CHAPTER EIGHT
Jacqueline
As the sunlight blasted through Ryan’s uncovered windows, I opened my eyes to see him lying next to me with his face pressed into his pillow. He was on his stomach, and I could see every muscle of his back, moving up and down with each breath he took. The sight made me swallow hard and turn away. I shook myself, remembering that Ryan was family. My attraction to him could not continue.
Slowly, I pushed myself up and threw my legs over the side of the bed. I sat there for a second, adjusting to being awake, before I readied myself to leave. Just as I was about to stand, Ryan shifted beside me. When I turned around, his light-blue eyes were wide open.
“Where are you going?” he asked sleepily.
“Figured it was time for me to leave,” I said.
“Why?” he asked, sitting up quickly. He moved fast for someone who was drunk just hours before. He barely seemed to have a hangover.
“Why did you get so drunk last night?” I asked, not answering his question.
He sighed. “A lot of reasons. I don’t even know where to start.”
I frowned and turned completely around, curling my legs beneath me on the bed. “The beginning?” I suggested.
“Why do you want to know?” he asked suspiciously.
“Because I’m the one who picked your drunk ass up last night, remember?” I snapped.
He nodded. “I appreciate that.”
“Plus,” I said, my tone softening. “I care about you, Ryan. Despite my anger and despite how irritating you can be, I’ll always care about you.”
Ryan’s eyes were locked on mine, and I saw something stir behind them. I bit my lip and looked down at my hands, waiting for him to speak and break the awkward tension between us.
“It’s been hard,” he finally said, his voice softer than I’d ever heard it. “Adjusting to civilian life isn’t easy. I knew it wouldn’t be. They tell us that all the time, but I just never imagined it would take this long. Most of the time, I still feel like I’m a SEAL, like I’m on some mission that I don’t yet have my orders for.”
“In a way, you are,” I said kindly. “This is all just one big, long mission. The only difference is, you have to make up your own orders as you go.”
“Yeah,” he scoffed. “That’s not exactly easy.”
I sighed. “I know. I mean, I think I know. All I can say is that you’ll make it through this. You will adjust, and your life will be great. I’m sure of that.”
“Thank you, Jacqueline,” he said, smiling weakly.
“So, that’s why you got so drunk?” I asked.
He nodded. “Partly. Things have been hard, but I’ve also been really confused about you.”
Ryan’s eyes were on my face as he spoke. My heart stopped, and I swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.
“Ryan,” I said warningly.
“Just listen, okay?” he asked, scooting closer to me. “I know it’s weird. Bradley is your brother, and in so many ways, he’s mine too. Your parents adopted me years ago. There are a million reasons why you and I should see each other as family, but I just … I don’t see you that way, Jacqueline. Not at all.”
I stared at him, not knowing what to say. The truth was, I didn’t see him as a brother either. When I looked at Ryan, I saw a frustrating, attractive, defensive man who intrigued me. No matter how much I tried to put him in the same box as Bradley, he just didn’t fit.
“If you don’t feel the same way,” he said softly. “If you aren’t attracted to me at all, then that’s okay. This will be the last time I ever mention it. I swear. I just had to tell you, at least once.”
“Ryan,” I said again, taking my glasses off and running my hands over my face. “This is crazy. We’re supposed to be brother and sister.”
“But we aren’t,” Ryan interrupted. “Not by blood. We didn’t even grow up together, not really. You aren’t my sister, Jacqueline. You’re Bradley’s sister.”
“And what about our parents?” she challenged. “Don’t you still think of them as …”
“I’m not talking about them right now,” he said. “I’m talking about you. What do you feel?”
My heart was pounding inside my chest. It beat so hard and fast that I felt sure he would hear it. His eyes were focused on my face, just waiting for me to speak. I didn’t. I couldn’t. There weren’t words to describe how I felt. The only thing that could were actions.
When I finally met his gaze, there was desire in his eyes. Without thinking, without pausing to remind myself why this was a bad idea, I moved forward. My lips found his easily, and I melted. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him. As our lips worked together, Ryan came alive. His tongue found mine, and he tasted me with a desperation that sent chills down my spine. When he pulled me into his lap, I forgot how to breathe.
Our kiss deepened. I ran my fingers through his short, black hair, and he gripped my hips with desire. I could taste every drink he had the night before, but I didn’t care. My brain was no longer in control. My body wanted Ryan, and that’s what it would get.
He slid his hand under my shirt and pulled it over my head, leaving me sitting in his lap in just my bra and a pair of sweatpants. When he unhooked my bra and slid it over my shoulders, he groaned hungrily and threw me on the bed. I was panting before he even put his hands on me.
Ryan hovered above me while I ran my fingers over his abs. Everything about him was sexy. He was already shirtless, but I was desperate to remove his pants. Before I had the chance, he attacked my body with a groan. His lips found mine while his fingers pinched and teased my nipples. I gasped against his mouth, wrapping my legs around his waist.
Breaking our kiss, Ryan trailed his tongue slowly down my neck to my chest. I shivered and moaned desperately when his tongue found my nipple. He took it in his mouth, sucking and pulling on me until I could barely stand it. In one motion, I pulled his face back to mine and rolled us over. I pinned him to the bed, my hands feeling every inch of his skin.
“When did you get so damn sexy?” he breathed.
I grinned and kissed his chest, letting my lips linger just long enough to tease his skin. I kissed my way down his chest to his stomach, slipping my hands in the waistline of his pants. Looking up at him, I yanked his pants and boxers down. He kicked them to the floor as I stared at his perfectly shaped cock. I moaned and climbed back on top of him.
We kissed again, his dick pressed between us. I rocked my hips back and forth to tease him. By the way he moaned, I knew it worked. He rolled me onto my back and removed my pants. I laid in front of him in nothing but a pair of red panties. He eyed my body appreciatively and then tore the panties from my body.
He fell against me, kissing me fast and hard. His fingers slid between my legs and played in my folds, feeling my wetness.
“God,” he groaned, rubbing my clit and setting my body on fire. He stroked me for a few seconds before he couldn’t take it anymore.
Ryan reached over and grabbed a condom from his bedside table. Ripping it open with his teeth, he slid it over his ready cock and positioned himself above me. I put my legs on his shoulders, lifting my hips for him to enter me. When he did, we both moaned, and I could barely breathe.
He held onto my legs and took me so hard that my head bounced against his headboard. I didn’t care. In that moment, I didn’t care about anything. Ryan was the only thing on my mind. He wrapped one arm around my legs for support and moved the other hand to my clit. He rubbed me with this thumb while pounding against me with full force.
I screamed out with pleasure and threw my arms over my head. My entire body was on fire. With every grunt that escaped Ryan’s throat, he brought us both closer to ecstasy.
“Holy shit,” I cried. “Don’t stop. Oh god! Don’t stop.”
Ryan’s thrusts grew harder. His thumb rubbed furiously against my clit. My screams were reduced to whimpers as my body shook. My breasts were bouncing, and my head slammed against the headboard again and again. When I came, I felt my walls collapse around him, and I screamed louder than ever.
“Fuck,” he groaned, releasing his own pleasure seconds later.
He panted and held onto my legs tightly, his body convulsing. When he could breathe again, he collapsed onto the bed beside me, leaving me lying there sweaty and weak.
“Fuck,” he said again. “Shit, that was amazing.”
I nodded and rolled to the side. My body was still shaky from the incredible orgasm, but my brain was finally working again. As I laid there, I couldn’t believe what we just did. Ryan was right, it had been amazing, but how could I let myself go there with him?
“I should go,” I said weakly, jumping to my feet and frantically searching for my clothes. I got dressed so fast that Ryan barely had time to sit up.
“What?” he asked with a hurt look spreading across his face. “Why?”
I didn’t answer. I just grabbed my glasses and hurried out of the room, not stopping until I reached my car.