Every fever, every night until the doctor’s appointment, I worry. If not for Chase’s comforting presence, I probably wouldn’t have gotten one hour of sleep. As it is, I get a few hours a night.

“You have to tell Mom and Dad,” Mark says. “You can’t keep any more secrets.”

It’s the same thing Beth says when I call her and tell her about my fears for Violet. I miss her so much.

“I promise I’ll tell them. Can you give me until after the doctor visit tomorrow?”

“Andi—”

“Mark, what if it’s just basic anemia that an iron supplement can fix? Why worry them for nothing?”

He sighs. “Fine. But no matter what, promise me you’ll tell them.”

“I promise.”

“So what’s going on with you and Chase? Is he still pissed?”

He’s told me he loved me twice. And I know he’s committed to our family, but I don’t say any of that to my brother.

“No. I think he’s forgiven me.”

“But?”

“But, I can’t expect anything more.”

“You deserve happiness.”

“Do I?” I shoot back.

“I don’t agree with how you went about things, but even I know you thought you were doing right.”

“And I’ve made a mess of everything. If something’s wrong with Violet, it’s my fault.”

“How can you say that?”

“I don’t know if my biological parents have this type of problem in their DNA. Maybe if I’d known …”

“You’d what? You wouldn’t have had Violet? Come on, Andi. You’re better than this. You just need to get some sleep. Violet’s going to be fine. Mom, Dad, and I can come to Italy if you want?”

“Mom was just here, and you’ve just started your own business. Maybe we can come home if Chase agrees.”

“I think it’s better if we come there.”

What he doesn’t say is that I shouldn’t take any Violet time from Chase.

“You’re right. I just miss home.”

Italy is beautiful, but I miss Beth, Chicago, work …

“Hang in there.”

“Thanks, Mark.”

When we hang up, I sit looking at the four walls in my room and feel claustrophobic. I pull my hair into a messy bun on top of my head and head out into the darkened hallway. Faint light shimmers through the wall of windows. The sky is a dusky purple and calls to me. I pour a glass of wine and walk out into the chilly night. Violet had gone down early and Chase hasn’t come home yet.

The view from the hilltop home is priceless.

When a warm body molds against me, I lean into it. Chase’s scent is more familiar to me than my own.

He kisses the top of my head. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

I turn in his arms and set my empty glass down. I press my cheek to his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

“I would give up my own life for her to be okay.”

“I happen to love your life and intend to spend it with you, so I need you both safe.”

I lift my head and search his eyes. “You want to spend your life with me?”

He seems more confused than I feel. “Team Wilde.”

“Yes, but that’s for Violet. I don’t expect anything more after everything.”

My emotions are on the cusp of bursting from my eyes in a torrent of tears. He tips my chin up.

“I have only ever loved one person. And that person is you. I want us to be a family in every way. You, me, and our daughter, we are going to make it through this.”

“You mean that, don’t you?”

“When have I ever lied to you?”

“Never.”

He kisses me and it lingers as the sun dips, making the sky turn a midnight blue. We end up in his room, where he shows me just what love is. It ends with the most restful night I’ve had in a while. I would need it the next morning.

With Violet playing in a room with glass separating us, Chase holds my hand as we wait for the doctor. Salt-and-pepper hair crowns the very distinguished-looking man. But it’s his gentle smile that puts me at ease.

As he speaks, his pristine English comes out in the loveliest accent. “I won’t lie to you. Between your daughter’s CBC panel and her continued fevers, some explained and others not, I suspect as your pediatrician has suggested that this is more than just basic anemia.”

“Doc, just give it to us straight. What do you think it is?” Chase asks.

He sits up and flattens his hands together.

“If I were to venture a guess, I would say her symptoms line up with aplastic anemia.”

I close my eyes, knowing the news can’t be much worse.

“How will we know for sure?” Chase asks.

“We’ll run some additional tests with the sample we’ve taken today.”

Chase squeezes my hand as if he knows I’m going to shatter to pieces.

“Will we know for sure what it is?”

“We are ruling out other things. The only test to confirm an aplastic anemia diagnosis is a bone marrow test.”

“Is there a cure?” Chase pipes up because my throat has seized.

My worst nightmare has been realized.

“I’m afraid not. Though we have great results with a bone marrow transplant.”

“I’m willing to donate,” we both offer, even though I know better.

The doctor lifts a hand. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s run the test and see. Besides, it’s unlikely either of you would be a match.” When Chase looks as though he will argue, the doctor continues. “We will run the test if you like, assuming it comes to that. But parents are usually not matches. A sibling is more likely a match.”

“We don’t have any other kids.”

The doctor nods. “Just something to consider. In the meantime, keep doing what you are doing. Children with this disease are more prone to catch viruses and other illness due to a compromised immune system. This can explain the fevers she’s been having. If this is her diagnosis, there are many options afforded to us to manage the disease.” Violet’s laughter has us looking up, but her arms are raised and the delight on her face takes any fear from my heart. “You have a wonderful child. We are here for you every step of the way.”

“Next steps,” I finally say.

“I’ll give you a call. If we need to run the bone marrow test, I’ll get that scheduled.”

He reaches out a hand and I shake it. Chase does it next before he practically has to lift me from my seat. The idea that Violet could be saddled with this disease kills something inside me.

Chase rubs my back and I nod at him. He heads into the other room to gather our daughter.

“Doc?”

He turns.

“You mentioned a sibling. What are the chances that if we had another kid, he or she could have the same thing?”

He bobs his head. “A valid question. There are no guarantees in life. However, this disease is rare. The likelihood is slim that another child would have it.”

Chase comes back in with Violet, so I don’t bring up that I read that this could be inherited or that I could have unwittingly passed this to our daughter. Guilt continues to eat at me on the ride home.

Violet is asleep when we arrive home. I cradle her in my arms and remember holding her like this after she was born. When I lay her down in her room, I kiss her head.

“Sleep well, my love,” I whisper, even though she’s too far in dreamland to hear me.

Chase is at the door and presses a hand to the small of my back.

“This is really a bad time, but I have to go to Germany for a few days. You guys are welcome to come, or maybe we can get our moms to come back. I don’t want you to be alone here.”

I stop in the middle of the hall. “You have a game in Germany?”

“Not exactly. It’s something we should discuss, but a German club wants me. I’ve put off this visit too long. Max says Germany wants me to come check them out.”

“But now?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Time is quickly running out on a winter trade. But I can cancel.”

I want to be selfish and agree, but I don’t. “No, you should go.”

“Do you want to come?”

The idea of being here alone isn’t appealing. At the same time, if Violet really does have aplastic anemia, the last thing she needs is to come in contact with more germs most people could easily fight off.

“I should stay. You go. Maybe Beth could come.”

Though that is a crazy idea. I don’t know if she has a passport or time off available.

“That’s great. You find out and I’ll pay for all her travel arrangements.”

This man, I’m not sure how I lived without him. I draw him down and kiss him deeply.

“I love you,” I say, knowing it is more than love.

“There is nothing I won’t do for you and Violet.”

And his words arrow straight to my heart, because they are a statement more prophetic than the three I said.

“Me too.”

He scoops me up and leads me to his huge suite. “Your room?”

“No, ours. If we’re together, we share a bed together. From now and always.” He pointedly waits for me to say something. “Agree?”

“Yes. Together and forever. You, me, and Violet.”