Finn
When I was twelve, showering was my daily nightmare. Being one of the smallest boys at my age and not yet close to going into puberty, the other boys teased me that I was feminine because of my large expressive eyes and long lashes. I hated it; not least when they came up with the nickname Finny.
I wanted to beat them up but I wasn’t the best fighter either, and got beaten badly the few times I tried standing up for myself.
Doomed to be the underdog, I honed my two assets into a shield and learned to use my quick brain and my humor to distract their attacks.
It worked with the boys, but it didn’t work with our mentor Johnson. The man was a sadistic son of a bitch who took pleasure in hurting us.
Somehow I was unfortunate enough to make it to his list of preferred targets and that’s when the nightmare really began.
“Why are you being so quiet?” Athena’s question brought me back from my trip down memory lane and I came up with a lie on the spot.
“Ah, you know, I was just thinking about all the birthday gifts I’ve missed out on over the years.”
Athena studied me and put down the book she’d been reading. We sat on opposite ends of the sofa while Hans was outside doing something he called t’ai chi. He had invited me to do it with him but after five minutes I ran out of patience. The man moved in slow motion like a human turtle. It was so ridiculous that I gave up and went to poke at Athena to get her to work faster on lifting the curse. She told me she was reading about it and asked me to be quiet, which was when the memories got the better of me.
“When is your birthday?” she asked.
“September seventeenth,” I answered. “Which makes me thirty-four years, one month, and one day old.”
“Congratulations.” Athena smiled. “And if you were to wish something for your birthday, what would it be?”
“A cake with my name on it sounds good. And if you’re open to fulfilling wishes, I wouldn’t mind an hour with you naked in bed.” I flashed my teeth in a hopeful smile.
“A cake it is,” Athena said and stood up. “Do you like chocolate?”
“Who doesn’t?” I watched her rummage around the small kitchen. “Are you really going to bake me a cake?”
“I am.”
“I would have settled for a kiss, you know,” I joked.
“A cake was the first thing you mentioned and I’m happy to give you what was on the top of your list,” Athena said with her back to me.
“In that case, can I change it to sex at the top and cake as number two?”
“No.”
“Ahh, so if I’d said sex first and cake second, you’d still be baking me a cake?” I asked with a flirtatious grin.
“What is your obsession with sex, Finn?” Athena asked while mixing ingredients. “Is it really all you think about?”
“Pretty much,” I lied. “Don’t you?”
Athena stopped for a minute and once again I got the eerie feeling that she was looking inside my brain. “If you could choose between making love to one woman for the rest of your life versus sleeping with a new woman every night, what would you choose?”
“That’s easy,” I said. “I would choose a new woman every night. What man wouldn’t?”
Athena frowned, but she didn’t challenge me on it further, and I didn’t tell her that making love was out of my reach. A knot formed in my chest thinking about my friends at home with their wives. I was happy for them but also aware that forming the kind of bond they shared with their wives required an openness that I could never afford. The minute I let anyone see into the ugliness of my past they’d see me for the dirty, disgusting person I really was.
Hans walked in with Bast almost tripping him up because the mean cat ran between his legs. I’m sure the cat did it on purpose.
“Ouch,” Hans shouted when the cat planted a claw in his leg as a payback for his stepping on its tail.
“That’s what you get for naming your cat Beast,” I teased Athena. “A demon cat who attacks your visitors.”
“I’m not a witch and Bast is a friendly cat.”
I moved my hand to imitate a puppet speaking and it made Athena point a spatula at me. “I’m not going to turn you into a toad after you threatened to suffocate me in my sleep, but I might poison the cake and turn you into a rat or something.”
“A rat?” I wrinkled my nose. “I could still kill you if I was a rat.”
She tilted her head. “You’re going to crawl down my throat again?”
“No, but I could bite you and infect you with all sorts of disgusting rat diseases.”
“Well, I never liked rats to begin with, so I’ll have to think of another animal.”
“You do that.” I grinned and directed my attention to Hans. “Hey, Hansi, my sparkling turtle, come sit here and watch Athena make me a cake.”
“You’re making a cake?” Hans asked her.
“I’m starting to regret it, but yes, I’m making Finn a birthday cake to compensate for all the birthdays he has missed out on.”
“I love cake,” Hans said and plunked down on the sofa looking at me. “What did you mean about sparkling turtle?”
“Just that your make-up sparkles and you move like a turtle when you do that t’ai chi thing.”
“It’s supposed to be slow and fluid and it’s much harder than it looks,” Hans defended himself. “It’s really a type of martial art, you know.”
I grinned. “You’re kidding, right? Is the tactic to bore your opponent to death?”
Hans ignored my joke and kept promoting his love for t’ai chi. “It’s an effective means of alleviating stress and anxiety. And I think it would be really good for you.”
“Why?”
“Because it promotes serenity and inner peace,” Hans claimed. “You could consider it a form of meditation in motion and since you don’t like to be still, maybe yoga or t’ai chi would be better for you.”
I shook my head with exaggeration. “What? And miss out on my bonding with Athena? No way.”
Hans opened his mouth to speak but closed it again and gave a shrug of resignation.
“Look, Athena, while you bake my cake, and Hans rests after his exhausting martial arts program,” I said and got up from the couch, “I’ll go for a run.”
Already halfway to the door, I stopped when Athena said one word in a soft tone. “No.”
“No?” I turned to face her in a slow motion. “What do you mean no?”
“I decide what you can and cannot do. And running isn’t on the program.”
“Fine. Then can I at least get something to eat?” I grumped. “I haven’t had anything today but that apple Karina offered me.”
“There’s some leftover broccoli pie from yesterday in the cooler,” Athena said in a casual manner and it only made me grumpier.
“And you’re only telling me this now? Why didn’t you offer me the pie this morning?
“Must have slipped my mind,” she said like it was no big thing.
“You should have mentioned that you had pie in your fridge,” I told her.
“I have pie in my fridge,” Athena said with a shrug. When I still gave her the stink eye, she tilted her head. “It’s a curious thing that you’re much more eager to discuss why I didn’t tell you about the pie than you are to actually eat the pie.”
“Oh, I’ll eat the damn pie,” I said and went to locate it.
“Do you want me to warm it up for you?” Athena offered, but my stomach had heard the talk about food and was craving something right now. Shaking my head, I searched for a knife and cut a large piece that I gulped down. It wasn’t bad, and another piece followed.
“Since I’m not allowed to go for a run, would you mind telling me what I can do?” I asked Athena when I finished filling my stomach. Her answer had me groaning with frustration.