I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself for a long time before I got in the shower. My eyes were red and swollen from crying, matching my swollen lips from kissing Carson. I still looked like the same Chloe, but I felt like a totally different person. I had always imagined people who cheated on their spouses were in unhappy, sexless marriages. I was wrong. Here I was, with the marriage and relationship I’d always wanted, but had still cheated.

God, how did I let this happen? I was weak and pathetic for letting Carson just waltz right in here and do whatever he wanted. Somewhere in the back of my head, a little voice taunted me: you wanted it too. Damn it, I did. And I wanted it again and again and again. Fucking Carson was so different than Quinn; it was raw and animalistic, and unlike anything I’d ever experienced.

But it didn't matter … there could be no more threesomes, definitely no more cheating, and no more Carson. I stayed in the shower until the water was cold, wishing it could somehow wash away my sins.

When I finally opened the bathroom door and looked around, Carson was gone. Thank God. As I was changing, I noticed the big red mark on my ass from where Carson had slapped me, and I hoped it didn’t leave a bruise. There was no way I would be able to explain that to Quinn.

As I was brushing my hair, my brother, Derek, called.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hey Chloe, how’s it going?”

Just cheated on my husband, no big deal. “Work has been busy; we are getting the new winter women’s line ready to launch in a week or so.”

“Oh how exciting,” I could tell even through the phone he was rolling his eyes. Derek and I were only 18 months apart and had always been really close.

“Hey we can’t all be police officers out there saving people every day,” I replied.

He laughed and told me his wife, Adrienne, was pregnant again and we talked about all the things that had happened since we last talked, while I picked up my discarded clothing off the floor and started a load of laundry. We talked about the boys and their latest shenanigans, before I congratulated him on the new baby and hung up.

I laid down on the couch and turned on reruns of Sex and the City, but it wasn’t long before I dozed off.

---

A door closing somewhere in the distance jarred me from my sleep. I bolted upright to see where the sound had come from. Quinn was standing by the front door, sorting the mail with his back to me. I yawned and stretched.

“Hey babe,” I said through my yawn.

“Oh hey.” He turned around. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s no big deal. I didn’t actually mean to fall asleep.” He walked over and kissed me.

“How was the show?” I asked.

“It was good. Everyone is pretty stoked for the season to get started. What have you been up to?”

“Oh, nothing much. I went to yoga this morning.” Fucked your best friend on our couch. “Got caught up on some work emails, then fell asleep watching TV. Nothing exciting.”

My mind flashed back to just a few hours ago, my ass still tender from Carson’s hand. I clenched my thighs and shook my head as if that would help get rid of the memory. “What’s wrong?” Quinn asked.

“Oh, nothing, I just got a chill,” I lied. Quinn linked his fingers with mine and changed the channel to ESPN, and less than five minutes later, his eyes closed and his breathing evened out as he dozed off. I stared at him intently, studying the lines of his face, the muscular curve of his jaw, his slightly curly brown hair, his pouty pink lips, and felt incredibly sad. Part of me wanted to wake him up right now, tell him what had happened, and beg for forgiveness. Another part of me wanted to bury this secret so deep inside me no one would ever find it. I couldn’t tell him. It would break his heart.

My phone pinged from the coffee table. I put it on silent before opening the text.

Damn it, she was nosy. I wasn’t telling her either—couldn’t drag her into this.

I didn’t need twenty questions from Dani right now, so before she could answer, I sent her another message.

That was easy enough. I could always distract Dani with food. I decided to run down to the bakery and get some fresh bread to go with dinner while Quinn was napping. I left a note on the fridge and walked the few blocks there.

When I got back, Quinn was awake and watching Conair for the millionth time.

“How many times are you going to watch this?” I asked.

“It’s a classic … you can’t watch it too many times.”

“If you say so,” I said and started getting dinner ready.

Twenty minutes later, the kitchen smelled like fresh baked bread, garlic, and spaghetti sauce. Just before I pulled the bread out of the oven, the doorbell rang, and Quinn looked around, almost startled by the sound.

“It’s just Dani.” I wiped my hands on a towel and opened the door for her.

“Hey,” she said, holding up two bottles of wine.

“Make yourself at home, dinner is almost ready.”

“You should have told me Dani was coming; I would’ve invited Carson too,” Quinn said without looking up from the TV.

“Oh, I didn’t think about it,” I said, my voice sounding weird and nervous. Dani raised her eyebrow at me, like she knew something had happened without me even telling her. I just shrugged.

She plopped down on the couch beside Quinn and started pestering him with football questions.

“So, who is Oregon’s new quarterback? Why won’t they just tell us already?”

Dani was more into football than any other girl I’d ever met, and the Ducks were her team. Poor Quinn, she was going to badger him until he gave up any information he had.

Quinn just laughed.

“You know I don’t know either. They don’t tell that stuff to the media weeks in advance and expect us to keep it a secret. When I know, you’ll know,” he said.

She rolled her eyes. “Riiigghhtt, and they haven’t dropped any subtle clues about who it might be?”

“Not that I’ve picked up on.” Quinn’s smile revealed he actually did know something but wasn’t going to say. I shook my head and turned back to dinner. Those two could talk football all night long.

“Dinner is ready,” I announced five minutes later.

“Chloe, will you please go to a game with me this year?” Dani begged as she loaded pasta, chicken, and sauce onto her plate.

“Why do you ask me every year when you already know the answer?”

“Please! There are tons of cute guys there. I need a wingman.” The last thing Dani needed was a wingman; she was a smoking hot blonde who knew more about football than most guys I knew. Any man in his right mind would want her.

“I will be worse than useless as wingman at a football game.” I snorted. “I’d probably make you look bad by yelling at the wrong player or something.”

“You’re probably right, but still, I don’t want to go alone, and I already have tickets,” she said, like it was a done deal. “Plus, you’ve got to know something about the Oregon account with Nike … people are into that stuff.”

“If by people you mean girls whose boyfriends or husbands or crazy best friends have dragged them to football games against their will, then you are right.” I laughed. “Guys don’t give a shit about what color combination the uniforms are going to be this week.”

“That’s not true,” Quinn piped in. “The ones that are all forest green are terrible.” Dani tilted her head in Quinn’s direction as if to say, see I told you so. “I personally like the ones that look like they have duck wings on the shoulder pads.”

“You know that is almost all of them, right?” I said. Quinn shrugged and Dani laughed.

“I have a better idea … we’ll go to bar, and I’ll help you pick up a guy, and then you can take him to the game instead,” I said, as we sat down at the table on the patio.

“How about this? I’ll go out with you, and if we don’t find me a date for the game, then you have to go with me,” Dani said. “Deal?”

“Deal, but you have to actually try to meet a guy.”

“Yeah, sure … whatever,” she said noncommittally and stuffed her mouth full of chicken and pasta so she couldn’t talk anymore. Quinn laughed.

“What?” I asked him.

“Nothing,” he said. “You two are just funny.” It had taken Quinn a while to warm up to Dani when we’d met. He told me more than once that he thought she was a bitch, but that was just Dani. She told it how it was, and sometimes that came across as bitchy, but she was the best friend I’d ever had. I had even told her when I’d started dating Quinn that’d I’d break up with him if they couldn’t be friends too.

“You can’t even say anything,” I said. “You and Carson are a thousand times worse than we will ever be.” My pussy clenched involuntarily at the mention of Carson. Jesus Christ, Chloe get a grip. I wanted to slap myself for letting him have such an effect on me.

“Touché,” Quinn said, raising his fork.

“This is amazing, Chloe,” Dani interjected. “You should cook me dinner more often.”

“You know you’re welcome anytime … and thank you.”

“You guys want more wine?” Quinn asked. Dani and I both nodded as he picked up his empty plate and went inside to get the second bottle. Dani leaned over the table, double checking that Quinn had shut the door.

“Sooo, how was it the other night?” she whispered excitedly.

“Unbelievable.”

“Better than the first?”

“Way better. No nerves, no bullshit. Everyone knew what they were doing … it was awesome.”

“Did you DP?”

“Oh my God!!” I whisper-yelled and turned bright red. “No! What is wrong with you? How big of a slut do you think I am?” The truth was I’d thought about it, wanted to try it, but we weren’t there yet—probably never would be given the current situation. She held up her hands in surrender and nodded her head toward the door to let me know Quinn was coming.

“I had to ask.” She laughed, and then whispered, “And I know you’re a pretty big slut.”

“Gee, thanks.” We both laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Quinn said, returning to the table with the other bottle of wine and a plate full of mini chocolate éclairs he’d gotten out of the freezer.

“Nothing you’d understand,” I said.

“Girls and their inside jokes.” He shook his head and poured everyone more wine.

“It’s better for there to be mystery,” Dani said. “If you knew all our secrets, what fun would that be?”

“It’d be a lot easier than guessing what is going on in your crazy heads,” Quinn responded.

He definitely didn’t want to know what was going on in my head. Guilt and lust wrestled through me. I went back and forth between feeling guilty and wanting to do it again.

“Earth to Chloe.” Dani snapped her fingers in front of my face.

“Hmmm ... what?” I said, looking up at her.

“While you were off in La-la Land, I asked you eight million questions about work.” Her voice was all breathy and exasperated like she’d gone out of her way to talk about my job, and then got all butt hurt when I didn’t respond. “What were you daydreaming about anyway?”

“No daydreaming, just thinking about work actually,” I lied.

“Uh-huh, sure.” It was almost dark on the patio now, and Dani checked her phone for the time. “Oh, I better get going, I’ve got the early shift at the office in the morning.” Dani was an ultrasound tech and especially loved the shifts when she worked at the OB’s office and got to tell all the pregnant mamas if they were having a boy or a girl.

“I’ll walk you out,” I said as we both stood. Quinn told Dani goodbye and lit a cigarette as we went inside.

“What is wrong with you?” she asked when we were in the hallway.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve never seen you so distracted before. And you nearly jumped at any mention of Carson. Don’t think I didn’t notice … I’m a ninja.” She pointed at me. I laughed, but on the inside I was scrambling. I didn’t know what on Earth I was going to tell her.

“Oh, just thinking about the other night,” I said in what had to be the most unconvincing voice ever.

“Lady, when are you going to learn you can’t lie to me?” She pressed the down button to call the elevator.

“I’m not lying,” I said more convincingly this time. Telling her about cheating on Quinn wasn’t an option, so I had to make her believe me. “Between all the threesome drama and shit at work, I’ve got a lot on my mind. I’ll be more attentive next time, I promise.” She looked at me suspiciously, but then the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival.

“I still don’t believe you.”

I started to get on the elevator with her, and she waved me off. “I’m a big girl; I can walk to my car by myself.”

“Well, all right then.” I stepped back off the elevator. “See you Friday.”

“See you later, slut,” she said as the elevator doors started to close. I saw her crack up laughing just as the doors slid together.

“Bitch,” I murmured under my breath, with a smile, as I walked back to our apartment.