Athena
When I came downstairs, Hans was in my kitchen making tea. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, under the circumstances, I’m fine.” I walked over and leaned against the kitchen counter, asking the obvious question, “And how about you? Are you okay?”
He gave me a quick sideways glance and poured the hot water into the pot. “Finn doesn’t seem to like me much,” he said and looked down. “And if I have to be honest, he kinda scares me a little.”
“Yes, Nmen are intimidating,” I agreed.
“Careful, it’s hot.” Hans handed me one of the cups and leaned against the counter next to me. “We were briefed about them, of course, but you can’t really prepare until you meet one of them in person.” He blew down at his teacup and frowned. “I mean it’s confusing to meet someone who speaks English, yet everything that comes out of his mouth is foreign.”
“Are you talking about when he swears?”
“It’s not just that.” Hans looked thoughtful. “His behavior is just so peculiar; I’ve never studied irony and sarcasm in person, and I’m finding it hard to decipher when he’s being serious or not.”
“This might surprise you, but Finn is one of the nicer Nmen.”
Hans’ mouth fell open. “He is?”
“Yes, I met the ruler and his brother, and both seemed a lot more ruthless and volatile than Finn.”
Hans shook his head with a small frown. “How can they live like that? They must be miserable people.”
“Try not to judge what you don’t understand, my friend. The Nmen probably feel the same way about us.”
“My apologies, I was being unkind and unfair; forgive me.” Hans bowed his head.
Lifting my hand to place on his shoulder, I spoke in a soft voice: “There’s nothing to forgive, but if I can give you a piece of advice, it would be to channel your confusion into curiosity.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just that you and I have this unique opportunity to study a man from the North, and rather than being upset by his crudeness, I suggest we explore what else he has to offer. In particular, we should search for anything we might have in common with him.”
Hans took a sip of his tea. “I can’t imagine we have much in common.”
“Are you’re regretting that you took this assignment?”
He shook his head. “No, I just think I was a bit naïve, that’s all.”
“Naïve how?”
“I had this idea that if I showed Finn kindness and friendship he would be grateful and he would want to change. I mean during the briefing they kept reminding us that Nmen aren’t cruel from birth and that there’s no indication that they are less intelligent than us. We can’t blame them for growing up without mothers and families or for not knowing manners or self-reflection.” Hans sighed. “I liked the idea that I could make a difference in Finn’s life and thought he would be happy to find a source of everything he had missed out on.”
“I see.” I took a sip of my tea too. “In that case, yes, that probably was naïve.”
For a moment we stood next to each other in silence.
“I’m certain his motive to be here isn’t to gain more manners, and you can be sure that the Nmen don’t want to be like us,” I said.
Hans knitted his eyebrows closely together. “But why wouldn’t they?”
“They consider themselves to be the last free men and they don’t know anything else than the Northlands.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Free men?” Hans set down his cup. “I’m a man and I’m free.”
“Didn’t you hear Finn mention that women oppress men?” I furrowed my brows. “It’s interesting how we see ourselves as peacekeepers while the Nmen see us as tyrants.”
“Tyrants is a strong word,” Hans said and took a sip of his tea. “But Finn does have a point that women rule the world.”
“Would you rather have it like in the old days?”
Hans held his palm up like a peace sign. “No, no, I’m not complaining.” But he didn’t look at me when he spoke and I got an uneasy feeling from him.
I set down my cup and changed the subject. “We’ll have to figure out who sleeps where.”
Hans looked around my living room and pointed to the stairs. “Do you have more bedrooms than the one Finn sleeps in?”
“I’m afraid not. One of us will have to sleep in the bed next to Finn and the other one on the couch.”
“Can I take the couch?” Hans asked.
I exhaled deeply. “I had hoped you would take the bed.”
His eyes darted around the room again as if he was looking for an excuse. “It’s just that this project of yours is about imitating what happened between you and Finn. Wouldn’t it be strange if I got in the middle of that?”
“Not at all. As long as Finn experiences the loss of control, I really don’t think it matters who he sleeps next to.”
Hans rubbed his forehead. “But I’m not as tough as you are and if he asks me to untie him, I probably will.”
“All right.” I sighed. “I’ll sleep next to him tonight, but that doesn’t mean I’ll sleep next to him every night while he’s here.”
After helping Hans find blankets and pillows, I left him to go upstairs again, hoping that Finn was already asleep.
He wasn’t.
“I don’t like being tied,” he muttered when I walked past him to use the bathroom.
Against my helpful nature, I forced myself to give him a slight shrug and answered calmly. “Neither did I.”
I took longer than usual in the bathroom, hoping that maybe he would fall asleep while I was in there. This arrangement had seemed simpler in my mind, but then again, I’d never truly expected Finn to agree to giving me control of him for five days.
You’re lying to him. The blaming voice of my internal conscience made me avoid looking at myself in the mirror.
There’s no curse and you should tell him. Lying is wrong.
Opening and closing my fists, I shut my eyes and did my breathing exercise, seeking inward for the calm and peaceful core of my spirit.
My training to be a priestess had started when I was only twelve and since then I’d studied theology, philosophy, and anthropology among other things. The high priestess I had trained with had taught me about energy work and now I always anchored myself at least twice a day.
When I first told Hans that I was keeping Finn for five days, he had objected and explained to me that they had a busy schedule to follow. It wasn’t until he called up Isobel, the chairwoman of the Council, herself, that permission had been granted. Isobel hadn’t understood why I would want to spend more time with Finn, but she had accepted my request and that was all that mattered.
It was hard enough for me to understand my motives, and I wasn’t sure I could explain them to others since spending five more days with Finn made no sense from a rational point of view. Yet, there was an energy-based pull in me, and a need to understand him better. Not to mention that the challenge of helping Finn evolve to our level would be my greatest challenge as a priestess yet.
There was no time to meditate tonight. Still, I was relatively calm when I left the bathroom and climbed into bed next to Finn.
“I can’t sleep like this,” Finn complained, low, but I still turned off the light.
“Athena, I mean it, I can’t sleep like this.”
My back was turned to him and I was on my side. “It’s okay, I didn’t sleep that first night either.”
“I already apologized for that, didn’t I?” Finn rumbled low.
“What about Magni?” I asked. “Do you think he’s remorseful too?”
Finn stiffened and there was a shift in energy in the room that made me turn over to watch him. “What is it about Magni?” I asked. “I remember how you always got quiet when I blamed him for kidnapping me, and now you’re doing it again.”
“That’s not true. When I got here, I specifically told you it was wrong of him to kidnap you,” Finn reminded me.
“Uh-huh, but that’s your words, not his.” I studied him with interest. Finn was ungroomed compared to a Motlander man, but although he
clearly didn’t spend as much time in front of the mirror as someone like Hans, his long curly black hair looked shiny and healthy. And his black earring which covered almost his entire earlobe gave away that he cared about his appearance.
His dark brown eyes narrowed when he turned his face and looked at me. “If you’re hoping for an apology from Magni, you better prepare to wait forever. He’s not that kind of man.”
“Then what kind of man is he?” I asked with a soft voice.
Finn broke our eye contact and focused on the ceiling.
“I can see you don’t want to talk about him, but what he did to me was awful and I would like you to acknowledge that.”
Finn stubbornly kept his gaze on the ceiling and pulled at the ropes above his head. “I already did!”
“Saying the words is different from meaning them, and I don’t believe your apology was very sincere at all. You just want me to break the curse.”
Finn’s chest rose and fell in a deep sigh. “I said I was sorry, and that’s the best I can do. If you’re looking for someone to speak badly about Magni, then I’m not your man. Magni is my best friend and I’m indebted to him.”
That sentence had me instantly interested. “Indebted how?”
“It’s personal, but I’ll tell you this much: he saved me when we were boys.”
“In what way?”
Finn ran his tongue over his teeth but kept quiet.
“Did Magni save your life?”
Finn didn’t confirm it, but he didn’t deny it either.
“He did, didn’t he?” I probed, and the way his jaw tensed as if annoyed that I’d guessed his secret made me sure. “Now you have me curious. How did Magni save your life?”
Finn tugged at the ropes again with another annoyed huff of air. “I really don’t like being tied.”
“That’s too bad, because you’ll be tied again tomorrow night.”
His head whipped in my direction. “What the fuck! I only tied you down one night.”
“True, but your second night will be for the fear I endured.”
“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you tie me down two nights in a row.”
“Look at the bright side,” I suggested. “At least you know that in five days it’s all over, and you’ll never have to see me again. I didn’t have that comfort, did I?”
Finn groaned and perspiration showed on his forehead. “I told you,” he sneered. “I don’t fucking like to be tied.” Every word was spoken with an anger that unnerved me.
Stay strong, this is for his spiritual growth, I reminded myself.
“Good night, Finn.” Stretching my arms with a big yawn, I rolled over to position myself with my back to him, when he muttered:
“Good night, witch.”