December

 

 

 

I stood up on my tiptoes to add the last gold ornament to the tree before stepping back to admire my work.

Tree number three was complete.

We had one in the living area, one in the dining room, and one for Charm’s room. I was just debating whether or not to go out and look for seven smaller trees to place in the other biker’s rooms when I heard the door slam downstairs, along with an exclaimed, “Holy fuck, Neve!”

So, I may have gone a bit overboard, but it was my first holiday sober. Amber had talked me into wrapping the banister in garland, claiming that it would give the lodge a cozy Christmas feel. From the sounds coming from downstairs, I was going to have some explaining to do.

The bedroom door opened and Charm strode in, shedding his leather vest on his way over to me. “Honey?”

I plastered a large smile onto my face as I stood in front of the tree, hoping it would convince him that the decorations were a necessity. “Yes?”

The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly, although it was obvious that he was trying to fight it. “Looks like you went shopping today…”

I nodded, refusing to give anything away.

He scratched at his beard. “And we needed all of these decorations why?”

“Because of Christmas. Did you know that you’re standing under mistletoe right now? And mistletoe is actually an interesting thing to kiss under, considering—”

“Considering that it’s a parasite that drains its host dry? Yeah, that doesn’t exactly scream romance.”

I stood there, dumbfounded. “You know that? How?”

He gave up the fight and let the grin take over his face. “Oh, honey. I read it in a book. A man has to find ways to keep up with you. Now tell me, do you know why people kiss under the mistletoe?”

I crossed my arms over my chest cockily and opened my mouth just as I realized that I had no idea. For the first time in quite some time, I was stumped. “Well, it’s because of—I mean, everyone knows about the thing…”

“Right. Come here.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his boots before gesturing for me to join him.

I climbed onto his lap. “Alright, Mighty Bringer of Knowledge, why do people kiss under the mistletoe?”

“Well, it goes back to Norse mythology. Baldr, son of Odin, dreamed of his own death. Turns out, his mother, Frigg, also dreamed of his death. She was afraid that it was prophetic and made every object vow to never come against her son.

“Well, every object obeyed, except for mistletoe. Loki, the trickster god, used that to his advantage. He fastened it to a spear and handed it over to Baldr’s brother, who inadvertently used it against Baldr, killing him. Luckily, the gods were able to resurrect him and Frigg declared mistletoe a symbol of love and vowed to bestow a kiss on all those who passed beneath it.” His gruff voice lulled me into a relaxed state and I settled my head against his shoulder.

“So, because some god’s wife decreed it, a parasite that killed her son is now a symbol of love?” Mythology had always perplexed me. I think it had something to do with the fact that none of it was rooted in science.

Charm pressed a kiss against the top of my head. “I think you’re supposed to take away that love can conquer anything, including death.”

I slid off of his lap and back onto his bed—our bed— with a yawn. I hadn’t slept in my room since before the gathering. We’d slipped into a routine over the past couple of months—and the funny thing was that none of the guys seemed to care. The morning after the party, Charm announced that he’d claimed me and that was it.

In biker code, I guess it meant I was off-limits and no one was to mess with me. My relationship with the other bikers had gone on, much like it had before. They were like older brothers; always teasing, yet making sure that I knew I was safe with them.

Everything else was the same—except, at the end of the day, I fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved. It was a strange thing, being in love. While I’d seen Charm angry plenty over the past few months, he seemed happier when he was with me. The other men noticed it too—so much so, that Rooster began calling me Charm’s ‘Xanax.’

If he was upset, they’d come find me and send me down to him. His face would light up and his body would relax the minute I entered the room. I swore I could visibly see the tension as it left his body.

He valued my input too. He started coming to me with the club books, asking me for help. I still didn’t know exactly what the club dealt in, but he and I had become a team of sorts.

I think he knew that I loved him, but I wanted the first time I told him to be special. I was kind of hoping that I’d come up with something spectacular while it was just the two of us over the next couple of days. The other bikers were going to be riding down to the Springs to help out another MC that had just lost their Prez. From what I’d gathered from the other bikers, they were considering bringing them on.

I rolled onto my side, facing him. “What do you want to do tomorrow? Pearl said we should check out the Parade of Lights over in Cedar Ridge. Have you ever been?”

Charm pulled his shirt over his head and I was momentarily distracted. He lay back with a sigh and stroked my hair. “About that—I think I’m gonna have to go with the guys. We just absorbed the Hell’s Horsemen and Blade thinks it wouldn’t look good to the other MC if I don’t show. You could come with us though, baby.”

A wave of disappointment crashed over me, but I gave him a small smile. I’d been looking forward to dominating every second of the Scarred Savages Prez’s time; I wanted to act like a normal couple, even if it was just for a couple of days. I nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. We don’t want anyone getting cold feet.”

He stopped stroking my hair. “So, you’ll ride out with us? Twitch and Joker are out on a run until tomorrow night and Axel can hold the place down until then.”

I shook my head and stretched. It was late and all my decorating had left me zapped. “It’s freezing outside. If some of the guys are going to be around, I think I’ll just stay back and make sure they don’t destroy the place. You’ll only be gone for a few days, right?”

His mouth flattened into a thin line and he nodded. “No more than three. You’ll stay with the guys? No going into town on your own?”

I frowned. “I always go into town on my own,” his jaw tightened and I amended, “But I will absolutely not do that while you’re away.”

Charm shifted and took my hands in his. “You’ll be safe; Joker and Twitch will be back early tomorrow night and you’ve got your phone so I expect a phone call the minute they get back.” He moved off of the bed and began pacing. “Screw it—I’m fuckin’ taking you with me, honey.”

I reached for his hand and pulled him back onto the bed, resting my forehead against his. “You can’t drag me along for club business like this and you know it. Trust me, with the way your accounts are, I have plenty to do. When do you leave?”

He glanced over at the clock on the nightstand and sighed. “Gonna ride out in a couple of hours—we’ve got some club business to take care of before we head down.”

I didn’t ask and he wouldn’t have told me if I had. In cases like this, ignorance was bliss.

I got up and changed into the oversized sweatshirt he’d given me during my first week and settled in under the covers with him. “Go—the sooner you go, the sooner you can come back to me.”

He exhaled a low growl, but didn’t argue. Instead, he pressed a soft kiss against my lips. “I’ll be back as soon as it’s done.”

I nodded and snuggled up against his warm body. He’d be close to me for a few more hours and I was going to take advantage of every second.

The numbers ran together on the computer screen and I sat back to rub my fatigued eyes. I’d been sitting in Charm’s study for the better part of the day, but the books were still a long way from being perfect.

Everything was labeled as shipment or load, nothing specifying what it was they were moving and receiving daily. Regardless, it was easy enough to work through.

I’d found a small package wrapped up and waiting for me when I awoke this morning. It was Death by Black Hole by Neil deGrasse Tyson. The note attached to the top brought a grin to my face.

I’d give myself another ten minutes here and then I was going to be curling up in the overstuffed armchair in the den to devour this book.

The back door slammed and I glanced at the clock on the bottom of the screen—it was only four.

“Twitch?” I called out as I stood up.

It had taken me a while, but I’d successfully tracked him down the morning after the biker gathering. He’d been sitting out on the back patio, staring blankly into the woods and without a word, I’d climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

“I’m so sorry,” I’d whispered and he’d nodded, before holding me tighter.

We didn’t talk about it after that—I didn’t want to do anything that would lead to a relapse for him.

There was no answer so I assumed it was Joker. I walked out into the hallway, but the house remained silent.

“Guys?”

The hair on my arms stood up as I got to the back door and looked out. There was no one there.

“Hey, Neve.”

I jumped and spun around, ready to fight. He was sitting on the arm of the couch as if he belonged. “Blade? How did you get in here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Charm?”

Something was wrong—had there been an accident? If so, why was he not panicking?

He shrugged calmly. “I picked the lock. I thought we needed some time to talk; one on one.”

My heart beat out a steady warning and adrenaline coursed through my veins. “You can’t be here—the guys will be back any second. They’ll kill you.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Now that’s not exactly true, is it? We run an empire together—he got weapons and I got the drugs.”

No.

My legs began to buckle beneath me. It couldn’t be—it made no sense. He’d lost his sister to a drug overdose; he ran the club differently to ensure it never happened again.

How could he?

I noticed the small mirror on the table near the couch and my feet instinctively took a step closer, even as my brain urged me to run. Addiction was incredibly naïve—I knew next to nothing about this biker; only that he’d given me a bad feeling the last time I encountered him, but with a pile of snow poured out on the table, all my misgivings suddenly disappeared. “What is all this?”

He pointed to the lines of powder and grinned. “It’s blow, Neve. Surely these bikers haven’t been depriving you. It’s some of the newer stuff I’ve been getting for Charm. Keeps you feeling high for so much longer, without the letdown after.”

My mouth watered; my body suddenly craving a bump. Just a small one—just to remember what it was like. It had been five months.

Twenty-two weeks and four days, to be exact.

3,792 hours.

227,520 minutes.

13,651,200 seconds.

“Neve?” Blade frowned up at me. “You’re fucking spacing out on me—did you already take a hit today?”

I shook my head. “You need to leave. They’ll be back.”

He stood up and came over to me and I cowered against the door frame like a defenseless kitten.

Damn you, Neve.

Blade ran his hand down the side of my head and I froze. His eyes softened. “Don’t be scared of me. I’d never hurt you.” He pointed toward the table with his hand. “Normally, Charm likes to be the first to sample everything, but I’m willing to make an exception. You like it and you can tell him how good it is.”

I wanted to do exactly as he asked; instead, I shook my head from side to side, refusing to make eye contact with him or the coke. It called to me like a siren, but then, I saw Charm’s face in my mind and my body relaxed. He was soon joined by the other bikers and my breathing became steady again. I couldn’t do this to them.

I clearly heard Twitch in my head. “Most of the time, our greatest enemy is staring at us in the mirror…”

I refused to be my own downfall. If I went down that road and began using again, I knew that I would never find my way back again. I’d end up just like Rae.

“Get out.” I raised my voice and pushed Blade away. “I don’t care what deal you think you have with him, but it’s over. He’s not buying your shit. Final answer—and your MC is gone. Scarred Savages don’t deal in drugs.”

Blade clenched his hands into fists and exhaled slowly. “Neve, I don’t deal with club whores or ol’ ladies, so your word means shit to me. I don’t give a flying fuck how many of these pricks you’re fucking. Your pussy disqualifies you from having an opinion.” He shook his head maniacally, as if trying to revert back to the nice guy he’d been a moment before. “No, it’s fine,” he muttered before taking a step forward, punching the wood paneled wall with a loud roar. “FUCK! Did you give them the money?”

I took another step backward, stumbling in the process. I was going to have to run…again. Unfortunately, Blade was on top of me before I could regain my footing. I pushed and clawed his face as I struggled underneath him and he brought his fist down against my cheek; violently crunching the bone.

My head swam in confusion and I attempted to fight him off again as he dragged me across the floor. Black spots danced in my vision long enough to stun me as he slammed my face against the surface of the coffee table.

He gripped my arm in a tight hold, squeezing until I was certain the bone would snap and in my agony, I made the mistake of sucking in a ragged breath, inhaling the line of coke beneath my cheek instead. I immediately coughed and spluttered, trying to expel it, but it was too late.

Charm.

I’d let him down.

“Shhhh…it’ll feel good in a minute, Neve,” Blade said quietly. “I wanted you to get a taste of the good stuff, but I gotta be honest here, I thought you’d be down to snort it. When did you get too good for it? Every time I visited Clint, you were always so strung out; I could’ve fucked you and you never would’ve known.”

My heart began beating faster and faster—not only from the snow, but because I recognized his voice. He was the one who’d driven the knife into my side and left me to bleed out on the floor. I wanted to run, but the high was indescribable. Within seconds, the pain and fear in my head were replaced by euphoria.

I didn’t care.

Everything was okay.

As if testing his theory about fucking me against my will, Blade’s hands roamed across my breasts and belly before he reached down and cupped between my legs. I was blissfully numb to all of it. “You feel so fucking good. You let that motherfucker, Charm, inside of you—maybe I should take a turn. After all, you belong to me now.”

My limbs were made of Jell-O, but I summoned enough energy to spit in his face. “I belong to me, asshole.” The words were heavy on my tongue and I was beginning to feel different; not at all like I’d ever felt before. It was as if I was hovering just above the floor, defying gravity.

Blade wiped the spittle off his cheek and smiled down at me. “Do you know how much work I’ve put into getting what I deserve? That money was meant for me. It was always going to end up in my hands. Once they were gone, I just had to eliminate you.”

My breathing grew shallower as I stared through him and toward the ceiling. “What m-money?”

He rocked back on his heels near my head, pulling his hand free from the waistband of my sweatpants. “You’re shitting me, right? The fucking life insurance money, Neve. The inheritance they promised you—all of it. It’s mine and I’ve come to collect.”

I kept waiting for the feeling of invincibility to hit as it always did after a bump, but I was becoming weaker as the seconds ticked on. “I don’t know about the money,” I panted in short little bursts.

“Did you really think the fire was an accident? Clint got in deep with me; swore that he’d pay every dime back. I gave him a deadline and all of a sudden, he wanted to take you to visit your folks. I was prepared to cap him until I looked into it—you were the only child of two very rich fucks. Not only would Clint be able to pay me back; I was going to come out of it a very wealthy man.

“He called me up three days in to tell me that all of the money was tied up in stocks and real estate though. I simply pushed him in the right direction—a little something extra in everyone’s drinks—and the whole thing was set in motion. I wasn’t worried about the coroner finding Ambien in their systems—they both had prescriptions for it. Apparently, knowing that your daughter is strung out a few states away makes it hard to sleep at night.”

I sucked in a shallow breath as tears ran down my face. He’d killed them—he’d taken away the only family I had in the world. For what—money? He’d scarred me physically and emotionally over something that hadn’t even existed.

Blade continued, oblivious to the pain I was in. “Cell phones overheat all the time—I rigged yours for Clint; the plan was for him to hold a pillow over your face until the fire had spread. You were supposed to be unrecognizable—he was going to stick by your side and marry you, making him the heir to their fortune. You’d fade away from your injuries and we’d be free and clear. Apparently, you thrashed around and your boyfriend suddenly grew a goddamned conscience; dragging you outside to safety like some hero.”

I’d blamed myself for that fire—had lived the last year with the burden of their deaths on my shoulders. And this motherfucker was responsible for all of it. I was filled with rage, yet my body was no longer responding.

When I tried to form a fist with my hand, it was as if my limbs were no longer attached to me. Dizziness swept over me in waves, distorting Blade’s face until it looked as if he was behind a funhouse mirror. My ears began buzzing and I looked at the ceiling expectantly, waiting for the swarm of bees to materialize.

A window broke near the front of the clubhouse and Blade reluctantly moved away from my body to investigate. I tried to swallow the saliva in my mouth, but my throat had suddenly gone numb and I panicked when, instead of a clear breath, I began gurgling.

My eyes teared up as I struggled and fought for my next breath. My body, sensing that I was choking, forced the contents of my stomach out, but I couldn’t turn my head and ended up vomiting onto myself. I was going to die, lying on the floor of the clubhouse. This would be what Charm would find when he got home.

He would think I went back to it.

Just like his sister.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and realized it was Axel. He didn’t hesitate to roll me to my side, pounding on my back until I managed a weak breath.

“Fucking hell, Neve. I gotta get you out of here. The alarm tripped at our facility over on Main and I didn’t realize until I got there that it was a trap. I drove as fast as I fucking could, but he got here first. Do you know what they hit you with?” He spoke in a harsh whisper, trying to keep his presence hidden.

I caught movement over his shoulder and shook my head violently from side to side, doing everything I could to warn Axel.

He’d shaved his head and there were now open sores on his face where it’d once been clear, but I would’ve recognized him anywhere. I knew now, without a doubt, that I hadn’t imagined seeing him at the biker gathering a few months ago.

Clint.

Instead of ambushing Axel, Clint dropped to his knees and brought his hand toward my throat. I wanted to squirm out of his grasp, but I couldn’t get my body to obey me.

“Her pulse is low. We need to move now,” Clint hissed the words before prying my eyelids open. “Neve, baby, stay with me.”

I tried to speak, but the words got stuck to the roof of my mouth; so, I shook my head, an act that required every bit of my focus.

Why was he here?

And why was he trying to help me?

“What was she dosed with?”

Clint patted my hair, ignoring Axel’s question. “Neve, we’re going to get you out of here, I promise. I was strung out on some bad shit the last time and I got paranoid. I’m done—no more playing Blade’s games.”

Axel looked between us, clearly puzzled by Clint’s confession. “You know what? It doesn’t matter—surely Doc has Narcan lying around. We just need to get enough in you to reverse this shit.” He remained calm and lifted me up gently in his arms, my head lolling back onto his shoulder, while Clint grabbed my legs as they carried me toward the back door.

The two of them navigated the porch steps two at a time, doing their best not to jar my body.

I wanted to remind Axel that Doc kept everything in the basement, but it was getting harder and harder to stay conscious. We moved unevenly across the gravel, as the frigid mountain breeze blew directly into my face, like nature’s own oxygen mask.

“I’ll get you into the truck and then I’ll grab the—” Axel stumbled, but recovered and took another step before I heard the popping sound again and then he fell forward, forcing me out of Clint’s grasp and crushing me under his weight.

He exhaled and blood ran from the corner of his mouth like tears. He forced himself onto his arms before rolling off of me. “Run, Neve. Run and don’t stop.” He wheezed as he inhaled, expelling more blood when he let it out.

The footsteps grew closer, but I couldn’t move any part of my body. Clint tried to untangle himself from the both of us and I wasn’t sure whether it was to offer aid or flee. I also didn’t know what exactly was on that coffee table, but I was willing to bet my left leg it was more than just blow.

Axel held my gaze and I watched, horrified as the life drained from his eyes, until he was staring beyond to something I couldn’t see. He let out a small exhale, but didn’t draw another breath. I wanted to cry out—to scream—anything, but my body remained frozen.

My friend had just been murdered right in front of me.

The footsteps stopped at our feet and then Axel’s body was yanked off of me and thrown aside before Blade fired another two rounds into his skull. “I always hated that fucker.”

If there were any doubts at all, I was now absolutely certain that he was the man who’d been in Clint’s house that night as he leaned down toward me with a menacing smirk. “Not such a high and mighty bitch now that your bodyguard’s gone, are ya?”

Without Axel obscuring my view, I quickly realized why Clint hadn’t run. Blade held the gun on him, keeping him rooted to the spot. I silently willed him to make a break for it, pleading with my eyes. Instead of taking the hint, Clint cried out, “What the fuck did you give her?”

Blade rolled his eyes, but never once lowered his weapon. “I had to force it into her, Clint. She was fighting like a wildcat—you never mentioned how feisty she was. I thought she’d be more willing to tell us where the money was with a little snow in her veins.”

Surprisingly, Clint didn’t back down as he spat, “I’ve told you she doesn’t know where it is.”

Blade ground his teeth together, his jaw popping out as he did it. “And you’ll forgive me if I don’t buy a fucking thing you say right now. We had a deal, you fucked me over. Now, we do things my way.”

Clint held both hands out in front of him, as if he thought it would placate him. “I hear you and I will get you the money, but you fucked the plan when you dosed her with that coke. It’s laced.”

Blade lowered the gun. “What did you just fucking say?”

If I had use of my limbs, I would’ve chosen now to run as both men were completely distracted. As it was, I was forced to lie on the cold hard ground and fight for my next breath.

Clint ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Despite the freezing air, sweat ran down the sides of his face. “Uh, the coke—it was laced with fentanyl.”

Blade’s voice remained calm, but his stance revealed his rage. “Why would my blow be laced, Clint?”

Clint began walking toward him. “You swore to me that we’d get the money and nobody would get hurt—you said you were just going to scare her. You fucking stabbed her, Blade. I finally quit letting you do the thinking and laced your shit. That coke was a one-way ticket to Hell for you, fucker. We need to get Narcan in her. Now.”

Blade’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t know you had it in you. Thing is, I don’t deal with you anymore.” He calmly fired a round right between Clint’s eyes and I tried with all my might to squeeze my eyes shut, but found that it was just one more part of my body no longer under my control.

Clint didn’t have a chance to react—he was dead before he even hit the ground, leaving me completely defenseless against Blade.

All this time, I’d thought that he was after Clint. It had always been me though. And Clint’s plan, while brilliant, didn’t exactly give me a sense of hope that I was going to make it out alive.

The sound of bikes carried through the trees and Blade tugged me up off the ground, dragging me along behind him like a rag doll. “Where’s the money, Neve? Oh, that’s right—you can’t fucking tell me, because he laced the coke with fentanyl. Goddamnit!” He roared the last word and dropped me onto the gravel.

I felt nothing, even as the toe of his boot connected with my abdomen repeatedly. Vomit was forced up again and Blade stopped kicking me long enough to turn me onto my side.

“You fucking bitch—you’re not checking out until I get the money. I’ve been crossed one too many times—Charm ever tell you about how his old man encroached on our territory?

“Dirt bags that had used me for years, suddenly got a better deal with Luck. He’d get ‘em hooked on his shit and off they’d go. He took something of mine, so I destroyed something of his—Rae was already strung out. Lacing her H with Apache was the easiest damn thing I’ve ever done. That fucker knew it was me too; he pulled out and then got himself dead. Guess he never bothered to fill Charm in on that though—dumbass came looking for a fucking partnership before Luck’s body was even cold. It’s funny—guess he’s gonna lose you to Apache too.”

I struggled to piece it all together. The thoughts floated around in the air above me along with a few snow flurries; the words looping together into one long strand of gibberish. I opened my mouth. “Prmmm…”

That wasn’t right.

Blade leaned down. “What’s that, ‘honey?’ You’re gonna have to speak up.”

He didn’t wait for a response before hauling me back into the trees. I labored through another breath as he dug through his pockets, producing a small vial and a syringe. He measured out the liquid and jammed the needle into my thigh.

His teeth clenched together as he watched me struggle for air. Within seconds, the pressure on my chest eased enough for me to take several deep breaths, but something was still off.

The ground beneath me rumbled as the bikes pulled up to the lodge and the leaves began swirling violently in the breeze, as if even they were afraid of what was to come.

“Neve?” Twitch called out as the bike shut off. I knew that he’d seen the broken window and the door left open. His boots moved quickly from the gravel onto the porch steps, but we remained hidden in the trees.

Realizing I only had one shot, I took a deep breath and screamed—using every ounce of air in my lungs to do it.

Blade brought the butt end of his gun down on my forehead and wetness ran down my face, blurring my vision and staining the world red.

“Neve!” Twitch called out as he moved closer, panic evident in his voice.

He’d fix this—if anyone knew what to do, it’d be him.

Blade thrust his palm against my face, covering my mouth and nose in an attempt to keep me quiet and I struggled against him, trying to gain a breath. Just as the edges of my vision began to go dark, he removed it and stood up, firing off a shot.

Twitch let out a groan of pain, before firing back. When Blade raised his gun to let off a second shot, I threw my body into his legs. Exhaustion hit me like a freight train almost immediately, but I had to believe it had saved Twitch.

Blade raised his gun again as a bullet whizzed past us, striking a tree a few feet away. “Fuck!”

He tried to drag me further back into the trees, but I fought him with what little I had left, scrambling to get to my men. Another bullet flew by, grazing his ear, and he roared in frustration before taking off into the trees.

I used my forearms to pull myself toward safety. Joker caught sight of me just as I reached the clearing and I collapsed in relief. When I lifted my head up, a scream burst from my mouth. Twitch was lying on his back, the ground stained red beneath him.

No.

Joker was by my side within seconds, pulling me into his arms, even as his eyes scanned the tree-line. He quickly signed, ‘How many?’ and I managed to hold up one finger before my body began seizing.

My eyes rolled back into my head and then everything went dark.