Chapter 19

Adam

 

It took a good hour or two for me to stop feeling edgy over the woman who’d approached us. Usually that kind of thing didn’t bother me much. I was grateful for fans, and most were polite and maybe a bit starstruck. The only time it made me uncomfortable was when I was out with someone. Particularly someone who wasn’t used to it. If I was out and about in Hollywood with a friend whose face regularly showed up on billboards, I didn’t have to worry. They got it. But Brian…

He’d taken it in stride, at least. I had to give him credit for that. He’d even helped me with the illusion that I was just someone who was often mistaken for me. A lookalike contest? Nice touch. But he’d been twitchy after that, and he’d stayed that way until after we’d had lunch and gone down to Pike Place Market. It wasn’t until we’d been wandering through the shops and stalls for a while that he seemed to shake it off.

I didn’t blame him at all for being unnerved. I just hoped it wasn’t enough to send him running in the other direction once he realized this was a regular thing.

For the most part, though, we moved on and continued enjoying our day. The restaurant he’d picked was as good as he’d said it would be. They’d had a million local microbrews to choose from, and we’d each sampled each other’s. Both were amazing, as were the little slices of baguette smothered in cranberry sauce and brie. Not something I’d expected at a bar-and-grill type of place, but after so many years in LA, nothing really surprised me anymore.

At Pike Place Market, I nearly lost my mind in one of the glass shops. I loved glasswork anyway, and the artist made the most gorgeous blown glass vases, plates, and suncatchers.

“This stuff is amazing,” I said as I stared at a shelf of colorful glass birds.

Brian chuckled. “Careful—you drool on it, you buy it.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll end up buying something anyway.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. The odds of me walking out of here without buying something are about even with the odds of you walking past a dog without stopping to pet it.” I shot him a playfully pointed look.

“Hey. I resemble that remark.”

“Don’t I know it.” I elbowed him gently and winked. “It’s adorable, by the way.”

“What? That I have to stop and pet every dog?”

“Yes. Exactly. It’s fucking cute, so keep doing it.”

He laughed, a hint of a blush in his cheeks. Neither of us was exaggerating, either—he’d stopped to make friends with like four dogs since we’d left Pioneer Square. The only reason he hadn’t approached the fifth was it was wearing a service dog vest, so of course he left it alone.

After another twenty minutes or so in the shop, I’d fallen in love with a beautiful blue and green vase, and decided it absolutely had to go in my dining room. While the artist carefully took the vase out of its display case, Brian smirked.

“What?” I asked. “A dude can’t love vases?”

“No, it’s not that.” Brian gestured at it. “You just happened to pick one that is my football team’s colors.”

I glanced at the vase. “I did?”

“Yep. Go Seahawks.”

I chuckled and shrugged. “Well, your team has good taste, so I’ll take it.”

He followed me up to the counter. As the artist started carefully wrapping my Seahawks vase in bubble wrap, Brian said, “Is that going to fit in your luggage without breaking?”

“Hmm. Probably not.”

The artist glanced up through his bushy gray eyebrows. “We can ship anywhere in the world.”

“Oh. Well. Let’s do that, then.”

In minutes, the vase was boxed up and paid for, and Brian and I left the shop. He glanced over his shoulder. “Do people ever look at your name on stuff like that and realize it’s you?”

“Not when I pay cash and address it to my assistant.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that would throw someone off the scent.” He seemed relieved.

I glanced at him and let our fingers brush as we walked. “Hey. It really bugs you, doesn’t it? That people recognize me?”

Brian shrugged. “I just worry about you. Seems like it would be stressful.”

“It is.” I shrugged too. “You kind of get used to it.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

I stopped, and when he did too, we faced each other. It took a lot of restraint, but I didn’t reach for him. “It really isn’t a big deal for me anymore, but I know it might be for you. If it’s too much, just say so.”

“It’s not.” Brian shook his head. “I’m not used to it, but I mean, you’re the one they’re focusing on. If you can roll with it, so can I.”

I searched his eyes. “Are you sure?”

He nodded again, and one of those adorably shy smiles came to life. “If it means spending time with you? Definitely.”

Goddamn, it was hard not to reach for him and plant a kiss right on those lips. Not out in public, though. Not yet.

“Just tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

“I will. Promise.”

 

~*~

 

The rest of the afternoon was pleasant and uneventful. If anyone recognized me or even noticed us, I didn’t notice them, and I didn’t care. Between wandering through quirky shops and hanging out with Brian, I genuinely didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought. I was much more interested in snickering with him as we read snarky T-shirts and bumper stickers, or debating where in the world someone would put the eight-foot statue of Lenin made out of old bicycle parts. If someone saw us, then they’d just see me hanging out with this amazingly cute man who couldn’t walk past a dog without saying hello and who totally let his nerd side show when we walked into the comic book shop.

“I have crates of comics in my storage unit,” he said, thumbing through a box of vintage Marvel. “I even have a complete set of the X-Files comics.”

“No shit? There was a comic?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It wasn’t half bad, either.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t. The show was awesome.”

Brian turned to me. “You watched it?”

“Fuck yeah, I watched it. Skinner was one of my first crushes.”

“Skinner? Not Mulder?”

“Eh.” I shrugged. “Mulder’s cute and all, and even Krycek was hot, but there was something about Skinner.”

His lips quirked as he seemed to give it some thought. “Can’t really argue with that, I guess. I was more of a Mulder guy.” He turned toward me completely, resting his elbow on the box he’d been going through. Voice so soft only I could hear him, he asked, “How does that work for you now? If you get a crush on an actor?”

I laughed. “I simultaneously hope we never work together and hope we do.”

“You ever had to work with someone you were into?”

“Are you kidding?” I dropped my voice to barely a whisper. “Half the reason I took the part for Shots Fired was because there was a two-minute scene where I’m naked in a hot tub with Hazen Colby.”

Brian visibly shivered. “Oh God. I remember that.”

I chuckled. “Shame it was miserable to film.”

“Yeah? How so?”

We started walking up the aisle toward the store’s exit. “It was a pretty cold night, and the steam was pissing off the cinematographer.” I groaned. “So they replaced the hot water with lukewarm water, and added the steam in post.”

“Seriously? They did CGI steam?”

“Yep. That way, it didn’t fog up the cameras and they had total control over where it went, how thick it was…” I waved a hand. “Wasn’t my decision, so I didn’t argue with it. But oh my God, after about ten minutes, that lukewarm water was fucking cold.”

Brian laughed. “Oh wow, I didn’t even think of that.”

“Neither did I until our teeth started chattering. Just as well it wasn’t a sex scene or something, or we’d have bitten each other’s tongues.”

“Ow!” He chuckled again. “Man, the things you don’t think of when you’re watching a movie.”

“Oh, I could tell you all kinds of stories, believe me.”

“Do tell.” He slid his hands into his pockets as we strolled into a long hallway lined with more shops. “Is it true that sex scenes are way more awkward to film than they look?”

A laugh burst out of me. “Sex scenes are so awkward. Especially if the director wants to show some skin. If we’re under the covers or something, at least we can both wear shorts and put something between us. Cuts down on the accidentally rubbing a boner against your costar thing.”

“Do you… you get turned on?” He glanced at me, forehead creased. “Even when you’re with—wait, are you gay or bi?”

“I’m gay, but yeah, even when I’m working with a woman, it’s easy to get a hard-on.” I shrugged as heat rushed into my cheeks. “Actually I’m not sure which is more awkward—when I do get one, or when I don’t.”

“Huh. Yeah, I guess I could see that.”

“Especially because, I mean, I don’t want to make an actress uncomfortable, you know?” I sighed. “The women in my industry put up with enough shit already. So I usually just apologize in advance and promise her I’m just trying to film the scene. Most of them know I’m gay by that point anyway, so it helps.”

Brian nodded. “I can see that.” He paused, then softly added, “You and your costars sure make it look like you’re into it, though. You’d never know it was weird to film it.”

“That’s what we get paid for,” I said with a laugh. “I think some of mine are less nervous with me since they know I’m not going to try to cop a feel or whatever, so they relax more than they do with the straight guys.” I half-shrugged. “Maybe that shows. I don’t know.”

“I think it does. Your scenes always seem a lot less…” He paused for a long moment. “I don’t even know. They just seem different.”

“In a good way?”

“Very.”

“Well, that’s encouraging. They’re still tough as fuck to film.” I sighed, shaking my head. “Everyone always says filming sex is nothing like having sex. I figured that was true—hell, I hoped it was true—but before this weekend, didn’t have anything to compare it to.”

Brian’s breath stuttered subtly. We exchanged glances, and my heart sped up. Of course it had only been a few hours since we’d fooled around in his shower, but somehow mentioning it out loud made it seem like it had been way, way too long since we’d touched. And it seemed like way, way too soon that I’d be flying back to LA instead of spending more time between the sheets with Brian. And we were still out in public where we couldn’t so much as share a quick kiss or hold hands.

He swallowed. So did I.

Then he cleared his throat. “You know, if we take off now, we can get out of the city before the baseball game lets out. Beat the traffic.”

I nodded, maybe more vigorously than I needed to. “That sounds like a good idea. Let’s go.”

And on the way to the car, we walked just a little bit faster.

 

~*~

 

Thanks to traffic—so much for beating the baseball crowd—it was a solid hour and a half before we jogged up Brian’s porch steps. He fumbled with his keys while Lola barked and bounced on the other side of the door.

“Hey, kiddo,” he said. “Calm down, calm down.”

She didn’t calm down. She spun in circles, yipping and whining.

“Oh, come on. We weren’t gone that long.” He reached into a cannister by the coat rack, pulled out a couple of dog biscuits, and tossed them to her. That did the trick. As soon as she was occupied, Brian turned to me and murmured, “Finally.” Before I could respond, he pushed me up against the wall, kissing me deeply and grinding against me. This was definitely nothing like filming a sex scene. We were both fully hard and making no attempt to hide it; his erection rubbed mine, and I kneaded his ass while we explored each other’s mouths.

I loved when Brian was turned on. He could be so shy sometimes, but the minute we started making out, he took charge. He was aggressive and even a little demanding. He fucking melted me.

God, he must be so hot when he—

I broke the kiss and blurted, “Fuck me.”

Brian made a sound that was half-groan, half-growl, and rutted harder against me. “You want me to?”

I nodded. “Yes. Right now.”

This time, it was closer to a moan or even a whimper, and then he kissed me again. He was practically shaking now. Or maybe that was me. Both? Whatever. I held him close, digging my fingers into his ass cheeks as we made out. God, yes. I wanted him. I wanted him to bend me over, push that cock into me, and show me what it felt like to be fucked. Slow, fast, hard, easy—didn’t matter. I just wanted him, and I wanted him now.

Then Lola whined and scratched at the door.

Brian broke the kiss and glanced at her. I bit back my frustration; it wasn’t her fault, and she probably did need to go outside.

Then he looked in my eyes, and he grinned. “I’ve got an idea.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to stop, but I need to take her around the block so she doesn’t tear up the house.” He slid his hands down over my hips. “So I’m going to go do that, and you’re going to go upstairs and get ready for me.”

I shivered between him and the wall. “Ready? What do you mean?”

“I want you naked.” His lips grazed mine. “You’ve taken toys before, so you know how much prep you need.”

I gulped. It took a moment to make sense of what he was saying, but when my brain caught up, I nodded.

We separated, both making frustrated noises and exchanging a long look—more like a leer—before I went upstairs.

Alone in his bedroom, I had to fight back a sudden stampede of nerves. When we were kissing and grinding together, it was easy to say I wanted him and that I wanted to do everything. But did I? Was I sure? Was it Brian I wanted, or was I just tired of still being a virgin at twenty-eight?

I met my reflection’s eyes in the mirror above his dresser.

Well, Adam? Do you want this or not?

Downstairs, the front door shut, and I heard Brian’s voice outside.

“Settle down, kiddo.” He was laughing, and I could almost see him being dragged down the stairs by his excited dog. “The ducks aren’t going anywhere.”

I smiled, warmth rushing through me and burning away the doubts. Brian was sexy as hell, but he was also a good guy. There was no pressure from him. I’d known him all of forty-eight hours, and I had zero doubt that if he walked back in here and I said I didn’t want to go through with it, he wouldn’t push.

Which made me want him that much more.

So, heart racing, I started getting undressed.

I had no idea how long Brian and Lola were gone, only that when the door opened downstairs, I was definitely ready for him. Lying back on his bed, legs apart, I had two lubed fingers sliding in and out of my ass, and if he didn’t come up here and put his cock in me, we were going to need the fire department.

Brian’s footsteps on the stairs made my heart pound harder. I bit my lip as I kept fingering myself.

Come on, baby. I need you. Right now. Right fucking—

He opened the bedroom door, and I stared at him as he stared at me. His lips parted and his eyes widened, and I swore he was unsteady on his feet as he shut the door behind him. “That… that is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

I licked my lips. “You really want to just look?”

Brian swallowed. Without a word, he took off his shirt. As he stripped, I couldn’t stop staring at the thick ridge of his cock under his jeans. Once his jeans and briefs were out of the way, the sight of his fully hard dick made my toes curl.

He came around to the side of the bed and took the box of condoms out of the drawer where I’d found the lube. It probably only took him a second to put it on, but I was going out of my mind over here, wanting and needing him buried in me. I’d gone my entire life without doing this, and now I didn’t want to wait another minute. I knew how good it could feel to have something inside me, and I was fucking starving to feel that delicious penetration with another person.

Eyes locked on mine, Brian climbed onto the bed beside me. As he leaned over me and kissed me, he gently nudged my wrist. I slid my fingers free, fully expecting him to get all the way on top and slide his cock inside.

Instead, he pushed his own fingers in. I whimpered against his lips. How was it this much hotter when he was doing exactly what I’d been doing a second ago? Probably because now I was kissing him and getting fingered. And because it was fucking hot to realize someone else was touching me like this. A gorgeous man with an amazing kiss was naked, playing with my ass, and already wearing a rubber so he could fuck me. Oh yeah. This was a million times hotter than handling everything myself.

He kissed his way down to my neck, and I held onto him for dear life as his lips and his fingers drove me wild. As much as I wanted him buried in me, this was too sexy to pass up. I arched under him, gripping his shoulders as my hips moved on their own, rolling to complement the steady motions of his hand. I still hadn’t gotten over the novelty of his warm skin against mine, or his weight even partway on top of me, or just… everything. Being naked and intimate with another person. With him.

After God knew how long, he lifted his head and murmured, “You sure you’re ready for this?”

“Oh yeah,” I whispered. “So ready.”

He grinned and slipped his fingers free. Sitting up, he found the lube bottle and opened the top. After he’d put a generous amount on his cock and in my hole, he said, “Turn onto your stomach.”

“Onto my—” I hesitated. “So, not like this?”

“Trust me.”

I was a little disappointed at the thought of not being able to see his face or kiss him, but I took him at his word and rolled over.

And almost immediately, my disappointment was gone. Brian moved on top of me. That alone made my pulse race. Just being under him shouldn’t have been such a turn-on, but there it was.

The slick head of his cock met my crack, and I gasped. He guided himself closer and slid his cock up and down a few times before lining it up with my hole. The blunt pressure was familiar from all the times I’d done this alone, but having his hot, solid body on top of me while his cock was pressing against my ass? Oh God.

“Relax,” he whispered, breath warming my ear. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

“I know.” I pressed my forehead into the pillow, closed my eyes, and breathed as slowly and evenly as I could. My body started to relax, and the head of Brian’s dick eased past the tight muscles. I’d always loved how it felt when a toy first slid in, and it was no different now. If anything, it was better. Way better.

Brian sighed, shivering on top of me, and pulled out. Then he pushed in again, and this time, worked himself deeper, but only a little before he stopped. He lowered himself a bit and kissed the side of my neck. “If it hurts, we can stop.”

“It doesn’t. It… it feels good.” I swallowed, arching up just so I could feel his skin against mine. “Really good.”

“Mmm,” he purred beneath my ear, and he pulled out and pushed in again. It only took a few more strokes before he was moving smoothly and easily, swearing under his breath every time he bottomed out inside me. “This feel good?”

I gripped the pillow and moaned. “Yeah. Fuck.”

He shifted a little, and came down so his weight was almost resting on top of me. I shivered. Yes, this was perfect. He was touching me all over, and every stroke he took pushed my cock into the sheet, creating the most mind-blowing friction. It only got better when he picked up just a little bit of speed. Taking a toy was fine and good, but it had nothing on being covered by, surrounded by, ridden by this man who was making the sexiest sounds in my ear as he fucked me into the mattress. It wasn’t just his cock moving in me. Every time he pulled out or pushed in, I could feel his entire body—his abs, his arms, his legs, his hips—and every time he shuddered or moaned or cursed, it reverberated through me until I swore I could feel everything he felt on top of everything I felt. I wanted to cry for no other reason than I was completely and totally overwhelmed. I wanted him to keep doing it just like this, and I wanted him to do it slower so I could savor every nerve ending’s response, and I wanted him to take me as fast and hard as he could so I’d fucking explode like I already needed to do.

He kissed my neck. “You feel so good.”

“S-so do you.” Shit, I was practically crying. “Christ, Brian…”

“Next… next time I see you,” he panted, voice hoarse and strained. “I want to switch.” He bit the spot he’d kissed, and then growled, “I want you to fuck me just like I’m fucking you now.”

Suddenly I was simultaneously bottoming and imagining topping, and a sound like a sob escaped my lips as I tried to rock my hips and encourage him to ride me harder. “Yes,” I whimpered. “I… I want…” I shuddered hard, pressing my back into his chest. “Anything.”

Groaning softly, he fucked me just a little harder, enough to almost make me choke on my own breath. His breath hitched. Then again. His rhythm faltered. “Oh God…”

I was so close already, and the sound of him getting ready to lose it made me let go, and I came as Brian’s thrusts fell apart and his breathing turned into sharp, whispered curses. Nothing in the world could ever be as intense as losing myself to a powerful orgasm while he came too. When we both finally relaxed, we trembled and gasped for breath like we’d just run a marathon. I pressed my forehead into the mattress. He rested his on my shoulder.

And with Brian still buried inside me, and the aftershocks of my orgasm still rippling through me, we just breathed.