eight
Holly
“Good morning, sunshine.”
“Baxter, what are you doing here?” He hands me a latte, of which I immediately inhale the scent with great appreciation. “Thank you for this, come on in.” Opening the door wider, I motion for him to come inside.
“Nice place. Much homier than Declan’s apartment.”
“I don’t know, I kind of like his place. It’s more modern. Take a seat and tell me what brings you by.”
Baxter moves to the couch and smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “So … how did it go last night?”
He props his feet on my table and makes himself comfortable as I take a seat. “Shouldn’t you be across the hall asking Dec that question?”
“Come on, Holly! I’ve missed you. Besides, I need to know your side before I can advise him on his next move.”
As I shake my head, I tuck my feet up underneath me. “It was fine.”
“Fine? That’s all you’re going to give me is fine? What the hell? Where are the butterflies? The glassy lovebird eyes? You’re going to have to do better, girl.”
“Look, it was nice. I’ve missed him, but it was strange, too. We were buzzed and started talking about difficult stuff. Which I was okay with as a friend … I think. But as his ex it was strange, uncomfortable, sad even.”
“Who brought up the difficult stuff, you or him?”
“Me.”
He shakes his head at my sheepish response. “Tread those waters carefully, Holls. This is supposed to be you and Declan starting over, not living in the past. Obviously, you have things to work out.”
“Obviously.”
“You can’t let those things control your future. When Bobby and I got back together, we had the same issues. I wanted to know everything. At first it was innocent. How many guys, how often, what position. Then as our relationship progressed, I couldn’t help but take his words and turn them on myself and then ultimately back on him.”
“How do you mean?”
“All right, so one time he was fucking me up against a wall and pulled a move he’d never done before. I remembered him telling me he and an ex did it against the wall all the time. So while we were going at it, my mind started racing, I asked if he’d learned that move from him, which turned into an argument, which turned into me thinking he was cheating again.”
“I’m so sorry, Bax.”
He waves it off, but the sadness in his tone is more than evident. “It’s water under the bridge now. My point is, sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. Knowing how many girls Declan was with or what he did with them isn’t going to help you. Vice versa for him.”
“So you have talked to him.”
His know-it-all smirk is present. “Texted. But I told him the same thing I’m telling you. To move forward, you both have to forget the past two years happened. Let the questions and the anger go. Focus on now.”
“Why are you suddenly so invested in us?”
With wide eyes, he snaps, “Are you serious right now? I’ve been vested in you two since we were fourteen years old when you stole him from me.”
I’m laughing now; it feels good. “You can’t steal someone who doesn’t want to go. Besides, if I remember correctly, he pursued me.”
“Psht, girl, please. He would’ve eventually succumbed to the allure of my sexy man meat.”
“Oh my God, Baxter, stop.” Tears are streaming down my cheeks I’m laughing so hard.
“Fine, back to my original point. Once you two hit that whole seven-year itch thing and broke up, I was suddenly persona non-grata in your life. Even so, I still kept hoping the two of you would finally come to your senses. I’ve never seen a couple better matched than you and Dec.”
“Seven-year itch, huh?”
“You doubt?” he asks with an arched brow. “Come on, Holly. It was literally seven years to the day the two of you got together that you broke up. Declan jumping to conclusions and you keeping big-ass secrets. I suppose it was bound to happen, but taking two years to work it out is plain stupid.”
He stands and leans over, kissing me on the cheek. “Don’t waste two more years. I could be an uncle by then if you two get your shit together fast.”
I’m practically choking on my coffee as he points a finger at me.
“I’m not joking, Holls. Kids might not ever be on my radar, so I’m sure as fuck not going to miss out on my favorite uncle status. Think about what I said. Life is way too short for dr-a-ma,” he says with a flick of his hand as he closes the door behind him.
Not two minutes later, my phone is ringing.
“How did it go? Did you fuck?” Sage asks, and I can hear her typing away on her keyboard at work.
“Good morning to you, too. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there was no fornication last night.”
With a sad sigh, she asks, “Did you at least kiss those full lips of his? Please tell me yes. Declan has the best lips of any man I’ve ever seen.”
“Sort of. It was more than a peck but not quite a kiss.”
“Aww, he’s trying to make you want it. Score for Declan.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I’m scared to want him, Sage.”
“No, you’re scared to tell him the truth because you know he’s going to be angry. Holly, I’m going to tell you something and I want you to truly hear the words. He’s going to be mad, but his anger with you will be fleeting. His anger with your mom … well, let’s just say it’s a good thing she’s off the grid.”
“I covered it up, though. A lie of omission is still a lie.”
She sighs loudly. “Maybe, but sometimes you read too much into things, Holls. After what happened … it was only natural for you to need some time. If you’d been able to have an actual conversation with Dec before everything went to shit, you would have worked everything out. Trust me on this. I’ve known him just as long as you have. Things will be okay. Have faith in him.”
“Thanks, Sage. What is your schedule like today?”
“I’ve got a few new clients scheduled. Get this … one of my consultations is a man who wants to sue his parents for circumcising him as an infant.”
“Are you going to take his case?”
“If he’s got good medical documentation as to why he has an issue, maybe. I was too intrigued to turn down the meeting.”
“Good luck. Come by tonight for dinner if you want to. You can help me pack up some swag packs.”
I look over at all the boxes in my living room and hope she’ll say yes.
“Will you make me chicken tacos?”
“Anything you want. I’ll grab some margarita mix, too.”
“Deal. Besides, you’ve got to get those boxes out of your apartment before Declan and Baxter start asking more questions.”
Groaning, I reply, “Don’t remind me. There’s so much to catch them up on. And I have to tell Dec before Baxter finds out.”
“Hell yeah, you do. Okay, I gotta go. I think the dick guy is here and if that’s him, he’s fucking hot.”
“Go get him, tiger. See you tonight.”
When I get out of the shower and finally settle down at my computer to get some work done, I have two text messages waiting on my phone. One from my dad asking me to come to dinner this weekend and one from Declan.
Declan: Good morning.
Good morning.
Declan: Do you want to go out tonight?
I thought we agreed to take this slow and go out once a week. Cement our footing, you know?
Declan: Can’t blame a guy for trying. I had a really good night with you. Are we okay today?
This is stupid. Meet me in the hall.
When I open my door, he’s already waiting outside. His eagerness fills me with something I haven’t felt in a long time. Hope.
“Would you like to come in for something to drink?”
“Sure, coffee would be great.”
I point to the coffee pod holder while grabbing a mug. “Pick your poison.”
After handing me the pod, he leans against the counter. “Was that a no on the date tonight?”
“Sorry, I have plans with Sage. She’s going to help me with some work, and I’m going to cook her dinner in exchange.”
“I could help,” he says as I hand him his coffee and we walk to the table.
“It’s okay. It won’t take us long, and I sort of need a girls’ night tonight.”
“Holly, am I wasting my time? Would you rather not do this?” He’s clutching his coffee cup with pleading eyes.
“I … Look, I’m going to tell you exactly how I’m feeling. I want this. More than I’ve wanted anything in a long time. But I’m scared, and I think we should proceed with caution.”
Declan’s blue eyes lock on mine. “Why are you scared, and what can I do to ease your fears?”
“You said you aren’t stupid enough to lose me twice. I’m not sure I could survive losing you again. What happened the first time around was awful enough. That kind of pain …”
“Is indescribable.”
“Yeah.”
He scoots his chair closer and takes my hand in his. It’s more comforting than I want to admit. “I love you, and I’m going to do whatever I can to not hurt you. If that means dating for the next five years, I’m all in.”
Chuckling at his words, I squeeze his hand. “Baxter told me this morning he wants to be an uncle in two years.”
A wide smile takes over his face. “Baxter is a troublemaker, but I’m happy to work from his timeline.”
“How about we work off one of our own?”
“Sounds good to me.” He releases my hand and pulls out his phone. “What’s your schedule like the next few days?”
“You need a calendar to keep track of your schedule?” He rolls his eyes and shows it to me; every day is filled with appointments. “Wow, Declan, that’s crazy.”
Leaning back in his chair, he sighs. “You’re telling me. The money is great, but I’ve got three radio appearances this week, two talk show interviews, and a movie premiere. Not to mention, I still need to do one post on my channel and one more live post.”
“I knew your career had taken off, but it seems like this is just the beginning.”
“Or the end.” He runs his hand through his hair and I wish it was my hand instead. Flashes of me tugging his hair during sex hit me hard, but I shake them off quickly and refocus on him.
“What to do you mean? You’re only twenty-five. What else are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure. This was never my career goal. After we broke up, I put more and more of myself into the videos because it helped me keep my mind off of us. When things took off, I was happy. I could afford what I needed and didn’t have to work a typical job.”
“And now? What’s changed?”
“A lot, actually. There’s a lot more pressure on me now. I’ve turned down a few offers for hosting or co-hosting shows on television. My fans are more demanding. Interacting with them is fun, but it’s time consuming. I think I’m ready to move on, I’m just not sure to what.”
When we were in college, Declan wanted to be a college professor. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to teach, but he wanted something with a focus on political and social injustice. He’d also considered going to law school for a while so he could work for Legal Aid.
“Maybe go back to school? Work toward your law degree or get your teaching credentials like you always wanted?”
He shrugs. “Who knows. I’ll figure it out eventually. If I do my live post today, I could take you out Friday night. Does that work for you?”
Today is already Wednesday; that’s bumping our date up by four days. “What would we be doing?”
“It’s a surprise. Is that a yes?”
I bite down on my lip and nod. God help me.
“Good. Wear a sexy dress and those heels you had on last night.”
“That’s extremely specific. Why those shoes?”
Groaning, he stands, pulling me with him and into a hug. His massive erection presses against me, and the knowledge I still turn him on hits me hard.
“Because I can’t get the vision of you wrapping them around my neck as I fuck you out of my head.”
“Declan,” I gasp, and he places a chaste kiss against my lips.
“A man can dream, Holly. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Later that night, after Sage and I had drunk a few too many margaritas, we were relaxing on the couch once we’d finished packing up all the boxes for shipping.
“If I were you, I’d go put those heels on and text Declan to meet you in the hall because I’m about to leave. Tell him you have something to show him.”
“We haven’t even kissed properly yet. I’m not going to show him anything.”
“You should … before someone else does.”
Her words hit me like a bucket of ice. “Do you think he’ll miss his pussy posse so much he’ll change his mind?”
She realizes the effects of her words and pulls me into a side hug. “No, babe, I don’t. Between what you told me and how Baxter talks, I think Declan would wait forever if you’d forgive him completely.”
Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I’m suddenly melancholy. “They’re all so pretty, Sage. All blonde with perfect tits and hourglass bodies. I can never compete.”
“Holly Ryan, stop it. You’re gorgeous. Every time we go out, someone hits on you. We’re two sexy bitches, and if Declan is stupid enough to mess this up, you’ll just have to find someone hotter and better.”
“Speaking of other men … Stephan called today. He’s back in town.”
“What did he want?”
“To see if I’d changed my mind about giving us a second shot.”
Sage releases me and clumsily puts on her shoes. “Why can’t he get the hint? I mean, he’s hot as fuck, but he’s kind of boring.”
“He’s not that bad. If I weren’t trying this thing with Declan, I might have even said yes.”
Now she’s fumbling to pull up her Uber app. “Well, thank God you are. Seriously, he’s not the right guy for you, Holls. That’s what you told him, right?”
“Pretty much. I told him I’d recently started seeing someone and I wanted to see where it went. Then I wished him luck and that was that.”
“Good. I’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got a booty call waiting for me.”
I’m laughing as I walk her to the door. “Thanks for your help. Tell Jon I said hi.”
“How did you know it was Jon?” she asks as I open the door.
“Because he’s one of the only guys who rocks your world enough to even get booty call status.”
“True,” she says, and we hear a laugh from across the hall. When we look over, there’s another blonde waiting in front of Declan’s apartment.
“Oh, hell no,” Sage says loudly as he opens his door. “Don’t make me take my earrings off.”
“Shh, Sage. It’s fine.” It’s anything but fine, but I’m not going to make a scene.
“What’s up, Dec?” she calls out, making me cringe. He says something to the girl and sends her inside his apartment while he walks over to us. “Looks like I’m not the only one with a booty call tonight, huh?” Sage fires off sarcastically as her phone goes off.
“Go, Sage. Have a good night. Text me when you get home.”
“I’ll do that, and you,” she says, turning to Dec, “you’re on my list.”
“It’s not what you think,” he says, but she walks away with her middle finger trailing behind her.
I turn to go into my apartment, but he grabs my elbow. “Come over.” I spin around to go off on him, only to find the sweetest expression on his face. “Please, Holly. Come over so I can prove to you this isn’t what it looks like.”
“All right.”
His hand finds my lower back as he guides me into his apartment. The blonde has made herself comfortable on his couch with a drink.
“Justine, meet Holly. Holly, this is Justine, my PR manager.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, offering my hand. She takes it, but not before looking me over from head to toe. There’s no doubt in my mind she’s assessing her competition.
“You, too,” she says before turning to Declan.
“I thought we were going to have a business meeting.”
He leads me to the loveseat and takes a seat next to me. “We are. You can say anything in front of Holly. I trust her with my life.”
Anger flashes in her eyes, but she quickly schools her features. “You must be Declan’s ex-girlfriend Holly. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“All good, I swear,” Declan says, squeezing my hand.
“That would be me.”
“What was so important you wanted to meet tonight?” he asks her as his thumb rubs over mine reassuringly.
“You have an offer for a new show and I think you’d be a fool to pass it up.”
His body tenses next to mine, and now I’m rubbing my thumb over his to help calm him. “You know I’m not interested in any shows, Justine.”
“I know, but this is different. Slammed Inc. wants to add a new show to their social media platform. They watched your show the other night and were impressed with your plea to Holly. They want you to run a one-hour, monthly segment to help get their social media platform trending.”
“Why? They’re one of the biggest companies out there already.”
“Because you’re on fire, Declan. Everyone wants you for something. You’re intelligent, attractive, and say whatever is on your mind. They don’t care what you post … well, within reason. They just want you to be a part of their brand. The offer is extremely lucrative.”
“What’s the offer?” he asks in resignation.
“Two hundred and fifty thousand an episode with a one-year contract. With the agreement to make an appearance at three of their company events.”
“What kind of events?” he asks with more interest than before. I’m still stuck on 250k an episode. That’s three million a year to do what he’s essentially already doing. What the hell kind of money is he making?
“A Christmas Party, their annual New Year’s event, and that huge summer concert they put on.” She looks damn proud of herself, and I wonder how much money she makes off this if Declan accepts. His fame is only growing at a time where he isn’t sure he wants it. My heart aches for him, and it aches for me, too. Can I handle being with him at the height of his popularity?
“Are there any mandated videos I have to do at these parties?”
“Nope, they’re strictly like one of the premiers. You’re just going to schmooze and look pretty.”
“A plus one is included?”
“Of course.” She just rolled her eyes at him. Why does he put up with this bitch? She works for him, not the other way around.
“How long do I have to decide?”
She releases an exasperated sigh. “Really, Declan? What is there to think about? This is an incredible offer. Low stress, low obligation, high pay.”
“How long, Justine?”
“Only a week. If I were you, I’d take it. People are talking, Declan, and you’ve turned down more offers than you’ve accepted. You know as well as I do that today’s it boy, is tomorrow’s has been. Fame is fleeting. Take it and the money while you can.”
With a glance at me and then to her and back to me, he mutters, “It’s not that easy.”
She glares at me, and it pisses me off. “It’s not that hard, either. Twelve hours of your time. Twenty, if you count the appearances. Twenty hours for three million dollars. It’s a hundred and fifty thousand an hour, in case you want to know the math.”
“When you put it like that …”
She grins in victory. “I’ll email you the contracts in the morning. This is a good offer, Declan. Even if it’s the last thing you do in this industry, you should take it. Your sponsors on your own pages will skyrocket. It could be an extremely lucrative year for us both.”
And there it is. At least she isn’t shy about what’s in it for her.
“I’ll think about it and call you tomorrow.” Declan stands and walks her to the door. She turns around and looks at me, slightly shaking her head, then turns her attention back to him. She slides her hand down his arm and squeezes it.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Her seductive tone lingers in the air like sex. Eventually, she releases him and he closes the door behind her.
That fucking bitch.
Declan locks the door and turns around.
“She wants you.”
“Is that so?”
“Like you can’t tell.”
I want to wipe that sexy smirk right off his face as he stalks toward me. “Well, guess what?”
“What?”
He pulls me to my feet, and in one swift motion his mouth covers mine. It catches me off guard, but it feels so damn good. My body is now putty in his arms. When I whimper in pleasure, my lips part, and his tongue finds mine. Tingles flood my senses from head to toe as our tongues engage in the most carnal of dances.
“Declan.” I’m gasping for air as his lips leave mine, until he has me moaning when he wraps my hair around his fist. Pulling my head back, he lowers his mouth to my neck. The edges of his teeth scrape against my throat, lighting me on fire. When they sink into my skin, I’m soaring. Overwhelming sensations flood each of my senses as the swipe of his tongue against my tender skin soothes the burn. Our lips meet again as he releases my hair. This kiss is slower, decadent, and filled with want. Within minutes, the tenderness ignites a deeper passion between us, each of us grasping at the other and moaning our mutual desire.
When he releases me, he shoots me a dazzling smile. “You’re the only one I want, Holly Ryan. Don’t you ever forget it.”
It takes a moment for me to get my bearings. That kiss was like being brought back to life. We’ve always had chemistry, but this was so far beyond our norm I don’t even know what to think. When I look at him, he’s deep in thought.
“Are you going to take the job?” I ask, finally pulling myself out of the post-kiss haze.
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“Will you be my plus one to the three events?” And just like that I’m reminded, no matter my fears, he wants to be in this together.
“I’m pretty sure Baxter likes being your plus one.”
“You’re avoiding the question. But if you’re really concerned about Bax, he’ll be fine. He was just holding your spot.”
“That’s mean.”
He pulls me in for a hug. “No, those are Bax’s words. Well, not exactly. His exact words were more along the lines of no money-grubbing whore is taking your place and he’ll hold it until we come to our senses.”
“I think I owe him an apology.”
“For what?”
As I lean into his embrace, I let myself believe this could really be a new beginning for us. “I wasn’t nice to him after the breakup. I shouldn’t have cut him out the way I did. I just thought … Well, it doesn’t matter. The point is, I need to tell him I’m sorry.”
Declan steps away and goes to his desk. He pulls out an envelope and passes it to me. “Give him these. It will break the ice.”
“Lady GaGa tickets?” I ask after peeking inside.
He shrugs. “He loves her. I was saving them for my next get out of jail free card, but I think he’ll appreciate them from you more.”
“I can’t. These tickets are expensive.”
Declan laughs and shakes his head. “You’re cute. I didn’t pay for those, they’re just another perk of the job. Speaking of which, you didn’t answer my question about being my plus one.”
“If we’re still dating, can you ask me then?”
“There’s that nasty if word again, but fine, I’ll ask you closer to the event. What else is bothering you?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
I take a seat on his couch and he follows. “Fine, a few things, but some of it isn’t my business and some of it is jumping the gun.”
“Nothing is off limits to you. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“How long have you worked with Justine?”
“Officially, about fourteen months.”
“Do you have a contract?”
His brow furrows. “For pricing, yes, for duration, no.”
“Is it fair? I don’t want to get into your finances. Your money isn’t my business. I just want to know you’re not getting raked over the coals. Like, with this new deal, how much of your money does she get?” He flashes me a goofy grin. “What?”
“You’re worried about me. It’s cute.”
“Whatever.”
“It’s fair, Holls. She was starting out the night we met. I’m one of her first clients. I pay her a monthly salary, and she gets fifteen percent of any new paid opportunities I sign up for that she initiates.”
“How did she know about me?”
“Aside from the video from the other night?”
A blush heats my cheeks, and he turns my head toward him. “You’re my emergency contact, too.”
“Really? She still wants to fuck you.”
“Yes, really.” He brings his lips closer to mine and whispers, “It’s too bad the only person I want to fuck is you,” before bringing our mouths together again.
Our kiss is slow and sweet, and I hop up when he pulls away. I have to get out of here before I do something I’ll regret. “I should go.”
“Before you go, what else was bothering you? What didn’t you want to jump the gun about?”
“Um, don’t worry about it. If it’s an issue later down the line, we’ll talk more about it. Goodnight, Declan.”
“Goodnight, Holly,” he says, laughing as I close the door behind me.
What am I doing? How can I let myself get involved with him when he’s turning into a celebrity right before my eyes?