Chapter 6
Belle
Belle came back to her studio apartment, and found Jesse sitting on the couch, still in his boxer shorts. At least he had put on a shirt at some point, and he had a big bowl of popcorn on his lap which he was eating while watching ice hockey on TV.
“How was your day?” Belle asked, as she dropped her bag on the floor by the door and walked over to him. She didn’t want to comment on his laziness or the fact that he hadn’t done any cleaning up of the dishes or the apartment.
“The usual. I dropped my CV off at a few places,” he said, and looked up at her. Belle could see it in his eyes that he was lying. He hadn’t left the house.
She came over to him and sat down beside him on the couch.
“My first day was good. Devon Rymer, one of the partners called me into his office and said that I was doing a good job,” she said and reached for Jesse’s hand. He allowed her to hold his hand, but didn’t drag his gaze away from the TV.
“Oh yeah?” he said, popping some popcorn into his mouth. Belle couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his disinterest. It was like he just didn’t care.
“Aren’t you interested at all in how my day was?” she asked him, getting a little angry now. Jesse finally turned to her, with his lips pressed together.
“Of course I am. I’m just watching the game babe. And I already know you’re good at your job,” he said, forcing a smile on his face. Belle pulled her hand away and scrunched up her face. She was excited about how the day went. She couldn’t exactly tell Jesse how thrilling it was to talk to Devon Rymer, but she at least could tell him about the rest of the work she did. But now he was only pretending to be interested.
“What do you want to eat?” she asked him, deciding to change the subject so that she didn’t lose her temper even more.
Jesse looked at her apologetically.
“I ate already. Chinese takeout. Sorry, I was really hungry,” he said and Belle rolled her eyes again.
“You couldn’t even wait for me to come home!” she said and stood up with a jerk. Jesse stood up too and started following her to the kitchen area.
“I’m sorry, babe. I really am. I wasn’t sure how long you’d be. I figured since it’s your first day, you might be delayed,” he was saying, and Belle just shook her head. The frustration was rising in her chest. This was not the kind of relationship she had imagined for them. It was supposed to be an adventure, a romantic adventure in New York.
She started rummaging in their mini fridge for leftovers, when she felt Jesse’s hands on her waist from behind. She straightened herself up and whipped around. He was smiling at her apologetically and pulled her closer to him.
Belle bit down on her lip, aware of the feelings of arousal she had in Devon Rymer’s office that morning. Perhaps sex with Jesse would help quench those needs, she thought. She decided to forgive him and brought her face closer to him now. Jesse leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was gentle and slow and Belle moaned softly.
He pulled away after a few seconds and she was blushing, looking up at him from under her heavy eyelids.
“Should we just go to bed?” she asked him and Jesse suddenly let go of her waist.
“I’m not sleepy yet, babe,” he said and the smile on Belle’s face drooped.
“No, I meant…” she began to say, but Jesse had already started walking away from her towards the couch. She couldn’t understand why they hadn’t had sex yet. Weren’t boys his age supposed to want sex more than girls? Wouldn’t he be excited that they were living together and now he had his opportunity to have sex with her as much as he wanted?
It seemed like she wanted it more than he did.
“I know what you meant, Belle,” Jesse said, sitting back down on the couch again. Belle grabbed the open door of the fridge tightly, she could feel her teeth grinding against each other. She was beginning to feel humiliated now. This constant rejection from her own boyfriend was taking its toll on her.
“What is the problem, Jesse?” she asked him, afraid of what the answer might be.
“I just think we should wait,” he said bluntly, without looking at her. He had settled the bowl of popcorn on his lap again.
“Wait for what? We’re in a relationship and we’re living together!” she said, her voice rising in anger now. Jesse looked at her, only for a second and turned his gaze to the TV screen again.
“Don’t you want to save yourself for the right moment? Like when we decide to take our relationship to the next stage? Isn’t that the right thing to do?” Jesse said and Belle whipped around from him.
She had never thought like that. Her own virginity was because she hadn’t found the right guy yet, not because she was saving herself for the right moment, or marriage. Up until now, she had no idea that was the reason why Jesse was holding out. He was a friendly, intelligent, good looking guy who dated several girls in college before herself…Belle hadn’t doubted that he was a sexually active guy.
She bit down on her lip as she tried to keep herself from looking at Jesse. She couldn’t believe what she had gotten herself into.
“I love you babe, I just think we should wait,” she heard him say and she pressed her eyes close to try and shut out his voice.