CHAPTER THIRTEEN

 

I totally lost track of time and flinched when my phone rang.  My heart starting beating overtime when I saw an unfamiliar local number.

“Tristan?” I said into the phone. 

“Curtis,” a voice answered.  “It’s me.” 

I exhaled, trying not to feel disappointed.  One of my brothers was waiting for a response on the other end.  It just wasn’t the brother I was so worried about. 

“What’s up, Brecken?” I asked, keeping my voice light as I held up one finger and exited Cord’s office.  Cord glanced at me and then resumed talking to Deck.   

“Uh, you’re half an hour late to pick me up.  I had to borrow a phone from one of the counselors.” 

“Shit,” I swore, checking my wrist and then swearing again when I remembered I’d left my watch beside the sink in our motel room.  Ever since Tristan stormed out the other night I’d been badly distracted but I’d have to get it together for Brecken’s sake.  I checked out the time on the wall clock and winced. 

“I’m sorry, man,” I said. “Can you hang in there?  I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Why don’t I just take the bus back to the hotel?” 

“No,” I said firmly. Brecken looked really young and I didn’t want him alone at that place for five minutes.  “Wait for me.  I’ll be there soon.” 

Cord and Deck stopped talking when I returned to the room. 

“Hey, you guys mind if I take off now?” I said.  “I’ve got to pick up my brother.”   

The men glanced at each other. 

Deck looked concerned when he asked, “Everything okay, Curtis?  The boys doing well?” 

I thought about telling him.  About Tristan leaving.  About how much I hated subjecting Brecken to even one more night at the motel.  But the words wouldn’t come out.

“Sure, everything’s fine,” I said, surprising even myself with how cheerful I sounded.  “We’re excited to move to the new apartment in a few weeks.”

“And where’d you say you were staying now?” Deck asked. 

I’d never mentioned the Empire Motel at all.  “Just a short term rental place.  It’s not bad.” 

Deck kept staring at me.  I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.  I stared back and tried to appear unconcerned, as if my biggest problem on earth was that I was late to pick up my little brother. 

“It’s no problem if you need to go,” Cord said.  “We’ve kept you past your quitting time anyway.”

Deck wasn’t willing to let me escape so fast.  “Why don’t you bring the boys here for a visit one day?” he said.  “Maybe they’d get a kick out of seeing the place.  Shit, they were little kids the last time I saw them.  Now Tristan’s nearly grown and Brecken must be hitting his teens.” 

“Yeah, I’ll do that.  Thanks.”  I felt an almost painful urge to escape from their watchful eyes before they saw right through me.  I’d never been a good liar and sooner or later I was bound to crack.  Hell, I’d almost done it in the break room right in front of Cassie Gentry.  I hadn’t had the urge to cry since I don’t even know when, yet I’d almost broken down when I sat in a chair at that flimsy table.  All at once I felt like everything was catching up with me.  I was no parent and I didn’t know what to do. If anything happened to Tristan I wasn’t sure how I could live with that. 

When Cassie set that cup of coffee down on the table it shouldn’t have meant as much to me as it did.  But in that moment, receiving a kind gesture from another human being was everything.  I stammered out a thank you and wondered what she would think if she’d known what was going through my head.  I didn’t get a chance to bring it up again because we didn’t see each other for the rest of the day.  Not that it mattered. Even if we were working side by side all afternoon I knew damn well I wouldn’t have said one honest word about my problems.

She was gone when I walked through the lobby again.  The other receptionist was there, Mary or Mercedes or whatever her name was.  She was busy on the phone so I didn’t have to say hello.  I had no grudge against the Mary person but I found myself wishing I’d gotten one more glimpse of Cassie today. 

The afternoon had been a busy one.  After I returned with the samples Cord wanted we spent the day getting the production space ready.  The machinery would be delivered next week and Cord was thinking it wouldn’t be long before merchandise sales could begin.  Deck joined us mid afternoon and I had enjoyed spending the day among the easy camaraderie shared by the two Gentry men. 

But no matter what I was doing, Tristan was never very far from my thoughts.  Yesterday I’d wasted hours willing the phone to ring.  It didn’t.  Finally I drove Brecken to the mall and we wandered around, drinking sodas and watching people. It was a good way to escape the grim motel room for a little while.  My youngest brother was quieter than usual and I could have sworn the reason he kept craning his neck around as we strolled through the busy mall was because he was kept searching for Tristan in the crowd.  After all, that’s what I’d been doing. 

I stayed just within the speed limit on the drive to get Brecken.  When I got there he was standing outside, kicking pebbles off the curb.   

 “What are you doing out here?” I asked him when he climbed in the car.  “It’s hot as fire outside.  You should’ve waited indoors. I would have come inside to get you.  ” 

The kid shrugged and pushed his hair out of his eyes.  He needed a haircut.  He needed a lot of things.  New sneakers. T-shirts without food stains.  A math tutor. A real home. 

I bought him a hamburger for dinner and hated that it wasn’t something better.  He was thirteen but hadn’t quite hit puberty and its usual growth spurt yet.  He should be eating multiple food groups instead of greasy filler but healthy food was expensive.

“How was your day?” I asked Brecken. 

He wiped the mustard off his hamburger.  “Boring.” 

“How’s the math class?” 

He grimaced.  “I suck.  I can’t do it.  The teacher says I might have to repeat the class if I can’t pass summer school.” 

“I’ll see if I can find you a tutor.”   

Brecken frowned and scraped a clean napkin across the hamburger to remove the last of the offensive mustard.  “Whatever,” he said. 

I wasn’t hungry.  I ate only because I’d already paid for my meal.  I thought I was being discreet when I kept checking my phone under the table but the kid noticed. 

“He hasn’t called,” Brecken said. It wasn’t a question. 

There was no point in lying about it.  “No, not yet.” 

He took a bite of his hamburger, scowled and then set it down.  “The food here tastes like ass.” 

My head was starting to pound.  “I can get you something else,” I offered. 

“No.” 

 I coaxed him into taking a few more bites before we left.  The last place on earth I felt like going next was the Empire Motel but it wasn’t like there were many alternatives.  It was the only place nearby that accepted week to week tenants.  We would have had to go deep into Phoenix to find anything similar and chances were the neighborhood would have been even worse than the one we were in.  I consoled myself with the thought that we wouldn’t be here much longer.  In three short weeks we’d have a real place and hopefully by then Tristan would be back. 

My optimism faded when I saw that someone had pried open the door to our room. Whoever had taken the trouble to break in probably wound up being disappointed because we didn’t own much worth stealing.  Thankfully they’d left our clothes, although everything had been tossed around the room like trash.  The big hit came when I realized that my watch was gone.  It wasn’t one of the top designer brands but I had paid a pretty penny for it when it was new.  It held no sentimental value but I’d been planning to pawn it for some extra cash to hold us over until the next payday since I’d used most of my funds for the apartment deposit.  That was no longer an option.  And calling the cops over this would be about as useful as screaming into a hurricane. 

“Fuck, this blows,” Brecken said as he kicked the clothes out of his way.  I didn’t even have the energy to lecture him about using profanity.  Besides, it did fucking blow. 

The motel management didn’t answer their phone when I called down to demand an immediate fix for the lock.  I walked down there but there was no one in sight except a hooker in a folding chair.  She was passed out, looked like she weighed eighty pounds and there were angry tracks up and down her skinny arms.  When I returned to our room I slid the dresser in front of the door since there was no longer a reliable lock and wished like holy hell I’d kept at least one of my handguns. Instead I’d sold off everything I could when my mother jumped bail and we lost the family home. We needed the money and anyway I hadn’t relished the idea of keeping guns around with two boys in my care. 

At least the small television belonging to the motel hadn’t been stolen because it was bolted to the wall.  Brecken and I refolded our mistreated clothes while an old Star Wars movie played in the background.  He started yawning around nine o’clock so I sent him to bed.  He didn’t say anything when I wished him good night. 

I fell asleep in my clothes on Tristan’s bed.  I would have been much happier sleeping in the chair if it meant my brother was here with us instead of out there in the unknown. 

My dreams were full of noise.  There were Fourth of July fireworks.  They were everywhere.  When I ran they chased me.

“Curtis!” 

The bed was shaking and a frightened voice was next to my ear. 

“Curtis!” 

I opened my eyes to darkness and gunshots.

Brecken was clutching my arm and gasping.  Without taking the time to think I seized him and rolled the both of us off the far side of the bed and onto the floor.

There was another burst of gunfire and I tensed, covering Brecken’s body with mine.  He whimpered and covered his ears with his hands while I listened intently, trying to gauge the proximity of the shots.  They weren’t far, but they weren’t right outside the door either.  Still, I knew damn well the damage a stray bullet could cause and I had no knowledge of who was shooting or why. 

“Curtis?”  Brecken whispered. 

“Shh.”

“What’s going on?”

“Quiet, Breck,” I hissed.  “I don’t know.”

There was screaming now, a shrill, incoherent level of wailing that blended into the noise of the approaching sirens.  In another moment the sole window was aglow with flashing red emergency lights that seeped through the curtain and danced around the room.  I heard the crackle of police radios and voices right outside but I still wouldn’t budge from my protective position down on the floor.  I couldn’t, not as long as the possibility existed that I was the only thing standing between my little brother and mortal danger. 

“Man, this carpet reeks like old piss,” Brecken said but I could hear the shakiness in his voice, a kid trying to bravely make a small joke. 

“Just a few more minutes,” I told him. 

I had no idea how much time elapsed before I heard a series of staccato raps on the door. 

“Police!”

“Stay down here,” I ordered Brecken as I cautiously got to my feet.  I pushed the dresser away from the door and opened up slowly. 

A clean-shaven uniformed cop was on the other side.  He couldn’t have been on the force too long since he was only about my age. 

“Everyone all right in there?” he asked in the loud, authoritative voice that every cop possessed, like it was a skill specifically taught in cop school. 

“We’re fine,” I said.  “Just me and my brother in here.” 

The cop threw me a look and swept a flashlight around the room.  “Hey, kid, you okay?”

I turned to find Brecken right behind me even though I had told him to stay on the floor.  He winced at the glare from the flashlight but nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.  My brother kept me down on the ground while the shooting was  going on.” 

The cop relaxed and lowered the flashlight.  Maybe he was used to seeing so much bad shit he never knew what to expect when a door opened at a seedy motel. 

“Everything’s all clear now,” he said.  “Looks like a fight broke out during a drug deal gone bad.  One dead and one guy who was just sitting in his room was shot in the leg but it seems he’ll make it.  You guys take care.” 

I shut the door the second the cop moved on to the next room. 

“What now?” asked Brecken.  He looked exhausted and frightened.  The cop’s words kept bouncing around inside my head. 

“Drug deal.  One Dead.  One guy sitting in his room shot in the leg.”  

“Get your stuff,” I said.  “We’re leaving.” 

I didn’t have a plan for where we’d go right now.  I just knew that my first call of duty was getting my little brother out of a hellhole where people shot one another over drugs in the middle of the night. 

I’d prepaid for the rest of the week and I figured there was no getting that money back but I’d have to live with that. 

Brecken was stuffing his clothes into his backpack with almost furious haste.  Maybe he was afraid if he dawdled I’d change my mind.  He must want to get out of here as badly as I did. 

There were still some cops around taking statements and doing whatever cops did when there was a gunfight. A few inhabitants of the motel were mutely watching from the second floor balcony.  They looked ghostly and grim.  I wondered if one of them had my watch. 

Leaving the Empire Motel behind in the rearview mirror was a relief. 

The feeling of relief expired when I realized I didn’t know where to go next.  The dashboard clock indicated the time was after two a.m.  It was too late to get a room somewhere else. Reputable lodging establishments didn’t cater to cash customers in the middle of the night and I didn’t have enough cash on hand anyway.  I could think of a few parks that would be fairly safe but they would be officially closed at this hour and I didn’t want to risk a run in with cops asking why I was trespassing on municipal property and sleeping in my car with a kid in the backseat. 

There was only one place I could think of to go and it wasn’t very far away.  No one would be there now.  If I parked in the back the car wouldn’t be visible from the street.   

“Where are we?” Brecken asked with a yawn after I parked and cut the engine.  I took a sunshade and spread it out across the windshield so the morning summer sun wouldn’t blind us. We’d have to be out of here early or else face a bunch of questions but in the meantime we could get some much needed sleep.  I couldn’t recall when I’d ever been this tired. 

“Get some sleep,” I told my brother and listened to the sound of him stretching out in the backseat. 

After cracking the windows a little to let in some of the cooler night air I pushed my duffel bag against the window to serve as a pillow and closed my eyes.  Morning would arrive in a few short hours and I had no idea what we’d do then but I needed to close my eyes for a little while before I had the energy to deal with it. 

The next thing that startled me awake was another sharp sound but it was different from the last one.  This wasn’t gunfire, just a sharp knock on one of the windows. 

When I opened my eyes all the way and managed to focus on who was responsible for the noise I saw the troubled face of Cord Gentry.