Chapter 1
Belle
Belle stood staring at herself in the full length mirror at the corner of their studio apartment. She had spent hours laboring over the right look. First day at the new job. She had butterflies in her stomach and she drew in a deep breath to steady herself. Behind her, Jesse, her boyfriend, was flipping pancakes in the section of the apartment that they called the “kitchen”.
Through the reflection in the mirror, Belle could see Jesse at the stove. His longish blond hair was ruffled and he was still in his boxer shorts with no shirt on. Belle watched him in silence for a few moments. His slender pale frame, the concave shape of his stomach…she had always thought he was the “cutest” boy ever since she’d known him. And now he was her boyfriend!
“How do I look?” Bell asked, flipping around to face him. Jesse looked up and fixed his eyes on her with a bored expression. He was always grumpy in the mornings, that was something that Belle recently discovered about him, ever since they started living together.
“You look great. Stop fretting,” he said and started stacking the pancakes on two plates. Belle tried to be in a cheerful mood, even though the nervousness was wrecking her on the inside. She didn’t want Jesse to feel worse than he already did about his own situation.
She had been offered a position, even if that was as an intern, but it was a job nonetheless. Jesse was yet to find a job or internship of any kind. They had already been in New York for over three months and it was going to get harder and harder to pay the bills if he didn’t find some kind of employment soon. Belle’s meager internship stipend wouldn’t even cover the rent they were paying.
She walked over to the small table beside the stove where Jesse had started setting their breakfast. Belle took a chair and he took the one across from her. She could see that he hadn’t shaved in days, and she had lost track of how many times she had tried to politely suggest that he take a shower.
“What are you going to do with your day?” she asked, digging a fork into the pancakes. She heard Jesse take in a deep breath and looked up at him. He looked offended that she had asked him that.
“If you’re trying to subtly hint that I should go out there and look for a job, I’m going to do that any way. You don’t have to mother me,” he snapped at her and she fell silent.
“I was just making conversation. You don’t have to do anything,” she mumbled, already kicking herself that she had even bothered to ask.
Jesse’s mood swings were unpredictable. Some mornings he woke up feeling energetic and excited about going hunting for jobs, and on other days he was grumpy and touchy about it. Belle was hoping that he would feel inspired today so that he could uplift her mood too for her first day.
They ate their pancakes in relative silence for a few more minutes.
“Well, have a great first day,” Jesse said suddenly and stood up. Taking his half finished pancakes, he shoved the remains into the bin beside the stove.
“What’s wrong?” Belle asked, stopping her chewing.
“Nothing. I’m going back to bed for a few hours. It’s only eight,” Jesse said distractedly. Belle gulped, trying to control her heart from racing out of her chest. She wished she could do something to ease his frustration. She watched as Jesse crossed the room and fell on to the mattress on the floor and rolled over to his side.
He hadn’t even offered her a kiss goodbye or a hug. She finished her food in silence, throwing nervous glances at the man she had a crush on for so long. She wasn’t sure if she had done something to upset him, or what she could do to make him feel better. For now, she was getting late for work so she stood up from the chair.
“I’m off, Jesse. Hope you have a nice day. I love you,” Belle said as she grabbed her purse off the floor near the door. Jesse made no movement, but had his face pressed into his pillow. She heard a muffled goodbye and opened the door.
She closed the door gently behind her and took the steps two at a time as she rushed outside. This was too much to handle. Her first day at a job and also Jesse’s mood swings. She wasn’t sure what bothered her more.
Jesse had been her middle school crush, back in their hometown. They went to the same State college, and her feelings for him returned. It wasn’t until the last year, when they happened to bump into each other at a house party, that they actually started talking and went on a few official dates. When Belle told him that she was moving to New York, Jesse declared that he loved her and would move with her.
So they had officially been a couple for no more than three months, since they moved to New York. No more dates at restaurants, or going for movies or sharing milkshakes. Real life and real responsibilities had come tumbling down on them, when they were least prepared for it. While Belle had a plan for her professional life, Jesse had none and so the hunt had begun and he kept hitting a brick wall.
All the romance that should have existed in a young relationship, between two twenty-two year olds never made an appearance. He was too upset about finding a job, and every day ended with him falling into bed exhausted and uninspired. Belle gulped as she hurried down the busy New York streets towards the subway. Starkly aware that tonight wasn’t going to be the night either, when Jesse might make a move and be the first guy to make love to her.