After Chase explains the plans, I shake my head. “They’re just things. Most of it I don’t really care about. But Violet’s going to want her bear, Mr. Giggles, and CoCo, the doll you bought her.”

“Max can get those.”

“He can,” I admit. “I don’t have anything worth that much but my grandmother’s ring. I can’t lose it.”

Tears burst from my eyes and I cover my face, feeling stupid for wanting a ring when my daughter is ill.

Chase tugs me against him and strokes a hand down my back.

“It’s fine. I can go get it. The doc says Violet is stable. Plus, she’s sleeping.”

I step out of his embrace. Because it had been wishful thinking, I wasn’t prepared.

“I’ll go. There are things I need.”

I give him a knowing look I hope he gets so I don’t have to spell it out again about my body’s failures. I’ve failed Violet twice. Maybe it’s fate for me not to be a mother again. I turn from Chase. It’s selfish of me to cry in front of him when I should be putting up a brave front for them both.

Chase comes over. “Max is coming to pick you up.” He tips my chin. “It’s going to be fine.”

I nod slowly, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

By the time I make it back to the house, I don’t hear what Max says. I drift through the door like a lone tumbleweed over cracked earth on a desert plain.

First, I pack a few things for Violet, including clothes and her favorite toys and books. When I’m done, I stand in the doorway and remember when I first arrived and how the room had become a home.

Covering my mouth, I escape the thoughts of long-past happy times and go into my room. It looks exactly like the day I arrived. I grab the handful of jewelry I own and a few other things for myself. Then I take a shower and cry. I let it all out so that when I go back to the hospital I can be strong again.

“Are you okay?” Max, a good-looking older man, asks.

He isn’t ancient, just some years older than we are. He has a kind smile and eyes that see more than I want him to.

“I will be. I’m going to get a few things for Chase just in case.”

He agrees and I go into our room. I look at the tangle of sheets and remember how happy I’d been. I quickly get a bag together for him and I’m reminded how I’m not sure if I got all his favorite things.

Suck it up, I chide myself. In the back of my mind I worry that Chase is thinking about all the time from his daughter I stole from him. Or maybe that’s my guilt.

I inhale and let it all out before walking out.

“I’m ready.”

I glance around and hate that Chase is letting this place go. It’s where we found each other again. I’m not going to tell him. It’s just sentiment that’s not important. Home is where the heart is and all that.

When we arrive back, Violet is awake and asking for food. She has a smile on her face that takes all my worries away. The doctor stops me before we enter.

“We can only take so much blood from you in any given week. And Chase as well. Do you want to use donor blood?”

I meet his gaze. “Is it necessary? I don’t want to add any more risks.”

He nods. “She should be fine with what we have, but I’m not sure how long the good effects will last. When you get to the States, she may need more. If you unwisely donate again, you’ll be putting yourself at risk.”

Though I nod, I would give my life for hers if necessary.

“Look who’s here. It’s Mama,” Chase says.

Violet holds out her hands and I go over to hug her.

“I brought Mr. Giggles and CoCo.”

She takes my offerings and hugs them and gives them each a kiss. Chase grins at me. Though I smile along with them, I know this good feeling won’t last.

By the time we get on the plane, I’m exhausted. With Violet cradled to my chest, I close my eyes and drift off. I wake with Chase taking our sleeping daughter from my arms.

“There’s a bed in the back. She’ll be more comfortable,” he says.

I nod and close my eyes just for a second. When Chase wakes me up again, I’m surprised and alarmed. I hadn’t meant to fall back asleep, but the worry in his eyes has me trying to jump out of my seat only to be tethered by the seat belt.

“What’s wrong?” I ask while trying to get the damn thing off.

It’s a stupid question. I know what’s wrong.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but she’s getting warm.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine,” I add and take a breath. The dark circles under his eyes say that he’s tired too. “Get some rest. I’ll give her some medicine and she’ll be better soon.” I’m proud of how sure I sound. But I need him to get some sleep.

When I stand, I kiss him soundly on his lips and then pat his arm, urging him into the seat. Reluctantly he does, but I’m not sure how long he’ll stay. I make my way to the back of the plane I’d barely taken notice of when we boarded.

I pass a table flanked by leather benches and wood grain cabinetry so fine I’m not sure I can touch it. It’s certainly fancy. Through the open door, I see Violet curled up with a light blanket covering her. Mr. Giggles is tucked under her arm. She hadn’t clung to toys before Chase bought her some. Now she hangs on to the bear like a lifesaver.

Brushing hair from her flushed face, I feel the beginnings of a fever. For a minute, I can’t remember where I stashed the medicine, but then I spot the mini backpack I’d tucked everything she’d need in. I ignore the thermometer and pull out the small notebook where I’d recorded the time she’d gotten her last dose of medicine. I hadn’t put it on my phone so it would be accessible for both Chase and me.

I check the time. I’d slept most of the flight. I wake her and give her a dose of Tylenol, which should hold her off for another few hours until we reach Nashville. She quickly falls back asleep, barely up long enough to swallow the medicine. I press a kiss to her head, and when I turn, Chase is there.

“You scared me,” I say with my hand to my heart.

“Is she okay?”

I run a hand over my head and sigh. “She’ll be fine. You should rest.”

“I’m good.”

I close the distance between us. “You haven’t slept. I can take this watch. Why don’t you lie down next to her? I’m sure you’ll both sleep better.”

He draws me on the bed with him. We sandwich our daughter between us as he threads his fingers through mine.

“Tell me it will all work out,” he says.

To hear him say that freaks me out. He’s been the strong one, and now he’s asking me.

“It will. They will need to make her stable before any bone marrow transplant. She’ll need chemo before that, so they need her as healthy as possible before they tear down her immune system.”

“Sometimes I forget you’re a nurse. That wasn’t exactly reassuring,” he says.

I squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry. It’s—” I blow out a frustrating breath. “I’m scared, but this is something that happens every day, unfortunately, and is a tried-and-true practice. I have faith in our daughter’s recovery because I can’t survive any other outcome.”

He says nothing and we lie there quietly. Gratefully, exhaustion pulls him under. Gently, I get up because I can’t sleep. I need to watch over her to make sure the medicine takes hold. Otherwise, I’ll need to sponge her down with a cool cloth to keep the fever at bay.

When we land, it’s too soon for Chase. He hasn’t had enough rest.

“I’ll be fine,” he says when I put a hand to his cheek.

He carries Violet to our car service not too far from the plane. We land at a private airport to streamline everything. Still, we have to show passports to get cleared.

When we arrive at the hospital, there is an overwhelming amount of paperwork. Gratefully, our families are here waiting for us. Tears I’ve held at bay rain down my cheeks when I see Mom. Her arms wrap around me briefly and I wish she could make things better like she used to when I was a kid. Chase’s mom gives him the third degree for not getting enough rest. But I can see the worry in her eyes, just like in my mom’s.

“I can take care of all this,” Chase says.

“I’ve got this. Go see to our families.”

I have health insurance through my job’s Cobra program. Chase can pay, but why not use the benefits we have available to us? Whatever it doesn’t cover, he can take care of.

After she’s settled in her large private room and once again asleep, I stand with the family huddled at the opposite end.

About that time, my brother Mark rushes into the room. He’s alone because his girlfriend is on tour and couldn’t leave to come with him. His eyes have a wild look about them as he searches the room, but when they land on me, he relaxes a bit.

I’m grateful he’s here. He’s Violet’s savior, her best match for a donor.

“Tell me what you need me to do. I’m here for as long as you need,” he says. Then I run into his arms and have a major breakdown.