Chapter 23

Adam

 

“Holy shit.” Brian gazed out my kitchen window at the horizon. “You weren’t kidding about the sunsets.”

“Right?” I handed him a glass of wine and glanced at the sky, which was starting to change colors as the sun inched toward the Pacific. “I’d have paid twice the price for this place just for that.” In a stage whisper, I added, “Don’t tell my realtor.”

Brian chuckled.

I picked up the bottle and led him out the sliding glass door. The hot tub was bubbling quietly, the cover already removed, and I set the bottle and my glass on the table beside it. He took a sip, then put his down too. We exchanged grins, and without a word, stripped out of our shorts and T-shirts. We left them on a chair, safely away from the tub so they didn’t get splashed, and got into the water.

“Oh, that’s perfect,” he purred as he eased himself down into the hot water.

“Good. I never know what temperature other people like, and I like it really hot.”

“Fine by me.” He sat back against the edge, submerged up to his collarbones. “Just, uh, don’t expect anything until I’ve cooled off a bit.”

“Duly noted.” I scooted in next to him, and he put his arm around my shoulders. Truth be told, I didn’t mind holding off on sex for a little while. As much as I loved everything we did in the bedroom, I’d secretly been fantasizing about this too—sitting together, naked and cuddled up in the hot tub, watching the sun go down while we sipped wine and just hung out. If the wine and the heat meant neither of us were game for anything until later? Oh well.

Brian reached back and picked up our glasses. He brought them around, handed mine to me, and we drank in comfortable silence for a few minutes. This kind of thing came easy for us—enjoying each other’s company even during a lull in conversation. Earlier today, we’d wandered down one of the trails into the canyon so I could show him some of the other cool views. Part of the time, we’d chatted about whatever—jobs, TV shows, his adorable dog. Occasionally, the conversation would fade away, but it never felt awkward or like I desperately needed to find something to fill the silence. Just being with him was enough.

Now, lounging in my hot tub with a stunning SoCal sunset starting in front of us, it was the same. I liked it. I loved how we could move so effortlessly between conversation and silence, just like how we could easily go back and forth from hanging out to burning up the sheets. He was like the best of all worlds.

Please, God, I thought for the millionth time today, don’t let me screw this up.

I took another swallow of wine. This was the second bottle we’d gone through since dinner a couple of hours ago, and I had a nice buzz going, so I put the glass aside. Brian drained his and put it down too. With our hands free and no need to worry about dropping a glass in the water, we cuddled closer. I rested my head against his shoulder and he encircled me in his arms. Between the warmth, the water, and the wine, I was so comfortable now I could almost drift off. I didn’t think I’d ever really known what it was like to be this relaxed.

As the sun kissed the water and lit up the ocean in glittering shades of orange and red, my mind backtracked over the last several weeks. It was hard to believe how quickly Brian had gone from a fleeting encounter in the past to… this. God knew where we’d go from here, but it was crazy to imagine how much I would have missed if things had happened differently at the Filmmaker Awards. And how easily they could have happened differently.

Before I could stop myself, I broke the silence: “Remember my speech at the Filmmaker?”

Brian kissed my temple. “How could I forget? Kind of turned my life on its head.”

“Yeah, mine too.” I lifted my chin and kissed under his jaw. “You want to know what happened right after that speech?”

“Sure.”

I tucked my head against his again and fixed my gaze on the setting sun. “I went backstage and puked.”

Brian barked a laugh that seemed to echo through the entire canyon. “What?”

“Yeah.” Heat rushed into my face that had nothing to do with the alcohol or hot tub. “I had to talk myself into it like a million times, and then when it was over I kind of freaked out.”

He stroked my hair with his wet fingers. “Why’s that?”

I swallowed. “I guess I didn’t know what would happen next. I’d dropped the hammer, and then… I didn’t know. For all I knew, you wouldn’t hear it at all, or you might think it was creepy. Or maybe you didn’t remember me.” I shrugged under the gentle weight of his arm. “It was out there, you know?”

“Wow. I hadn’t thought about that.”

I sat up just enough to see his face in the warm light. “Was it weird for you? Hearing about it?”

“I didn’t hear about it.” He smiled and kissed me. “Remember? I was watching.”

“Oh. Right. You said that on the talk show.”

“Yep.” He laughed, staring out at the sunset. “My friends and I always watch, but when we heard you were nominated, we couldn’t miss it.”

I put my hand on his leg under the water. “Really?”

Brian nodded. “They all knew the story of me meeting you in the diner. And we’re all fans. So, yeah. We had to watch.”

My lips parted. “You told them the story?”

“Oh yeah. I recognized you when we saw Shots Fired, and none of them believed me when I said I’d met you. I showed them the autograph and told them the story. They were still kind of dubious after that, but they definitely believe me now.”

I blinked. “I… wow. I didn’t realize you’d ever told anyone.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He touched my cheek. “You left an impression.”

“Whoa.”

He chuckled. “That was pretty much my reaction after your speech.”

“Yeah?”

“I was, um… well, appropriately enough, I was speechless. So while you were apparently backstage throwing up, I was staring at the screen wondering if I’d just hallucinated.”

I laughed. “I’m just glad you saw it. I was afraid I’d psyched myself up to say all that, but it wouldn’t find its way to you.”

“Oh, it did.” His hand drifted from my cheek up into my hair. “And look at us now.”

“I know, right?” I reached for his face too. “I still can’t believe we’re here.”

“Tell me about it.”

He smiled. So did I. Then we came together in a tender kiss, and that kiss lingered. When it became clear this wasn’t going to stop any time soon, I moved to straddle him so we weren’t twisting our spines all out of whack. Brian hummed against my lips as I settled on top of him, and as we held each other close, I didn’t think I’d ever imagined making out in the hot tub being quite this sexy. Maybe the heat and the alcohol would keep us from having sex any time soon, but we didn’t need to. Kissing like this didn’t have to lead to anything else.

And even more than I had earlier, I couldn’t believe how things had played out. That I’d talked myself into making that speech. That he’d heard it. That in the media frenzy that followed, we’d found each other, and that after the talk show, we’d connected again. That we’d connected like this. Five years after I’d fucked up his breakfast order, Brian was in my hot tub, his tongue sweet from the wine we’d been sharing, and we were kissing while the sun set behind me and probably cast long, warm shadows all over the multimillion-dollar view of Topanga Canyon. Everything about my life—everything about this moment—would have been too far-fetched for me back then.

Somehow, though, this was all real.

Like he often did, Brian started kissing his way down to my neck. My skin tingled, goose bumps springing up under the hot water, and I swore as his lips skated along my throat. He loved doing that, and I loved it when he did, and now that I thought about it, maybe he enjoyed being on the receiving end too.

So I did the same. As soon as my lips met the hot, damp skin of his neck, Brian groaned. His arms tightened around me. In the stillness of the canyon, the only sounds were our soft huffs of breath and the quiet bubbling of the hot tub, punctuated by the occasional trickle of water when one of us moved.

This was what movie sex scenes could only aspire to be. We had no flattering lighting, no cinematographer and camera crew making sure everything was from a perfect angle. There was no background music to set the mood. Just the two of us surrounded by hot water and steam and the tranquility I’d moved out here to find. We kissed each other’s mouths, necks, shoulders—no rush and no need to wind each other up and take this into the bedroom. I could have stayed out here all night.

After a while, we separated enough to look in each other’s eyes. The sun had fully disappeared now, and everything was dark. I reached past Brian, picked up the remote beside the abandoned wine bottle, and switched on the warm lights around the top of the gazebo. They were pretty dim, but provided just enough light that I could see his face.

He smiled up at me. As he curved his hand behind my neck, a few droplets trickled down my back, and I shivered.

“You’re not cold, are you?” There was a note of concern in his voice, but he was grinning, so I was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Definitely not.” I sank against him again and found his soft lips with mine. That kiss only lasted for a moment before we looked at each other again. “So much for not doing anything for a while.”

Brian laughed almost soundlessly and caressed my cheek. “I didn’t say we couldn’t do anything. Just nothing that requires a hard-on.”

“I have no complaints about what we’re doing.”

“Good.” He drew me back in, and just before our lips met again, whispered, “Neither do I.”

 

~*~

 

It was still dark when my eyes fluttered open. A shard of moonlight came in through the window and illuminated the bedroom just enough to hint at my surroundings. My bedroom. Same window. Same outline of the oak tree just outside. Same shadow of the dresser and mirror against the wall. Same faint buzz of the air conditioning.

And though Brian had never slept in my bed before this weekend, the warmth of his body molded to my back was familiar too. We’d only spent a few nights together, and I was already more comfortable with him next to me than not. Sometimes we drifted apart during the night, especially if it started getting too hot, but we always found our way back to tangled up.

He murmured in his sleep and stirred just enough to let his lips whisper across the back of my neck. I shivered, sucking in a sharp breath, and wriggled against him. Just that moment of sleepy contact had my dick swelling and my heart speeding up. Without thinking about it, I pressed my ass against him, and he groaned against my neck.

He was still for a moment, and I thought he might be asleep. Then he murmured again, and the brush of his lips on my skin was definitely deliberate this time. So was the next one. The arm draped lazily over my waist tightened, pulling me closer, and he started kissing up and down the back of my neck. I exhaled, wriggling against him. Whatever effects the wine and the hot tub had had on us before we’d gone to bed, they’d worn off now—my cock was already fully hard, and his was thickening against my ass.

“Thought I was dreaming,” he said sleepily, sliding his hand downward.

“Mmm, if you are, I won’t wake you up.” I gasped when his fingertips brushed my cock. “Just don’t stop.”

Brian moaned again. It might have been words, but I didn’t catch anything. I was too focused on his slow, lazy strokes and his cock prodding my ass. Oh yeah. The wine and the heat had definitely worn off.

“I still want you to top me,” he slurred, nudging me more emphatically with his erection.

In my mind, I saw myself fucking him just like he’d fucked me, and I whimpered. “Any time.”

He nipped my shoulder. “Any time, like now?”

My full-body shiver had to have answered the question, but I still managed, “Uh-huh.”

A harsh, warm breath rushed past my neck, and the goose bumps hadn’t even finished coming to life before he growled, “Get on your back.”

I nodded, and when he let me go, I rolled over. The second my shoulder blades landed on the warm sheets, Brian was on top of me. He kissed me, and it was just like being back in the hot tub. The alcohol was long gone, and there was only the heat of our bodies under the covers, but my head spun just like it had earlier. I could not get enough of this man. Of the way he wanted me. He couldn’t be pretending to be into me because he was starstruck or because he was horny and I was the nearest willing, warm body—I didn’t think there was an actor alive who could be this convincing. The way he kissed me like he wanted to savor every taste of my mouth. The way his breath stuttered whenever I touched him just right. The way he held me. Yeah, if this was fake or superficial, then he was a better actor than I could ever be.

I carded my fingers through his hair. “Don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on in my life.”

“Yeah?” His lips curved against mine. “Good. Just the way I like you.”

I whimpered, arching under him. “Kind of an automatic thing when I’m naked with you.”

“Mmm, perfect.” He leaned down to kiss my neck again, and I sucked in a sharp hiss as I dragged my fingers up his back. I let my nails bite in, and the strangled sound Brian made was definitely do that again. So I did. And he bit my shoulder. And I dug my nails in. And Brian’s helpless moan reverberated all the way down to my dick.

“Lemme fuck you,” I begged.

“Oh, I will.” He came back up and kissed my mouth. Barely breaking that kiss, he murmured, “Let me get the lube.” He moved off me and turned on the bedside lamp. I flinched, but my eyes adjusted pretty fast. We’d left the lube and condoms on the nightstand last night, and he grabbed the bottle, but no condom. Our eyes met, and he must have seen the question in my eyes. “I need a little prep too. Condom comes next.”

“Right. Right.” I licked my lips. “So, what do I do?”

“Same thing you do when you’re going to use a toy on yourself.” He lay on his back beside me and offered the lube. “Fingers until I’m relaxed enough for more.”

“I can handle that.” I tamped down my nerves. He was right—I did this every time I broke out one of my toys, so I knew what to do. I just hadn’t done it on someone else before. It couldn’t be that different, could it? Just a bit less contortion?

“Hey.” He stroked my forearm with the backs of his fingers. “It’s okay if you’re nervous.”

“That’s good.” I laughed. “Because I am.”

“I know.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“No.” He lifted his head for a kiss. “But it’s your first time on top. Everyone’s nervous.”

Okay, that made sense. I figured most guys did this when they were teenagers. Being a late twenty-something with all the experience of a high school sophomore while I was hooking up with a guy in his thirties? Just a bit daunting.

Still, nerves be damned, I wanted this, so I put some lube on my fingers and lay beside him. He parted his thighs, and I almost forgot all about those nerves when he drew me in for a kiss.

Brian gently took my wrist and guided my hand down. I slipped my slick fingers into his crack, and when I found his hole, he groaned against my lips. It was a little odd, teasing someone else like this; I knew how it felt when it was me, and I knew when I was relaxed enough to actually press in. With him, it wasn’t quite so easy.

Except maybe it was. His lips softened against mine. His breathing slowed. Muscles relaxed. So, experimentally, I pressed. Without much effort at all, I pushed a finger into him. Then a second. Brian broke the kiss enough to whisper “Fuck…”

“This okay?” I asked

“Oh, yeah.” He squirmed beside me. “Jesus, baby…”

My nerves disintegrated, replaced by arousal and need. His kiss was even hungrier than before, and every little catch of his breath or twitch of his muscles came through loud and clear when we were this close together. His hips rocked almost imperceptibly, like he wanted to encourage my hand to move faster. When I took the hint, he moaned into my kiss and rocked faster.

Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist, and I almost panicked until he said, “That’s enough of that. I want your dick.”

I almost came right then and there. “H-how do you… position?”

Brian licked his lips and met my gaze. “I liked how you looked on your back.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm. So I’m gonna get on top. That way you can just lie back and enjoy it.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, a couple of curses slipping past my lips as I imagined him riding my cock. “Y-yeah. Please.”

Brian kissed my neck. Then he pushed himself up. “Let me get a condom.” He grabbed one off the nightstand as I rolled onto my back. Sitting on his knees beside me, he tore the wrapper with his teeth, then flashed me a grin before he started rolling the rubber onto me.

“Oh God,” I said, watching his hands work.

“I haven’t even done anything yet,” he said with a laugh.

“Anticipation. I want… fuck…”

Brian grinned, but he didn’t say anything. My mouth watered as I watched him pouring lube onto his hand, and when he started stroking it onto my cock, I had to grab onto the bedsheets just to keep from tumbling right off the mattress. If it was this intense when it was just his hand… Christ…

He straddled me again and gestured down. “Hold yourself steady for me.”

I nodded, and I held my cock by the base while he lowered himself. The head pressed against his hole, and for a moment I was worried he wouldn’t be able to take me. He was just too tight.

After a few seconds, though, he eased down more, and the head slipped in, and the barrage of sensations drove a strangled cry out of me that probably echoed across Topanga Canyon. “Holy fuck!”

Brian breathed a soft laugh as he lifted up again. “Like that?”

I nodded soundlessly. Some words came to the tip of my tongue, but then Brian came back down, and… screw words.

He wasn’t quite as mute. As he took me deeper, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back. “Ooh, yeah.”

I stared up at him, barely able to breathe as my cock slid into him. My God, he was gorgeous. As he started moving faster, he cursed softly, his brow furrowing and his eyes squeezing shut. It blew my mind that I was doing this to him. Even if he was the one moving and doing all the work, he was responding to my cock deep inside him, and between that and how amazing it felt to fuck his tight ass, I could barely stand it.

“God, Adam,” he breathed. His quads were tense under my hands. Every muscle in his body seemed to tremble with the exertion of staying in control. Of moving slowly up and down on my dick. He was so hot, and so tight, and everything about this was incredible. It was probably just as well I had a condom on—doing this bareback would have short-circuited my brain for sure.

Little by little, he picked up speed. How he was able to stay that coordinated while he was being fucked, I had no idea, but now I understood why he’d suggested I lay back and enjoy the ride. If I’d been in his position, or I’d been behind him, or something that involved more than just giving in to gravity, I wouldn’t have had any rhythm at all, never mind a steady one.

I didn’t just want to lie here and let him do all the work, though, so I kept one hand on his thigh as if that might anchor both of us, and with the other, I started stroking him.

Brian’s eyes flew open and locked right on mine.

Grinning up at him, I asked, “Like that?”

“Oh yeah.” He shivered, biting his lip, and rode me harder. “You feel… amazing.”

I couldn’t even breathe. I knew how it felt now, taking a man’s cock like that, so every response that registered—a shudder, a catch of his breath—was a hundred times hotter because I knew what he was feeling. And I was feeling what he did whenever he topped me, and… and… oh God.

“I’m gonna come.” I sounded like I was in tears, and this time I didn’t give a damn if I was. Stroking him faster, lifting my hips as much as I could in this position, I whispered again, “I’m gonna come.”

“M-me too.” His rhythm faltered, and he clenched around me, and his cock was even thicker and harder in my hand as he slurred, “God, Adam, I’m…”

My eyes rolled back. I suddenly needed to be as deep as he could take me, and I dug my heels into the bed and thrust up into him, and the cry he released sent me over the edge so hard I couldn’t believe I didn’t pass out. Brian wasn’t far behind, and as I came inside him, he shot his load across my hand and stomach, hot cum hitting my skin and driving me even wilder.

With heavy sighs, we both collapsed—me back onto the mattress, him over the top of me. He shakily lifted himself up enough to let me slide out. Then he came back down and buried his face in my neck, and I wrapped my arms around him. It was impossible to say who was breathing harder, as if it mattered. We just held each other and let the last few aftershocks ripple through us.

Closing my eyes, I couldn’t help smiling as I trailed my fingers through his sweaty hair. For my entire adult life, I’d been frustrated that I’d never been with a man. Now, though? I didn’t mind that it had taken so long to get here. Maybe there’d been years in there where I’d been painfully lonely and aching for some kind of intimacy, but now I couldn’t imagine being like this with anyone else.

It took us a while to find each other.

I smoothed his hair and kissed his shoulder.

But you were so worth the wait.