CHAPTER TEN

 

Brecken was excited to go apartment hunting but Tristan couldn’t be talked into joining us.  He said he was taking the bus to meet some buddies at the mall. Yet he also refused to accept the ten dollar bill I offered.   

“I have my own resources,” he announced before pulling a shirt over his head.  Things had been a little stiff and formal since the argument over his late hours.  I was eager to make things right between us.  But the kid had to meet me halfway. 

“Take it,” I said, pushing the ten into his palm. 

Tristan barely nodded when I said we’d be gone all afternoon.  I had a few places lined up that looked pretty promising.  I wasn’t just looking for a slightly less derelict version of the Empire Motel.  I was searching for something with a more family friendly vibe.  No drug dealers skulking around the parking lot or skinny hookers roaming the corridors.  If I only had myself to worry about none of that would have bothered me.  But the boys deserved better.  They deserved a real home.  And I was committed to giving them one. 

The first two places we looked at were no good.  The rent on the third place was a little higher than I wanted to pay but the location was perfect; right near Brecken’s school and not too far from my work.  More importantly, when we were given a tour I could see that the grounds were neatly kept, there were no sketchy fuckers prowling around and there were kids splashing in the pool under the watchful eyes of their parents.  All those things added up to exactly what I had been hoping for.   

I held my breath a little when the leasing agent ran my credit but either their threshold was very low or else my score wasn’t as bad as I assumed.  After all, I’d been operating mostly off the grid for years.  I didn’t even have a credit card these days and had just gotten around to opening a local bank account last week.  But the leasing agent smiled and said, “You just squeaked in there to qualify.” 

I tried not to exhale with relief too loudly.  “Great. Where do I sign?” 

They wanted an employment reference of course and I made a mental note to mention to Cord and Deck on Monday that someone might be calling to check up.  For the deposit I had to hand over a check that comprised the bulk of my brand new bank account but I didn’t mind.  I had a watch I could pawn to tide us over until next week’s payday. 

The agent peered at her computer screen.  “The first two bedroom unit we have available is 108.  It will be ready to occupy three weeks from tomorrow.” 

“We’ll take it,” I said.  I’d been hoping to make a break from the scandalous Empire Hotel sooner than that but we could hang in there just a little longer.  This move would be exactly what we needed. 

Brecken was already all smiles as we walked back to the car.  He kept glancing back at the pool.  There hadn’t been a pool at the old Emblem house but the town pool had been only been a few blocks away and Brecken loved to swim.  He hadn’t had a chance to be in the water since we left Emblem.  There was certainly no pool at the Empire Motel. 

“What do you say we go get some lunch to celebrate the fact that the Mulligan boys are moving up in the world?” I asked my little brother. 

“I’m starving,” he admitted.  Then he looked around one last time.  “This is a nice place.” 

“I agree.” 

“I don’t think Tristan will be too excited to share a room with me though.” 

“He’ll be just fine with it,” I said without really knowing if the statement was true.  Tristan would have to admit this was a much better situation than a cramped single room for the three of us.  As for me, as much as I loved my brothers I couldn’t wait to have a room to myself again.  Our current state of communal living would test even the mightiest of brotherly bonds. 

While Brecken and I stuffed our faces in a booth at Burger Heaven I paused in the middle of chewing when I saw a girl stroll up to the counter.  For a split second I could have sworn she was Cassie Gentry.  She had the same soft, petite figure and her long blonde hair was curled at the bottom just like Cassie’s.  But then she turned her head and I saw her profile. No, this girl wasn’t nearly as pretty as Cassie.  I looked away and continued chewing my food. 

Cord’s daughter was already on my mind more than I wanted her to be. I didn’t need to run into her unexpectedly in the greasy dining room of Burger Heaven.  Cassie and I hadn’t said much to each other the last few days at work.  I got the feeling she was embarrassed that I’d spotted her hanging out with that ass clown who’d shown up in the Scratch lobby.

Right before I walked by the coffee shop and saw her smiling at that damn creep I’d been feeling fiercely protective of her.  Whoever this fucker was, it seemed like he was not someone she wanted to talk to and she was visibly shaken up, even blinking tears away. I meant it when I said I would haul his ass right out the door.  I despised men who bullied women in any situation.  If he had stopped by just to cause problems I’d be happy to educate him on the consequences.  And honestly, the fact that he was hassling Cassie stirred a special kind of anger inside me.  Cassie and I still weren’t likely to be friends but any fuck nut that gave her a hard time had better hope I wasn’t around.  

As for the guy, I had him classified as a standard snake within five seconds. Complete waste of oxygen. I wasn’t fooled by the careful words he fed to Cassie, a whole lot of garbage about how she ought to give him five minutes to apologize.  I didn’t know what he was begging to apologize for and I didn’t care.  As far as I could see he was practically waving a neon ‘I’m A Dick’ flag. 

And yet not fifteen minutes later there she was batting her blue eyes at him and smiling.  The scene threw me for a loop when I walked past the coffee shop. I’d noticed Freya was covering the front desk as I headed out to grab a quick lunch but I figured Cassie might still be upset and needed a break.  I told myself that when I saw her again I’d let her know that if the fucker bothered her anymore I’d be happy to get rid of him. 

Maybe I’d been wrong about his Dick flag.  Maybe he was just some harmless turd with a crush.  Yet I wasn’t usually wrong about such things.  It was more likely that Cassie’s standards were a lot lower than I thought.

In any case, I couldn’t interfere if she was going to secretly crawl around after a bag of shit like that.  I’d still keep my word and say nothing to Cord.  It was none of my business. After Cassie and I locked eyes I pushed aside a vague feeling of disappointment and kept walking to the corner gas station to get some lunch. 

Since then I hadn’t found a reason to say more than two words to Cassie. I still kept thinking about her but I wasn’t looking for extra drama in my life.  Yesterday I even exited out the back door so I wouldn’t pass through the lobby and see her. 

“You done?” I asked Brecken as he picked at the crumbs left from his fries. 

He nodded.  We ordered some food for Tristan and headed back to the motel to tell him the good news about the apartment.  My gut tightened when I smelled the pot smoke right outside our door.  The last thing I needed right now was for Tristan to get busted for doing something stupid. 

He’s been smoking all right. The sweet telltale smell was thick inside the room and I wrinkled my nose in distaste as we entered.  That shit had never done anything for me and the few times I’d tried something more hardcore I’d regretted it. 

The lights were off so it took me a few seconds to register the fact that not only was the room full of smoke but my brother was on the closest bed with two naked girls.  Everyone was in on the action.  Tristan had one girl on the bed on all fours while he rode her from behind.  Meanwhile, Girl #2 was pushing her tits in his face and fingering herself.  I backed the hell out of there so fast I almost tripped over Brecken and slammed the door before he could catch a glimpse.  He didn’t need to see that shit. 

“What’s wrong?” Brecken asked. 

“Just stay here a minute,” I growled.  I gritted my teeth and forced myself to return to that room even though I could think of ten thousand things I’d much rather do.  Like get a root canal.  Or an enema.  But I was Tristan’s guardian and that room was the only family home we had at the moment so I needed to go in there and deal with the situation. 

Thankfully, my first appearance had already stalled the orgy.  

The girls were scrambling to be reunited with the various articles of clothing strewn about the room. They were young, probably Tristan’s age.  I averted my eyes while they finished putting themselves back together. 

My brother was in less of a hurry. He retrieved a pair of boxers from the floor and took his time about putting them back on his body where they belonged.  His eyes met mine and I saw no embarrassment or shame there.  Just angry defiance. 

The girls were now decently clothed and had gathered all their belongings. 

“Tristan?” said one of them in a tentative voice. 

“Get lost,” he replied in a bored tone and flicked his lighter on. 

I stepped away from the door while the girls scurried through it with their heads down.  They definitely didn’t have the look of street kids. 

“What the fuck, Tris?” I growled when the girls were gone. 

He shrugged.  “You said you’d be gone all afternoon.” 

“And you said you’d be at the damn mall.  Instead I find you here...ah…”

“Smoking out and fucking two girls at once,” Tristan said with a smirk.  He leaned back on the bed and took another puff from the bong.    

“You’ve got three seconds to get rid of that thing.” 

My brother rolled his eyes.  “Like you haven’t done worse than this.” 

“I’m not the topic of conversation here.” 

Tristan set the bong down with a loud bang. “Not real interested in having a conversation anyway.” 

In my head I counted to five before speaking again.  I didn’t want to risk shouting in anger and saying something I’d regret. 

“Tristan, I know nothing about this situation is ideal right now but in a few weeks we’ll be moving somewhere better.  No matter where we’re living though, I can’t have you doing shit like this.  Especially not in front of Brecken.” 

He threw me a look of disgust.  “You really think I’m stuck doing whatever you say, going wherever you feel like telling me to go?” 

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

He hopped off the bed and pulled on a loose pair of jeans.  “It means I have other options.” 

“What other fucking options, Tristan?  I’m pretty sure you haven’t been showing up for that part time job so you don’t have any money.” 

“I’ve got plenty.”  He dug around in his back pocket and produced a wad of cash, which he waved in the air.  

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I stared at the money.  Even if they were all small bills I couldn’t see how he’d come by it honestly.  That left other alternatives. 

“Where’d you get all that from?” I asked, afraid of the answer.  The answer, however, was not forthcoming. 

Tristan stuffed the money back into his pants.  “Don’t matter.” 

I took a cautious step in his direction.  “It matters.  Have you thought about what it would do to Brecken if you got hauled away?” 

He scowled.  “You didn’t seem so concerned when you were running around with gang bangers.”   

“God dammit,” I spat.  “You know I’m long finished with that garbage.” 

Tristan swept one arm wide.  “And check out how far your new life of law and order has gotten you.” 

I had a tough time keeping my cool as I pointed an angry finger.  “Listen you little prick, I’m the one who’s here now.  The only one.  If you think it was my dream to live in a shithole like this while playing warden to a couple of kids with no fucking life of my own at the age of twenty two then you’ve got another thing coming, asshole!” 

I instantly hated myself for saying the words.  I’d always taken extreme care not to do or say anything that would make my brothers think they were a burden.  They weren’t a burden.  I didn’t want to be doing anything else but taking care of them. 

There was a squeak at my back and I turned to see Brecken’s face peering around the open door. 

“Can I come in now?” he asked. 

“Sure, come on in, kid,” Tristan said in a loud, sarcastic voice.  “Our big brother was just telling me how he’d rather be living it up without us clinging to him.” 

I shook my head. “I didn’t say that, Tristan.” 

Tristan had grabbed a frayed black backpack and was furiously packing.  “Yeah, you kind of did.” 

“That’s not what I meant!” In spite of my efforts to keep calm I was shouting. “Fuck, I’m doing the best I can.” 

He shook his head with disgust and kept packing.  It didn’t take long.  I had a sudden flashback to the day my father was killed.  There were a ton of cops at the house and my mother kept screaming, “He just went to get cigarettes!” Brecken, little more than a toddler, was content to sit in a corner of my room with some toys while I turned on some music to drown out the noise.  But Tristan was seven and fully aware of what was going on.  He looked at me with tearful brown eyes and sniffed, “What’ll happen to us?”  I wrapped my arm around him, ignoring the crushing grief in my own chest so that I could put on a brave face for my little brother.  I told him, “I’ll take care of you.” 

And then I hadn’t.  Not for a long time.  But I was here now.  I wasn’t going to let them down this time. 

Tristan shouldered his backpack and faced me.  “Get out of the way, Curtis.” 

“Get out of the way?  And where the hell do you think you’re going?” 

“Told you,” he said with narrowed eyes.  “I’ve got options.” 

I swallowed.  I could easily pin him down and prevent him from walking out that door.  That wasn’t a long-term solution though.  I couldn’t force him to stay, couldn’t make him understand the dangers of the streets.  I’d seen people get maimed, imprisoned, killed.  I’d seen them fall under the spell of their addictions and become a mere broken shell of whoever they had been before. 

And yet I knew there weren’t enough words in any language that would make a difference to an angry kid with something to prove to the world. 

I only had one card left to play. 

“Don’t go,” I said in a hoarse voice.  “Please don’t go.” 

Tristan didn’t even blink.  “Move.” 

“Tristan.” 

“Fuck you.  Move.” 

I moved.  There was no other choice. 

Brecken was there, right at my side, looking from one of us to the other.  In a small voice full of fear he said, “Tristan?” 

Even that made no difference. Tristan only paused long enough to give Brecken a quick hug before leaving the room with all his worldly possessions stuffed into a single backpack. 

For a full minute Brecken and I just stood there and stared at the closed door.  I looked down and saw that there was a paper bag in my hand.  Before we’d left Burger Heaven I’d bought a few burgers for Tristan.  I’d forgotten to give them to him.  That suddenly seemed important and awful, that I hadn’t remembered to provide him with one last meal. 

Brecken was watching me, his worried face searching for answers.  It was too bad I was the only around because I had none to give. I tossed the bag of burgers in the trash and squeezed my little brother’s shoulder. 

“He’ll be back,” I promised. 

Maybe that was true.  Maybe once Tristan got a real taste of how ugly the world was out there he’d find his way back to us before any permanent damage was done. 

“You sure?” Brecken asked with hope in his voice. 

I nodded.  “Yeah.” 

And then I smiled at him with a confidence I didn’t feel. 

He smiled back because he couldn’t see through my smile. 

He didn’t know how much I doubted my own words, that I had no idea when we’d see our brother again.