CHAPTER 28
WELL, there had been no Turleens to my right, but one swooped up from who knew where and I landed on its back. Leaped again, to my left this time, to get back onto my path. But had to move into a somersault to avoid some more bullets.
Saw two Turleens heading for me, side-by-side again. So, did my best to land with my feet spread apart so that I had a foot on each one. It worked but I took no time to marvel. Bullets were peppering the air and most of the Turleens had had to stop being a living bridge to avoid getting hit.
Wondered at this for a moment, only because Muddy had seemed so unconcerned. Saw a bullet hit a Turleen and ricochet into one of our side’s planes. Realized the Turleens were breaking off to avoid inadvertently causing friendly fire more than to avoid getting hit themselves.
I was close enough to my target to feel the wind from the main rotor blades. Wasn’t going to be able to stay upright like this much longer. My Turleens realized it, too, and swooped underneath the chopper. Saw my opportunity and took it—jumped up and grabbed onto the landing gear.
Time to use the gymnastics skills I didn’t possess.
Was on one of the wheels and the leg that attached it to the chopper. This wasn’t a great place to be in that I didn’t have Joe and Randy’s android-enhanced limbs, and so couldn’t rip out the undercarriage and crawl in that way.
Could, however, reach the Hellfire missiles that were right next to me. Well, the term “right next to me” was overstating it a bit. I could see them and the right jump would mean I could grab onto a missile.
Had no idea how securely the missiles were clamped in before they were launched, but had to figure they were pretty secure since no one wanted a missile falling off just because the aircraft had hit turbulence.
Had lucked into jumping onto the side with all four missiles still in place. However, there was no doubt in my mind that the gunner was going to let all of them fly at Caliente Base as soon as possible.
This was confirmed by a missile from the other side firing. Watched its trajectory. Wasn’t aimed at the Base. Squinted and could make out bodies on the ground. Moving bodies. Meaning they were firing on either civilians or people coming to help. Time to stop worrying about the weakness of my plan.
Flung my legs up so that they wrapped around the wheel. Moved my body so that I was now sitting on the wheel, which sounds easy, but wasn’t. Thankfully, no one was around to hear my grunting. Holding onto the leg as tightly as possible, maneuvered myself so that my feet were on top of the wheel. Did this all at hyperspeed but it took longer than I liked because of how precarious my position was.
Finally managed to get where I wanted to be. Chose to not think about this at all and leaned out for the pylon holding the missiles. It was closer in this position than it had appeared when I was hanging off the wheel, so had that going for me.
Didn’t spend time marveling and instead climbed up the pylon to get onto the wing. Had to hold on because the wind resistance was incredible, with gusts coming from all directions.
My music changed to Pink’s “Blow Me (One Last Kiss).” Considered what Algar might be trying to tell me. Was in a good enough position so, left hand clamped onto the wing, reached into my purse. And came out with what certainly looked like a bomb that attached to metal.
Chose to say “thank you” in my head and slammed the sticky bomb onto the side of the chopper. The timer was set for fifteen seconds. Hit the green button and saw the counter go down to fourteen. Time to go.
Let myself slide off the back of the wing so I’d fall straight down and not risk getting sliced by any of the blades, main or tail.
However, this meant I was plummeting straight down. Tried to turn around in the air but couldn’t manage it. Had a great view of the rest of the aerial fighting. Our side appeared to be winning, with choppers on the ground or blown up. Winced in anticipation of slamming into the ground or, if I was really lucky, another Turleen.
Did hit, but not the ground or a Space Turtle. I hit a pair of strong arms.
“Oof!” Jeff said as he hugged me.
Looked up. “The chopper’s above us and it’s going to blow really, really soon.”
Jeff didn’t question—instead he ran us out of range. Just in time, as the chopper exploded and debris once again fell out of the sky.
“What are you doing here? Not that I’m not thrilled to see you and relive some of our nostalgic moments and all that.” We were far enough away, so took off my goggles and gloves and dropped them back into my purse.
“I’m here because, as usual, I didn’t want to watch my wife die. I know it’s a terrible failing, but I’ve learned to live with it.”
He didn’t put me down but flipped me so that he was holding me. Wrapped my legs around his waist. “Seems like old times. And they let you out of the meeting, let alone the complex?”
Jeff rolled his eyes. “Just who do you think could have stopped me?”
“Good point.” Hugged him tightly as I turned off my music, just to be polite to my heroic husband and all. “It’s great to see you. I’d totally make out right now because, as always, you saving me from going splat is a total turn-on, but we have an attack we need to ensure is over.”
“That’s what the armed forces are for.” And with that, Jeff kissed me, hard. Kissed him right back, because who was I to argue with the Leader of the Free World?
To his credit, Jeff ended our kiss sooner as opposed to later, but not so soon that I wasn’t ready to go for it right here. He looked more than a little smug about this, which was amusing in that I was pretty much always ready to go for it with him. But it was nice to know that he never took that for granted.
“Who else is here? I saw a bunch of bodies that one of the missiles was aimed for. And was anyone hit or hurt?”
“Chuck, Lorraine, Claudia, Christopher, and Serene came over with me, along with far too many Secret Service agents and about a dozen Field agents. No one was hurt, but only because we’d assigned Field teams to the Secret Service.”
“I thought Christopher and Serene were handling media stuff.”
“They decided helping everyone save the First Lady’s life and the lives of everyone at Caliente Base took precedence.”
“No need to sound so snippy, I wasn’t complaining that they were here.” Looked around. “Where is everyone?”
“Christopher is confirming that Caliente Base is cleared out. I sent Chuck and Serene off to ensure that law enforcement keeps people away from here, and they’re also wrangling the Secret Service. Lorraine and Claudia are handling the ones who refused to leave the area. In other words, the main details for you and me.”
“They’re doing their best.”
Jeff sighed. “I know. I think we need to assign A-Cs to those positions, though. Because no human Secret Service agent can do what the greenest Field agent can.”
“I could. Tim and James could, too. Don’t sell them short. Maybe we should train them like we train our human agents instead of trying to circumvent them all the time.”
“This from the woman who pointedly circumvents everyone all the time?”
“Blah, blah, blah, I just know their hearts are in the right place and I don’t want to just dump them from their life’s work because we’re faster than they are.”
“I don’t want to fire anyone. It may not matter soon, anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“The world is about to change, baby. Speaking of which, how do we get your newest friends to regroup over here?”
“Sadly, I have no idea. Put me down, would you?”
“If I must.”
“You must.” Jeff complied and I waved my arms. “Muddy! Lily! Other Turleens. Come to Kitty!”
“You talk to them like you talk to the Poofs and Peregrines?”
“Um, no, only just now.” Had a thought. “Poofs Assemble!”
Several Poofs including Harlie, the Head Poof, Poofikins, which was my official Poof, and Murphy, which was Jeff’s Poof, who he pretended wasn’t his special favorite with absolutely no success. They all purred at me.
“Kitty appreciates your support. Are you able to help me get the nice Space Turtles to disengage from the enemy? As fast as possible?”
Harlie mewed, then the Poofs disappeared. Sent a text to Lorraine telling her roughly where we were.
“What are they doing?” Jeff asked.
“I have no idea. I just hope whatever it is works.” Whatever it was did. The Turleens broke off and zoomed to where Jeff and I were standing. We were surrounded by little dirigibles in moments. Noted that several of the dirigibles had a Poof riding on them.
Lorraine, Claudia, Evalyne, Phoebe, and the first and second in command of Jeff’s Secret Service detail, Joseph and Rob, arrived at the same time.
“Poofs rock. Muddy, are you there?”
A dirigible near to us changed into Muddy and the Poofs bounded over and into my purse. Muddy bowed to Jeff. “It is an honor to meet the King of the World.”
Jeff groaned. “Please don’t call me that in front of anyone else.”
“We’ll work on that later.” Did fast introductions for Joseph and Rob. “Muddy, I want to get the Turleens to safety.”
“We are safe here, and will not desert the King and Queen of the World, or their retainers.”
“Why is he insisting on calling us that?” Jeff asked me.
“Haven’t had time to ponder that, Jeff. We’ve been busy.” Though I was certain that Muddy had a reason for it, because I was also certain that Muddy did not, for one moment, actually believe that Jeff and I were the king and queen of anything.
“Yes. Why were you up on that helicopter?”
“Which one are you referring to?”
“You were on more than one?” Jeff sounded ready to pop a vessel. Evalyne and Phoebe merely exchanged long-suffering looks.
“Not my fault you weren’t paying attention. And I’d like to point out that this entire situation is also not my fault.”
“It’s never your fault. Look, we need to get everyone out of here. Airborne will handle the cleanup.”
“Okay, but I think my team handled things well. The Turleens and I held off the opposing force until Airborne could show up.”
“True. And none of the crashed aircraft landed on top of Caliente Base, either, or in or near any other civilian areas. By a miracle I’m willing to ascribe to any deity who’d like to take the credit.” Jeff ran his hand through his hair. “But I want to get you out of here, baby.”
“Blah, blah, blah. This is now a disaster scene. Us being here shows how seriously we take any attacks on American soil.”
“Love the spin,” Jeff muttered.
“Kitty’s right, Jeff,” Lorraine said. “And you know it.”
“It’s a gift and a skill.” Took a look around. Sure enough, the fight was over, all choppers on the ground or blown up. Watched the team land the jets. “I don’t want to leave, and not just because I think we need to do the Frowny-Faced Photo Op to show that we’re taking anti-alien attacks seriously. We need to interrogate whoever’s still alive, and I don’t want them taken back to any of our bases. To anywhere, really. The DUI Dudes had trackers on them, which is how they found Caliente Base in the first place.”
“I understand what you’re saying only because Buchanan briefed me during Caliente Base’s evacuation. And before you ask, everyone is at Dulce, including the police dogs, except for the two Club Fifty-One True Believers. They’re with Buchanan, Siler, and Manfred, regretting the days they were born.”
“Where are they at?”
“Guantanamo, via a gate in Caliente Base. I can guarantee that they’re not going to get attacked there, but if they are, the Navy is primed and ready to shoot whoever down with extreme prejudice.”
“Go team. Where is John? And the two Turleens who were with him?” I asked Jeff and Muddy both.
“I have no idea,” Jeff said. “Wruck is confirmed to not be in Caliente Base or at Dulce. And there are no, ah, Turleens there, either.”
“I don’t know where they might be, either,” Muddy admitted. “The rest of our people are here, with you.”
Jeff looked around. “You aren’t a populous race, or are you the only ones seeking asylum?”
“We are quite populous, but we are the force chosen to ask Earth for asylum. The rest of our people are still on Tur.”
“Waiting for the other sentient races to take the Z’porrah’s offer? That seems kind of foolhardy.”
Muddy shook his head. “No, it is a precaution. The Aicirtap are heading for Earth.”