CHAPTER 99
WRUCK, MAURER, and Butler finally returned. “All cleared,” Wruck said. “There were casualties, but not as many as there would have been.”
“Our whole team is still alive and in one piece,” Jeff said. “I count that as a huge success.”
“Are the rest of your people going to stay in space or are they coming into our ship?” I asked Wruck.
He smiled at me. “I’m with my people.” He looked at the screen. “They are going to shepherd the Aicirtap to Earth.” As he said this, the Anciannas all broke formation and headed to Mars. “By the way, Mars is like the world the Aicirtap come from. Very sandy.”
“Will it need terraforming?” Chuckie asked, as Hughes relayed that we were all coming back to Alfred.
“Potentially. I think we need to determine what will happen to them first. As well as all the others. Some have no worlds left because of the Aicirtap and should probably have first choice in terms of relocation.”
“It’s the Z’porrah who should stand trial,” Claudia said. “This was all their fault, not the Aicirtap’s.”
Thought about what Algar might say. “They had free will. They chose of their own accord. They were lied to, or maybe they weren’t. We may never know. But they said yes.”
“You want them on trial?” Jeff asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t know how you get justice out of a situation like this one.”
“Commanders, we may have a problem,” Jerry said. “The Z’porrah ship is not being allowed to land. And to follow the current conversation through, we now have Z’porrah who are going to look like really perfect fall guys for everyone.”
“I don’t like their chances,” Joe said.
“Yeah, instead of Z’porrah, I’d call them Tomorrow’s Martyrs,” Randy added.
My music went to Motörhead’s “One More Fucking Time.” Had that right. Heaved a sigh. “It never ends. Chip, can you put the Z’porrah ship onscreen?”
“Absolutely Your Saviorship.”
“Hilarious.” Turned to Wruck. “You think these are the okay ones?” He nodded. “Great. I’d like Superman and the Martian Manhunter to come with me, please. The rest of the Justice League can stay in the helicarrier, heading home but paying attention in case we need help. In other words, Matt, make sure Alfred and the rest of the world know that Jeff and I are on that ship.”
Looked at the Z’porrah ship onscreen. Then, despite every fiber of my being telling me that nothing but evil was inside of it, hit my Beaming Bling.
Had to give the Bling this—the transfers were amazingly fast and so much better than gates. Figured I should keep this one to myself lest I hurt Jeff’s and every other A-C’s feelings. I was inside Dino-Bird Central, looking at what I and pretty much everyone on Earth considered our greatest enemies, in less than a totally nausea-free second.
The Z’porrah had heads that looked something like a humanoid version of an eagle’s, but with an impressive underbite. Unlike most birds, their eyes were more centered. As per every Z’porrah I’d seen, they were wearing what I thought of as Space Muumuus, with six large, painted talons sticking out from under each muumuu, and feathers sticking out of their long Space Muumuu sleeves. Knew that under the muumuus they looked like miniature Tyrannosaurus Rexes with wings. The likelihood that it was the Z’porrah who’d sent Cliff the Long Armed Rexie seemed very high.
The Z’porrah seemed thrown by my arrival. They all jumped. And then they all backed away, arms raised, feathers in front of their faces. This wasn’t a reaction I was used to from this race.
Wruck and Jeff chose to show up. “She comes in peace,” Wruck said.
“Presumably. Why are they terrified of me?”
“Perhaps it’s the big gun you’re brandishing,” Wruck said with a chuckle.
“Whoops. Sorry, Dino-Birds.”
Several of them put their arms down. “What did you call us?” this ship’s SpokesDino-Bird asked.
“Dino-Birds. Since you look like a dinosaur crossed with a bird. Sorry,” I said to Wruck, “but that really seems obvious. Are these, perhaps, the very slow of wit Z’porrah?”
He laughed. “No. They’re just extremely frightened. Think of them, and the Anciannas with them, as missionaries of different religions who were out in a very remote area, trying to convert the natives. Their home churches haven’t been in regular touch with them, they have more in common with each other, and so they started spending the off hours together. Sharing stories of their successes and failures, talking about home, recreating the friendship our two races had so long ago.”
“Then the Aicirtap attacked the planets we were helping,” the SpokesDino-Bird said. “We didn’t even realize that our people were responsible.” Could tell it was a male now. He shook his head and looked down. Something wet hit his talons, then the floor. Realized he was crying. “We couldn’t save any of them. Two worlds filled with young life and several sentient life-forms that had such promise, all destroyed.” He buried his beak in his feathers and sobbed. There was a lot of that going around.
Couldn’t help it. Handed Jeff my gun, went to the sobbing Z’porrah, and put my arms around him. They were my height, so it was easy. “It’s okay. Well, it’s not, not really, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t cause this.”
He cried harder. “We, all of our survivors on this ship, have longed for a return to peace with the Anciannas. Their survivors with us have longed for the same. We had hoped that, using the two planets, we could show that we were better together. And now . . .” He kind of collapsed against me, wrapping his wings around me, sobbing his little Dino-Bird heart out.
“This is La’fean,” Wruck said. “He is the leader of these Z’porrah.”
“I don’t deserve to be,” La’fean sobbed.
Looked around. The rest of the Z’porrah looked stricken and many were also crying, though not as dramatically as La’fean. “Do you all feel that La’fean isn’t qualified to lead?”
The rest shook their heads. “He just feels responsible,” one of the others said. Was certain it was a female. “He cared so much about our flocks. To have them destroyed so utterly and then to discover it was due to our own people?” She shook her head. “We all wonder if we should not just tell Earth to do to us what they will, because we’ve failed.”
“No,” Jeff said strongly. “Wars happen. Horrible things happen. But you’re all something that I can guarantee my wife and I never thought we’d meet—Z’porrah who seem just like us. Not our enemies. Not filled with hate. And it’s vital to our world and this galaxy that you prove that the Z’porrah can be peaceful and loving, not just to each other, but to everyone else, as well.”
Thought about Christopher’s concerns from however long or short ago it was—was this all an elaborate ruse to get a whole spaceship full of Z’porrah spies onto the planet?
My music changed to “Nobody’s Fault,” by Aerosmith. Figured Algar was using the biggest musical gun he had, since my view was that if my boys were saying it, it must be true.
“No one here is to blame,” I said. “No one is going to offer themselves as martyrs, and no one is giving up leading their people just because they’ve had a really horrible week.”
“Earth is still not giving us permission to land,” a different Z’porrah said.
“Really. Well, I’d like the com then.” Handed La’fean off to the nearest Z’porrah and went to the seat that was being offered.
“Would you like a headset?” this Z’porrah asked politely.
“Nope. I’d like this on speaker, if at all possible. And if there’s a way to connect this to the helicarrier we came from that would be extra special. I’d like to connect to the helicarrier first and not have whoever on Earth we’re chatting with hear the conversation.”
He nodded as he fiddled with some buttons and knobs. “You’re on with the helicarrier, secured line.”
“Kitty, nuclear warheads are aimed at the Z’porrah ship,” Jerry shared. “Aimed from the United States, Russia, France, Israel, the UK, China, Pakistan, and India.”
“North Korea isn’t joining the party?”
“I don’t think they’ve dug out from under their last attempt.”
“Good to know. Okay, I’m ready to go live to whoever’s being a cranky pants.”
The Z’porrah chuckled and did some more button and knob fiddling. “You’re on with Earth.”
“Hey there, who’s on the other end of this line? Oh, and as a mention, the last time I asked that question, someone almost fired nuclear weapons at me. I believe that my reaction to that has become something of a legend. Trust me when I say that the legend probably doesn’t do justice to how enraged I really was. So, choose your next words really hella carefully.”
“Kitty? It’s Fritz Hochberg.”
“Fritzy! Why aren’t you allowing the only nice Z’porrah, potentially in the entire galaxy, to land? Was them begging in terror while fleeing the deadly hordes not enough for you?”
“Ah, is Jeff there?”
“I am. My wife has the com. Consider that before you say anything else.”
Hochberg cleared his throat. “Ah ha. Ha ha. We weren’t sure what was going to happen when you two once again broke protocol and headed off to fight space invaders.”
“Or, as we call it, Friday. That’s us, rule breakers who have the nerve to not want to risk any of our people when we know we’ve got the best chance of success. We both feel really badly that we didn’t just sacrifice thousands of our young people to fight a war we managed to circumvent without any bloodshed on our side.”
“You’re all unharmed?”
“Got it in one. I’m sure everyone will be happy to know that we’re unscathed. And, funny story, we used the weapon that the Mastermind created to kill everyone on Earth to, instead, save the Aicirtap from themselves. The ones that are still alive are back to what they once were. And there was much rejoicing and all that. And their fleet is coming right behind us, being escorted by what I know you want to call angels but what are, in fact, Anciannas, or Ancients as we call them. Following me so far?”
“Yes. You want to allow the formerly invading hordes to land because you’ve made them nice people again?”
“Fritzy, that was amazingly succinct. Go you. So what’s the holdup?”
“The rest of the world is a little . . . unsure.”
My music changed. To Queen’s version of “God Save the Queen.”
Heaved a sigh. “I was trying not to do this. But if everyone’s going to suddenly stop singing “We Are The World” and, instead, go back to singing “Every Man For Himself,” then I am going to be forced to remind you that Jeff and I both have another rank. We’re both quite happy to not shove that rank in everyone’s faces. However, that stops when the rest of you are going to choose to be dangerously obstinate and stupid.”
“We can’t tell the rest of the world what to do, Kitty,” Hochberg said worriedly, as Guns N’ Roses sang “Rocket Queen” to me. Algar really liked the Queen thing. Clearly it was a hint. Was too tired to argue.
“America cannot, that’s very true. So I’m not speaking as the First Lady. I’m speaking as the Queen Regent of the Annocusal Royal Empire, known on Earth as American Centaurion. And I’m just going to bet that our emperor is already on the line, calling up troops to hyperjump right over here and explain that we need to start, right here and right now, learning when to hold ’em, when to fold ’em, when to walk away, and when to run, while at the same time never counting our money while sitting at the table. Or have you forgotten what saved every world leader last night?”
“Ah . . . Kenny Rogers?”
“Not that I noticed.” Maybe Kenny had been there. There’d been a zillion people, so anything was possible. My stomach grumbled. Now I wanted a roasted chicken with all the extra-large sides. And about a gallon of Coke. And then more chicken. Yeah, it’d been a long while since I’d eaten.
Jerry broke in. “American, UK, Israeli, and Russian missiles have disengaged.”
“Good job, Fritzy. It’s nice to know that you’re not trying to assassinate the President. We’ve had enough of that for a good long while.”
“I just needed to verify that Jeff was alive and well,” Hochberg said huffily.
“Whatever. So, half the world has decided to trust us. That’s nice. I know who the other half is, in case anyone on Earth isn’t aware that I know that China, India, Pakistan, and France are still aiming nukes at this ship that I happen to be on. Really, France? That’s how you’re doing us?”
“France’s missiles have disengaged,” Jerry shared.
“That’s better. For the last three, the last one of you to disengage is pretty much telling me that their leaders didn’t appreciate being saved yesterday. Or else they think they’re going to take over. The thing is, all those Aicirtap ships all do have weapons on board. I’d consider playing the cooperation game sooner as opposed to later. Big Queenie is watching.”
“China, India, and Pakistan have all disengaged.” Jerry said, clearly trying not to laugh. “They all did it pretty much at the same time.”
“That’s better. We’re going to be landing the Aicirtap in the Arizona and New Mexico desert areas, and before everyone there freaks out, on American Centaurion lands. The Z’porrah ship, however, is going to land on the Potomac. Get the area cleared of ships and such. Now.”
“The Air Force and Navy are prepping for your arrival,” Hochberg said.
“Good. I assume it’s to greet us as opposed to try to shoot us?”
“Of course it’s to greet and protect you! Why in the world would it be anything else?”
“Fritzy, let’s just say that it’s been a long couple of days and leave it at that.”