CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Mandy
I got up and jumped right into the shower, feeling alive again. Stephen did that to me, and I embraced the reality of it. I pulled my robe on and went to make some coffee before going back to do my makeup for the day. I did dark eyes and a pale, romantic pink gloss before putting on a gray skirt and a soft pink silk T-shirt. I went to pour a travel cup of coffee to take to work and sang along to a new song on the radio as I drove into work.
I couldn’t wait to see Stephen. I had to get into my office and work, but I did look down the hall to see Paul sauntering toward me with a smirk on his face. Normally he was handsome and funny, but there was something evil about him this morning.
I headed into my office and breathed a sigh of relief as he passed by my door. Maybe I’d ask Stephen to have lunch with me today so we could talk.
I smiled and sent him a flirtatious text to see if he wanted to join me for Italian. The silence was agonizing as I logged in to my computer to work on a spreadsheet that I finally understood. The last month had been kind to be, and I was back on my game for the most part, but the lack of any response after yesterday made me worry. Maybe he wasn’t here. Brandon could be sick again, and that made me worry more as I looked toward my door.
I was considering going down to see if he was okay when there was a tap at my door. I called out for them to come in and frowned when Paul walked in, leaving the door open. “It’s break time, Mandy. Want to go get some coffee with me?”
“Coffee?” I asked blankly as he nodded. “I can get that here. Why would I go with you?” Paul leaned over my small desk.
I stared at him, wondering what he was trying to do. I was with Stephen, wasn’t I? He hadn’t gotten back to me, but I was still with him. Nothing happened to tell me otherwise.
I heard footsteps and leaned around Paul’s body to see that Stephen was staring at us. He looked like shit; tired and stressed out as I opened my mouth. “Are you okay?”
He turned to leave, going back toward his office as I dropped back into my seat. Paul snickered, and I glared at him.
“What did you just do? I’m with Stephen, not you. That looked like we were, it looked so bad from that angle.” I ran my hands through my loose curls as he stepped back and looked me over.
His laugh caught me off guard. “Did you think that he really wanted you?” My face fell as all my insecurities set in. “Stephen has a son, and Brandon’s mom is hot as hell, but I suppose you don’t know too much about him at all. I guess you haven’t heard that she’s back in town now?” I knew that my face betrayed me as I tried to act casual. He seemed to feed off my pain. “He’s always loved her, Mandy. He couldn’t care about you like that. You were the new piece of ass in the office, and that’s all. Office’s always have a little scandal and some flings going on.” He shrugged. “Yours has ended. His son’s mom is back to replace you and whatever it is that you think you had. Go to the next guy. It wouldn’t be hard for you.”
I shook my head, remembering how Stephen hated his ex. It was obvious when he spoke of Brandon’s mother. His eyes had darkened to a shade of cold steel and he tensed up without even knowing it when he spoke about her.
“No. We’re good together. You’re trying to sabotage this. You’re lying.” I squared my shoulders and tried to stand my ground.
“I’m not. He told me himself, but I’m guessing that you didn’t know?” I raised my hand to my mouth and gasped. “You were just a place to warm his dick, honey. It’s obvious that you fucked him, Mandy. Job well done.”
“Asshole!” I cried out before slapping him—hard. “Get out!”
He laughed as he turned to leave, stroking his cheek gently. “You’re feisty. I like that, and I’m sure Stephen did too. Lacy probably will get a lot of benefit from that.” He closed my door, and I sank into my chair as hopelessness hit me.
My mother’s words for years played back through my mind. The insecurities that she pounded into my head took over any sense of hope that I might have had.
Brandon’s mother was back, and Stephen hadn’t told me. No, instead he’d fucked me in his office last night and then cooked me a late breakfast. There was no sign of her anywhere, but I realized that he hid me from Brandon. I didn’t spend the night and left soon after eating. That didn’t seem weird to me after the hours we’d spent together here in this building together.
The end result was the same as it had always been: I wasn’t Kate.
I never had been in my mother’s eyes and never would. It was something that hurt me for my entire life. Stephen was helping me to get over that, and I couldn’t help but to think about his sincerity with me as I played back the few but powerful memories about Stephen.
I sent an email to Martin, lying about having a sudden flu bug. Could I go home? He assured me that it was fine and he’d have some details for a new account for me in the morning.
I made it out of the office without shedding a tear, which I was grateful for. I cried like a baby all the way home, though, unable to help myself.
I was falling for Stephen and even his sweet son, and that was gone. I didn’t give a lot of men a chance, but I wanted Stephen. I gave myself to him entirely within a few days, and it seemed like he wanted the same things. Vanessa was in the kitchen when I arrived home. She looked at me in shock before wrapping her arms around me. “Why are you home? What’s wrong?”
I told her about my morning through tears as we dropped onto the couch. Vanessa had received a lot more comfort from me about men over the years, since I rarely dated and I was all in with Stephen.
Vanessa got the emergency ice cream from the freezer, even though it was only eleven in the morning. “What did I do wrong?”
“I think that you proved yourself to Stephen. I don’t know why he wouldn’t tell you about his ex being back in town, but maybe he’s confused as well. Maybe he doesn’t want her but wants to offer Brandon the chance to get to know his mother.” Vanessa soothed me as I stared at her.
“He slept with me last night, Vanessa. He didn’t say anything to me about her,” I told her as she shrugged.
“I don’t know, sweetie. I prefer to focus on the facts, since I’ve been through hell with guys. I always thought that you were so smart about staying mostly single. I do know that you didn’t do anything wrong, Mandy. You’re a great person. You’re so giving, and sometimes that’s going to hurt you.”
“It’s just so fresh after that dinner with Mom. She was so sure that I was making a mistake. Maybe she was right.” I ranted as she sighed. Vanessa had never liked my mom. I felt her anger rising off her body against me. “Kate can keep a man. Kate is getting married and going to have a perfect life.”
“No. She isn’t. I don’t dislike Kate at all, but her life isn’t perfect. She just gives that illusion. Your mom sees her through fucking rose-colored lenses. She’s going to destroy you with that shit,” Vanessa ranted as I started to cry. I was moving away from that mind-set being with Stephen, convinced that I was proving my mother wrong.
Now, I was right back where she put me, feeling like the unwanted daughter that would never please her mother or a guy. I wasn’t enough for anybody, and I needed to find my strength. I knew that it was there, but I had to do some digging to find it. I needed to do some digging to find myself again.
I needed to find everything I had with Stephen, needed to find something that makes me feel that alive.