CHAPTER THREE
Ryan
My new apartment wasn’t yet decorated. I barely managed to unpack my clothes and set up my bed. My couch was thrown in the middle of the living room, with nothing else around it. I knew I would need a TV and maybe a kitchen table, but I wasn’t in a hurry to buy them. Most of my life, I didn’t have a lot. Just having my own place—not paid for by the navy—felt liberating.
As I ate breakfast, I glanced around the apartment. It was small. A one-bedroom with one bathroom and a combined living and dining room. I had a patio, which was nice, and a tiny front porch. It wasn’t much, but I already loved it. Still, I felt confined as I finished my oatmeal. After being in the military for so long, I felt bored and restless. Without the constant shuffle of missions and physical training, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I rinsed my bowl and threw on my shoes. A run would help clear my mind. I locked my front door and took off down the road. Richmond was a new city for me to explore. I’d spent a little time here as a kid, but not much.
As I ran, I looked around the neighborhood. My apartment building sat behind a subdivision filled with large houses. I turned, jogging through the streets and checking out the houses as I ran. Most of them were two-stories with fancy cars parked out front. I sighed and shook my head. Everything about this subdivision reminded me of the Keeton’s home.
Shaking my head, I ran faster, trying to push the memories away. Most of the houses sported American flags. I noticed them and wondered how many of these families actually knew members of the military.
Being in Virginia, it was safe to say that most people were patriotic, but that didn’t mean much. I’d found that patriotism didn’t always extend past a few flags and “I Support the Troops” bumper stickers. It used to frustrate me, but I was used to it now. I didn’t let it bother me as I continued down the street.
Running was second nature to me. After years of PT and physical exertion, my body needed the exercise to function. I wasn’t the kind of person who could survive off potato chips and sitcoms. If I didn’t run at least once a day, I would lose my mind.
Still, running through these suburban streets wasn’t what I craved. I already missed the rough terrains I used to traverse. My feet longed for rocky paths and bumpy trails. Deep down, I was happy to be a civilian again, but part of me felt lost, unsure.
When I first joined the navy, it was because I didn’t have anything else. The military was just a natural step. It didn’t mean much until I decided to become a SEAL. Then my life had purpose. I suddenly felt like the person I was always meant to be. Without that time, I knew my life would have fallen apart. I wasn’t the best kid or teenager. I was on the path that most foster kids take, a dangerous one. But the SEALs changed all that. They pushed me and inspired me, turning me into a man who was finally worthy of a good life.
As I jogged back to my apartment building, my mind drifted to my last mission. It was a success. Bradley and I both made it out alive, as did our team. Everything went smoothly, except for the insurgent I killed. Just thinking about it made my stomach clench. I forced the guilt away and turned a corner, stopping dead in my tracks.
My eyes fell on my front porch where a woman was standing. As I watched, she raised her knuckles and knocked on the door. She took a step back and waited for an answer that wouldn’t come.
With a frown, I walked slowly forward, taking in her appearance as I moved. She was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, with tennis shoes tied tightly on her feet. Her blonde hair was curled up into a neat bun at the back of her head. Something about her seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it. The closer I got, the more attractive she became.
She heard my footsteps and turned around. Her green eyes were hidden behind a pair of black rimmed glasses. They locked on my face, and she smiled nervously as she looked me up and down. I stepped in front of her, ready to introduce myself, when I suddenly realized why she looked familiar.
“Jacqueline?” I asked with wide eyes.
“Hey, Ryan,” she said, laughing lightly. “It’s good to see you.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed. “What are you doing here? How are you?”
“Bradley told me you moved here,” she said. “My clinic is just a few miles down the road, so I thought I’d stop by and see you. It’s been a long time.”
I nodded. “Nine years, right?”
“Something like that,” she said.
“Well, come here,” I said, walking over to her and giving her a hug. It was strange, and I pulled away quickly. She wasn’t the little girl I remembered.
I felt awkward just standing outside, but I didn’t know what to say. Seeing Jacqueline was a huge shock. The last time we were around each other, she was just a kid. At eighteen, I bolted without a second thought. I hadn’t seen Bradley’s little sister since.
“Do you want to come inside?” I asked.
She smiled. “Sure. That would be great.”
I stepped around her to unlock the door. We both walked inside, and I immediately felt self-conscious about my place.
“It’s kind of barren,” I said, scratching my head. “I haven’t had a chance to organize yet.”
Jacqueline shrugged. “No worries. It’s great.”
“Are you thirsty?” I asked. “I’m gonna grab some water.”
She nodded. “Water would be good.”
I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed two water bottles from the fridge. Walking back over to her, I tossed her a bottle, and she caught it easily. We both took a few sips and fell into an uneasy silence. There was so much to say, but neither of us knew where to start.
“So,” I finally said. “How have you been?”
She nodded. “Good. I’ve been good. Graduated vet school and moved out here. I’m working at a clinic now.”
“Yeah, Bradley mentioned something about that,” I said. It was true. Bradley often filled me in on his family, but I rarely listened. It was easier to pretend like they didn’t exist.
“We missed you at the party,” Jacqueline said softly. “It wasn’t the same without you.”
“I doubt that,” I scoffed. “I’m sure your parents had a great time.”
“They did,” Jacqueline admitted. “But it wasn’t the same for Bradley and me. We missed you.”
“Yeah,” I said, scratching my head again. Jacqueline meant well, but I didn’t want to talk about her family.
“It was good to see Bradley,” she said. “I’m glad he’s home for good now. I’m glad you both are.”
“It’s nice to be out,” I said with a shrug. “Still feels kind of weird, though.”
“It’ll take a while to adjust,” Jacqueline said. “Getting back into civilian life can’t be easy. For anyone.”
“It’s not,” I admitted. “But it’s nice.”
She smiled. “Yeah.”
We fell into another uneasy silence, glancing at each other every so often. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I didn’t want her to leave yet.
“Listen,” I said suddenly. “Are you hungry?”
“Um,” she said. “Sure, I could eat.”
“Let me grab a quick shower, and we can go get lunch,” I said.
Jacqueline nodded. “Sounds great.”
“Make yourself at home,” I said, gesturing toward the couch. “I’ll only be a minute.”
“Take your time,” she said. “No rush.”
I smiled and hurried into my bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I sighed deeply and ran my hands over my face. Seeing Jacqueline again was a total surprise. I wasn’t ready to face anyone from Bradley’s family, and the last thing I expected was for one of them to appear on my doorstep. Quickly, I walked into the bathroom and jumped in the shower.
As I showered, I let the water wash away my nerves. There was no reason I should feel so weird about seeing Jacqueline again. It had been years, but she was still Bradley’s sister. She, unlike her parents, never did anything to hurt me. She was just a sweet, innocent kid who was nice enough to drop by. I forced myself to calm down as I turned off the shower and got dressed. Having lunch with Jacqueline would be fun, just like old times. All I had to do was relax.