It’s hard to watch your child sick or hurt. I sit in a chair with my gloved hand stroking Chase’s silky hair. Exhausted as we both are, he falls asleep talking. At least I’d gotten a nap, so I don’t move where I sit in fear I’ll wake him or Violet.

I use the back of my free hand to wipe at my silent tears. The latex doesn’t exactly do a great job of removing the moisture, but it’ll have to do since Chase and I have to wear gloves, masks, and gowns to be around Violet now that her immune system is basically nonexistent. Since they are both resting at the moment, I don’t have to be strong in front of either of them.

We send Fletcher and Cassie home. She has a business to run and there’s nothing they can do at the moment. My parents and Chase’s are both retired. They are back at the hotel with Mark, who can work from anywhere.

I get off the phone from telling them about Violet’s fever, which had spiked, but finally they’ve gotten it under control. I pray for nothing short of a miracle with the bone marrow transplant. I don’t want Violet to have to undergo this procedure again.

Then I think about my baby or lack thereof, which only makes me cry harder. There hasn’t been time for Chase and me to even think about sex or another child.

As if he hears my thoughts, he stirs.

“Sorry,” he mutters, sitting up from where his head had rested on my shoulder.

Then he notices my tears, and before I can wipe them away, he’s there leaning in and kissing my temple, or doing his best imitation of it through his mask.

“She’s going to make it,” he says and uses the pads of his thumbs to remove the moisture from my face.

His conviction is as strong as ever. I pull on a brave face and nod.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s Beth. I signal to Chase I’m going to take the call outside.

“Hey,” I say into the phone as the door clicks shut behind me.

“Andi, oh, girlie. I wish I could be there for you.”

“I know, but there’s nothing you can really do.”

There’s nothing I can do either, but I keep my feeling of helplessness to myself.

“It’s awesome your brother is a match.”

I don’t go into the details. I’d texted her the details about how he’s only a fifty percent match.

“Yes, it’s like a miracle.”

Though the odds were in our favor that a nonblood-related person would be a match, the odds of that person somehow being a part of my family was one in a million.

“You know if you need me, I’ll drop everything and come.”

I laugh, though it’s with little humor. “And get fired? What about Joshua?”

“We don’t have to talk about me,” she says.

“No, really, give me something else to think about.”

She distracts me for five minutes with a tale that has my head spinning.

“No way,” I say.

“Yes.”

Just when I think she’s about to explain, Chase pokes his head out and I hear Violet murmuring something.

“She’s asking for you.”

Guilt rushes in that I wasn’t there when she woke up.

“I have to go,” I tell Beth.

“Yes, I hear. Give her my love and call me anytime.”

I agree and end the call, hurrying over to Violet’s side, just in time for her to throw up. I don’t get horrified. Instead, I tell her all is fine when it isn’t.

The next few days are horrific, but the doc has cleared her for the procedure.

“Everything looks good. We’ll take your brother back in the next hour,” the doc says before leaving the room.

“I’m going to go talk to him.”

Chase nods and I lightly kiss Violet’s cheek through the mask I’m required to wear before leaving. She’s out at the moment and it’s a good time for me to sneak off and talk to my brother.

He lies in bed with Mom and Dad huddled nearby. I take his hand and remember all the times my big brother took care of me, and here he is doing it again.

“Mark, there are no words for what this means to Chase and me.”

He squeezes my hand. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, sis, and especially for my niece.”

I lean in and hug him. For so long, I felt lost, like not knowing who my biological parents were mattered. In the end, it hasn’t. They gave me the greatest gift, a family: one who loves me unconditionally.

“I love you so much, big brother. I always have, even when I’m pissed at you.”

He grins and the door opens. I turn to see Riley, who looks flushed like she’s been running.

“You’re here.”

She and I had talked the night before. She’d sworn me to secrecy that she was coming in case she didn’t make it in time because of her tournament.

“Hey,” my brother says with moon eyes at the woman I suspect he’s loved since they were little. “I didn’t think you could come.”

I give her a quick hug and step away so he can have time with her. When she leans in to kiss him, I indicate to him and my parents that I’m leaving.

The procedure is free of a lot of risks, I tell myself. I have nothing to worry about. Mark will be fine.

A couple of hours later, a nurse comes into Violet’s room and hangs the bag filled with Mark’s precious gift of bone marrow. Chase and I watch as it runs down the line into her port where the engraftment will begin.

I turn in his arms and a sob escapes me. His hold tightens and silently we take comfort in each other.

“Oh, sorry.”

I glance up to see Riley poke her head into the room. Chase lets go of me and hugs his cousin. “Thank you for coming,” he murmurs through the open door.

“I just wish there was more I could do,” she says.

He nods. “Is Mark awake?”

“He is. I had to know he was okay before …”

I walk over to the door.

“I’m glad you were there. I couldn’t be in two places at once.”

We were both torn between two people we love.

“They’re both strong. And Violet’s getting his marrow that will make her even stronger.”

Overcome with emotion, I walk over and hug her. When we pull apart, Chase says, “Do you mind staying with Andi for a few minutes? I’d like to talk to Mark.”

We watch him walk away. Riley enters the room and goes through the procedure of putting on gloves, mask, and gown. Her mask moves and I’m not sure what she’s going to say. “You know I’m hopelessly and utterly in love with your brother.”

The giggle that escapes me is a sure indication that I need this respite from all the worries I have.

“I know. When you would come for the holidays, I caught you both sneaking glances at each other. At first, Chase and I thought it was so gross, especially when we caught his brother and Cassie making out.”

She laughs. “It was never the right time. When he finally made that first move, we were moving to California. Then when I came back, he was with someone or I was.”

“You didn’t miss much.” I point my finger to my mouth and mime gagging. “Those girls were …” I roll my eyes and we both giggle again. Then I sober. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”

Her face is alight with humor. “What’s that?”

“Never once have I seen him look at someone like he looks at you.”

Her hand moves over her heart. “He’s amazing.”

I nod. “He is. He’s one of the best guys I know. And I’m glad you two found each other.”

She takes my hand. “And you … Chase. I’ve never seen him so happy.”

We laugh. “Isn’t it funny how everything worked out? When Fletcher left and Cassie married that other guy, I thought if it couldn’t work for them, how could it work for Chase and me? She asked him to choose between his career and her and he chose football. I didn’t want to make that same mistake.”

I can tell by the look Riley’s giving me that she knows what I’ve never admitted out loud before. “So when Chase got the chance to go play soccer.”

“Football,” I correct.

She grins. “Okay, football. You encouraged him to go because you were afraid he wouldn’t choose you either.”

“Yes.” It feels like such a weight is lifted off my shoulders to admit it. “Though I have to say, I think he wanted me to go with him. But I had dreams of my own, college and nursing school.”

Neither means anything now. All that time had been wasted when I could have had him. In the end, he and Violet have always been my choice.

“But you found each other again, like I have your brother. Now it’s up to the both of us not to mess that up.”

She’s right. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for either of them. Nothing. So I sit and curl my hands around the Styrofoam cup. I vaguely wonder what Chase is saying to my brother.