“THAT’S ALL YOU’RE eating?” Jared asks with raised brows.
I look down at my lightly dressed chopped salad. “Just not really hungry, I guess,” I shrug.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to lose weight. You already have a smokin’ bod. Does Dorian like his women boney or somethin’?” Jared asks, letting his eyes fall over the length of my body draped in tight jeans and form-fitting sweater, revealing more cleavage than usual.
“No,” I reply shaking my head. “I just haven’t had much of an appetite.” It’s true. Whenever Dorian is called away to Greece, which happens a lot more frequently than I’d like, I can hardly function, let alone eat. I know it’s downright pathetic to be so dependent on him but it’s the truth. Thank God it’s finally Friday and he is expected to get back some time tonight. I need him like I need air; I’ve been suffocating without him.
Jared shrugs. “Well, anyway. I’m glad you could come tonight. Seems like we never get to hang out like we used to. So what’s up? What’s new?” He takes a big slug of his soda, regarding me with questioning green eyes. “Holy shit, Gabs! When did you get another tattoo?”
I look down at my right hand, at the little blue anchor that now occupies the space under my thumb. “Oh, that. Yeah. Just a little something I got a while ago. Has it really been that long since we hung out?”
“I guess so,” he replies with another shrug. And it has been. The man that sits before me hardly resembles my best guy friend. His auburn locks are styled much like the young heartthrobs featured on magazines and in music videos and his wardrobe has gotten a major style upgrade. Jared has always been a looker but in his designer jeans, fitted tee and leather Moto jacket, he looks more GQ than soccer jock. And as much as it pains me to admit, Aurora has good taste. Jared is looking hotter than ever.
“How’s life at UCCS treating you these days?” I ask, hoping to distract my mind from the obvious weirdness lingering between us.
“Great. I really like it there. Everyone is really cool. Obviously I’ve been busy as hell with soccer but it’s been awesome.” He bites into his massive bacon burger, chewing slowly before grabbing his soda to wash it down. “And the store? How’s it going?”
“Good. Sales are better than ever now that I’ve incorporated some different styles and local designers. And Carmen is doing great. She’s a huge help.”
For the next hour, Jared and I try to make idle chitchat to fill the uncomfortable distance between us. I just want to press pause and rewind to a time when things were seamless and easy. We were once so close, kindred spirits even. We could talk for hours about absolutely nothing and when we’d run out of things to say, we could be comfortably silent. As long as we were together, everything made sense. But as I stab my salad at our once favorite restaurant, I realize that I’ve lost my best friend. Jared Johnson is a stranger to me.
“Well, I guess I better get to why I asked you to come meet me tonight,” Jared says after our empty plates and glasses have been cleared. He pulls a navy blue velvet ring box out of his pocket and sets it on the table in front of me. I look up at him with shocked, unblinking eyes.
“Jared…is that what I think it is?” Holy shit! Is Jared about to propose? My heart is beating out of my chest, and I’m not sure if it’s from excitement or immense fear. Maybe a mixture of both.
“It is.” He reaches over and opens the tiny box, revealing a glimmering princess cut diamond fixed on a white gold band. “Dealing with what happened with my mom and realizing that our loved ones can be taken from us at any moment, I decided to stop delaying the inevitable. I know what’s important to me now, Gabs. And I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid to take that step.”
I try to swallow, but my mouth is suddenly bone dry. I reach over and grasp my iced tea with a shaky hand, downing it in seconds. “What are you saying?” I whisper as soon as I’ve regained my voice.
“I’m saying that I’m ready. I’m ready to take a leap of faith and start my life with the woman that I love.” Jared smiles at me brightly, his emerald eyes gleaming brightly with adoration.
This is it; he’s going to say those words. I hold my breath in anticipation.
“I’m going to ask Aurora to marry me.”
What. The. Fuck? “Jared, what are you talking about?” I sputter. “Are you crazy?” Aurora? He wants to marry Aurora? Hell no!
“No, I’m not. For once in my life, I’m completely certain about this. Gabs, you should know better than anybody how difficult it was to almost lose my mom again. I’m tired of playing it safe. I want to make Aurora my wife.” Jared snaps the top of the ring box down and slides it back towards him.
“That’s ridiculous, Jared! You can’t marry Aurora!”
Jared recoils as if I’ve just slapped him across the face. “Why not? We’re in love. She gets along with my family. I want to be with her. What’s the problem, Gabs?”
What is the problem? Is it the fact that Aurora is a sex-crazed Dark One that thrives on the depraved desires of others? The fact that her relationship with Jared was manufactured so she could get close to me? Or that she is admittedly still in love with Dorian and always will be? Or could it be that Jared was the guy I once thought I was truly in love with and hoped to spend my life with? But without even voicing my endless questions aloud, I know that the answer is a combination of all my concerns. Not only is Aurora merely preying off of Jared’s undeniable sexual magnetism, she is only sticking around to appease Dorian. The man that we both love. The man that I am certain we would both kill and die for. Love that runs so deep it frightens me.
“Jared, she’s just no good for you. She isn’t who you think she is.” No matter the reason, the look on Jared’s face tells me he’s not buying it. There’s no way to make him understand and protect myself, Dorian, and even Aurora at the same time. But I have to try. “You may think she feels the same about you but you’re wrong. She can’t be trusted.”
“And you know this, how?” he says, his brow furrowed in frustration. “Look, Gabs, I get that you and her have problems. But don’t sit here and try to say she doesn’t care about me. That’s really low. Even for you, Gabs.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
“I’m sure she cares about you,” I say with a huff. “But there are things you don’t know about her, about who she is. And I don’t want you getting caught up in her lies.” I gaze down at the little blue box and am suddenly repulsed by the sight of it. I try a different angle, hoping to tap into Jared’s rationality. “Not to mention that you are no way ready for marriage. You’re only 20, for crying out loud! And you haven’t even finished school!”
“I’m not saying that we’d get married right away, Gabriella. But Aurora is a few years older than me, and women like her aren’t single for long. I need to show her that I’m in this for the long haul. I mean, who wouldn’t want to marry her?”
Ouch. “Jared, if she really loved you, she’d wait until the time is right. It’s only been like what, 5 or 6 months? Give it time. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
Jared exhales noisily. “Don’t you think I know that? I’m not stupid.” He grabs the velvet box and stuffs it back into his pocket. “But after the summer I had, I can’t afford not to live every day to the fullest. Playing it safe is no longer an option for me.”
I nod, hoping that my show of understanding will soften Jared’s annoyed expression. “I know. And maybe one day, you’ll both be ready for such a monumental step. But I have to say, I don’t think that time is now.” Or ever.
“So you mean to tell me, if Dorian popped the question you’d turn him down?” Jared questions with a raised eyebrow.
I look down at my knotted fingers, trying to force down the swell of agony rising in my chest. I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver and I bite down on it to keep my emotions at bay. Why the hell does this subject keep coming up?
“That will never happen,” I whisper. “Dorian will never ask me.”
“Humph,” I hear Jared snort. “Well, looks like Aurora was right about him. But just because your boyfriend has serious commitment issues, you shouldn’t try to bring everyone else down too. Our happiness isn’t always based on you, you know.”
Hold up. I know Jared is not going there with me. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snap, unable to hide my agitation.
Jared runs a hand through his messily styled auburn locks. “It means that misery loves company. Your outlook on love, relationships, life in general…you’re so fucking pessimistic. All because you are unhappy. So we all feel guilty for wanting what we want and try to downplay our happiness to accommodate you. But you know what? Shit, I’m tired of watching The Gabriella Show. I’m tired of rushing to your aide every time you’ve got another shit storm coming your way. I want a life. Not an obligation.”
I gaze at Jared blankly, unable to process the razor-sharp words that have just fallen from his lips. How can he say these things to me? How dare he! All this time I thought that the friendship Jared and I shared was based off of mutual trust, respect, and even affection for each other. And now he’s telling me he felt obligated to stick around throughout the train wreck that is my life?
Before I know it, I’m on my feet, my chair screeching against the floor, causing nearby diners to cringe. I am only just aware that I am rummaging through my purse to retrieve my wallet where I grab a twenty to slap down on the table. It is a feat considering the violent shudders rolling through my body. My hands are shaking fiercely and I know that if I don’t get out of there, Jared will very easily become the target of my unpredictable rage.
“Oh, so you’re leaving? You finally hear the truth and you’re running? Instead of staying and talking this out? I thought you never backed down from a challenge, Gabs,” he snorts, playing a dangerous game at provoking me.
My eyes snap up to his, icy tingles stabbing my eyelids. “Go fuck yourself,” I spew between gritted teeth.
I turn on my heel and stiffly make my way towards the exit of the restaurant, only too aware of the heat radiating from my fingertips. Shudders of white hot anger encapsulate my frame while a deep, agonizing ache grips my chest, causing me to struggle for every breath. I need air, but I can’t seem to make it to the door fast enough.
As I approach the refuge of the double doors, a cold gust of air rips through me, blowing them wide open and startling a group of patrons waiting to be seated. I’m too angry and hurt to even question it. I just will my legs to keep walking until I reach the solitude of my little car.
I slide robotically into the car and start it up as the tremors finally begin to subside. What the fuck just happened here? How could Jared, of all people, take it there with me? And he really feels that way; he sees me as a liability. The pain plaguing my chest grows in intensity with every unanswered question. I’ve loved him for years, only to play second to all his dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks girlfriends and fuck buddies, yet he feels that I’m the one who’s got issues? That I have been too selfish and wrapped up in my own bullshit to be happy for him or anybody else? This is ridiculous. Utterly fucking ridiculous.
Beyond his heinous insults, I try to shake the most staggering occurrence this evening. Jared had a ring. A ring that caused my breath to hitch and my heart to swell at the sight of it. And though it kills me to admit, for one fleeting second, I thought that ring was for me.
What would I have said if it was? I am undoubtedly in love with Dorian but neither one of us could say what the future holds. And he’s made it brutally clear that he has no intention of ever making me his wife. It had never been important to me before but I guess knowing that it could never be a possibility for us has made me somewhat crave matrimony. Plus he said that he wanted me to try to achieve a normal life, a life that didn’t include him one day. What does that mean? That his promise of forever means absolutely nothing? Why doesn’t he understand that there is no me without him?
Not quite ready to go home and face Morgan’s questioning glare, I decide to head to the Broadmoor. Dorian had said that he would be in later and would call me when he got in. Right now, more than ever, I need his comfort, his reassurance. His validation. He is the only person that makes me feel like I am more than just a floundering, pathetic girl with no real goals or aspirations. He makes me feel strong and resilient. I need him right now, and not merely for his encouragement. I need to feel him. I need to feel his skin on mine, pushing away the dreary clouds darkening my fragile heart. He’s the only one who sees just how delicate and broken that I really am. Even through the tough exterior, he knows I am just a little girl. His little girl. Frightened and lonely in a world that rejects what I am. That dispels my entire existence.
As I approach the elaborate double doors of Dorian’s suite, removing my key card from my purse, I get an overwhelming feeling of unease. Dread sweeps over me, causing the hairs in the back of my neck to stand at attention and my stomach to churn the tiny bits of food I was able to eat at dinner. I put some pep in my step and book it to doors, anxious to surround myself in Dorian’s space until he returns.
“What the hell?” I sputter as I enter the living room. I don’t even realize that I’ve lost the grip on the strap of my purse until it tumbles to the ground, splaying its contents on the beige carpet. My heart races at an immeasurable pace yet I feel like I’m in a slow motion sequence of a really horrible movie. And this would be the climax when shit gets real.
“What are you doing here? And you…what the hell is going on?” I ask looking between Dorian and Aurora, each of them wearing a mix of shock and horror. It’s evident that I walked in on a very heated, intimate conversation. “Um, hello? Somebody better start talking. NOW!”
Aurora puts a hand on her very narrow hip and walks over to me, donning a curve-hugging sheath dress and her signature ridiculously high heels. “Oh relax, Gabriella. We were just talking. It figures you’d be the first to congratulate us.”
I look to Dorian, who still is wearing his alarmed expression. He’s dressed in a dark suit, white shirt without a tie, the top few buttons unfastened to expose a small patch of smooth, hard chest. His hand grips the crystal glass of scotch he’s holding and I’m afraid he’ll shatter it any second now.
“Dorian? What the hell is going on? I’m not going to ask again.” He licks his lips nervously, the pinkness of his tongue catching my eye and almost distracting me. Oh hell no! That shit is not working today!
Aurora steps into my line of vision, holding out her perfectly manicured left hand. On it lies the biggest diamond I have ever seen, gleaming brightly on her ring finger. “Gorgeous, isn’t it?” she beams.
I look back to Dorian, still clutching the glass at his side. “Explain. Now.”
He lets out a ragged breath, his broad shoulders falling with resignation. “Something happened. Something out of my control. I’m so sorry, Gabriella, but-”
“We’re engaged!” Aurora interjects, wriggling her fingers in my face. “We’re getting married!”
I stagger backwards, the air exiting my chest so quickly that it leaves me completely breathless. I can sense movement in front of me, but my clouded eyes are unable to focus. Muffled voices and the jingle of feminine laughter echo in the distance. I’m sinking, falling away from this hell.
Snap the fuck out of it, Gabs.
“What did you just say?” I say snapping back to the here and now. There’s no way I heard that right. First Jared and now Dorian? My Dorian? Un-fucking-believable!
“I said Dorian and I are engaged. Beautiful ring, isn’t it?” Aurora snickers.
My head jerks to Dorian, who is wound so tight, he looks like he’s about to have an aneurism. “You bought it yourself, Aurora. Stop acting like a child,” he grumbles. Tentatively, he closes the distance between us, his eyes cautiously searching. “Gabriella, have a seat so we can talk.” He motions with his hands but makes no attempt to touch me.
“I don’t want to sit. I want you to tell me what the fuck she’s talking about. You’re…engaged?” I quell all feelings of sorrow and let my rage take the reins.
“It’s not what you think.” Dorian looks back at a smiling Aurora and a frustrated growl quakes his chest before turning back to me. “She made a deal. It was the only way to keep you and your family safe.”
“What do you mean, ‘she made a deal’? What kind of deal? And since when has my safety been guaranteed?” I take a step forward into the room, eager to get to the bottom of this.
“Aurora deceived me. She deceived all of us,” he grits, trying to ignore Aurora’s wind-chime laughter behind him. “And the only reason why she is even allowed to fucking breathe is because I would do anything to keep you safe, my love. I had to. Your life was threatened and I had to.”
“Threatened by whom?” I ask placing an attitude-fueled fist on my hip more forcefully than I intend.
Dorian lets out an exasperated sigh. “Everyone.”
“Everyone? Who the hell is everyone?”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t know…there have been changes. The Light, the Dark…relations have been less than cordial. And once the Light caught wind of our relationship, they grew worried. They thought we- that I- would influence you. That I would fill you with so much of myself that you would have no other choice but to choose the Dark. These tensions have threatened certain agreements between Light and Dark forces. And some of the Dark families are worried that you could make things difficult for them.”
“But that’s not my fault!” I shout, feeling the makings of fresh tears. I blink them away. Hell no, I refuse to cry.
“I know that. We know that. Then Aurora came up with the asinine idea that if she and I were to marry, that it would be enough to placate the Light. My father agreed. Plus he saw this as a good opportunity to join houses; to create a new elite breed of our kind by joining the Skotos and the Órexes.”
I cringe, understanding exactly what Dorian means. Join houses, create a new breed…The Dark King wants them to have children. To spawn a new type of power. I swallow down the quickly rising bile, rejecting the urge to vomit. I will not give that bitch the satisfaction of seeing me sick and depleted.
“Don’t do it,” I croak, shaking my head. “Please. I won’t let you do it.”
Aurora sashays towards us, a disgustingly pleased look on her face. “It’s already done. The deal has been made. And there’s no going back now. Plus, I’ve already started shopping for dresses!”
“Why are you so fucking spiteful?” I snarl, taking a step forward. The room suddenly begins to hum, the floor vibrating under our feet. “You did this purposely to tear us apart! You are so miserable with your own existence, so…pathetic that Dorian doesn’t want you anymore that you had to go pull some backdoor shit like this!”
“Me? Miserable?” Aurora scoffs, holding her left hand to her chest, the gleam of the massive diamond catching in the light. “Why would I be miserable, Gabriella? Dorian is marrying me, not you. He chose me!”
“But you know he doesn’t love you!” I scream.
“Oh really? Well, guess what?” she smiles.
“Aurora! Enough!” Dorian barks.
“He doesn’t love you, either, sweetie.” She pauses for reaction, letting her sickly sweet smile spread even wider, making her look like the Joker in drag. “Aw, don’t look so surprised. It’s not in his nature. You can’t change him, Gabriella.”
“I said enough, Aurora! Shut the fuck up and sit down or I swear I will rip you to shreds!” Dorian commands, his voice taking on its ancient, guttural timbre.
Aurora shrugs and goes to sit on the couch, crossing her legs with an air of satisfaction. Dorian looks back to me with apologetic eyes.
“What is she talking about, Dorian? What is she saying?”
Dorian opens his mouth as if he is trying desperately to relay something, anguish plaguing his beautiful face. An internal battle brews behind his crystal blue eyes.
Aurora sighs from behind him. “His curse,” she calls out.
I walk past him and stalk towards her. “What curse?”
Aurora admires her ring, her eyes never meeting mine. “He was spelled to love you. His father wanted him to know what it felt like to have to kill the woman he loves. Loving you is merely a facet of his punishment,” she giggles. “I mean, really. Why else would he want someone like you? You can’t be that dim.”
I whip back around to Dorian, hoping, praying, for him to dismiss her claims. He just stands there, tortured and defeated.
“I am so sorry, Gabriella. I do love you. I know I do. Don’t listen to her. It isn’t true,” he mutters in a low voice.
“You were spelled to love me? All this,” I wave around the room, “is a lie? A fucking joke?”
Dorian shakes his head, walking towards me and cupping my face. I want to pull away from him so damn bad but his touch feels so good. I crave his contact.
“I don’t believe it; I never have. I know what I feel. No one can tell me differently.” His glossy eyes burn into mine, eagerly trying to make me understand. “I love you. I want only you. And I know that is real.”
“So this is it. You’re getting married.” I break his hold on my face and spin around to jab a finger just inches from Aurora’s perfectly pink pout. “To her!”
“Oh, gag. Get over it,” she says with a wave of her hand. “It’s not like you two could’ve stayed together anyway. He would have never married you even if I didn’t suggest the arrangement. Besides, you could never give him an heir.”
Fury explodes in my veins, my chest heaving out pure wrath with every breath. My hands ball into tight, hot fists while trembles wrack my frame with a vengeance. Icy cold prickles assault the rims of my eyes before spilling into my irises. The vibrations evolve into a full on quake, every light in the suite flickering violently. Everything not nailed down rattles and shakes causing glasses and knick knacks to fall to the ground.
“Get up! Get the fuck up so I can knock you on your ass! Now! Get up!” I scream taking a step back to give myself more space. She’s right; I could never give Dorian an heir, but it’s none of her damn business.
She giggles again and stands, swinging her dark locks over shoulder. “Is that so? I’d love to see that.” Her hands are suddenly engulfed with a dark red haze at her sides, though her stupid grin doesn’t falter.
“Aurora, step away,” Dorian commands, standing between us. He places his hands on my shoulders in an attempt to soothe me but instantly cringes and recoils as if he’s been shocked with an unseen current. “Gabriella, calm down. Please calm down, little girl,” he coos.
“Get out of my way, Dorian,” I mutter through clenched teeth. The violent shudders coursing through my body make it an almost impossible feat.
“Oh, please! What did you expect?” Aurora chortles from behind him. “Dorian is a prince. He could never truly be with you. And you…you are an abomination. An inbreed. Your own father wasn’t even a pure blood royal. You aren’t worthy of him!”
Glass and mirrors shatter as bright auburn flames ignite from my fingertips, engulfing my hands and forearms. And though my eyes are locked tight on Aurora, looking past Dorian’s blinding beauty, I know they are there. I can feel them. I can feel the power blazing bright and hot surrounding me. And it feels amazing.
“Come closer and say that shit again. I dare you,” I growl. Hell yes, I growled.
Aurora laughs again, her sing-song voice piercing my eardrums like nails on a chalkboard. “Aw, how cute! You really are like your mother. She was just as naive and hopeful as you! Not to mention stupid. Aw, poor, poor pathetic Gabriella.”
That’s it! I. Am. Done.
I push Dorian aside, somehow launching his hard, muscular body across the room with ease. He goes flying several feet towards the dining room, skidding to a stop before smashing into the grand table. As I take the few quick steps towards Aurora’s shocked expression, he reappears beside me, calling my name repeatedly yet avoiding contact. I don’t hear him; I can’t. My frenzied temper won’t let me.
Pulling my fist back, I conjure every ounce of strength, anger and revulsion at Aurora’s words and thrust it directly into her face, propelling her into a mahogany hutch standing yards away against the wall. She flies into it, breaking the glass doors and splintering the wood with a loud crash. Before I know it, she’s on her feet again and in my face, though her clothing has been ripped to shreds and her hair is all over her face, chunks of broken wood and glass sprinkled in her dark waves.
“You bitch! I will enjoy watching you die! Just like your whore of a mother!” she screeches, spewing strings of saliva. Her delicate features begin to morph into something monstrous, her eyes ablaze with white flames. Her tan skin melts into a gruesome pale, almost skeletal form and I instantly recognize my parking lot phantom. Aurora’s darkness.
“Enough!” Dorian shouts, the authoritative tone of his voice demanding both our attention. I hadn’t even noticed that his own darkness had overcome him, transforming him into something almost unrecognizable and even more frightening than Aurora. I suck in a breath and give him my attention though my fists are still ready to strike.
Dorian shouts an order in their shared secret language, telling her to leave. Reluctantly, the Dark seductress pulls her shoulders back after taking a long, menacing glare at my violent expression before stalking out of the suite. I’ve won this round but I highly doubt it will be our last standoff.
Slowly, Dorian’s beauty falls back into place, confining his demon. Piece by piece he returns to me and I will myself to release the teeth-clenching anger that binds my own body. Only then do I become aware of throwing him several feet into the air and causing him to narrowly miss the dining room table. I can’t even begin to explain how I was even capable of that, let alone almost launching Aurora through the wall. Had they been regular humans, I would have surely severely injured, if not killed, them. And the thought of that, realizing just how powerful I will be, doesn’t repulse me. I can’t help but feel somewhat strengthened by it.
Finally the tremors begin to cease and the lights return to normal as we both cage our inner monsters. Dorian looks to me warily, the tiny lines around his eyes indicating how much this ordeal has aged him. He reaches his hands towards me but still doesn’t touch me.
“Gabriella, I…” he begins, unsure of how to begin and maybe a little nervous. “I’m sorry. This isn’t what I wanted.”
“Isn’t it?” I gasp, the tightness of my chest constricting my labored breaths. I try to swallow but my mouth feels like sandpaper. “Isn’t this what all of you wanted from the beginning?”
He shakes his head, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “No. Not me. But I had no other choice.”
“You had a choice, Dorian. I’m the one who wasn’t given one. You took it upon yourself to choose for me.”
Again, Dorian reaches towards me, finally resting a hand on my shoulder. The contact instantly soothes me but I hold on to my steely expression. He tries to meet my gaze with his ice blue eyes, desperately trying to extinguish my rage but I refuse him access.
“I know you’re upset, but-”
“Upset? You think I’m upset?” I shriek, shrugging out of his touch. I won’t let him distract me with head games this time. “Dorian, you are getting fucking married! I have completely put my life in your hands. I am linked to you. Hell, I let you mark me for Christ’s sake!”
“I know,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze to the floor. He runs his hand through his tousled black locks. “And I am grateful. But you have to know that Aurora means nothing to me. And we can still-”
“We can still, what? Mess around? Hook up whenever you need a fix? Hell no! I am not like that! And how dare you think I’d be cool with something like that!” I take in a sharp breath of air and close my eyes trying to reel in my temper.
“How can you stand there and act like I did this for any other reason but to protect you?” Dorian scoffs. “I don’t want her, Gabriella! I don’t want any of this! But I can’t- I won’t- be without you. It is physically impossible for me. And don’t you pretend like you don’t feel the same.”
“You don’t mean that, Dorian. You only think you do, remember? You. Don’t. Love. Me.” Just saying the words nearly brings me to my knees and I fight to keep the hurt, angry tears at bay. No. I won’t let him hurt me. Not again. “I’ve ignored a lot of shit- you not telling me who you were, you breathing and nearly fucking Aurora right in front of me- because I thought that what we had was destiny. I thought we’d get through it all together. But this- you marrying Aurora- I can’t ignore. I can’t be your fool anymore. I won’t let love make me weak.”
“This is destiny, Gabriella. Your destiny is with me. We were meant to be together. I love you,” he urges.
“Stop it! You don’t think this shit is killing me right now? Just stop! You don’t love me, Dorian!”
“Don’t fucking say that,” he grits angrily. “Don’t try to tell me what I feel.”
“Come on, Dorian! Call a spade a spade. You played me. All of you did. And I’ll admit, I was dumb as hell for choosing to see past your betrayal. But I’m done! I. Am. Done! Do you hear me? I asked you to kill me before because I was too weak and blinded by stupid, fucking love. Not anymore. I’m done with being a victim.”
Dorian flinches, taking a step back. “Why are you acting like this? You know I did this for you. For us.”
“I didn’t ask you to!” I yell, my voice cracking with unshed emotion. “You know, I’m pretty sure I lost my best friend tonight. And I come here only to find that I lost the man I love too. All because of shit that just had to be done to save me. I’m so fucking done with losing. I’m done with needing to be saved all the damn time!” I bend down to collect the scattered contents of my purse that has been strewn about during the scuffle.
“What are you saying?” I hear Dorian whisper above me.
I stand and face him, even though it feels as if every bone in my body is breaking just to look at him. I love him so much it destroys me from the inside out. Agony paints his face, his eyes gleaming with his own stubborn tears. The sight causes me to shudder and a radiating ache attacks my chest.
“I’m not trying to say anything, Dorian. I said I’m done. I won’t be your dirty, little secret. Your little abomination to breathe whenever you see fit.”
“You know damn well I don’t see you like that! Don’t be callous, Gabriella,” he warns sternly. He rakes his fingers through his mussed black locks.
I divert my eyes from him, fighting the overwhelming urge to fold my body into his arms and let him make it all better. But I know I can’t do that. Not now. Not ever. “It’s not about being callous, Dorian. It’s about being honest. Aurora was right; I’m not fit to be with you. I’ve realized that from the jump. Maybe it’s time you did too.”
“Don’t say that,” he growls, his lips tightening into a scowl. “Your place is with me. It’s our destiny. We need each other.”
I shake my head, my eyes wincing with my pained realization. “No, Dorian. You only think you need me. And what you truly want isn’t me at all. It’s my power you want.” I reach my hand out to him and rest it on his cheek. Dorian nuzzles his face into the touch and kisses my palm, letting his lips linger on my skin. “All I have left is me. No Jared. No you. I can’t let you break me, Dorian. Because if I do, it will sincerely demolish the tiny bit of strength I have left. And I need that to survive. I need it to survive the catastrophe that is my life. To survive without you.”
He shakes his head furiously. “No. No…just don’t. I…I...” A single, glistening tear rolls down his cheek and soaks into my hand. Knowing Dorian as the composed, stoic man that he is, the sight of his pain causes my own tears to fall rapidly down my flushed cheeks. I have to go; I have to get out of here before I change my mind and surrender to him.
“I’m sorry, Dorian,” I whisper through a sob. “But we can’t do this.”
“No…please,” he begs hoarsely. “I need you. I’ve waited for you for so long.” He brings his hands up to cup my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “I love you so much, little girl. So much.”
“I love you, too,” I choke out.
“Then stay. Don’t leave me. I won’t be without you, Gabriella. I can’t be without you.”
I shrug out of his touch and I let my hand fall from his cheek. Then I step back from him, drinking in Dorian’s beautifully anguished face before forcing my legs to carry me away from him completely. This is it; the end of us. The end of what I thought would have been the most epic love story ever told. I truly thought Dorian was my destiny. I thought the Divine created us to overcome all these obstacles and be living examples of love and resilience. And now that I see how easily Dorian folds when things get tough, how quickly he runs away from adversity, I know that he is not the man I thought he was. Yet, that revelation does nothing to ease the strangling pain assaulting every part of me. It doesn’t make me love him any less.