Chapter Twenty
Riley
Two weeks later, I watched Anna tearing around our small apartment. "Do you have the lantern?" I asked as she ran by.
She skidded on our threadbare rug and turned around. "Is it by the door? Oh god, if it's still in storage, we'll have to stop at the store."
I tucked my feet under me as she ran by and dove into her pile of equipment.
"Doesn't stopping by the big store defeat your idea of a non-consumerist camping weekend?" I asked.
She stuck out her tongue. "The lantern's right here. So I'll be getting back in touch with nature while you're —oh my god! He's already here!"
I leaped from the couch and fluttered my hands in panic. "Are you joking? He's an hour early."
Landon knocked on our apartment door and called through the thin barrier. "Should I come back in an hour?"
Anna yanked the door open and grinned. "No, but you're going to have to take us as we are."
"I can do that." Landon stepped over Anna's pile of camping gear and strode over to pick me up. He whirled me in a tight circle so we didn't kick over the coffee table, and still managed to give me a dizzying kiss. "Glad to see you."
"I'm glad to see you too." I couldn't stop smiling.
"Who's ready for the great outdoors?" a friend of Anna's crowed from the open door.
Five of her friends from school piled into our tight apartment. Three tripped over sleeping bags and stumbled toward us. Landon reached out an arm to save the first guy from falling onto our folded up dining room table.
"Hey, thanks, man. Whoa, wait. Do I recognize you?" the young man brushed back his shaggy hair and peered into Landon's face.
"Scott, this is Landon, Landon this is Scott. Come on and help me get this stuff out of the door. Love you, Ri, see you on Monday," Anna called.
Scott didn't move. "Landon? Landon Michel of the Michel Fund? Holy shit, man! You're that guy with the golden castle."
"Nice to meet you, Scott." Landon shook his hand with an easy smile.
"What are you doing crammed into grad school housing, man? No offense to Anna and Riley but this place is, like, a closet. You should come with us to the great wide outdoors," Scott said.
Anna pushed her other sardine-packed and shocked friends out of the way and grabbed Scott's collar. "Landon happens to love our closet. Now let's leave them in peace."
Her friends picked up all the camping gear and squeezed out the front door. Landon and I could still hear them outside on the steps, arguing over how to fit everything into Anna's car. We laughed even though my cheeks were burning red.
"This is why it feels weird when I invite you to my place," I said.
Landon turned and gathered me into his arms. "I didn't come to see your place." He kissed me and everything receded into the background.
* * * * *
Landon and I only saw each other on short, stolen days when we both fought hard to get away. I was busy with graduate school, and he was busy with everything. The more responsibility he took on at work, the farther he had to go on business trips. After our weekend together at my place, Landon had invited me back to Michel’s Beach.
I was nervous walking into The Sand Dollar. Every jittery nerve jumped over the two weeks since I had last seen Landon. He was leaving again on business in the morning and had begged to see me. Just the sound of his voice was enough to fill me with longing, so I instantly agreed to a romantic rendezvous. I was too embarrassed to invite him back to my shared apartment, so I had suggested we meet.
"You made it!" Landon surprised me in the parking lot.
I shrieked and threw my arms around his neck. The kiss tipped the whole world out of the way for a few minutes before my thoughts came back into order. "Why do you sound so surprised?"
Landon wrapped an arm around me and pointed me toward the outside staircase of The Sand Dollar. "Because the last time you drove a rental car on Highway 1, you had some trouble. I've been worrying all afternoon that your car broke down and you cruised into someone else's beach town."
"Jealous?" I grinned.
"Absolutely." He kissed me again. "So jealous that I asked Andrew to send some champagne upstairs. If it's all right with you, I don't want to share you with anyone tonight."
We ran up the back steps to the attic apartment and I sighed with pleasure as soon as I stepped inside. The whitewashed wood paneled walls, the creaking hardwood floor, the wispy curtains dancing with ocean breezes, and the breathtaking views were all just as I remembered.
Andrew had set an ice bucket and champagne on the small table by the balcony. A tray with silver covers and the scents of Ruiz's cooking made my mouth water.
"This apartment is a little corner of heaven," I said.
Landon smiled. "Andrew keeps talking about advertising it as a bed and breakfast, but I told him he couldn't. It's too special."
It was special. The little attic apartment made it into many of my daydreams. I wrapped an arm around Landon's waist and squeezed, just to assure myself he was really there.
"I'm sorry we only have one night," he said. "You deserve more than that."
"This is perfect," I whispered.
We forgot about the view, the food, the champagne, and tomorrow. There was only a tangle of lips, the urgent need to be as close as possible. Landon lit a fire in me that felt brighter than the flash of a lighthouse. We fell into bed together full of fourteen days’ worth of need.
Later, in between lazy, satiated sips of champagne, one nagging thought managed to bubble to the surface. Why hadn't Landon invited me to Golden Bluff? I imagined Lyla there, meticulously packing for the next day's business trip, and my heart felt tight in my chest. He was avoiding his cousin and his home because of me.
* * * * *
Sunrise in the whitewashed attic apartment above The Sand Dollar was such a dream I thought I was still asleep. Landon shifted in his sleep and his arm curled around my shoulders. He drew me close, sighed, and fell back into a deep slumber.
I watched his chest rise and fall and couldn’t resist tracing my fingers over his taut contours. It was always a surprise how underneath his business attire, Landon had a working man's body. He never talked about working out. He preferred to spend his time out doing chores on his estate, but his muscles were toned and hard, so he’d be able to work with his hands.
Those hands. A sensual thrill ran from the top of my head, down the length of my legs, and left a rising warmth between them. Landon's hands made me forget every worry, every self-conscious thought, and every doubt.
"Keep doing that and I'm going to be late for the helicopter," Landon murmured.
I ran another sweeping circle from his chest to the ridges of his belly, then swooped lower. He stretched like a jungle cat and buried his smile in my neck. Searing kisses let me know he was more than awake. Then he rolled over and wrapped his hand over the curve of my naked waist.
I rolled onto my back, too blazing with need to care about the bright sunlight. His thumb teased the small of my back and when I arched up, Landon's hot lips caught my nipple in a thirsty kiss. I dug my fingernails into the solid strength of his shoulders and tugged him over me.
Together we paused, savoring the connection before the press and pull of our urgent bodies took over. I felt his full length pressed firmly against me as he teased. I wrapped my legs around his, pulling him close, wanting him, needing him.
He leaned in, kissing me hard on my mouth, our tongues dancing together and our bodies grinding, hot skin on hot skin.
In one, effortless movement, he raised his hips and then entered me, sending electricity through my body. Our legs, still intertwined, our bodies moving in rhythm like a perfectly choreographed dance.
Our passion crested like the crashing waves outside the open window and when I cried out, he caught my lips in a long, shuddering kiss.
"I'm going to miss you," Landon murmured against my lips.
I kept him close, not ready to part. I wanted more from him even as I held back parts of myself. I didn't know where this growing passion was going to take us, but I wanted it no matter what.
* * * * *
The warm wave tumbled Landon but he came up laughing. "I'm just no good at this." He waded through the receding water and caught me around the waist. "It's no fair because you look so good out there."
I hitched up on my tiptoes in the wet sand and gave him a smiling kiss. "You're so tall, your center of gravity is higher than mine. Are you sorry we came?"
"To Hawaii? Are you kidding?" Landon grinned and my heart skipped a few fast beats.
Anna had helped me find the dirt-cheap airfare. She had pointed out that Grandpa had always supported the idea of me traveling, but I couldn’t bring myself to use any more of my precious inheritance. It had taken three extra shifts to afford it and two sleepless nights to get my classwork done, but now that I was on the beach in Waikiki with Landon, it was all worth it.
"We could have just taken surfing lessons in California," I pointed out as his abandoned board washed up next to us.
He looked horrified. "Have you ever been in the water in Northern California? It's freezing. You should know —Santa Cruz is where they developed the wetsuit."
I grinned. "You just didn't want to look like a fool in front of people you know."
Landon shook his head. "Sharks," he said. "The sharks in our stretch of California are the size of small cars."
I laid my surfboard in the water and prepared to paddle out again. "So we learn here, and then we find the secret beaches in your town. I know there have to be some good ones despite the cold and sharks and other excuses."
He flopped onto his surfboard and paddled into the low, warm waves next to me. "I'm just glad you suggested this. Half a month without you is just too long."
"It's not that long of a drive between Santa Cruz and Golden Bluff, especially now that I've got my car fixed."
Landon pretended to concentrate on the rising surf, but really he just ignored my comment. Mentioning his home immediately brought the shadow of Lyla between us. She had already called eight times that morning.
We turned to face the beach and I thought about his phone waiting underneath his towel, probably full of disapproving messages. Landon sat up on his board, egg-beating his legs to face the Diamond Head volcano instead of the beach. Despite Lyla's interruptions, he was relaxed, a golden god in the sunshine, and for now he was all mine.
"Last one to the beach has to make the Mai Tais," I called. A wave rose up behind me and I paddled hard. It lifted me, the pull of the water almost as powerful as my attraction to Landon. I jumped up and rode the wave, wishing it was that easy to skim over the hard bumps of our budding relationship.
* * * * *
Landon's head dropped against the leather seat of the limo and then snapped upright again. He rubbed the back of his head and fought off a yawn with a wide grin. "The next winery specializes in sparkling wines. We can sit on the terrace and have fresh strawberries with every sip."
First the limousine, then the slow-winding, delicious tour of Napa Valley. It was too much. Landon was clearly exhausted from his last business flight. I hadn't even asked what corner of the world he’d just returned from. Instead of a peaceful weekend at Golden Bluff, he had planned a wine-tasting getaway and refused to let me pay for a thing.
"Let me get this one, okay?" I asked.
Landon's eyes crinkled in a pained smile. "I told you this was my treat. Does it make you feel any better knowing that Andrew got me two complimentary tastings at this place?"
It did, but as the limousine turned up the elegant drive to a stone building designed to look like a Tuscan villa, my stomach dropped. Anna had laughed at me for worrying about all the romantic trips. All I wanted was a normal relationship, a solid base for the ever-building feelings I had for Landon. He just didn't seem to know how to do that and it worried me. Maybe Landon didn't want the same kind of relationship I kept picturing.
He helped me out of the limousine, and we paused on the crushed white coral of the circular driveway. "Wow, look at that place," he said, pointing to a sun-soaked Spanish mansion on the valley's crest.
"Please tell me that's not where we're staying," I said.
He turned to me. "What's the matter?"
I fought off the frustrated tears. "This is all too much. I don't need this. I just wanted to spend the weekend with you."
Landon kissed me and gathered me close. "Let's skip the sparkling wine and settle into our hideaway."
My stomach was a writhing knot of unspoken worries until he led me up a wooded path far away from the Tuscan villa. High up in the shaded woods was a dark green circular tarp.
"A yurt?" I burst out laughing.
"We can split the cost for less than a bottle of wine, but like I said, Andrew got us a deal." Landon caught me in his arms again. "Is this okay?"
"It's perfect," I said and melted against him with a kiss.
* * * * *
"I've never been in your car before. I like it." Landon craned his head to admire the short lace curtains that brushed the top over every window.
My car was small and old, so it needed other good points. I had tried hard to add a festive feel to the cheap, gray cloth interior. Lace curtains, silver mirror stars stuck to the roof, fluffy lambswool seat covers, and slim flower vases glued to the dash made it much more fun to drive.
"It's what I can afford," I said.
Landon shrugged the uncomfortable comment off and looked out the window. "Can you imagine if I added some flare to the inside of my town car? James would turn a sick shade of purple, I'm sure."
"What does James do when you’re out of the country?" I asked.
We drove along the coast to a private airstrip just outside Half Moon Bay. Landon was leaving on yet another business trip, and he had a grim set to his jaw.
"Sometimes he comes with me, you know, drives on the other side of the road so I don't have to. But mostly he just putters around in the garages," Landon said.
"He feels at home there," I said, glancing out the corner of my eye at Landon.
"I think so." Landon concentrated on the entrance to the private airport and pointed out the turn.
We drove up to the Michel Hangar in silence. My little gray car was a mouse among the bright white hawk-like private jets. Landon checked his watch eight times while navigating me through the giant doors. I drove across the wide expanse and parked next to a glossy Learjet.
Landon took off his sunglasses and looked all around. Besides the two attendants near the steps and a few workers, the hangar was empty. Lyla would pull up at any minute in her sleek town car, but for now, he could relax.
"Walk me up?" he asked and nodded at the jet.
I nodded and shut off my car. He opened the door for me and took my arm. We walked up the narrow steps and my mouth dropped open.
"It's bigger than my apartment," I said.
Landon smiled and tugged me inside.
Before I could take in the sumptuous white leather seats, the thick luxurious carpet, and the polished wood tables and storage, Landon pulled me into a fiery kiss.
My body responded, pressing into his before I could catch my breath. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself up to contour against him. His hands gripped and flexed against my lower back, cupping me to him with greedy strokes.
"God, I can't keep doing this," Landon groaned.
My heart felt suddenly heavy. "What?"
"Leaving you. How can I let go of this?"
I kissed him again, searching for the words to describe the joy I felt. "I'll miss you too," I managed to say between long, quenching tastes of him.
"Can you come with me? It's London. You'd love London." Landon tangled his hands in my hair and held my gaze.
I was lost in the stormy undertow of his deep blue eyes. Landon was more than a dream come true —he was the dream I never thought could exist. Every inch of me wanted to give in, but a small part of me stayed firm. What I wanted was real. Solid, steady, like the happiness I’d had at home with Mom and Grandpa. This was all surging waves and unsteady footing.
"I'll see you when you get back," I said.
* * * * *
"Riley, hon, wake up. Riley. Come on." Anna's voice drifted over the swirling lecture notes from my last class.
I woke with a start and sat up at our small dining room table. I could feel the pen ink on my cheek and dabbed at it with fuzzy motor skills. "I'm awake," I mumbled.
"It's three in the morning. When are you going to bed?" she asked.
"He's coming this weekend. I've got to get all of this done ahead of time."
Anna marched to the dining area in her oversized sleep shirt and scowled at everything I’d spread out on the table. Textbooks stood in towers around my laptop and two notebooks full of scribbles were propped up against my stomach. Far in the corner was a half-eaten sandwich sliding off a plate.
"You can't keep this up, Riley," Anna said.
"But he's worth it, Anna." I held up a hand. "You know it's not about the money or his lifestyle. Those are our biggest obstacles. This," I gestured to the mess of classwork, "this is nothing."
"You work double shifts, you stay up all night, and you never miss class. That's all amazing, but it's going to kill you." She put her hands on her hips. "You need to let him know you can't keep up these weekend adventures."
"It's the only way I get to see him." I slumped down in my chair. "What am I supposed to do? Tell him to get a less involved job so we can sit around on Wednesday nights and eat pizza on the couch?"
Anna flopped down in the dining room chair next to me. "Isn't that what you really want? Homemade spaghetti Tuesdays. Remember that pasta your mom used to make?"
I blinked hard. "I know, but I think I'm falling for him."
I let my head drop back down on my textbooks and felt the tears come.
Anna rubbed my back and heaved a big sigh. "That's supposed to be happy news."
"How can it be, when we obviously don't fit into each other's lives?" I wanted to bury my head under the pages and hibernate.
"Shit." Anna picked up my phone. "He's calling."
"Hi," I said, not daring my tearful voice to handle anything more.
"Riley, god, it's great to hear your voice. Look, I'm on my way, but I'm stuck in New York for at least another twelve hours. There's one hell of a snowstorm here. No wonder you ran for the West Coast." Landon's voice was tired but cheerful.
"I'm sorry you’re stuck," I said. "I'll be here whenever you get to town."
Anna gave me a thumbs up. She didn't leave as Landon and I said our goodbyes, and as soon as I hung up the phone, she snatched it from my hand. "And now you can catch up on your sleep."
* * * * *
It turned out Landon had to leave directly from New York to meet Lyla in Boston. The Michel Fund was especially busy around the holidays with charity benefits and large in-person donations. I hadn't expected us to spend Christmas together, but I was sad thinking about how Landon described Golden Bluff decorated for the holidays.
Every time we talked, he was tired and shied away from any mention of Golden Bluff. It felt like his business suits were an armor that deflected any mention of the place I knew he wanted to be. Since Anna had woken me up at the dining room table, all I could think about was Landon's job. He hated it. Not the work, but the way it was handled. The constant, churning schedule exhausted him, and he hadn't been in Michel's Beach in over a month.
So when a large belated Christmas gift arrived from Landon, all I could do was burst into tears.
"What is it?" Anna asked.
I pulled out the Bonsai tree. It was a cypress pine, pruned into a perfect, windswept reach. The miniature tree looked exactly like the line of trees high above Golden Bluff.
The handwritten note read, Wish we were there.
"Oh, Riley, it's perfect." Anna clutched her hands over her heart.
When the doorbell rang, we both jumped two feet in the air. Owen swung the door open and marched in. "Merry Christmas!" he called.
"You missed it," Anna said.
I rushed over to give him a hug. Since I’d been dating Landon, my friendship with Owen had been improving.
"Then Happy New Year," Owen said with a smile. "It should never be too late to say that. Hey, awesome bonsai. That's perfect for you, Riley."
"Thanks," I said. "It just arrived from Landon."
Owen's smile widened. "Good for him. First presents are always hard." He held out a bottle of red wine. "Thought you two might like this."
Anna thanked him and politely offered him a glass. Owen stayed and chatted, mostly about himself. In the midst of some success story from his new job, I heard my phone buzz. Landon's text said he was twenty minutes away and hoped I was home.
"Anyway, I don't want to bug you." Owen finished his glass of wine and stood up. "I really just wanted to swing by and say Happy New Year to my New York girls."
Anna shut the door behind Owen and gave me a quizzical look. "He's just trying to be your buddy now?" she asked.
"Yeah. He's been calling just to 'catch up' lately. Do you think it’s weird?" I stood up and inched toward my room to change clothes.
"Weird, but maybe good," she replied.
* * * * *
"Cheers to that beautiful bonsai you sent me." I tapped my wine glass against Landon's.
We sat in the dining room of the first restaurant we had tried when we ran into each other in Santa Cruz. A winter storm had kept most everyone home except for the real locals. The tabloid photographers had given up, and we had a quiet corner near the fireplace all to ourselves.
"I'm glad you like it," Landon said. "God, it feels good to be back in California."
"Have you talked to Lyla about your schedule?" I asked.
The loaded question settled hard over the conversation. Landon had been avoiding the subject for over a month, and I had never brought it up so sharply.
"Is that Owen?" Landon's eyes skimmed away from me and over to the bar. He waved at my ex-boyfriend, who came over to the table. "Have a seat, Owen, stay for a glass."
I squirmed as Owen gave us both a friendly smile. What was he up to? Owen and Landon chatted like old friends, and it was all I could do to smile and nod.
"Well, I'll let you get back to your dinner," Owen finally said. He stood up and shook Landon's hand. "I know you two are trying to spend as much time together as possible. Good luck with that."
"Wow," I breathed when Owen walked away. "He’s way different from how he used to be when he saw me on dates."
Landon raised an eyebrow. "It’s nice to see that he’s changed for the better."
I drummed my fingers on the white linen tablecloth until Landon caught them. "I'm glad you're home," I said.
He raised my fingertips to his lips and smiled. "Me, too."