My head was spinning. Caden had just told me he loved me. It was what I’d wanted to hear most, and what I had been feeling, too. But now that he’d said it, I was scared that I’d missed something, or that I’d heard him wrong.

Judging by the way he looked at me, though, I hadn’t gotten it wrong. It wasn’t only lust on his face, but love, too. I had always wanted something like this, and because I’d never been able to find it, I’d pushed anything close to it away. But this was the real deal.

I wanted Caden. I wanted him badly. I ached for him the way you ache for someone that has a part of you that you haven’t been able to find anywhere else. It was how I’d felt without him. It had only been one day since the awful run-in with the lawyers, but it felt like an eternity without him. When I thought I’d lost Caden, and that I’d ruined things for him, it felt like everything was crashing down around me.

But he was here now, offering me his heart. I wanted to give him mine, too.

At the same time, I was terrified I was making a mistake. This was me—the girl who doesn’t commit. I was too scared this wasn’t the right thing to do, that I wasn’t good enough for him, or that I would ruin it and he would walk away. It had always been easier to walk away first. But this was Caden. This wasn’t any man, it was the man that loved me. It was the man I loved in return.

Caden’s arms were wrapped around me, but it wasn’t about sex. It was about holding onto what we had, hoping to regain something we’d both thought we had lost.

Sleeping with Caden now wouldn’t be about a release the way it had been in California. Now it would be about showing what we felt for each other. It had been like that the last time we’d been together in California to an extent, and now that we had put it into words, everything was different.

Still, I was scared for me. Scared because I knew what I felt for Caden. This had nothing to do with sex. This had to do with my heart, and I was scared I’d eventually have to walk away again afterward and forget about him, the way I’d had to do with all the others. But I didn’t want to go back to not committing to someone. I didn’t know how to make it work with Caden because I had never made it work with anyone, but I wanted to make it work with him. I wanted to try. I was scared I would fail but walking away would be worse.

I didn’t want it to be a question. I wanted to be able to lose myself in Caden without wondering if I would be broken afterward.

Caden held me in his arms for a long time. Finally, he let me go and I was worried for a moment that this was it. But he cupped my face with both hands and kissed me. A kiss full of passion and emotion. It was sensual, rather than sexual. He poured everything he felt for me into that kiss and it was amazing.

His tongue slipped into my mouth and I sighed against his lips. My skin was hot. I was aware of the scrape of my tank top against my chest, and the rustle of Caden’s clothes.

“I missed you,” he said. He leaned his forehead against mine.

“I missed you, too,” I whispered.

It had only been a day, but it had felt like forever. He had felt it, too. We were on the same level. I couldn’t fathom how this had happened, but there it was. 

Caden kissed me again. His lips were soft on mine and I melted into him.

He leaned against me, spinning me around until he found the open wall space between my kitchen and living room. He pushed me against the wall with his body. His muscles were taut underneath his clothes, his dick was hard, pressing against my hip bone. My breath hitched in my throat and I was overcome by desire. I wanted this. Everything I’d been worrying about went out the window and it was just me and Caden in my apartment.

I didn’t know if I could be the woman he wanted. I was a mess. I didn’t know what would happen after this. But right this very minute, this was exactly what I wanted.

Caden’s hands moved down my neck. He slowly slipped lower and lower, until his fingers pushed underneath my tank top. I held my breath, waiting for him to touch me. He had touched me before, but this was different. I wanted him and it felt like the first time all over again. Except, this time we were driven by love, not lust. My skin burned with anticipation and I was nervous.

Maybe it was the first time in a long time—possibly ever—that I was making myself vulnerable, that I was opening myself to get hurt.

I reached up and pushed my hands into Caden’s hair. It was thick and I closed my hands into fists, tugging lightly. He groaned against my mouth and slid a hand onto my breast and squeezed, returning the gesture with the same amount of intensity. I gasped into his mouth.

“You’re beautiful,” he said through the kisses. I didn’t answer him. Instead, I let go of his hair and pulled my top over my head. I stood in front of Caden in my bra and pajama pants and I felt oddly self-conscious. Caden’s eyes slid over my body and all I could see in them was adoration.

He nodded as if confirming it to himself. “Beautiful.” His eyes found mine again and he smiled. I took a deep breath and pulled my pants down, too, kicking them off. Now, I was only in my bra and panties.

Caden reached up and cupped my breast with one hand, rubbing the nipple with his thumb through the fabric. It was like an on-switch. I moaned and melted into my panties.

“Come with me,” Caden said softly and took me by the hand, leading me to my bedroom. He pulled off his shirt and kicked off his pants and shoes, too, so that we were wearing the same amount of clothes.

Caden laid me down on the bed and crawled over me. I expected him to press the length of his body against me, to be all over me and take me the way he wanted it.

Instead, he only touched me with his lips and his hands. He started at my ankle and kissed his way up my leg, slowly, deliberately, making eye contact with me most of the time. The kisses tickled. They were erotic in a strange way, a way I hadn’t felt before. He made me feel like a goddess.

When he reached the apex of my thighs he did nothing to my pussy. Instead, he took the other leg in his hands and started the whole process again, worshipping every inch of my legs.

When he reached my thigh again he moved onto my hip bone. He worked his way over my lower abdomen, around my belly button, and up to my ribs. His hands were on my breasts but he didn’t knead them, kiss or even lick them. He carried on his slow kissing, planting a little bit of admiration on every part of exposed skin until there wasn’t one part of me that hadn’t been kissed. Not even my face, my arms, my hands, my fingertips.

This was different. He treated me like everything I felt was important. Like that was his only focus.

Caden kissed me on the mouth again. He slid his hand around my ribs and I arched my back for him, giving him access to the clip at the back. He undid my bra and I helped him peel it off of me. My panties followed. When I laid on the bed, naked in front of him, he looked at me like he was committing it to memory.

Climbing off the bed, he pulled off his underwear. His cock sprung free, hard and eager, and I watched him come close to me again. He lowered himself over me, then pushed his fingers into my slit to find that I was ready for him. Who would have thought that love was such a turn on?

Caden smiled and removed his hand, planting his arms on either side of my head. My thighs fell open for him and he positioned himself at my entrance. He slid in slowly and I moaned as he moved into me, all the way to the hilt. His cock felt different without a condom on. And I loved it. He paused for a moment and kissed me.

He started moving out again and pushed back in. I gasped, moving my hips with him. He was pushing in and out of me, a rhythm that I had grown accustomed to, but this was different.

This wasn’t fucking. Before, Caden and I had fucked. I had felt something for him but it had been about our bodies colliding, about getting a release. This time, it was about what we were together. This time, it was making love.

He cupped my breasts in his hands, twisting my nipples as he pushed in and out of me.

“That feels so good Caden. You’re going to make me cum!” I said, breathing heavily.

“I love how my cock fills you all the way up. Cum for me, baby.” he said, almost unable to complete a coherent sentence. 

The way his cock fit so tightly and perfectly in my pussy made me realize how much I wanted him inside me more than ever.

“Keep going. Just like that. I’m going to cum.” I said

“I’m going to cum, too. I’m going to explode inside you.” Caden screamed.

I could feel Caden’s sweet release deep inside me. He removed his cock and eagerly lapped up the juices that were pouring out of me. I’ve never experienced such intense orgasms as I did with Caden. It was pure ecstasy when I was with him.

When we were done, we laid in my bed, tangled in the sheets. I found a hair tie and pulled my hair away from my face. Caden laid on his back, me on his chest, running my hand over his abdomen.

I couldn’t believe that this was so easy. Being in love had always seemed a lot harder. I had thought it would be terrifying. Whenever I’d thought about being with someone before, I had dreaded it and done everything to escape as soon as I could.

With Caden everything was different. Maybe it was because I loved him. Maybe it was because I knew he loved me too. Maybe it was because Caden was the man for me. There was no denying it. We had fallen for each other in the shortest time and had been perfect together ever since. I didn’t want to give that up now, no matter how terrified of commitment I had been in the past.

A while ago, Caden had asked me if I would change my mind about commitment if the right guy came along. I hadn’t answered him then. I hadn’t known what to say. But if he asked me that question again, I would tell him yes. I would change my mind when it was the right guy.

I looked up at Caden. He kissed me and I smiled.

“I still can’t believe this is happening,” I said.

“What?” Caden asked.

“All of this,” I said. “You and me.”

Caden interlinked his fingers with mine. “Better believe it, babes. I love you, and I want to be with you.”

I smiled when he kissed me again.

“Did you mean it?” I asked.

“What?”

He stroked my back in circles and I loved the feeling. I closed my eyes.

“That you care more about me than the money.”

“Absolutely,” he said. “As long as I have you, I don’t need the money.”

I leaned up and looked at Caden. He frowned.

“Maybe there’s a way you can have both.”