“Hello there, sexy! I bring lunch.”
Kami grinned at the bag in my hand. “Oh, you sweet little lifesaver, you. Thank you so much. And you went to the Sub Palace! Bless you.”
“Only the best for my best friend.”
“I’m your only friend, Paige.”
“Semantics,” I said, winking.
“Did you put extra banana peppers on it?” she asked.
“Do I ever not? They had this new chipotle mayonnaise thing going on. I got a little container of it in case you wanted to put some on your sandwich.”
“I love their chipotle mayo.”
“You like anything spicy, so I figured I’d roll with it.”
“It’s why I like you so much,” she said, grinning.
“So, how’s business today?” I asked.
“Rip-roaring. I haven’t gotten off my feet since I got in at five this morning.”
“You backed up or something?”
“Only always. It seems like my mornings are starting earlier and earlier.”
“Sucks when you’re such a good baker,” I said.
I followed Kami into the back of her bakery where we sat down at a little table in the corner. I’d known Kami for years. We met one another in college. She was getting a degree in music, and I was getting a degree in art history, and then we graduated and did absolutely nothing with our degrees. I guess that was how things went these days, though.
“How goes the private investigating?” Kami asked. “Anything juicy you can tell me?”
“Three weeks ago, I wrapped up four separate cases. All clients who thought their spouses were cheating. Two were cheating, one was dressing in drag and performing at a nightclub, and the other was living a fucking double life.”
“Like, another wife and kids and shit?” Kami asked.
“Well, another husband and kids and shit,” I said.
“The woman was living the double life?!”
“Oh, yeah. And I called it from the very beginning. I knew there was something fishy about her. Her husband came to me and wanted me to look into her because he thought she was trying to steal his money from him or something. That wasn’t the case at all. I was glad I came with plenty of pictures because he didn’t believe me at first.”
“One of those guys who think they’re heaven’s gift to women?” she asked.
“Exactly. It was insane. Anyway, last week I wrapped up my last client for the month. You’ll never guess what the fuck was going on.”
“Do I need to strap in?”
“Oh, hell yes. Get this. The woman comes in wanting me to track down her husband. He’s been gone for days, but the police don’t want to do anything about it. So, the first thing I do is go to the police station and figure out why the fuck they aren’t taking on a missing person’s case. Turns out, the head of the police station knows this woman’s husband. He told the head of the police station that he was going on a ‘business trip.’”
“And we know what that’s code for,” Kami said.
“So we thought, at least. He wasn’t hard to find with all the money he was blowing. In Cabo. Turns out, he was on a business trip… with his boyfriend.”
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah. Blowing thousands of dollars left and right. Not to mention… his boyfriend.”
“You’re insane, Paige.”
“It was juicy. The woman was absolutely mortified. It took me three days to piece everything together, just in time for him and his boyfriend to disembark at the airport.”
“Let me tell you, these stories are the only reason why I’m not still on your ass to get you to pursue your art.”
“Come on, we’ve talked about this,” I said.
“I’m just saying that it’s what you went to school for.”
“No, I went to school for art history.”
“But everyone in that program knew you needed to be there for just art. Or design. Or something that had to do with your painting and your eye for design and color. Come on, Paige. Do you really wanna be a P.I. for the rest of your life?”
“Look, it was a job I was handed out of college, and I’m pretty good at it. Is it my dream? No. Is it my passion? Not really. Does it pay the bills and then some? Hell, yeah. I’m living comfortably, which is more than a lot of people in this economy can say right now.”
“But your happiness means something to me.”
“And I’m happy! Look at us! Gossipping about juicy shit over the best subs in town! Come on. You take one step outside that door and you can smell the damn ocean, for fuck’s sake.”
“I just want my best friend to be happy,” she said. “Not just content.”
“And I’ll get there. But right now, I’m okay with where I’m at. Sometimes it’s frustrating, but that’s life. I mean, look at you. You got a music degree playing cello, and now, you’re one of the most successful bakers in the area. Who would’ve thought that?”
“Me. I’ve always been a damn fine baker.”
“But that’s not what you went to school for. Remember when we first met our sophomore year? How you were hellbent on playing in the London Symphony Orchestra for the rest of your life?”
“Yeah, I was going to study abroad in London and then just never come back,” she said.
“But things changed. Student loan debt happened, and you started selling shit out of your apartment to help make ends meet. It spiraled, and look at you. You’re happy!”
“I’m chugging down coffee at four in the morning to come bake cakes.”
“And the sparkle in your eye is unmistakable,” I said.
“I just want you to have the same, Paige.”
“And I get it, Kami. I do. I’ll get there eventually. But right now, I’m okay with where I’m at. Maybe I’ll save up all my money and travel the world and paint until I die. But I need money to do that. And being a private investigator gives it to me.”
“Which reminds me, when was the last time you went out?” she asked.
“Oh, no. Not this topic again.”
“Come on. You chase down cheating spouses for a living. Even they’re getting more than you.”
“I’m not talking about this,” I said.
“When was the last time a man just gave it to you good?”
“Kami.”
“Really reamed it until your legs shook?”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Used your body for his pleasure before diving between your legs?”
“I hate you.”
“You love me, and I’m worried about you. You stay cooped up in that office all day with a boss who always jumps down your throat. The stress alone will kill you before you’re forty if you don’t release it somehow.”
“I’ve got plenty of toys to keep me company,” I said.
“Which is a pathetic replacement for an actual man. One with muscles and smooth skin and a baby face.”
“You know that’s not the kind of man I like, anyway,” I said.
“Yeah, you like them rugged. Chiseled. With dark hair and a brooding stare.”
“And tattoos. Don’t ever forget those.”
“Anyway, you should follow your dreams,” she said.
“I will when I have the money to. Now, can we please eat and revel in the fact that it’s Friday?”
“Wait, it’s Friday?” she asked.
“Yeah?”
“Oh, shit. I’m so fucking behind. I gotta get back to work. You can stay as long as you’d like, but I’ve got four cakes due tomorrow, and I haven’t decorated a damn one of them.”
“Whoops,” I said, grinning. “So, I guess you don’t want to hear about the new client I’ve got?”
“Speak up and tell all, beautiful!” she said.
“My boss pulled me into his office this morning and told me I have a meeting with a high-end client. My first one.”
“Your first what?” she asked.
“High-end client!”
“Ah! The big bucks. What’s going on with this guy? Cheating spouse? Double life fears? Murder suspect?”
“Don’t know any of that stuff yet. I won’t until the file hits my desk Monday. All I know is that this client is gonna be paying me some serious money, and the client requested me personally.”
“Oh, shit,” Kami said. “Look at you, getting a reputation and all that.”
“I know, right? It’s the first time I’ve ever been personally requested. I’m really excited about this one. He’s going to be paying me so much that he’ll be the only client I take on next month.”
“That sounds so nice.”
“Nicer than being a starving artist?” I asked.
“Oh, I haven’t dropped that shtick yet. You’re too talented to let that painting go to waste. Please tell me you’re still painting in your spare time.”
“Yep. It’s why I’m not having sex. I’m painting all over the place.”
“I don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or not, so I’m just gonna roll with it,” she said.
“Honestly? I don’t know if I’m being sarcastic or not, either.”
“You’re losing it.”
“When was that ever a question?” I asked, grinning.
I took the first bite of my sandwich and moaned as I chewed. The Sub Palace was known for its sandwiches all along the coast of Oregon. I’d met people in the line at the shop that traveled an hour just to get there.
Their bread was baked fresh, their meat was from locally-sourced farmers, their seafood subs were to-fucking-die-for, and their seasoned chips were made in-house. It was expensive as hell, but I didn’t care. It was worth every damn bite I took whenever I could stand to wait in the line.
“How’s that sandwich?” Kami asked.
“I don’t know. Take a break and come take a bite. I brought you lunch so you’d actually eat it. Not leave it to sniff every once in a while.”
“You know that’s how us girls lose weight. We sniff the food we can’t have, and if we get desperate we take a bite, chew ten times, then spit it out.”
“Not me,” I said. “I eat whatever the fuck I want.”
“That’s because you carry your curves in all the right places. My weight shoots to my stomach. Yours fills out your hips, tits, and ass. I hate you, by the way.”
“Whatever. You know how hard it is finding clothes to fucking fit my weird-ass body?”
“Boo hoo. You have a body men drool over. Suck my dick.”
“Only if you start with me,” I said, smiling. “Come on. Put the damn fondant down and come take a bite.”
“This isn’t fondant. It’s just regular icing. I hate fondant because people can’t eat it. What’s the use of filling up a cake with something people can’t eat? I might as well put cardboard in it, to get it to stand up the way fondant does, but even better.”
“Who the fuck cares whether it’s fondant or regular icing or why? Come on. Come sit and eat. You can pull a long day or come in early or whatever. But if you pass out face-first in that cake because you didn’t eat, you’ll have to start all over.”
“Fine. Okay. The fondant issue is important to me. But I’ll come eat. Under one condition.”
“What?” I asked, groaning.
“When you know everything there is to know about this rich-ass client of yours, you have to call me.”
“You know I can’t do that until a case is wrapped up,” I said.
“Oh, come on. Who’s gonna know?”
I shook my head. “I can tell you everything except names once the case is finished.”
“You take this job too seriously.”
“Sucks to be an adult,” I said. “Now eat.”
“Yes, Mom.”
“I’ll take it if it means you eat. This sandwich was too expensive for it to go to waste.”
“Thank you for lunch, by the way,” she said.
“Not a problem. You’ve been busy all week. I figured your Friday would be no different.”
The two of us sat there in the back of her bakery and enjoyed the rest of our lunch. I was due back to work in thirty minutes, but it was time well spent with Kami. She was the only person I really talked to anymore since my job kept me in the shadows and cooped up in an office. Had she set up her bakery anywhere else in the state, I probably would’ve lost contact with her as well.
“When do you need to go back to work?” Kami asked.
“I gotta leave in about five. I walked here.”
“That’s why your legs are so damn strong,” she said. “You walk everywhere. Don’t you own a car?”
“I do. But gas is expensive, and I enjoy the fresh air.”
“You’re strange.”
“I love you, too. But I gotta get going.”
I shoved the last of the sandwich into my mouth before I grabbed my chips and my drink. Kami stood up and gave me a massive hug, encompassing my entire body as she pulled me close. I couldn’t even swallow the rest of my sandwich until she let me go. Then I chased it with some soda before I cleared my throat.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I asked.
“Tomorrow’s booked, but Sunday I’m free,” Kami said.
“Cajun shrimp pasta at my place with a movie?” I asked.
“I’ll bring the wine,” she said, smiling.