four
Holly –
“What were you thinking?!” Sage screeches across the table.
We’re at a bar down the street from my building and I’m filling her in on the deal I made with Declan earlier today.
“Obviously, I wasn’t thinking. He had me so worked up both temperament-wise and hormone-wise, I just lost it.”
“Well, you’re backing out, right? Pleading temporary insanity? Something …”
“He looked really good.”
“Holly! So does that tool over by the bar, but you don’t see me making a bet to date him.”
With a heavy sigh, I take a sip of my beer. “I miss him.”
She sips her drink while shaking her head. “I do, too, but have you forgotten how badly he hurt you?”
“No, but …”
“Are you ready to tell him the part of the story he still doesn’t know? I’m not saying this to be mean, but you’re at least fifty percent responsible for your break up by not telling him the truth.”
The weight of my secret has weighed heavily on my heart for two years. I’m not sure Declan would ever forgive me for not telling him.
“At some point, yes, I have to tell him. This may not even work out. He’s a manwhore now, and what he thinks he wants and what he actually wants might be two very different things.”
Sage leans back, drinking her margarita quietly. After putting her empty glass back on the table, she locks her eyes on mine. “We both heard his drunken confession to his fans last night. Declan is honest to a fault when he’s drinking. It’s partially why you broke up in the first place. He wouldn’t have confessed his undying love to millions of people if he didn’t mean it. You’re going to have to come clean, Holly, and the sooner the better.”
“Don’t you miss them?”
“Of course I do. They were our best friends. But I would’ve missed you more. I’m not even sure why it had to be a choice anyway.”
“Me, either, not anymore.”
“Well … look who it is,” Baxter says, appearing out of the crowd as he slides into the booth next to Sage.
“Speak of the devil,” I mutter.
“What was that? Sexy piece of man meat? Why yes, I am, thank you.”
Sage laughs, and I roll my eyes.
“You don’t talk to us for two years and suddenly you’re here? What do you want, Bax?” Sage demands.
“Hey now, put the claws away. I thought we were under a cease fire. Aren’t we waving the white flags?”
Chuckling, I flash Baxter a welcoming smile. I really have missed him.
“That’s more like it. Now, tell Papa all about it.”
Sage snorts. “Is that how you lure men to your bed?”
“Unlike you, I don’t need to lure anyone. They come of their own free will, and my tight ass keeps them there.”
“Come on, Baxter, TMI,” I tell him through my laughter. “Change of topic. What did Declan tell you?”
He looks up at me and flutters his eyelids. “You mean other than what he told the world last night? Only that you agreed to a series of dates, and he gave you some batteries to help you release all that built-up sexual frustration from being trapped in the elevator together.”
“Haha! He’s even claiming the orgasm you got from your vibrator because he gave you the batteries. Holly, you’re fucked, chica.”
Sage flags down the waitress and orders another round as I bury my face in my hands. “You act like an orgasm is a bad thing,” Baxter says as he peels my hands away.
“How did you know we were here, Bax?” He and Sage exchange guilty glances. “I knew it! I knew you two still talk.”
“Not talk,” she hedges. “We check in.” He nods in agreement.
When our drinks come, Baxter holds his up in a toast. “To Holly, for finally deciding Declan has groveled enough. Thank you for putting me out of my misery.”
We clink glasses, but I correct him. “We haven’t decided anything yet. There’s a lot of pain and anger to wade through. I’m just … tired of missing my best friend.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, he’s missed you, too.”
“Kind of hard to tell with his pussy parade.”
Baxter chokes on his drink, and Sage whacks his back. “Damn, Holly, I remember when you used to hate that word. Guess some things have changed in the past two years.”
“That’s what happens when I get to have her all to myself. I’ve inducted her into my depraved world,” Sage adds with smug satisfaction.
Baxter’s eyes widen. “Holly, you needed me around more than you even knew. You can’t let the Queen of the Damned lead you into her debaucherous lair.”
Sage snorts, and I try to hold back my laughter. These two could go at it all night if I let them.
Hoping to get some answers, I turn to Baxter. “So what’s the grand plan?”
“Pretty sure winning you back is the end game here. Getting a ring on your finger, white dress, church, couple of kids for me to corrupt.”
“Come on, Bax, you know what I mean. Declan is all about the grand gestures, and I want to know what to be ready for.”
He reaches over the table and gives my hand a squeeze. “I’m not sure he even knows. He was stunned you agreed. I know it’s asking a lot, but whatever it is … have faith in him, Holls. You might see a pussy parade, but all I see is my best friend searching for something he’ll never find.”
“What’s that?”
“You, sweet thing. We all fuck a few frogs before we find our prince.”
“Amen,” Sage pipes up.
Baxter puts his arm around Sage before turning his attention back to me. “Dec found his princess a long time ago, he’s just passing time waiting for you to come back.”
“This isn’t a fairy tale, and I don’t need saving. What I need is a man who isn’t going to assume things on my behalf. We wouldn’t even be in this mess if he’d only listened to me.”
Baxter raises a well-plucked brow at me. “Think about his career. He talks his ass off, but he also listens to his followers. He pays attention to their words. He’s learned his lesson and he’s ready to repent. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised at Declan’s evolution.”
A few hours later, I stumble into my apartment and glance over to my desk at the pile of work waiting for me. Shrugging it off, I kick off my shoes. I’ll have to catch up over the weekend. Now that my head is swimming in alcohol and I’ve had time to talk to Sage and Baxter, I’m more settled with my decision to date Declan. After all, we dated for seven years before things went haywire. It’s not really that unexpected to try again, is it?
“Shit!” I hop up and down on one foot. “Motherfucker!” My leg is absolutely throbbing from where I just whacked it on a stack of boxes. Yelling does nothing for the pain, but it makes me feel better somehow.
Within seconds, there’s a knock at my door. I hobble over and swing it open without even looking to see who it is.
“Holy shit, Holly, you’re bleeding. What happened?” Declan steps inside and grabs my hand, leading me to the closest chair. Why does he have to live within hearing distance, and why does he have to look so good?
He’s in pajama bottoms, a white t-shirt, and his hair is all messed up. His glasses are even crooked, but I swear it only adds to his appeal.
“Were you sleeping?” I ask, slurring a bit.
“Sort of. Baxter texted me and woke me up. I’m glad he did or I wouldn’t have heard you. Stay put,” he cautions, and walks into the kitchen to wet a paper towel.
“He’s still got such a nice ass,” I mutter to myself.
“I heard that, drunk girl,” he says, flashing me a seductive smile on his way back.
The last thing I want right now is him in my apartment with me when I’m drunk. “I can handle this, Declan, you can go.”
“Not on your life. And why do you have all those boxes in the middle of the floor like that? What’s in them?”
“Books.”
“Since when does Natalie send you books? Especially that many books?”
“It’s a special project I’m working on. Don’t worry about it. They were fine until I forgot they were there.”
As his hand slides up the back of my calf, I quiver involuntarily. Even after everything, Declan’s touch still lights me on fire. He places pressure on the paper towel for a minute, and when he pulls it away, it’s no longer bleeding.
“Do you have a bandage and ointment?”
“Yeah, in the bathroom, in the first aid kit under the sink.”
“I’ll be right back.” He slides his hand slowly down the back of my leg and smirks when goose bumps cover my skin. It shouldn’t surprise him. Even though we’ve had our ups and downs, it’s impossible to be immune to him. I only wish he felt the same way about me.
Within a few minutes, he’s got me bandaged up and good as new, but he continues caressing my skin.
“What are you doing?”
“Enjoying the feel of you while I can.” Declan moves his hand against my cheek, and I momentarily forget why this isn’t a good idea as I lean into his touch.
Pulling back, I look him dead in the eyes. “Talking to Baxter tonight made me reminisce a bit, and I have a question to ask you.”
“Shoot,” he says, staying crouched in front of me.
“What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done with one of your pussy posse?”
He chuckles. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
“Yup.”
He stands, then takes the seat next to me. “Dinner, I guess.”
“Dinner?” I snort, and he nods seriously. “Mr. Grand Gesture … I don’t buy it.”
With a sigh, he turns to me and props his arm on the table. “It’s your prerogative to believe me or not, Holly, but the one thing I’ve never done is lie to you.”
“Why?”
With an astounded look, he replies, “Because I love you, and you don’t lie to the people you love.”
“No, not why about the lie, why about only taking them to dinner?”
After a thoughtful pause, he answers, “Because I’m an asshole. I’m one of those guys, Holly. I don’t take girls out for romance. I take them out so at the end of the night I can fuck them hard and fast. I figure they at least deserve a meal because they’re never getting a follow-up call.”
“Declan Ian James, that’s awful!”
He only shrugs at my shocked expression. “I’m not looking to justify my actions. I don’t even need to explain them to you, but I will always be truthful and answer any questions you have. Without you, shit doesn’t matter. I don’t want a relationship, but I need sex.”
“Yeah, I know, it’s always about the sex with you.”
“With you it wasn’t.”
“I call bullshit on that, but we can save that argument for a later time. Be honest, are you going to be able to date me and not fuck anyone? Not kiss anyone? Not touch anyone?”
“If there’s a chance I’ll have you back in my arms at the end of it all, I can wait as long as it takes. I’ve done it before. My dick will be getting real familiar with my palm again. Unless you want to let me make us both feel good. You have no fucking idea how much I miss hearing you call out my name.”
“All right, enough sex talk. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Thanks for checking on me.”
I stand, and he walks over to all the boxes in the middle of my floor and starts moving them against the wall and out of the way.
“Next time come get me.”
“I can move them myself. They arrived when I was on my way out. I forgot they were there.”
“You shouldn’t move boxes that heavy. Tell Natalie to make the shipments lighter or call me.”
Damn, he’s sexy when he’s bossy.
“Goodnight Declan,” I say, holding the door open for him.
“Goodnight, stubborn girl. See you tomorrow.”
After I lock the door behind him, I lean against it and exhale. Declan James is going to ruin me, I just know it.