The text came through during Wednesday afternoon’s staff meeting. My phone vibrated in my lap, and I read the message under the table in the conference room.

I had nothing else to say to him. I couldn’t see him. I knew what would happen if I did. I was weak, and he knew it. No matter how hard I tried to forget, my body wouldn’t let the memory of Carson fade. It craved more of his touch. I felt my phone vibrate three more times, but kept it locked and out of sight until I was back at my desk.

He was delusional.

I didn’t get a response, but I knew it wasn’t over. I had unveiled a connection I didn’t know existed—stronger than anything I’d ever felt. If Carson didn’t keep his distance, I wasn’t just going to fall into the crack … I was going to jump in willingly.

---

My Friday girls’ night with Dani took forever to arrive. With the winter line approved and in the manufacturing process, and no news on the application process, work was slow. I organized my desk, twice, went through old files looking for possible portfolio pieces, in case that was needed for the application, and finished several sketches that had been sitting on my desk for weeks.

When it was finally five o’clock on Friday, I practically sprinted out of the office.

When I got home, Quinn was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, watching ESPN.

“Hey babe,” he said I as shut the door.

“Hi.”

“How was work?”

“A little slow; I’m dying to know what the application process is, but still haven’t heard anything from Chelsy.”

“Don’t stress about it. I’m sure you’ll get all the details soon,” Quinn said.

“What are doing tonight?” I asked.

“I’m just gonna hang here. Carson might come over, but he wasn’t sure. What are you and Dani doing?”

“We’re going to do dinner, drinks, dancing. I’m going to find Dani a date to the football game if it takes me all night.”

“You know it wouldn’t kill you to just go to the game with her.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I’m on the side of football.” He laughed. “We both love it; you could probably at least tolerate it for one game.”

“Did Dani call you? Are you guys ganging up on me on purpose?”

“I’m innocent, I swear.” He put his hands up in mock surrender.

“Fine, I’ll forgive you this time. But I still hate football,” I called over my shoulder as I went in the bedroom and shut the door.

I emerged thirty minutes later wearing dark jeans, a red off-the-shoulder top, and gray ankle boots. My hair was straight and hung past my shoulders. I’d touched up my make-up a little and put on silver dangly earrings.

“Damn, are you sure you’re not the one trying to pick up a guy?” Quinn said as I walked into the living room. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you, baby.” I walked over to the couch and leaned down to give him a goodbye kiss. Quinn grabbed my waist and pulled me down on top of him. He put his hands in the back pockets of my jeans to hold me in place.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay home tonight? I’d make it worth your while.” Quinn smirked.

“I’m sure you would, but I’ve got to go … I promised Dani.”

“All right, fine,” he pouted. I leaned down and gave him a kiss before he let me go.

---

Dani waited until I was three drinks in, and she was no closer to finding a date, before she brought it up.

“So are you going to tell me why you were being all weird on Sunday?” she asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Just then, the waitress appeared with two tequila shots I didn’t know Dani had ordered.

“Here, drink this, and then stop being a pussy and tell me,” she said, handing me the glass. I downed my shot. And then, because I knew she wouldn’t leave me alone until I told her, and I couldn’t lie to her, I just spit it out.

“I slept with Carson. Alone.” Dani hadn’t finished her shot and coughed violently as she swallowed the rest of it.

“What? Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m not … it happened Sunday morning, after yoga. I told you this is what I was afraid of.”

Dani groaned.

“Fuck, Chloe, I didn’t want to know about this!”

“Well, you shouldn’t have asked then.”

“How did it happen?”

“You need all the dirty details about this, too?”

“No! Just how did it get to this point?”

“He wanted to meet for coffee after the second threesome, and I told him no, but when I got home from yoga, he was there. He was fucking standing in front of our apartment door, looking hot as shit.”

“And you just jumped his bones?”

“No, Jesus. I do have some restraint.”

“Sorry.” She shrugged.

“He wouldn’t leave, we argued, and then he kissed me, and … well, I don’t need to spell it out for you.”

“Now what?”

“What do you mean now what?” I snapped.

“What are you going to do? Are you going to tell Quinn? Are you going to do it again? What if Quinn wants to have another threesome?”

“No, no, and I’ll tell him no.” I answered her questions in order, holding back the urge to make some smart-ass comment about all the questions.

“I can’t see him again, Dani. He does something to me, something I’ve never felt. Sex with Quinn has always been great; I always thought we had a great connection, but this...” I blew out a breath. “This takes it to a whole other level.”

“You know that makes it sound like you’re trying to justify what you did, right?”

“I literally hate you sometimes.” I glared at her.

“What? Am I supposed to sit here and be all supportive of the fact that you cheated on your husband? Because I’m not. I love you, but that doesn’t make what you did any less shitty.”

“You think I don’t know it was wrong? I know, but...” I trailed off. Dani wouldn’t understand. Hell, I didn’t understand.

“But what?” She glared back at me. “You want to do it again, don’t you?”

“You don’t understand.”

“What is there to understand? Please enlighten me.”

“It’s a connection I can’t explain—something stronger than me.”

She snorted.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Don’t try and justify your shitty actions with some deep philosophy garbage. I was supportive of your threesome fantasy—go get it, girl—but I would have never thought you were capable of having a full-blown affair.”

“I’m not having a full-blown affair. It was one time, and it’s over. It’s not happening again,” I snapped.

“But you want it to?”

“Enough with the goddamn questions. I’m done talking about it. I never should have told you anything.” I glared at a girl walking past, who had the nerve to look me in the eye in that moment.

“Okay, jeez, fucking relax,” Dani said.

“I need some air. Find yourself a man already, so I don’t have to go to the fucking football game with you. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I weaved my way through the crowd to the front door.

What had I expected? Dani’s parents had split when she was thirteen, after her dad cheated on her mom. I knew she wouldn’t approve, but I had underestimated how intense her reaction would be.

I stepped outside and shivered. It was August, but fall was already in the air. I walked a few blocks down the street and sat on the steps outside a cute little house—the kind I’d always hoped I’d buy with Quinn, to grow old in.

“Fuck you and your questions, Dani,” I muttered to no one. Did I want to sleep with Carson again? All the muscles below my waist tensed at the thought, and I had my answer. What the hell was wrong with me? How could I want something so bad when it meant throwing away everything I already had?

No one has to know, a devilish little voice in the back of my head chimed in. I shook my head to dispel the thought.

“No, I love Quinn. I want to be with him. That’s it. I’m happy. I’m not doing this.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself of something you’re not sure of.” I jumped and looked up. A homeless man was standing on the sidewalk in front of me. I wondered how long he had been standing there, listening to me talk to myself.

“Life’s too short to be questioning yourself, princess,” he said.

“What if you want the wrong thing?” I asked.

“I just follow the wind, lady … I don’t got all the answers,” he mumbled and shuffled on down the sidewalk. I laughed and shook my head. Had I had really expected to get answers to all my life’s questions from a bum? I pushed myself up from the step and walked back to the bar.

Dani was still alone at our table when I returned, two drinks in front of her.

“I wasn’t sure you were coming back,” she said as I approached.

“We’ve still got to find you a date. I couldn’t leave yet.”

“I’m not sorry for what I said—you know how I feel about cheating—but know that I’ll always love you. I don’t want to hear about your affair though. Leave me out of it.”

“I’m not having an affair.” She raised her eyebrow at me like she wasn’t sure she believed me. I wasn’t sure I believed me. It should’ve been easy to just walk away and never see Carson again, but every time I thought about it, the urge to be with Carson again grew stronger, right alongside the guilt I had for betraying Quinn.

“Good, I don’t want to have to beat the shit out of you,” she said finally. I laughed.

“Like you could,” I taunted.

“Oh, I definitely could.” She stretched up so she was a little taller, but even in her super high heels she was still a couple inches shorter than me. At five-foot-seven, I made Dani look like a shrimp.

“I actually believe you.” I took a sip of the drink Dani had ordered me— gin and tonic, one of our favorites.

“So did you talk to any guys while I was gone?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

“All the guys here are douches.”

“How do you know that if you don’t talk to them?”

“I just know.”

“Come on, you said you’d try!”

“I put on a dress and heels. What else do you expect from me?”

“I mean, you look hot, but you might actually have to talk to someone if you are going to take them to a football game. It is a four-hour event where you are going to have to do at least some talking.”

“I’d rather take you. I don’t have to be all fake and stupid with you; you like me even when I’m a moody bitch.”

“You’re right, maybe you shouldn’t talk to guys … you might scare them all away.”

She just rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink.

“If I go to the game, will you leave me alone about it?” I asked. “For the next five years.”

“Two,” she countered.

“Three.”

“Two, and I’ll buy all the snacks and beer at the game,” she said. I thought about it for a second, and then stuck out my hand.

“Deal.” I’d had worse dates in my life; spending a few hours with Dani at a football game couldn’t be that bad. She didn’t shake my hand, but instead jumped up and down—an impressive feat in her heels—and then came around the table to hug me.

“Yay! I’m seriously so excited. I’m going to teach you some of the rules this year, and then you’ll actually like it.”

“Don’t make me change my mind. I’ve been groomed to “like” football since I was a toddler; if it hasn’t happened already, it’s not going to happen.”

“Okay, got it, no rules.”

We fell into a rare, awkward silence, full of unspoken words about my actions and how Dani felt about them. I twirled the ice around in my now empty glass, the cubes clinking together. I popped a half-melted cube in my mouth and crunched down on it. Dani winced.

I lifted my glass to get another cube, but Dani reached over and pushed my hand back down to the table.

“Stop, that is so bad for your teeth.” Dani grabbed my empty glass and shook it in the waiter’s direction, letting him know we needed refills. “I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to ruin our night out.”

“You didn’t ruin it,” I sighed. “I did.”

“You know we’ll always be friends, right? No matter what you do, I’ll always love you.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“Who cares? Your mom is awesome. Chicks who like football have to stick together.”

“Did you just call my mom a chick?” Our eyes met, and we burst out laughing. And just like that, all the tension left, and we were just two best friends having a good time out on the town. I finally stopped laughing and wiped the tears from my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said.

“For what?”

“Being you and putting up with all my shit.”

“The feeling is mutual, lady.” She raised her glass, and we toasted to our friendship. We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing about nothing. It was almost three AM when I stumbled into the apartment and dropped my keys on the floor. I swore and hoped the loud crash didn’t wake up Quinn. I pulled off my clothes and crawled in bed. I wrapped my arms around Quinn and snuggled my head into his back. I breathed him in; the faint smell of his body wash filled my nose, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

“I love you, Quinn,” I whispered and hoped I hadn’t ruined everything.