Chapter 5

Adam

 

I really was going to break down in tears before this show was over. Holy shit. I’d gotten a little choked up telling the story to the hosts, but as I hugged Brian now—and he hugged me back—some serious tears were threatening. That so wasn’t like me. I could cry on command for a role, and I wasn’t above showing emotions for real, but up until the Filmmaker Awards, I hadn’t been at the mercy of the waterworks like I’d been for the past week.

As I released him, I swallowed and managed to smile like I was totally in control.

And finally, I was face to face with the man I’d thought about every single day for five long, chaotic years.

He was a little cleaner cut now, and he’d gone for smooth instead of the stubbled jaw, but it was definitely him. His blue eyes were as gorgeous as ever, and goddamn somebody had been working out.

Behind me, Lily cleared her throat, and our moment was over. While Brian shook hands with the hosts, I stole the momentary distraction to wipe my eyes as discreetly as possible. As Brian and I took our seats, I prayed I hadn’t just made things worse by smearing makeup or something.

“Welcome to the show, Brian,” Corbin said.

“Thanks.” Brian fidgeted.

“So were you watching when Adam gave his speech?” Lily asked.

“Oh yeah.” With a soft laugh, Brian nodded. “My friends and I watch the Filmmaker Awards every year. And we were…” He hesitated, eyes flicking toward me. “We were all hoping Adam would win.”

My heart fluttered.

Brian cleared his throat, folding and unfolding his hands in his lap. “The speech… yeah, it caught me by surprise. I definitely wasn’t expecting it.”

Corbin gestured at the book Brian had brought with him. “Did you bring the autograph?”

“I did, yeah.” Brian pulled out the book. As he did, his hands shook a little, but I didn’t imagine it was noticeable to anyone but me. He thumbed to the right page, and then turned it so the camera could see. I leaned forward and craned my neck, and, damn it, there were those emotions again. My handwriting. The coffee ring. The words I’d written. My name. All in that book I’d never forgotten and never thought I’d see again.

“That’s such a sweet inscription,” Lily said with a smile. “To my future number one fan. I love that.” She looked at Brian. “Is that true? Are you a big fan of Adam’s?”

Brian blushed deeply, and he glanced at me before nodding. “Oh yeah. Big fan. I was blown away the first time I saw him in a movie, and my friends didn’t believe me when I said I’d met him, but…” He gestured with the book.

“Do you have anybody else’s autograph in there?” Lily asked.

“No one who’s been in anything, I don’t think.” Brian closed the book and tucked it beside his leg again.

“How did you decide who signed it and who didn’t?” Corbin asked

Brian squirmed a little. “Sometimes it was a matter of if I could work up the courage. And sometimes… I don’t know.” He turned to me, the sweetest smile pulling at his lips. “Sometimes there’s just a vibe, I guess. A certain charisma that actors have. I knew as soon as I saw Adam that he was an actor.”

“One doing a piss poor job of pretending to be a waiter,” I said with a self-conscious laugh.

He chuckled. “Oh, come on. You weren’t as bad as you think.”

“Oh, honey. I was. Believe me, I was.” I turned to him and sheepishly added, “I really am sorry about the hash browns.”

Brian burst out laughing. Oh my God. So gorgeous. “Actually, that place turned out to have really good hash browns, so”—he shrugged—“it worked out all right.”

It was my turn to laugh, and even though it was such a tiny, stupid thing to worry about, I was relieved that he hadn’t actually been mad about his order. Sobering a bit, I met his gaze. “Just so you know, it wasn’t lip service. That conversation we had really did mean the difference between going to that audition and just going home.”

Brian turned serious too, and he put his hand on my forearm. “I’m glad you didn’t go home.”

“Yeah. Me too.” I couldn’t resist and leaned across the armrest to hug him again. He hugged me back as the audience awwed and applauded, and it was once again a struggle to contain my emotions. There was just no conveying how much this man had changed my life with one little comment and a seemingly silly gesture.

We let each other go, and I pulled myself together enough to make it through the rest of the show. They only had us on for another ten minutes or so, and as soon as they went to commercial, we were herded backstage. Once we were clear of the cameras and out of the audience’s sight, I released a long breath. Okay. We’d done the thing. Now maybe we could sit down one-on-one and—

“Adam, we gotta go!” Vanessa grabbed my arm and steered me toward the door

“What? Why? What’s—”

“You’re flying out, remember?”

“Yeah, but not for—”

“Honey, it’s LAX. We need to get there so you have time to get through security.”

I looked around for Brian. “Give me a second. I just need—”

“We’re already cutting it seriously close.” There was a note of sympathy in her voice, but not in the firm grip she had on my elbow. “The only other flights out today are booked solid, so we gotta make this one.”

I blew out a breath and quit fighting her. I knew the drill. A missed flight meant a missed appearance, not to mention needing to reschedule the flight to the next appearance, and people got bitchy when that happened. Hell, I got bitchy when it happened.

But couldn’t we slow down just this one time? So I could spend a few minutes talking to the man I’d wanted to reach out to for half a freaking decade?

I glanced back, hoping to catch a glimpse of Brian before we turned the corner, but he was gone.

Damn it.