Outside the warehouse, Jav stepped into the street, arm raised to hail a cab.
“Where are we going?” Stef said. “Estelle’s is—”
“We’re going to St. Vincent’s.”
“I’m fine.”
“You didn’t know what day it was. Get in.”
“Jav.”
Jav’s eyes pressed him hard. “If you ever want to get laid by me again, get in the fucking cab.”
Stef rolled his eyes but he got in. Jav slammed the door, gave the destination and they both slumped against the seat, arms crossed, staring straight ahead.
Finally Jav spoke. “My alternate threat was ‘Get in the cab or I’m moving out tonight.’”
Stef glanced at him. “You’d go back and sleep with Roger?”
“No. So I went with the getting laid thing.”
“You know my weakness.”
Jav unfolded an arm and dropped his hand on the seat between them, palm up. Stef blinked at it a few moments, then laid his on top. He drew a deep breath and sank a little lower into the leather. Fatigue swept over him, the kind that came at the end of an adrenaline rush. He realized his head ached bad. His cheekbone throbbed and the vision in that eye was beginning to narrow. A faint nausea touched the back of his throat and he swallowed hard, took another breath to tamp it down.
“All right?” Jav said.
“It’s hitting me.” He folded his fingers around Jav’s and squeezed. Jav’s thumb ran across his knuckles. Once. Twice. Then was still.
“Almost there,” Jav said.
Date night in the ER was seriously overrated. After a ninety-minute wait, the cheekbone was glued shut and butterfly-bandaged. The concussion assessment was satisfactory and they went home with some guidelines. “Rest. Fluids. Eat light. Severe headache or nausea, or any vomiting, come back in.”
Stef was exhausted now. And hungry. Two things that made him impossible. Jav made a call to Lilia and when the men returned home, a pot of plain chicken broth and noodles was on their stove. Stef had a cup, took a hot shower and flopped on the couch in front of Planet Earth.
“You want more of this?” Jav called from the kitchen.
Stef’s stomach seemed amenable to the idea so he grunted. Jav sat down and held out the mug. Stef didn’t take it. Just opened his mouth to be fed.
“Dude, no,” Jav said.
Stef waited, arms crossed, eyes on the TV and mouth open. Being stubbornly pathetic and rather enjoying it.
“Seriously,” Jav said, taking up a spoonful and feeding it to him.
“You’re so my bitch.”
“Shut up.” But he spooned Stef the whole cup without further comment, then settled back and reached out an arm. “Come here, you moron.”
Stef pivoted on the couch and put his head in Jav’s lap. Jav scooched down low in the cushions, pulling Stef more on his chest. His hand ran slow through Stef’s hair. His heart beat slow in Stef’s ear.
“Cold?” he said.
“Little,” Stef said.
Jav pulled the blanket down and spread it over Stef’s legs.
“Sorry you didn’t get your steak,” Stef said.
“Shh. Just rest.”
Stef pressed his head closer, curling in the circle of Jav’s arms.
“Don’t be stupid tonight,” Jav said. “You start to feel bad, you tell me. You wake me up.”
“I will.”
“Promise.”
“I’ll wake you up and tell you.”
Jav stroked his head. David Attenborough narrated. The room pulsed with a quiet energy.
“I love you,” Stef said.
“I know.” Jav pressed his mouth on Stef’s crown. Inhaled and exhaled. “And you scare me sometimes.”
“Tell me what scares you.”
“You’re tired.”
“Tell me,” Stef said, raising his voice.
“I’m not afraid of us breaking up,” Jav said. “I’m not afraid if we grow apart or come to an amicable but sad end. I can probably even deal with coming to a bitter end if it’s by choice. What I’m afraid of is something happening to you. Something beyond my control where all of a sudden, you’re gone and I had no choice in the matter.”
“I’m not going—” The words cut off as Jav’s thumb pinned his mouth shut.
“I know. Look, I know I’m jumping to worst-case scenarios. I know you can take care of yourself. I know you have a thousand professional skills to stay in control of that kind of situation. It was actually fucking amazing watching you work tonight. Amazing and terrifying.” He released his hold on Stef’s mouth and his hand turned soft again. “You’re good at what you do. But now that I’ve seen some of the potential hazards, I need you to be careful doing it. All right?”
Stef nodded, inhaling against the bright, clean smell of Jav’s shirt, and the dimmer, richer scent of his skin.
“Geno needs you,” Jav said. “But so do I.”
“I know. I love my work, but coming home to you is now the most important job I have.”
Jav’s arms squeezed, held tight a moment, then relaxed. “I’m thinking it might be better if I didn’t volunteer in the kitchen anymore. Or at least until you get all this sorted out.”
“Yeah. I can see him needing distance from both of us. God, this week sucks and it’s only Tuesday.”
Jav’s palm fell soft on Stef’s face, rasping against beard growth. “Right now’s not so bad.”