Chapter 37

Adam

 

Prior to Brian, I’d never had a lot of physical contact with a man. Nothing sexual or even affectionate. I’d gone my entire life without any of that, and most of the time I’d known Brian, we’d been too many miles apart for any of it.

But lying with him now in my hotel room, it was like we’d been doing this all along, and stopping for a couple of weeks had left me aching for it. I didn’t care if we had sex again tonight. I wasn’t even sure I had the energy for another round after a long day on set. As long as Brian didn’t let go of me, though, I was perfectly happy.

He combed his fingers through my hair like he always did. I loved that. It was almost hypnotic, especially the way his nails dragged gently across my scalp.

“That feels nice,” I murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. Might put me to sleep though.”

He chuckled. “You’ve had a long day. If you need to sleep, sleep.”

“I should eventually.” I shifted onto my elbow so I could look in his eyes. “But I’m not ready to crash yet.”

Brian smiled, watching his fingertips drift down my arm. After a moment, some concern furrowed his brow. “I, uh, didn’t get you in trouble with your bosses, did I?”

I laughed softly and shook my head. “No. In fact, Sam said I could bring you to the set every day if it meant I also brought my A game.”

“I’m pretty sure that could be arranged. When I’m not working, I mean.”

“Yeah, well, just don’t come when we’re filming sex scenes.” I made a face. “It’s awkward enough without my boyfriend watching.”

Brian chuckled. “I’ll just wait for you at home so we can have the real thing without all the cameras and awkwardness.”

“Ooh, now I like the sound of that arrangement.”

“Kind of figured you would.”

We both grinned, and then he tipped up my chin for a long, soft kiss. Not one that promised to get us started again, but one of those sweet, indulgent kisses I’d been hooked on since day one. Yet another thing I hadn’t realized I’d been missing this much.

When we separated, though, the humor had faded from his expression, replaced by uneasiness.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I just…” His eyes flicked away. “I still feel like such an asshole for breaking things off with you.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m sorry everything was so overwhelming for you, and I wish there was more I could do to fix it. At least, you know, being there to go through it with you instead of just texting.” I watched my fingertip trail along his jaw. “Being with me means…” I sighed, too exhausted to even form the words.

“You don’t have to be sorry about all that.” Brian pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. “It’s just the way it is. Your job means long hours sometimes, and being with you means the paparazzi are a thing. Being with me means dog hair on everything you own is a thing.”

I laughed. “I could think of worse things than a few dog hairs on my stuff.”

“Me too.” He smoothed my hair and looked in my eyes. “Like not being together.”

“I could really get used to this sappy side of you, by the way.”

He laughed, and no, I didn’t think I would ever get tired of how cute he was when he blushed.

Still, I hadn’t shaken the uneasiness that had lingered after we’d talked in the dressing room. “What about the messages you get from people?” I grimaced. “I don’t know what to do about those.”

Brian sighed. “I don’t know either. I’ve locked down a lot of my accounts so only people I know can contact me. And I make a point of not reading comments anymore. The thing is, I can’t stop people from saying horrible shit, and I can’t stop them from sending that horrible shit to me.” He touched my face. “But letting that stop me from being with you? I can’t do that.”

“I just hate—”

“I know you do. So do I. I mean, it sucks. It’s ridiculous that people think they deserve access to your private life, or that anyone has an opinion on us.” He paused. “Ironically, though, all those assholes are the reason I broke down and came here.”

That caught me off-guard. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” He chewed his lip, then took a deep breath. “I’d been thinking about it a lot. How bad it hurt not being with you. And then…” He sighed before meeting my eyes. “Someone got that picture of you in your car.”

I flinched. “Oh. That one.”

“Yeah. It pissed me off at first because it was just another incident of them violating your privacy. But then I started really thinking about how much you must have been hurting right then.” He stroked my cheek. “How much I’d hurt you.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered. “It gets overwhelming for me too, so I don’t blame you.”

“Maybe not, but you were still hurting because I broke things off.”

I pursed my lips. It wasn’t like I could deny it, but I didn’t want him to keep blaming himself after everything that had pushed him to that edge. “In your shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. The important thing is that you’re back now.”

Brian hesitated, but finally cracked a smile as he watched himself run a fingertip down my cheek. “I had to come back. I missed you. And yes, I know, we’ve got a lot working against us. The press. Being in a long distance relationship.”

Frowning, I said, “My work schedule.”

He nodded. “Yeah. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do this. We’ll just have to take it a day at a time and be patient with each other.”

“I can do that. I can definitely do that.”

“Me too.”

We both grinned, and I drew him down enough to brush our lips together. “I love you. And I’m really glad you came back.”

“I love you too, baby.” He cradled the back of my head and kissed me deeply. Tenderly. Hungrily. As he rolled me onto my back, I ran my fingers through his hair, exactly the way he always did with me. His hips settled on mine, and I hummed into his kiss and shivered as our cocks started hardening between us.

How about that?

Turned out I had enough for another round after all.