Chapter Forty-Four
I took another sip of my tea while we sat in Evelyn and Ricardo’s living room. Seeing them after pulling away had been as easy as it had with Mom and Dad. Mom told me she’d had lunch earlier that week with Evelyn to talk to her and explain in more detail what had happened before with my first baby. The week had been hard for everyone, but Evelyn had taken it especially hard, too. I think a mother was forever tied to her child in a special way.
Over dinner we laughed and told stories from the past. It had been cathartic. Now, we had to discuss what Navarro had revealed to me. “Hastings filled you in on everything?” Garrick asked.
“Yes.” Ricardo answered and took a sip of his brandy. He nodded to Evelyn.
“I knew of Duncan Allaway from my father. No one liked him. Because I was estranged, everything was kept from me—I had no idea. But we made a few under-the-radar inquiries and verified what Navarro said was indeed correct. The Allaway territory is in an upheaval with all the eligible women gone.”
Earlier I’d learned that Evelyn had been cast from the family because she’d married Ricardo.
“So, it’s true?”
“Yes.”
Navarro had been right. How did he find out? Not even Evelyn knew. “How much are we talking about?”
Ricardo set his glass down and picked up the conversation. “With stocks, properties, gold, connections…a hundred billion. Easy.”
Billion. A hundred billion. A hundred billion dollars.
For that kind of money, people would be inclined to do the same thing Navarro did. I was filled with dread. “Do we know if Navarro told anyone?”
“No one seems the wiser.”
I grabbed Garrick’s hand. “Am I still in danger?”
Garrick took over. “We are monitoring the other factions in the area. But no one has made any moves out of the ordinary. They’re in chaos, trying to keep things in order. Navarro wiped the slate with the murders. With who is left, I don’t believe they know your mother even exists.”
No one knew. I looked at the Monroes. “Will you try to make the claim? You’re still blood?”
Evelyn looked at Ricardo, who grabbed her hand. She shook her head. “No, I’m not. I just found you. Nothing is worth putting you at risk again. Nothing. Hastings and Ricardo agree.”
Tears pricked the back of my eyes. “So, it’s done.”
Ricardo nodded. “It’s done. We’ll monitor from afar. But it shouldn’t affect us.”
Relief coursed through me and I relaxed. “Thank you. I truly believe the only thing this would bring is more threats…more death. I don’t want the next time I’m pregnant to be taken away because of it again.”
Next time. We hadn’t talked about trying again at this point. I’d blurted it out without thinking. Garrick stiffened beside me, apparently noticing what I’d said. It was too soon to talk about being pregnant again. “I mean…not next time…I just mean taken. I…uhh…” I felt flustered. Before I broke down completely, I stood. “Excuse me. I need some air.”
I jumped up and went outside to the verandah. Dragging in a few deep breaths, I tried to sort my thoughts. I walked over to one of the flowered vines and touched the clematis. The emotions from earlier threatened to take me under.
I will not succumb. I am stronger than this.
“Knoah.” I nearly jumped at Evelyn’s voice. “I asked Garrick if I could come talk to you for a second. He’s right inside if you want him instead.” She straightened her flowered top, unsure of herself.
“Umm…sure. That would be fine.”
“Let’s sit for a second.” At the wrought iron bench, I tentatively took a seat, ready to bolt at any second.
“I lost a baby,” Evelyn said.
My thoughts stopped. “What?”
“Yes, between you and Hastings. Your brother doesn’t remember, as we’ve never talked about it. The pain hurt too much, so I buried it. This news from the hospital last week brought back so much of that.” She grew quiet for a second. “I know what you’re going through. And you’re stronger than I was. You embrace what happen and make it part of your life. I pretended it never existed. Barb helped me a lot this week. She’s a wonderful person.”
Now it made sense why Mom had mentioned how hard Evelyn took this week. It was her way of letting me know I needed to see Evelyn without breaking her trust.
A miscarriage and a stolen baby. “Did the pain ever go away?”
“No. Never. But, Knoah, it’s okay to want another baby.”
“I don’t know if I do. I don’t know if Garrick does. It’s all so fresh. It’s harder, in some ways, than the last time. I only had a couple of days with my first baby. This one I had over a week, and I let myself believe it would be okay.”
I leaned against Evelyn’s shoulder and let out a shaky breath. She wrapped her arms around me. “You don’t have to figure it out today. And you can change your mind. All that matters is that you and Garrick are on the same page.”
She’d just put words to one of my biggest fears. “What if we aren’t? What if we never agree?”
She kissed the top of my head. “You won’t know unless you talk about it. It will make your marriage stronger at the end of the day.”
She was right.
“Give yourself time to heal. As long as you and Garrick have each other, you’ll be strong enough to endure any storm.” Garrick appeared at the door. “I’m going to go inside for a bit. Join us when you guys are ready.”
Garrick nodded to her as they passed each other, and then he sat beside me. I crawled into his lap, relishing his scent. “I didn’t mean to slip like that. We hadn’t really discussed it. Do you want another baby?’
His silence brought my head up. “Sweetheart, I meant what I said at the pond. The only thing I can’t live without is you. Everything else will work itself out. Don’t stress about another baby. Being together, having each other is what matters.”