Chapter 6
Olivia
I woke the next morning with a soreness between my legs and a smile on my face. As I rolled over, my eyes slowly opened. Sunlight was streaming in through the curtains, and I squinted against its brightness. When I could finally look around, I saw that Brad was nowhere in sight. After we had sex the night before, I passed out almost immediately. He took me in a way that left me trembling and exhausted. It was amazing, incredible, and earth-shattering.
Part of me was disappointed to find him gone that next morning but I wasn’t surprised. He didn’t so much as leave a note but really, what did I expect? Hadn’t I already thought of this as a one-night stand even before we slept together? It wasn’t a bad thing that he was gone. Besides, I knew I would see him again on Monday morning when I went back to the shop to find out the prognosis on my Jeep.
Instead of dwelling on his absence, I decided to spend the day exploring. Even without a car, I could find something to do. Pushing myself out of bed, I grabbed a quick shower and then dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a comfortable T-shirt. I tied my wet hair back in a braid and slid on my tennis shoes. Once I was ready, I left my hotel room in search of something to see.
I found a little diner just down the road. There, I ate a quick and cheap breakfast before I continued my walk. Along the road, there wasn’t anything special, so I decided to venture out further. I wandered through a line of trees until I found a large clearing filled with dry dirt and cacti. I looked around with a smile on my face. Here in New Mexico, I knew I was surrounded by desert, but the trees had thrown me. I didn’t expect to see anything so barren so soon.
I smiled and took in the sights, taking a sip of the water bottle I’d bought at the diner. This was exactly the sort of thing I wanted to discover. Living in New York City prevented me from exploring the world. Sure, Central Park was great, but it wasn’t exactly nature. Surrounded by skyscrapers and city life, I never truly felt like I was part of the real world. In New Mexico, it was different.
I walked slowly, taking care not to wander too far from the road. My eyes roamed freely, taking in the cacti and different creatures. I saw a few snakes and steered clear of them. I made mental notes, promising myself I would paint this scene the second I returned to my hotel. My chest swelled as I sat down to take a rest, still smiling and feeling happier than I’d felt in years.
Despite my Jeep’s demise, this road trip had been everything I wanted. I’d stopped at various places, making sure to take a few hikes and see some nature. The interstates weren’t exotic or exciting, but sometimes, if I searched, I could find a stretch of land that took my breath away. It was sights like this desert plain that inspired me to keep going. I left New York hoping to see the world, and now that I had, I had no regrets.
It was hard to tell my parents I was leaving. They weren’t supportive or encouraging. To them, I’d already thrown my life away by pursuing a liberal arts degree. It was their hope that I would go back to school and study something practical: business or law. Neither of those sparked my interest, but because it was important to my parents, I considered it. I thought about what they wanted for me, and I weighed my options.
I told them I’d think about it, but first, I wanted to explore the world. My wanderlust was out of control, and I was desperate to see the world. When I pitched my idea for this road trip, they said no. They were determined to keep me in the city, to forbid me from leaving. I didn’t listen. I left anyway, and their anger was swift and intense. We hadn’t spoken much since I left but they called every few days to check on me.
It wasn’t much, but at least they cared enough to do that. Still, each time we spoke, my mother found a way to express her disgust for my life choices. She stressed that painting was a hobby and nothing more. She insisted my wanderlust was simply immaturity, and she berated me about coming home to start my “real life.”
It was frustrating, but this trip was worth it. Seeing the things I’d seen, painting the things I’d painted, it was enough to make my parents anger worthwhile.
As I sat in that clearing, sweating bullets and running through my water, I wondered what my mom would say if she saw me now. Would she yell at me for being so impractical or would she enjoy this view as much as I did? Deep down, I knew the answer, but I still hoped that one day, she would come around.
I made my way back to my hotel room, eager to paint the scene that was still fresh in my mind’s eyes. As I walked, I heard a sharp buzzing coming from my back. I dug out my phone and saw my mother’s face flashing across the screen. With a deep breath, I pressed accept and held the phone to my ear.
“Hi, Mom,” I said.
“Olivia, where are you now?” she said.
“Just outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico,” I told her.
“You haven’t much progress since we last spoke,” she said, disapproval in her voice.
“Well, I stopped to paint a few things,” I said.
“Of course,” she sighed. “When are you going to abandon that ridiculous hobby, Olivia?”
“Mom, it’s my passion.”
“Passions come and go,” she said. “You can’t build your life around them.”
“Some people do,” I argued.
“Some people,” she said. “Not us.”
“Listen,” I said, wanting to change the subject. “I’ll be stuck here for a few days. My Jeep broke down, and the auto shop can’t look at it until Monday morning.”
“What?” she asked. “What happened?!”
“I don’t know yet,” I said, keeping my voice level. “The mechanic said he’d look at it first thing Monday morning. Then we’ll go from there.”
“We aren’t paying for that, Olivia.” Her voice was cold and harsh. “You chose to disobey us by embarking on this little adventure of yours. Don’t think for one second that we’re going to bail you out of this mess.”
“I didn't think you would,” I said, though I had intended on putting the repairs on my emergency credit card.
“Then how exactly were you planning to pay for it?” she demanded. “Last I checked, you barely had enough money for gas and food.”
“I’ll figure something out,” I said softly.
“What, Olivia?” she said. “What are you going to figure out? How to grow money?”
“Mom, I can handle it,” I said. My voice was louder than I intended but I didn’t care. She was starting to piss me off.
“This is exactly why we didn’t want you to go,” she said. “You aren’t mature enough to handle this. You aren’t responsible. You’re just a spoiled little girl who doesn’t know the first thing about making it on her own. If you had listened to us, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“I’ll be fine.” I snapped. “I don’t need your money or anything else.”
“Your naïveté is going to be the death of you,” she said.
“Look,” I said. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you another time, Mom.”
“Olivia—” she began.
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone, feeling anger welling inside my chest. Talking to my mom was never a pleasant experience, but her insults were unforgivable. Not only was she leaving me stranded in a strange place, she was berating me for being a spoiled little idiot, which I was not.
I sighed and threw my phone in my bag, stomping toward my hotel. When I made it back to my room, I tossed my bag to the ground and fell back on the bed. I was hot and sweaty from my walk, and my anger didn’t help things.
My mother’s voice was still echoing in my head, “You aren’t mature enough. You aren’t responsible. You’re a spoiled little girl…”
These words and more ran through my mind, making my head spin and my stomach churned. I hated her for saying them, but I mostly hated myself for believing them. Until our conversation, I had planned on using my parent's credit card to pay for my Jeep’s repairs. Now I knew that wasn’t an option. That only problem, I didn’t have enough money to pay for it myself.
As I stared up at the ceiling, I knew I was fucked.