“Neve.”

I pushed my face deeper into the warmth of my pillow.

“Neve, get up.”

The deep timbre of the voice reluctantly pulled me back to consciousness and I blearily blinked a few times before rolling over. It was still dark.

“Neve.”

I snapped, “I’m up. You expect me to start cleaning when it’s still dark out?”

I shouldn’t have complained. He’d given me my own room last night even though I deserved to sleep outside after my outburst. I’d left them downstairs talking afterward while I fell into bed, exhausted, but I distinctly remembered locking the door behind me when I came in. I should’ve known he would’ve had a key.

“Get up.”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. There was just enough light coming in from the hall for me to make out his silhouette crouched on the side of the bed. “Can I at least pee first? Or is that not allowed?”

Charm chuckled quietly. “I think I can make an exception.”

When I came out of the bathroom, he was still crouched in the same position.

I yawned before asking, “Where should I start? Is there a cleaning cart somewhere downstairs that I could use?”

He stood up slowly and handed me a sweatshirt. “Put this on. You’ll need it. Got you some shoes as well. Size six, right?”

My heart started beating a little faster. “Um, yes. Where are we going?”

He walked past me and stood near the door. “Get your shoes on. We’ll talk outside.”

My heart was hammering wildly in my chest at this point and my eyes were on the verge of welling up with tears. He was going to take me back out into the woods.

After he told me that he’d give me another chance.

That lying sack of—

“Sometime today would be nice, Neve.”

I hurriedly forced my feet into the tennis shoes he’d left and pulled the sweatshirt over my head before following him downstairs. The lodge was deathly quiet.

He was getting rid of me while the other men slept. He’d probably tell them I ran away too.

I forced a sob back and instead continued walking to my imminent death. Charm slowed down enough for me to catch up to him outside, but instead of heading toward the vehicles, he led me down a small path that ran near the back of the lodge, using a small flashlight.

Maybe this was where he took all the mangy dogs to be put down. The thought forced a bubble of hysterical laughter out and Charm turned back to me, swinging the flashlight up toward my face.

“You okay?” I couldn’t see the expression on his face, but I imagined it was one of confusion.

I nodded, blinking through the brightness, and he took a few more steps before stopping near a ledge made of stone.

“What is this?” I’d thought he was taking me back into the woods; not throwing me off of a cliff.

Charm pointed to the stone. “You’ll see. Come here.”

I shook my head and took a step backward. My throat tightened and I rubbed at it, unable to hold back the tears. It was a great time to realize just how much I wanted to live.

“Please don’t hurt me.” I managed to force out and Charm reared back as if I’d slapped him.

“You think I brought you out here to hurt you? Jesus.” He ran a hand roughly over his face. “I just wanted to show you something. Come. Sit.”

He extended his arm and I reluctantly placed my hand in his as he pulled me up onto the ledge. We sat on the cold stones overlooking the darkness. When he wasn’t looking, I dried my tears on the sleeve of the sweatshirt he’d loaned me.

“Do you drink coffee?”

Caught off guard, I stuttered, “I-I-I used to…before—”

He interrupted, saving me from having to explain that once I’d found cocaine, I’d forgotten about my other vices. “I’ll be right back. Stay there.”

I nodded and picked at my fingernails. I still didn’t know why we were sitting outside in the dark, but if he wanted me to stay on this rock, I’d do it.

He came back a few minutes later, carrying an armful of things and had me stand up while he spread a blanket down, before handing me a travel mug of hot coffee. The steam wafted up, hitting my nostrils, and I groaned in pleasure.

The sky had lightened just enough for me to see the strange look he was giving me. “You alright?”

God, he must’ve thought I was a complete basket case. “Yeah, it’s just been so long since I had coffee. I forgot how much I loved even just the smell of it.”

He took a sip from his own mug and looked out over the ledge, before pointing off in the distance. “Watch. Just keep your eyes focused back in this direction.”

As if he planned it, the sky began to turn different shades of purple and pink. He’d woken me up to watch the sunrise. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken the time to watch a sunrise or sunset.

The sky gradually lightened with orange streaks and then there it was. A burst of light broke through the darkness, illuminating the beauty surrounding us. I closed my eyes and let it warm my face, tears sliding silently down my cheeks. It was stunning. When I opened them again, Charm was watching me.

“Are you having cravings?”

I kept my eyes on the sky as I answered him. “A little, but I think I’ve gotten through the worst of it.”

Please let me stay.

Please let me stay.

He nodded, seemingly pleased by my answer. “You feel like you need a fix, come to me or one of the guys.”

Wait—what?

I stared at him in confusion. “And do what exactly?”

He seemed to catch the implication of his own words and his mouth tightened into a flat line. “I just meant that one of us can help you through it. Redirect your focus—take your mind off of it. Shit. You know what I’m trying to say.”

For some reason, the more agitated Charm got, the more amused I became. I tried and failed to hide the smile on my face. “So, if I feel like I want a hit of coke, I should find one of the bikers to sleep with? Is that right?”

He growled and stood up abruptly. “No—fuck. I just meant you might want someone to talk to—keep you like accountable or somethin’. I’m gonna let you stay. I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain though—cooking and cleaning. Are we cl—”

I ignored the pain in my side and threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his massive chest. “Thank you! I won’t let you down, I promise. This is going to be a good thing. You’ll see.”

I was rambling…like usual, and Charm stiffened under my arms before pulling away. “Whatever—don’t you have shit to clean?”

I nodded. “I do. And don’t worry, if I feel like I need a fix, I’ll find a biker to help me ‘work through it.’ Is that right?”

I had to have a screw loose.

Who messed with the guy who’d just offered her refuge?

This chick, obviously.

“Jesus Christ. I’m regretting this already.” He stormed off the ledge and back toward the house as I rolled to my uninjured side, laughing until tears flowed down my face.

I could do this.

I’d made it through AP Calculus my sophomore year of high school. This was going to be a cake walk compared to that.

I pulled the rubber gloves back up to my elbows and forced the bathroom door open again.

Nope.

I couldn’t do it. I was going to have to break my promise to Charm.

These men were disgusting. So far, Rooster’s room was the only one that hadn’t left me dry heaving in the hallway and I still had two more rooms to finish after this one. Mine and Charm’s. At least I knew that one of those would be simple.

I took in the piles of used Kleenex covering the bathroom counter and floor. Looked like I’d made it to Sneezy’s room, and the man apparently wasn’t familiar with the concept of wastebaskets. I swept the tissues off the counter and into the large black trash bag at my feet.

Once that was completed, I cleaned the mirror and bleached the countertop. I took my time sanitizing everything; avoiding the toilet for as long as possible. It was no wonder they lived alone—I was willing to bet that even club whores had some standards.

With the rest of the bathroom gleaming, I reluctantly turned my attention back to the toilet and wielded the toilet brush as if it was a weapon before taking a tentative step forward. The thing probably hadn’t been cleaned since it was installed.

There was something black on the seat and once I got closer, I realized it was a hair.

I tried telling myself it probably fell from someone’s head and not their—

Nope.

I was going to vomit. My eyes watered and I began gagging. It took several deep breathing exercises and a prayer to any god that would hear me before I felt like I was in control again.

I poured a generous helping of bleach over the entire tank, praying that it would kill all the bacteria that was undoubtedly living on it. It took me three tries, with breaks to step outside the room and gag, but I finally managed to get the damn thing clean.

I mopped and vacuumed before moving down to the end of the hall. Checking my watch, I saw that I had time to clean one more room before I needed to get dinner going. I’d mistakenly thought that I’d just reheat the chicken pot pie from last night, but the bikers devoured every bit of it at lunch, leaving me with no choice but to cook something else.

No big deal.

I’d only made my first meal yesterday.

How hard could another one be?

I decided to leave my room for the next day and just get Charm’s done. I expected it to be locked, but the silver handle turned easily in my hand and I pushed the cleaning cart inside with only the smallest sense that I was intruding. It smelled faintly of leather and smoke, I noted, as I flipped on the light switch. The bed was already made up and everything appeared to be in its place.

I took my dust cloth and wiped down the dressers and nightstand anyway. It took me less than five minutes. Whereas the other bikers had multiple picture frames of what I could only assume were there families, Charm had one. One picture in the entire room; a picture of him and a woman, resting on his nightstand.

They had their arms around each other and he was smiling—making him almost unrecognizable. The girl was beautiful with dark blue eyes and jet-black hair.

I risked a quick glance at the door before easing the top drawer of the nightstand open. I was just going to see if he had any other pictures hidden away. It was crazy, but suddenly, a small part of me needed to know more about this woman.

For instance, where was she?

The drawer was unassuming enough. There were several hastily scrawled notes left on worn pieces of paper, but nothing that caught my eye. I was just about to slide it closed when I noticed the edge of a leather book peeking out from under the papers.

I debated briefly on whether to leave it and walk away, but curiosity won in the end. It was old; the spine had vertical cracks in it and the brown leather was worn and faded. I flipped to the first page and began reading.

 

 

I closed the book and replaced it, suddenly regretting ever picking it up in the first place. Luck, whoever he was, had killed their dog. I shouldn’t have pried. Now, I was left with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and an unhealthy suspicion that at least a few of the men had chosen their road names after a stroll down the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

What was I expecting?

That Charm would’ve written about the girl who sat by him in class or what his dreams for the future were?

I was just contemplating who she could’ve been when the door handle began to turn and I immediately rushed into the bathroom where I began throwing cleaning products around, trying to mask what I’d been doing.

Charm froze when he saw me. “What are you doing in here?”

I pointed down at the bottle of glass cleaner as if it was suddenly going to speak up and save me the trouble. “I—you said—I—the door was unlocked.”

The corner of his mouth turned up and he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “You came in because the door was unlocked?”

I nodded and then shook my head. “No—well, yes. You wanted me to clean and the door was unlocked, so I assumed you wanted your room done too.”

I cleared my throat and looked down at the tile floor, afraid he’d see the truth written on my face.

I know about Bones.

And I’m so sorry.

“Okay then. Well, don’t let me stop you. Continue.” He went over to a desk in the corner of the room and sat down with his back to me and I fought the urge to go over and hug him.

Instead, with shaking hands, I began spraying down the mirror. His room was probably the cleanest of them all—it looked like he’d had someone come in this morning. He was probably one of those people that cleaned up their hotel room too.

“Hello?”

I jumped at the sound of Charm’s voice in the other room, knocking over the roll of paper towels in the process.

“Yeah? You do? No, I’m not surprised. I just didn’t expect an answer so soon. It’s tonight—send three of yours and I’ll bring three of mine. We can work out the details of that later.”

I wiped down the counters, trying to do it as quietly as possible so I could hear his side of the phone conversation. I wondered what it was they were into—was it drugs or weapons?

“I’m glad you decided to come around. It’s a good arrangement.”

Maybe both.

This was good. I was focusing on the club’s activities and not on the fact that they’d adopted a puppy and nursed it back to health only to have him ripped from them.

I wondered what happened to the guys who helped him. Had they moved away and left him to take over the club? Did he still see them when he met up with the girl from the picture? Obviously, they meant something to him. I knew that just from the way he wrote about them.

“Neve.”

Neve?

Like some guy would ever write in his diary about me.

I wondered if men called them diaries—probably journals. It sounded manlier.

“Neve?”

Charm was standing in the doorway when I looked up and I ended up throwing the sponge in my hand at him before jumping back in fright.

He knew.

He probably dusted it for fingerprints while I was lost in thought and—no, that was ridiculous. He’d probably just read my mind. That seemed more plausible.

“Y-you scared me.” I clutched my chest and cowered in the corner.

His eyes narrowed. “You enjoy listening in on other people’s conversations?”

I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t. Just cleaning—see?” I grabbed the bleach spray as if to prove a point.

“I think it’s time for you to start dinner. You can finish tomorrow.”

I nodded and began gathering everything up. “I’ll um, I’ll just be downstairs.”

He stepped back to let me through. “You might wanna pick up the pace, Sweetheart. You’ll never get this place cleaned at the rate you’re going.”

He slammed the door shut behind me and I couldn’t resist turning around and giving it both middle fingers.

Asshole.