Chapter Twenty-Two
Riley
"It would all feel like a fairy tale if I wasn't in school and working a part-time job and trying to make a whole new life for myself." I lifted my head off my open textbooks to see if Anna was still listening.
She was drying the same dish she had been two minutes ago with a far-off look on her face. "I guess it really is all about the timing."
"Exactly," I said. Exhaustion still weighed down my shoulders, but it felt good to know my friend understood. "Why couldn't Landon have swept me off my feet when Grandpa was still alive?"
Anna frowned. "Because you were still dating Owen then."
"Ugh," I groaned. "Owen and I had been over for almost a year at that point. You know that."
"I know," Anna said. "I'm just saying it wasn't that long ago."
"You're right. You were right then, and you're right now. I moved too slowly in breaking up with Owen. He was a good guy for a while, like he's been lately, but we weren't right for each other."
"Your timing wasn't off with Owen?" Anna asked.
"No. Except for the part where I took forever to break up with him. It's different with Landon. I just keep wishing our timing was better."
"Look, Riley," Anna put down the very dry dish, "speaking of timing, I have no idea when a good time to bring this up would be but—"
A sharp knock made us both jump, and then I leaped from the dining room table. "Landon!"
He opened his arms and I fell against him with a happy sigh. "How funny, we were just talking about timing."
Landon buried his face in my neck and hugged me tight. "I'm so glad you were home."
I felt a storm of emotions rolling off him, so I arched back to study his face. "Is everything okay?"
"It might be. I don't know. Do you want to go for a drive?" He ran a hand through his brown hair.
I took in the agitated look of him. It wasn't hard to guess it had something to do with work or Lyla, and I didn't think either of those anger-inducing conversations were good for a drive. "How about we just stay here? You look like you need to relax."
Landon looked around our tiny apartment and gave it a fond smile. "Yeah, here's good. I've always loved it here."
Anna trotted out of the kitchen and headed for the front door. "I see Owen in the parking lot. I'll go out and, um, distract him while you two relax."
"What's gotten into her?" I wondered. "They've been hanging out a lot lately. Does that seem weird to you?"
"Who? Anna and Owen? No, they seem like they fit together pretty good." Landon rubbed a hand over his stubbled cheek. "Have you talked to Owen today?"
"No, but I think he called Anna." I watched as my friends walked down the path to the beach. Landon and I were alone, and it was time I told him what had been bothering me for weeks now.
"Come sit with me?" Landon asked. He moved to the couch, sat on the edge, and patted the cushion next to him.
"Sure," I said, perching next to him. "There's something I have to tell you."
A tsunami of worry and curiosity washed through his stormy blue eyes. "Fine. You go first, then it's my turn."
I took a deep breath and forced myself to start. "I'm sure you've been wondering how I can afford to go to school, pay rent, and survive with only a small paycheck from a part-time job."
"Money's not an issue," Landon started.
I held up a hand to stop him. "The truth is I'm not a penniless student. My grandfather saved a surprisingly large amount of money over his lifetime, and he put it into a trust fund for me."
Landon's lips curved. "Nothing to be ashamed of."
"I know, but you understand how I want to earn my own way and be able to stand on my own." I laced my fingers together and squeezed tight. "Grandpa was a firm believer in earning your own way."
"He would have been proud to pay for your schooling because you're going to use it to do just that." Landon tried to pry one of my hands loose to hold.
I resisted. "You're right, he would have approved of the way I spent that money, but there's more."
"More money?"
I nodded and swallowed hard. "He wanted my life to be easier than his and much easier than my mom’s. She got pregnant young and was forced to move back home when my father ran out on her. So, to ensure an easier life for me, Grandpa created this trust fund."
Landon's mouth was grim as I opened the folder and pulled out the paperwork. He scanned it quickly then stood up and paced the small apartment like a caged tiger.
"I know it's not a lot, and it has conditions, but I wanted you to know about it. I don't want you to feel like we're such an uneven match. I'm not a charity case, Landon. I want to be your equal." I bit my lip as he froze in mid-stride and rushed back to sit with me.
"There are conditions?" Landon's voice rasped like sandpaper. He shuffled through the thin folder and held up each paper.
I stilled his frantic shuffling and smiled. "Nothing unfair or outlandish," I assured him. "Grandpa wanted to encourage me not to make the same mistakes as Mom. I'm sure she gave him the idea herself before she died. So, the trust fund states that I must finish school, enter a profession of my choosing, and not get married until I’m twenty-eight years old."
"You're twenty-six. I'm thirty-four." Landon leaned back on the sofa with a glassy stare.
"Well, there's nothing in the conditions about age differences," I said with a nervous laugh. "I've been thinking about the timeline all morning, and I've decided I like it. It takes all the pressure off for another two years."
"Pressure," Landon repeated with a bleak expression. "Are you sure you really want to be beholden to some arbitrary conditions on your trust fund? Your grandfather couldn't trust you to make your own decisions?"
"I don't see it that way." I took his cool hand and laced my fingers through his stiff ones. "This is the last thing I can do to honor Mom and Grandpa. They only wanted what’s best for me, and I agree. Once I fulfill the conditions of the trust fund and receive my money, I can give it all to charity. Otherwise, it will be divided up between endless cousins that I haven’t seen in forever."
"Wait, what?" Landon blinked and looked me in the eye. "You want to put your life on hold for two years just so you can give all that money away?"
I nodded, a tightness winding around my chest. "By then I won't need the money because I'll be working on a real vineyard. I'll pay off my student loans and give the rest to charity. That way I continue to honor my family by earning my own way, just like they did."
Landon wriggled free of my hand and stood up.
"Did I say something wrong?" I asked.
"No, no. It's just…I have to use the bathroom. I'm not feeling well." He slipped into the bathroom and shut the door hard behind him.
I knew I had said something to upset him. Maybe he thought I was implying that everyone should earn their own way and he wasn't. No, he knew I respected what he was trying to do, especially with the unwieldy position he had inherited.
Maybe I had scared him with my talk about wanting to be his equal. At least I had been clear that I intended to stick to the conditions of my trust fund and not get married for another two years. That should have made him relax, not tense up.
It was a lot of personal information to unload on Landon. Maybe he wasn't ready. I covered my mouth with both hands and held my breath. Did Landon think I was planning our future two years from now? Did he think I was assuming I could give all my money away because I'd live off his family fortune?
The possible misunderstanding made me dizzy. Lyla would feel completely justified if she had heard me. I sounded no better than the gold-diggers who’d infested Landon's life before.
"I think you misunderstood me, Landon,” I said through the door. “I'm sorry. Can we please keep talking about this?"
Water ran in the bathroom and his voice was muffled. "Just a minute."
"Maybe a little fresh air would make you feel better?" I said. "We could go for a walk on the beach while we talk."
There was a small stretch of silence and then Landon's voice was strained as he said, "Maybe we should head down to the boardwalk and grab a hotdog."
I stared at the bathroom door. "I thought you weren't feeling too good?" I said, but not loud enough for him to hear me. He stayed in the bathroom and his suggestion hit me full force.
Landon didn't like all the noise and distractions of the boardwalk in Santa Cruz. He normally snuggled me close when I suggested it and told me he'd rather have me all to himself.
Something was wrong.
I jumped from the couch and paced around the small apartment. The water was running again in the bathroom, but I knew he was just stalling. I had ruined everything with a few careless words, and now I wouldn't get a chance to set things right.
In a nervous cloud, I gathered up and stacked all of my textbooks. I sorted my notes and tucked them away. I shuffled away the trust fund paperwork and wished I had never brought it up.
Why did I think he would be relieved when I told him about it? Two years without even the smallest hint of pressure on our relationship had sounded like such a good thing. And I wanted him to know I didn't need his family fortune because I had an inheritance of my own. Sure, it was a tiny drop compared to the ocean he had, but I’d thought it would make him more comfortable.
If only I hadn't blabbed about wanting to give the money to charity. That was a secret wish of mine and I wouldn't have said anything if Landon wasn't, well, Landon. Now he was hiding from me because I had sounded so nonchalant about being together in the future and not needing my own money.
I’d ruined everything. I knocked on the bathroom door. "Please, Landon, I need a chance to explain what I meant."
"Be right there," he said. "Then how about that walk on the beach?"
I couldn't sit still. I wrapped a hooded sweatshirt around my waist in case the ocean breeze was chilly and picked up Landon's coat for him. A box fell out of the pocket and I bent to retrieve it.
The apartment spun up over me in a crazy circle. I dropped to the edge of the couch and waited for my vision to clear. Then I raised a shaking hand and looked at the box again.
It was midnight blue velvet, a small ring box of the highest quality. Every rational thought in my head screamed not to open it and it took all my strength to shove the box back in his pocket.
Landon had come over to propose to me, and I had destroyed all of his hopes. I had thrown the terms of my trust fund between us like immovable obstacles and then assured Landon that I was happy waiting to marry until after I turned twenty-eight.
"Sorry," Landon appeared in the bathroom doorway. "I'm fine. There was just a, um, work emergency and I didn't want to text Lyla in front of you. Bad timing."
I accepted the white lie and handed him his coat. "Life is all about the timing, isn't it?"