By the time I get into the shower, my anger is in full force and my cock is rock hard. I’m furious with myself for wanting to lose control, wanting to give in, and wanting to lose myself in all that is Cayden Fisher. She's my guilty pleasure, my sinful craving, and the need I thirst for–but I can't have a single drop. I'm losing all of the power to control myself, becoming a bomb that’s ready to explode. Every day it gets harder and harder to keep myself restrained instead of letting go and taking her the way I have thought about so many fucking times. Her eyes reel me in hypnotically, her voice sings to me like a siren putting me under her spell, and her body is a magnetic force that I fight against every second of every day. I don’t know how much longer I can deny what seems to be inevitable.
Hot water sprays over my tight muscles and bare flesh. I tilt my head back, taking in a few deep breaths, trying to settle the war raging deep within of me. It does nothing to soften the hard cock I've been sporting since laying eyes on her in those fucking Daisy Dukes. Her ass is the perfect shape of a peach, paired with tits that were almost pouring out of that skin-tight tank top, and the cute as hell cowboy boots she had on…she’s driving me insane.
There was no way I could let her press any of that deliciousness against that douche, Brody. I know how to drive a four-wheeler, but I couldn't let her know that. I had to make a quick decision earlier, and she ended up right where I wanted her–with me. I have no doubt that she felt my bulging erection pushing into her back from sitting as close as I could to her. It gave me the perfect excuse to be able to feel her body pressed against mine, for her sweet scent to invade my senses, and to envelop her with my arms. If only we could have that every day.
My hands rested on her hips, but I desperately wanted to run them up her sides and grab handfuls of her perky tits. I wanted to feel the smooth flesh of her thighs surrounding me, guiding me until I reached her core. I can easily imagine how wet and hot she would have been for me from her excitement of my hands exploring her body. I wished I could have sunk my teeth into the crook of her neck, kissed her soft skin.
Fuck!
My hand slams against the shower wall. I can't take it anymore! I have to give in. Precum is already leaking from my aching tip. Screwing my eyes shut, I grip my cock with my fist and begin pumping it up and down while thinking about Cayden: the smile she wore all day, her intoxicating laugh, and her body covered in mud from four-wheeling.
I think about what I would have liked to do to her in that mud…on that four-wheeler. I picture her on top of me, riding me with as much mastery as she had when she steered the machine between her legs. "Cayden!" Her name roars out of me from deep in my chest as I stroke the first spurt of cum into the shower. My breaths come in short pants as I slow my movements until the last of my orgasm subsides.
My body shakes, and I fall to the floor, but only then do the reminders of Maddie take hold. She never strays too far from my thoughts, never lets me be, and never lets me forget. How could I forget?
Pulling myself together, I get up off of the cold shower floor, washing away the remains of what I just did. I clean the rest of my body and wash my hair before turning off the now cool water. Stepping out, I grab the towel hanging on the rack and dry my hair before wrapping the towel around my waist.
I hear something coming from Cayden's room, so I step closer, pressing my ear against the door. My eyes widen in shock when the muffled sounds become clearer. She's panting and calling out my name. I don't know what possesses me to turn the knob, but I do, and I find it unlocked. Flinging it open, I notice that the light is on and Cayden is lying on her bed, under the covers, with both arms above her head.
"What the hell are you doing?" I storm into her room. Why am I angry at the thought of her pleasuring herself and calling out my name? At least it's mine and not Brody's. Maybe I'm pissed because I want it to be me giving her all of her pleasure, but I can't do it. Brody could though...the sonofabitch.
She sucks her lips into her mouth to try and hide her smirk. "I heard what you were doing in the shower and thought I'd help you out."
My eyes narrow. "Oh yeah." I step closer. "And what makes you think I’d need any help?"
She shrugs her shoulder. "Nothin', but you groanin’ my name like that tells me everything I need to know." Her eyes are ablaze with lust.
Mine darken. "What's that?"
"That you do, in fact, want me." Her tone becomes even more seductive. She pulls the covers away from her body. My gaze roams over her naked flesh from the pounding pulse in her neck, down to the rosy buds of her tight nipples, landing on her bare, mouthwatering pussy. My cock jumps to life once again at the mere sight of her beauty. She is stunning. "And by the tent in your towel, it confirms it all."
"Everything? Hmm." I continue my perusal of her body. My own pulse begins to pound in my ears.
"Drop the towel, Zac." She doesn't ask; it's more of a demand, in a sultry sizzling kind way.
"I can't do that."
"It's only fair. I'm lying here naked. You busted into my room. Maybe I really could pleasure myself, if you turn my imagination into reality." My eyes lock with hers. “I’ve imagined so many times how big you are, fantasized about it. I felt it today, all day, on the four-wheeler. You drive me crazy, Zac.” Her voice lowers, eyes become hazier, and little sounds of lust fall from her pouty plump lips. Slowly, my hand reaches for the slit in the towel, and I pull. It drops to my feet. Cayden's eyes widen for a moment before settling on my cock, which is hard as fucking steel. She blows out a deep breath. "You're bigger than I imagined."
"And you're just as fucking breathtaking as I imagined." This girl is a siren, a seductress–deadly. I don't know what's pulling me in, but I can't fucking stop it.
She spreads her thighs, opening wide, to show me her pink, glistening pussy.
God damn it!
"One touch, Zac," She pleads with her mouth and eyes.
I run my tongue along my bottom lip. "One would never be enough, Cayden."
Her hand travels down her chest and stomach to between her thighs. She runs her finger through her slit and lightly moans at the feel. I need her. I need to feel her, taste her, have her surround me.
Fuck!
"Cayden." My tone is full of warning and desperate for her to stop, but she ignores it. My last thread of control is breaking.
"One taste, Zac," She mewls, "I just want to feel you one time." Her head tips back on her pillow as she pushes a finger inside herself.
I'm lost. I lose all control, all restraint, and all the willpower I’ve held onto for so long.
Stepping to the edge of the bed, I drop to my knees and grip her legs pulling her closer to me. Putting one leg over each of my shoulders, I push her hand away and replace her digit with my tongue. Tasting her sweet saltiness for the first time is better than I could have ever dreamed of. I close my eyes as my tongue explores her beautiful wet heat.
"Zac!" Cayden cries out and reaches for my head, grabbing fistfuls of hair to pull me impossibly closer. For once, I'm glad I decided to let my hair grow.
The hold I have on her hips tightens as I fight against my own desperation in an effort to retain some control. My tongue moves in small circles around her clit, and I hum my approval as she bucks against me, trying to chase her orgasm. Releasing one of her hips, I push two fingers inside her tightness and scissor them, moving in and out. I easily find her g-spot and work her closer and closer toward her explosion.
She thrashes on the bed, her grip on my hair tightens, and her legs begin to shake. Watching her react to the assault I am inflicting is the sexiest shit I have ever witnessed. Christ, she is gorgeous. What I’ve imagined is no comparison to actually having Cayden. No amount of imagination, no matter how creative, could even come close to the reality of being with her right now at this moment.
Lifting my head, I coax her, "Let go, Cayden. Let it all go."
A few more strokes from my tongue and she does just that. She screams out my name, scratches at my arm and the bed, and lifts her hips, grinding herself against my face until I’m barely able to breathe. I drink all I can, but she's squirting over and over, and it is a beautiful sight to behold.
Her orgasm continues until she has nothing left. She drops to the mattress limp and weak, breathing heavily, and her eyes are closed. "What the—"
I cut her off as I tower over her body. “You’ve never come like that?”
She only shakes her head with a heavy exhausted gaze.
Our eyes search one another for a moment before I crash my lips against hers. I push my tongue between her seam as my cock enters her, joining us as one. Her moans and my grunts are swallowed up by our intense kiss that is filled with desperation and passion. We cannot stop this, even if we wanted to.
I drive into her, rough and hard with calculated strokes. Breaking the kiss, I stare at her face. Her eyes are closed again and lips are parted; she looks like a fucking angel. Picking up my pace, her nails dig into my back, and I relish that feeling. This is real, but it's short-lived. It was nothing more than a moment of weakness, and we both know it. My legs begin to tingle, balls tighten, and that feeling of my own release begins to grow deep in my spine.
"Zac!" She screams as another orgasm takes hold of her.
I drop my head into the crook of her neck, sink my teeth into her flesh just like I desired, and fall over the edge. Just as I demanded of her, I let it all go, and the most intense release overcomes me, and I groan her name.
Still inside her and breathless, regret hits me like a ton of bricks. "We shouldn't have done that," I whisper against her ear.
She laughs. "It felt good though, didn't it?"
Pulling out of her and jumping off the bed, I gape at her. "This can't happen again, Cayden. We can't happen."
Her eyes narrow. "What are you hiding from, Zac?"
I race out of her room without acknowledging her question. I make sure both of my doors are locked before falling into bed. The first thought of Maddie comes, as does the first tear.
* * *
It's been a week since the night Cayden and I had sex. We haven’t talked about our lapse, and sometimes it’s like it never even happened, but we both know it did.
We've gone four-wheeling a couple more times with Brody, however, there are always three machines now. At first, I had to pretend like I didn’t know what I was doing when they taught me how to drive the four-wheeler. We've also had bonfires or just chilled at the house with Brody and the others. There hasn't been one single time in the last week that we've been alone, just me and Cayden. Sometimes I wonder if she is avoiding being alone with me, but I’ll see her slip me a grin here and there, and I'll return it. I'll find little ways to touch her like fingering her hair or touching her lower back as I walk by, but we haven’t had a chance to talk. That said, neither of us has made a move to enter the other’s bedroom. Maybe she did only want that one time, and maybe I’m too scared of what might happen. Either way, she knows I want her now; there's no hiding that anymore, but she still doesn't know about the past that holds me hostage.
"Hey, fucker, you gonna stand there spacing out or hit some fucking balls?" Mav's voice rings through my thoughts. We came to the batting cages today to get some practice in. It's nice to be out with only the three of us like it used to be.
"I'll hit your fucking balls, asshole," I shout back jokingly and start running toward him with my metal bat.
Mav puts his hands up in surrender. "Hey! I need my little soldiers in the future." Dex and I bust out laughing and I drop the bat.
Dex jokes, "I don't even want to think about a little Cydney and Maverick running around. We're all in for it the day that happens."
"Hey, our kids are going to be awesome little shits!" Mav tries to defend his future with Cydney in his own strange way.
"Let Cyd hear you call your future babies little shits." I guffaw and continue, "Dex and I will be laughing our asses off the whole time she's beatin' yours."
Dex adds, "Damn straight." His shifts his attention to me. "So...when are you going to make up your mind about Cayden? You gotta decide to keep her or let her go soon, man. It ain't right to have her on a string, dangling her around. Eventually, the string's gonna break."
I walk out of the cages and over to a picnic table with the guys following behind me. I sigh heavily and sit down. "I know." I run my hands over my face and add, "I want her, but a relationship between us is impossible."
Mav huffs, exasperated, "That makes no sense, dipshit."
My eyes dart between my two best friends. "Because y’all don't understand. It was easy for you guys to be with Callie and Cydney. It's not easy for me."
Dex laughs incredulously. "You think it was easy for us? Have you lost your God damn memory? It wasn't easy for either of us. We had to fight like hell to get our women, but they’re the best part of us."
"Agreed." Mav nods. "We've been telling you, you’re going to lose her. Is that what you want?"
"No, but—"
Mav cuts me off, "Then figure your shit out because if you don't, you are going to push her right into Brody's arms. And I'll tell you now, the dude ain't a bad guy. The more I've been around him, the more he grows on you. He loves her–that's clear as fucking day–but she loves you."
I shake my head. “She doesn’t love me. She just wants my dick, and she already got that.” I mumble the last part and realize I put my foot in my fucking mouth. Shit!
Both of their jaws practically hit the table. “You fucked her, and you’re still playing fucking games with her?” Dex shouts at me.
“I’m not playing games!” I holler back.
“Both of you shut the fuck up!” Mav yells between us. He points his finger at Dex. “And you were worried about me with Cyd?” His head tilts my way. “He’s the one we gotta worry about.” His eyes cut to mine. “Shit, Zac, what the fuck, man?”
"It was a moment of weakness. Cayden and I both know that, but I'll work it out." It's the best I can offer right now.
“You better, man, cause if not, I’ll be rooting for Brody. She deserves to be happy, and if you can’t give that to her, then he will.” Dex gives me the hard truth whether I like it or not. He is right, but could I actually bear the thought of letting her go and allowing Brody to have her?