me tightly against her chest while letting me use her as a tissue.
After a few minutes, I pull away, wiping at my tear-streaked cheeks. “Is this man the father?” I nod my head, my mother’s hands resting on my shoulders holding me in place.
“It is, and I haven’t told him yet, and I’m terrified, Momma. I’m scared to death of what’s going to happen, and I don’t want to do this alone.”
Her hands come up to cup my cheeks, and she comforts me, saying, “No matter what happens, you won’t be alone. You have me, and you know Gabby and Marie are going to be the world’s most involved aunts.”
The mention of Marie has me in tears again. “I don’t know if Marie will even be speaking to me by the time this baby is born. She hates Ryker and his brothers, but she won’t tell me why. Mom, she doesn’t even know them. How can she feel so strongly against them? It doesn’t make any sense.” I shake my head, my emotions taking over.
“I’m sure she has a good reason, Ava. The two of you have been friends for a long time. Just give her a little space, and I’m positive she’ll open up to you when she’s ready.” The reassurance makes me feel a little better, but Mom’s not finished yet. “In the meantime, you need to be taking care of yourself and this little person you’re carrying inside you.”
Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, she leads me back into the kitchen. After getting me settled at the counter, she starts rummaging around the fridge, finally pulling out a deli package of thick-sliced cheese. She sets it, along with a loaf of homemade bread and a container of softened butter, next to the stove and pulls down a flat pan.
It doesn’t take long for her to make them, and when she sets a perfectly browned grilled cheese down in front of me, my stomach growls loudly. “Comfort food,” she tells me with a soft smile. “I think I lived on grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwiches when I was pregnant with you.”
We sit in companionable silence eating our food, talking about everything but the bomb I just dropped on her. She tells me stories about the crazy people who come into the ER where she works, the insane things people stick inside their bodies, and the lies they tell trying to keep the doctors and nurses from finding out exactly what’s wrong.
The ding of my text messages stops my giggles abruptly. There aren’t many people who would be texting me right now, and when I push the button to open my phone, I see Ryker’s name.
Ryker: Fallon and Reed have a son. He’s perfect :)
I can’t help but smile at his words. I’m so happy that everything went well and Fallon now has a sweet little baby to love on. Seeing him so excited about it gives me hope that he’ll eventually feel that way about our baby too… if I ever get up the courage to tell him.
Ryker: I need to see you. Come over?
Am I ready for this? I contemplate ignoring him for a second, but I want to be around him too much to say no. Plus, if he’s going to fire me, I’d rather he didn’t do it at work in front of the entire office.
Ava: Okay. One problem though …
Ryker: What?
Ava: I don’t know where you live, and I don’t have someone who can look up your information and give it to me.
I watch as the three dots start bouncing, telling me he’s typing, before they stop for a few seconds and start up again. They continue to do this three more times before his next text finally comes through.
Ryker: You’re such a smartass.
The next message is his address, and I realize he doesn’t live that far from my mom’s house. Anxious knots fill my belly, mixed with a tiny bit of excitement. My body isn’t sure if it should be terrified or ecstatic.
Ava: Be there soon.
Ryker: Hurry.
“I guess that’s him?” Her voice makes me jump. I was so focused on Ryker, I forgot she was sitting beside me. Nodding, I clutch my chest with one hand and wait for my heartrate to slow down to a normal pace. “Go,” she says, sternly. “Tell him, Ava. You don’t want to wait too long or it will drive a wedge between you.”
She’s right, and knowing that, I push my plate away and stand, stopping briefly to hug her one more time. “Thank you,” I whisper, wishing I could tell her how much her support means to me, but I think she already knows by the look in her eyes telling me so.
“Love you.” Her lips press against my forehead, and the quick touch fills me with warmth.
I pause at the doorway and look back at her, conflicted about whether or not this is a good choice, and she points one finger toward the door in a “go, now” gesture normally reserved for when I was younger and got in trouble. All she had to do was point down the hall, and I knew to go to my room until she said I could come out. I grin as I pull the door shut behind me, but it falls when I remember I’m probably going to be jobless soon, and most likely heartbroken.
Why did I agree to go to his house?
Is it too late to back out?
Ugh, probably.