Chapter Fifteen
In the bathroom, I finished applying my mascara. “Knoah, I don’t think going is a good idea.”
Garrick stood at the door, his lips compressed in a straight line. Against his better judgment, I wanted to go with Kurt to the recording studio. Since I initially brought it up a day or so ago, we’d discussed it a million times.
“I do.”
He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Yesterday—”
“I remember what happened, Garrick. I was there. The man’s blood was all over me.” After yesterday, I came back to more protocols. And it felt like I might never see daylight again.
Tossing my mascara into my makeup bag, I was officially beyond aggravated. Garrick held up his hands and took a few steps my way. I remained rooted to my spot. This was no way to live, but the worry on his face was hard to take. I know he had my best interests at heart.
My shoulders slumped. “I feel like I’m suffocating.”
“From me?” The vulnerability I heard in his voice hurt. Sometimes I forgot how new to relationships Garrick was. Sure, he’d had dates before, but nothing serious. Then our relationship went from zero to sixty in a nanosecond.
I shook my head and took a deep breath. As he got closer, Garrick’s cologne filled the air around me, intoxicating me. I knew there would always be a deep-rooted fear that something might happen, but we had to keep living. “No. Not you. The situation. You’re trying to protect me, but I can’t stay locked up in Shaw Tower forever. We need to find a safe middle ground.”
A muscle in Garrick’s jaw ticked. With my hands on his chest, I tried to reassure him. “I’m headed to a recording studio. One with a lot of famous people in it. There’s more security there. I will be safe. If Navarro struck at the studio, it would bring too much attention to him.”
“If something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself. Do you understand that?”
“Yes. I do.” The desperation in him was raw. I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I feel the same way about you.” I exhaled, feeling my irritation from earlier fade. “I’m sorry for snapping. I’m going stir-crazy. I know you’re only protecting me.” I lay my head on his chest, and his heartbeat rang strong and steady against my ear.
“I can’t imagine how you’re dealing with all the changes you’ve had to go through.” He paused. “Seeing that gun aimed at you yesterday scared the shit out of me.”
“I was scared, too. But we have to keep trying to have some sort of a life. Locking me away forever won’t solve our problems. I don’t want to be terrified of stepping outside. This will be good for us.”
The silence let me know Garrick wasn’t in agreement. “Do you really think it’s not safe for me to go? If you do, I won’t go.”
His eyes searched mine, his internal struggle real. “I think you’ll be safe. But here, I know you will. I cannot control what happens there.”
Control. How I knew it could cripple a person. Before Garrick, I had ostracized myself from everything except for what I could control. Normally Garrick controlled all things in his world.
I kissed his lips. “Check in as often as you want.”
“I plan to.”
Of course he did. There was only so far I would be able to push Garrick today. I pressed another kiss against his lips. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll be counting down the minutes until we’re together again.”
Ding-dong.
“Be safe, Knoah. If you suspect anything—”
I pressed my finger to his lips. “I will get Joe. I promise.”
~ ~ ~
As per my request, the plan was to keep yesterday’s incident away from Kurt. It would only complicate matters. Informing him of a murder put him at risk. The fewer people who knew, the better for all parties involved.
Until now, Kurt knew almost everything, but Garrick and I had to forge a life together, as well. Since I planned to marry him, we had to carve our own paths without the input from everyone.
He would keep me safe.
Kurt joined me in one of the rooms off the recording area after he’d taken care of some business. “Everything is set up. The band should be here any second.”
We were hanging out, waiting for the rest of the band members. There was a nice spread with food and drinks. I had to sign a few forms to be here, which were standard, according to Kurt. One band member’s sister, who was in the room with us, had signed the forms as well.
Today they planned to finish recording “Lost.” Our words would soon be playing on the radio. There would even be a music video. It was amazing.
With his phone in hand, Kurt sent a quick text. While I waited, I asked, “So, how are things going on the roommate front?”
He smirked. “Good. I had a list of sticky notes on my door this morning detailing out this week’s chore list.”
Oh no. At first the sticky notes drove me crazy, but they became endearing after a while. “And you’re not doing any of them, are you?”
“Nonsense. I’m doing them all.” He gave me a crooked grin.
He was pushing her buttons on purpose. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“She asked me to put the dishes away. So I put them up…randomly. And she asked me to dry her clothes. So I did…after adding a band label that says Kurt’s roomie to each piece.”
I covered my mouth to hide my laugh. “What did she say?”
“She waved her arms and sputtered a bunch of incoherent words, paced, and then calmed down.” He shrugged. “Like I said…all bark and no bite.”
“You like winding her up.”
Kurt gave a noncommittal shrug. Before I had a chance to say anything else, the door swung open with the rest of the band.
They remembered me from when I’d gone to the concert. They were nice. Kurt and Dylan had only had a drummer and themselves before he died. Afterward, the drummer quit and Kurt hired a drummer, someone to play the bass, and one other guitarist. However, he kept the name they used—Reverence.
“Let’s wrap this up!” Kurt clapped his hands. To me, he said, “Make yourself comfortable; we shouldn’t be too long. Let anyone in the booth know if you need anything.”
“Take your time.”
Being out of the house helped more than I could have imagined. Joe stood off in the corner, blending—as I called it. Half the time, I forgot he was there. Joe’s son, Arnold, was now an integral part of the team after yesterday’s incident. With the potential of a mole, Garrick was keeping things closer to his chest. Joe trusted Arnold implicitly. From our brief meeting, I liked him—he was basically a younger Joe.
I texted Garrick.
Me: Things are going well. Band started rehearsing. I’m in the room with Joe.
Garrick: Good. Where’s Arnold?
Me: Outside the room, as instructed.
Garrick: I’m sorry about our fight this morning.
Me: Me, too. I was cranky. Getting out has helped immensely.
Garrick: You needed this more than I thought. I should have realized.
Me: I’ll be ready to see you tonight.
Garrick: And I’ll be ready to sink myself inside of you.
Oh my. I shifted my legs.
Me: I want nothing more.
I needed to change the subject before I bailed on Kurt and demanded Joe take me home.
Me: When is your mom coming over?
Garrick: You’ll see them tomorrow.
Me: Oh, good! I’ve missed them.
Garrick: Have to get on a conference call. And, sweetheart, I know you changed the subject on purpose. Know I’m just as anxious.
Me: You know me too well. Love you.
Garrick: Love you, too.
The band kept working through the song until it was perfect. It was gorgeous. The instrumental tracks were laid down separate from the vocals.
While the band played, I thought about what I should get Garrick as a wedding present. I needed to be ready for whatever he had planned for us.
I thought about it for a while. Finally, I settled on what I wanted to do.
“That’s a wrap.” Kurt’s voice pulled me away from my plans.
The band members high-fived, made plans for the next rehearsal, and said good-bye. I got a wave through the window. Kurt walked into the room and sat with a bottle of water. “What did you think?”
“Sounded fantastic. You have a good group of guys with you.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” The lights in the recording studio turned off as the crew said good-bye and left. We were alone. “Come with me. I booked some solo time.”
I followed him into the studio. The soundproof room where Kurt sang his part had a stool and microphone hanging down from the ceiling. “Want to do some karaoke?”
“Yes! That would be fun. How do we do karaoke in here?”
Though I wanted to see Garrick, I wasn’t ready to go home yet.
“I’ll play the music and we’ll sing.” Kurt went over to the console. “Wanna sing ‘Lost’?”
“Will it be recorded?”
“No, strictly for fun. No one’s here to work the controls in the booth.” Kurt pointed to the darkened room. I’d seen the sound guys leave earlier with the band.
“That would be fun. Just like old times.”
At the gala, we’d sung together, but this was different since Navarro forced the situations. This time it would be just us having fun.
Kurt flipped a few switches. “It’ll play through the speakers. Since we aren’t recording, the sound quality won’t matter.”
After he pressed a few buttons, the first chords of the guitar played. This was Kurt playing. The same lonely, empty sound filled the room. It filled me with emotions as I thought about Dylan…the concert…my life.
The first words came from him. Kurt started off with the deep soulful sound. The song spoke about wanting to protect me and help me find my way.
His words came out clear and strong as he sang about being completely lost, lonely, and not feeling complete since I left.
The melody shifted, picking up speed. It was full of a promised hope that someday I would want to be found.
We tag-teamed the remaining lines. The haunted melody morphed, becoming stronger. The lyrics spoke about how the indescribable happened, something no one should have to endure. There was so much life left for us to live—not all had been lost.
I embraced the words and let them seep into my soul. This was our story…our pain…our survival.
Kurt’s guitar took over as the notes filled the air. Like before, it felt like a prayer ascending into the heavens.
The music picked up again, and we sang the chorus.
It was pure and soul wrenching. As the guitar strummed its last note, for the first time, I saw the hope in what we’d written.
I had started living.
I had fallen in love.
I had survived.
I had been found.
When the song ended, Kurt hugged me. Nothing else needed to be said.