I don’t have to turn around to know Andi’s eyes are on me. I feel them burning through the towel that’s wrapped around my waist. She still has that effect on me, even though I’ve done everything in my power to suppress those emotions. My fucking heart betrays me each time I look at her, even through my anger, and even though I know it’s that little runt Owen she wants.

Glancing over my shoulder, I catch her eye. A blossom of color spreads from her neck up to her cheeks. I almost laugh, but I don’t because I wish it were real. I wish it were because she wants me exactly the way I want her.

“Dada, Mama’s here.”

My thoughts are broken by Violet as she teeters around Andi and heads straight for my legs. A chuckle breaks loose from me, as the Little One grabs my calves and then looks up at me with her goofy grin. I snatch her and toss her up in the air, threatening to dump her into the water. She screeches and giggles simultaneously as I see Andi’s look of horror.

“Don’t worry, Andi. I won’t endanger our daughter. If she goes in, so do I.”

She visibly relaxes, so I add, “If you’re not too tired, why don’t you put your suit on and join us?”

Mom walks out and says, “I’m making dinner, Andi, so there’s plenty of time for you to relax if you want.”

“Uh, okay,” Andi says. She turns around and heads inside. Mom offers me a smile.

“Come on, Little One. Let’s get in the pool.” Violet claps and I lose the towel that’s around my waist. She immediately splashes me in the face as soon as we get in, and I splash her back. Violet isn’t one of those kids who hates to get her face wet, of which I’m happy.

“Under,” she says.

“You know what to do,” I say. She bobs her head as I blow in her face. Then I do a quick dunk. She comes up laughing. It’s at that particular moment Andi walks out.

“What are you doing?” she asks, panicked.

“Teaching her to hold her breath,” I answer calmly.

“You can’t do that.”

Violet smacks the surface of the water with her hands, grabbing our attention. “Dada, under again.”

I shoot a pointed look at Andi and say, “Okay, remember to hold your breath.” I blow in her face again and do another quick dunk, then pull her back up. She’s laughing as soon as she clears the surface.

Andi watches in fascination. “Is that how they do it?”

“I’m not sure about they, but it’s how I do it,” I say.

Violet kicks her legs and says, “Swim.” I put my hands under her back and help her float. She kicks and we move about the pool.

“Violet, what should you never ever do?”

“No swim lone.”

“Right. Always be with Mama, Nana, Grammy, or me.”

“Yeah.”

The three of us swim for a while and I hand Violet off to Andi and observe the two of them together. Andi looks amazing in her too-tiny bikini. There’s no evidence at all she ever had a child, and again I’m reminded of how I should’ve been there.

Mom’s words come back to me, and if I’m honest, they even haunt me a little. In my anger, I didn’t stop to think of what Andi must’ve gone through, being alone and on her own, caring for a newborn. She had to work and didn’t have anyone to rely on for help. She must’ve been scared shitless. I know I would’ve been. Many women might have buckled under the pressure, but not Andi. She remained strong and did a great job with Violet, even taking the time to make sure she knew who her father was.

No, it wasn’t ideal for me, but did she have to do that? She could’ve lied to me had she wanted to. She didn’t have to tell me the truth. I never would’ve known. Maybe I would’ve figured it out, so nix that, but whatever. I can’t totally hate her for what she did. People make mistakes. Yeah, I’ve made a shit ton myself. Maybe I need to rethink this whole thing with her. But then again, there’s that Owen issue. Perhaps if I keep them apart long enough, she’ll forget about him. But then that makes me an asshole, and I don’t want to be that guy.

I need to clear the air with her once and for all. But dumping all this on her at once is entirely too much. I’ll wait and do it a little at a time. If I take long enough, maybe she will have forgotten him by then.

“Dada. Airplane. Dada. Plane.”

I’ve been so bogged down in my thoughts, I didn’t hear Violet calling me.

“Coming.” I swim over and grab her out of Andi’s arms. Then I lift her high in the air and pretend to be an airplane, swooping low over the water, then back high again. Her arms and legs kick in excitement. She loves this.

Andi’s voice comes to me from over my shoulder. “You’re going to spoil her.”

“I plan on it.”

“Thanks. I can see it now. You’re at practice and it’ll be, airplane, under, this or that. I won’t be able to keep up. I’ll be chasing her all over the place.”

“Probably so, but tell me you won’t love it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve never been a stay-at-home mom, so it’ll be different.” Then she picks up Violet’s hand and says, “Monkey Bear, it’s time to get out. You look like a raisin. Look at your fingers.”

They’re shriveled up as can be.

“Dada, look.” She holds them out for me to see. Then I show her mine look the same, and she likes that.

“Come on, Little One. Time to get out and ready for dinner.”

Andi wraps Violet in one of the many towels out here, and then wraps herself in one, while I do the same. Together, we walk inside.

“You didn’t say, but I guess your flight went well?”

“Yeah, it was great. Thanks for handling everything for me. I really appreciate it. And the apartment too.”

“It’s good. I want you happy here.”

She offers me a smile. “This house is amazing. I guess I need to unpack.”

“Sure. Did one of the moms show you which room is yours?” I ask.

“Yeah. Are you sure you want me to have the master?”

“Actually, all the bedrooms are like that.”

“Seriously?”

Laughing, I answer, “Yeah, unpack and when you’re finished, let me know. I’ll show you around. Violet’s room is great. I had to buy her a few things for her toys and such, but everything else was furnished.”

She goes to take Violet and I say, “I’ll take her. You go take care of your things. Meet us downstairs when you’re done.”

“Thanks. Oh, Chase, your nose looks a lot better.”

“Yeah, it’s good. I had it checked here and I’m cleared to play. I have to wear a face shield for six weeks, but other than that, I’m good.”

I take Violet and change her into clothes and run her downstairs to her nana. Then I go back up to change. When I’m finished, I walk over to Andi’s room and knock on the door.

“Come in.”

“It looks like you’ve got a lot done.”

“There’s a whole other suitcase I haven’t opened yet.”

“Oh, I didn’t see that one. You doing okay?”

She glances around and nods. “Yeah, I am. It’ll be an adjustment, and there will be things I miss, but …”

I’m pretty sure she’s referring to Owen.

“About your work. It’s not going to be easy like we talked about. And with Violet, I thought it might be easier if you were here with her.”

“I agree. Maybe when she’s older or something. I’ll cross that bridge, you know.”

“Look, Andi, I do want you to be happy. And I want us to be … well, I want us to provide a wonderful home for our daughter. That’s my number one priority.”

“Sure, yeah, me too.”

There are so many things I want to say to her, but it’s awkward and I can’t get the words to form on my tongue. Instead, I find myself offering her a smile and then walking out the door. It’s not exactly what I had in mind, but then again, Rome wasn’t built in a day either. Maybe somehow we can find a way to rebuild what we had. And if not, I’ll be one miserable son of a bitch with her living under my roof.