Using my knuckles, I knock lightly on my neighbor, Owen Kazynski’s, door who lives down the hall. When he opens it, his smile warms the hallway.

He studies my face before asking, “Hey, you. Did you get enough sleep?”

He’s an attractive man with a kind soul. We quickly bonded as friends after our first meeting.

Sheepishly, I smile back. “Thanks for helping me out.”

He swings the door wide and I enter his apartment, which is a mirror of mine. We stop at the kitchen space to the left of the hall.

“Are you hungry?”

My stomach gives out a shout. I tilt my head to the side in a half-shrug. “Sure.”

He moves to the microwave and pulls out a covered plate. “I saved some breakfast for you.”

He’s a blessing and a godsend. Sometimes I wonder if he’s not an angel in disguise. “You’re too good to me.”

He’s always doing little things like this. We look out for each other and have since he moved in a few years back. His wife died of cervical cancer, leaving him a single dad. With mounting bills for her failed treatments, he’d been forced to sell their house and move here.

“I was cooking anyway. Not too hard to add a portion for another person.”

I take the plate and sit at his small table to dig in.

“What are your big plans for your day off?”

Holidays are pooled each year. I’d worked Christmas, and for that, I got New Year’s Day off.

“I don’t know. What about you?” I ask between bites.

“My in-laws have offered to babysit.”

My eyes widen. Since his wife’s death, they haven’t exactly been close. “You should totally take advantage.”

I think about my parents and how much I miss them. It’s been over two years since I’ve been home. Owen can read me well and is quick to ask about them.

“Have you told them yet?”

Guilt assaults me. I slump, putting my chin in my palm as I rest my elbow on the counter. “My brother, Mark, is furious with me. He says I’m making Mom cry. He’s even offered to pay for my flight if that’s what it takes to get me home.”

“So go.” He makes it sound easy with his cheerfulness.

“How can I have him pay for my flight when I’m using money to pay a private detective to find my birth mom?”

Though my search isn’t the primary reason why I’m staying away from home. I cover my face with my hands, willing myself not to cry. I’m torn between my parents and searching for a part of me I need to know.

“Andi.”

Owen’s patience is like a smoothing balm, but my soul has been in chaos these past few years.

“No, I’m such a bad daughter. How can I keep secrets from them?” My voice comes out soft and muffled as I speak more into my hand than to him.

“So tell them the truth.” He pulls my hands from my face and I stare into his earnest one. “From all you’ve said, they’ll forgive you.”

I nod. “They will after I endure their disappointment in me. Besides, Mark forced my hand by giving me an open-ended ticket to come home as a Christmas present. And with Ryder and Gina’s wedding soon, I’ll have to go back and face the music anyway.”

“Who will you take as your plus one?”

“No one, I guess.”

There has only ever been one guy.

“What about that guy, Chase?”

Hearing his name makes my heart grow tight in my chest.

“No, he’s getting married.” I gaze into space a second before blinking. “And I should be happy about that.”

As I stare a hole in the wall, wondering if I could go to Chase’s wedding, Owen cuts into my thoughts.

“You know what? You and I should go out and have drinks.”

I’m about to answer when Holly comes tearing around the corner to her dad.

“Daddy, Vilet doesn’t know where Clay Park is.”

Holly has yet to master saying Violet’s name. Owen’s amusement reminds me what’s important, and it’s not despairing over a guy I gave up. He gives his daughter a concerned look to mirror her own. “Let’s go and help her find it.”

He stands and takes Holly’s hand. I follow, hearing Dora the Explorer playing in the background. Just around the corner, another doll-faced girl stares at the TV. Dark brown ringlets crown her head. She turns when Owen sits on the sectional. Holly joins him on his lap. Violet beams at me and runs over with her thumb in her mouth while pointing at the screen.

“Clay Park?” It sounds reasonable, like the words if you’ve mastered two-year-old speak.

Owen launches into questions about the story and the girls answer him eagerly. For a second, I allow myself to wonder what it would be like if Owen and I became a couple. It’s so easy to be with him, talk to him, and bonus—he cooks. What more can a girl ask for?

Only we are just friends. He hasn’t exactly gotten over his wife yet. And I haven’t exactly gotten over Chase.

I let those thoughts drift away as we search with Dora to find Clay Park. The girls giggle when we learn we must cross Troll Bridge first. Eventually, the Dora episode ends. Go, Diego, Go! comes on next before Barney. Before you know it, our morning has dissolved in animated conversation with toddlers and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Later, after I make lunch for us all, my phone rings.

“Mom,” I say into the receiver after holding up a finger to Owen and excusing myself to step in the hallway.

“Andi, honey, how are you? You never call.”

I sigh. I have to give her credit. She hadn’t given me the third degree when I didn’t come for Christmas.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’ve been busy.”

“I get that you’re an adult and you have your own life but, sweetheart, we miss you. Have we done something to upset you?”

There’s no condemnation in her voice, only a deep-seated sadness.

“No.” I want to blurt out the truth and beg for her forgiveness. “Look, I’m coming for Ryder’s wedding. I need to tell you both something.”

“Can’t you tell me over the phone?”

This is the kind of news better said face to face.

“It’s better if I explain in person. I hope you’ll keep an open mind and maybe eventually forgive me.”

Dammit, Andi, if that doesn’t sound ominous.

But Mom being Mom only says, “Andi, there is nothing you can do to make us not love you. We miss you and want to share a part of your life at least occasionally.”

Tears well up in my eyes as my voice cracks into a million pieces. “I miss you too. And I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re coming home. You’re going to stay with us, right?”

“Yes, please.”

“Let me get your dad. He’ll be thrilled to hear you’re coming home.”

Just like that, I resolve to confess everything to my parents. Though they will still love me, what I have to say won’t go over easily. That much I know. I’m just not sure how Chase will feel when he learns the truth.

After I talk to my dad, I walk back to Owen’s. Violet comes running over to me.

“Mama, outside and play.”

Her steel gray eyes are so much like her father’s.

“It’s cold outside. Maybe we should stay in.”

Her head moves side to side, curls bouncing along.

“Holly, me are ’plorers,” she says, pointing to her chest and then in the direction of her friend.

The last word she said might have been a little hard to understand for anyone else, but a year or so of baby talk and I’m fluent.

“Okay, but we can’t stay long.”

The girls squeal in delight and Owen says, “Let me get our coats.”

I nod and say, “I’ll grab Violet’s and meet you in the hall.”

He agrees, and for the second time, I wonder how easy it would be for Owen and me to become a family. We are halfway there, considering we have keys to each other’s apartments. He trusts me with his most precious possession—his daughter. I trust him with mine.

Once the kids are all bundled up, we head outside to the park conveniently located across the street. It’s one of the million reasons I picked this place. Owen guides me with a hand at the small of my back. Even though he’s never given me the vibe that he’s into me, I search for my reaction from his touch. There aren’t any electric currents, no butterflies in my belly, and I wonder how disappointed this makes me. Only one man has ever made me feel like a live wire.

Chase.

Until I can let him go from my heart, no other man stands a chance.