I sit on the edge of the couch with my elbows resting on my knees, my head hanging as I think over Cayden's words and the decision she made. It was always going to be him. I didn’t have one ounce of a fighting chance with her from the beginning. Something I should have fucking realized after the first time I saw them together. I shouldn’t have been as stupid to think she would pick me, but I believed I was set to win. Somewhere in all of this, I lost myself in a battle for a prize that I was never going to get. Jesus, listen to me! She's not a God damn object, she's a fucking person. She's my best friend, and I didn't give a shit about her feelings, or anyone else’s for that matter…only mine. Maybe she is right, maybe this wasn’t about love, specifically my love for her–or lack of it.
I didn't intentionally set out to hurt anyone by giving her that folder. It was purely for personal gain, but I wound up hurting others, people I care about. Fuck, I'm an asshole.
Cayden was right: there is a difference in loving someone and being in love with them. Am I really truly in love with her? I don't know. I do love her, but I had to let her go. I think it's time for me to put my focus on my work instead of a girl who’s meant for someone else. And Cayden is meant for Zac, not me. If she was ever truly meant for me, then Zac would have never been in the equation. How could I expect her to want to stay in Senoia and live a happy life when she’s destined for so much more.
I can’t.
My phone rings in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I peek at the screen, only to realize I don't recognize the number. I answer anyway, "Hello?"
"Oh, thank God! Brody, it's me, Melanie. I know my call is out of the blue, but I'm desperate." She sounds frantic.
"What's goin' on?"
"My babysitter up and quit on me, and now I have twenty minutes to get to work. I was hoping that since you were so good with Jacob, you’d consider watching him for me. I promise it'll be the only time, and I'll find someone else before my next shift."
"Sure. I'll leave now." I rush to grab my keys and race out the front door to my truck.
"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I'll send you my address."
"No problem." I hang up the phone and wait for her text to come through, grateful for the distraction. Maybe by watching Jacob for Melanie, I’ll be able to get my mind off my own problems, and it’ll keep me from sitting here, sulking in my own misery.
* * *
I had just gotten Jacob sleeping in his crib when Melanie comes through the front door. "How was he?" She asks nervously.
"He was good. I just laid him down."
"Thank you, Brody. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help today. One of the girls at work gave me a number for a new babysitter. Would you like a glass of wine? I usually have one to relieve the stress of the day."
"Sure." I follow her into the kitchen where she fills two wine glasses with the pale liquid and passes one to me. Taking a sip, I rub the back of my neck. "You know, I could watch him for you."
She sputters, "What?"
"Jacob. I could watch him for you. I'm usually done on the ranch by five, but I could leave early on the days you need me."
Her brows knit. "You would do that? Why?"
Shrugging my shoulders, I respond, "I had fun spending time with him. Plus, it'll keep me busy." I leave out the part that I'm envious of her. Her life is a little hectic, but she’s settled, has this amazing little boy, and overall, she’s happy.
"Oh my gosh, Brody!" She rushes over to me, throwing her arms around my neck. To keep us from toppling to the ground, I wrap mine around her waist and plant my feet. "Thank you so much! I'll pay you."
"No, I don't want your money."
She pulls back. "I can't let you do that. Are you sure about this? Don't you want to spend time with Cayden? I mean, I know she’ll be leaving again soon."
Searching her eyes, I begin to really take in Melanie's features: her crystal blue eyes, pouty lips, and cute little button nose. She's pretty…real fuckin' pretty. When we were in school together, I was too focused on Cayden to really notice any other girls, but now, standing there, I can’t help but see her. "I'm sure. And Cayden isn't an issue for me anymore."
"What happened? You two were always such good friends." Yeah, at one time we were, however, now I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to where we were before this whole disaster occurred.
"Long story. Look, I'm gonna head out since I gotta be up before dawn. Have a good night, Melanie." I lean in to kiss her cheek.
"Night, Brody," She whispers.
I show myself out, driving home to try and get some sleep.