Chapter 5 – Grace
It’s not even midnight and I’ve run out of things to do to keep my mind busy.
I’ve set up all my notebooks for class, gone over my schedule a hundred times, written my name in my books and organized them by size, read all of the introductions and gotten up to refill my water bottle at least five times, which of course means I’ve been to the bathroom to pee about five times as well.
And I still can’t get Tommy off my mind.
This is just ridiculous. How can one man, who I only “met” for about a minute, have some power over me already? And without even being here!
I feel like one of those girls in a sappy movie that falls in love with a guy the second he lays eyes on her.
Love!?
What am I saying? Right now, if I’ve fallen in anything, it’s lust. I don’t even know the guy, and asking me if I “see anything I like” is not enough to win my heart over. But right now, it’s not my heart that’s driving me, just like it wasn’t his when he invited me into the shower with him.
But I have to say. Besides the beautiful body and the monster penis, there is something else about him…something elusive…something intriguing, that has my mind spinning.
Maybe it’s just the sheer confidence that surprised me. I’m used to high school boys that are all bravado and bullshit and when you get them away from their guy friends, they end up turning into little boys in the blink of an eye.
Tommy isn’t like that. Tommy is a man in every sense of the word, and he’s only a year older than me. You don’t get that way simply by sleeping with a lot of girls. Some guys are born to grow into men and some aren’t. That’s all there is to it.
I don’t know how I know that but I do.
There’s more to Tommy Mason than his panty-melting grin and his hypnotic eyes. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself all evening…
Shannon’s watching some show on her laptop on the top bunk. She invited me to watch it with her, but it’s season two of something I’ve never watched and I had no idea who anybody was. It’s not like I could concentrate anyway.
So – what else is there to do? Go fill up my water bottle again!
“Be right back,” I tell her, getting up from my chair.
“More water?” Shannon laughs. I shrug and open the door and step out into the hall.
There’s a water fountain just past the door to the bathroom.
I wonder if he’s showering in there.
But of course he isn’t. That’s just my mind drifting back to our brief encounter earlier. I doubt I’ll ever be able to go into that bathroom again, or even look at the door, without the image of Tommy’s glistening body jumping into my head.
Those ab muscles…and then what’s below…
What would he do to me with that thing? How would it even fit?
No guy has even had his hands down there before. Having sex with Tommy would be like never having swam before and immediately going cliff diving into a roaring ocean filled with sharks and rocks.
But how could I not wonder? It’s only natural.
I unscrew my water bottle and hold it up to the water fountain.
I bet it would split me in half. It would definitely hurt.
I don’t know why, but that thought turns me on. It would be like going to the gym. You work out and it sucks, but you know the payoff is going to be amazing. Of course it would hurt, fitting something that big inside me, but after it would feel amazing. Wouldn’t it?
A huge part of me wishes I’d gotten into the shower with him. I can only imagine how that body would feel against mine. And he’s so tall! He has to be at least six feet. I’m average height and would love to look up at him as he wrapped his arms around me.
But maybe Shannon is right. Maybe all this thinking is bad for me and I should just purge all thoughts of Tommy Mason from my mind. What would a guy like him want with me anyway – after the initial conquest, of course.
I realize my water bottle is overflowing and water is spilling onto my hand. I dump some out and screw the cap back on and take a sip. The floor is silent. All the doors are closed. Everybody must be out partying.
I’ve never been a real party girl. Most Friday nights I’d rather be in curled up with a blanket and a book or a good show than out being an idiot at one of the parties. They always ended up getting busted by the cops anyway. One of them, I think it was Chrissie McDowell’s, had everyone sign into the party with their real names and Facebook links…so when the cops showed up, after the neighbors called them, everyone was instantly busted, even if they ran off.
I roll my eyes. High school.
I turn back toward my room and take another sip of my water. Please, somebody, give me something to do to take my mind off him! And that’s when the door to the stairwell at the end of the hall opens, and Tommy Mason steps through.
I swear my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my chest.
What is he doing here? Shouldn’t he be out partying?
For a brief second, he looks surprised to see me. But that look is instantly replaced by that same smile from the bathroom, a slight curling of his lips at the side of his mouth and an intensity from his eyes that makes me feel like I’m naked.
“Hey, you,” he says and starts walking toward me.
What do I do!?
Panic floods through me. My room is between him and me and he’s walking closer! If I don’t move now, I won’t be able to reach my door before him! Why do I even want to get into my room? Haven’t I wanted to see him all night?
But my feet won’t budge.
Move! Move, damn it!
But they won’t listen. Tommy’s walking toward me, and he’s saying something, but I’m freaking out too hard to hear him. Finally, I manage to urge myself forward and stride quickly toward my door.
I reach it just before he does and grab the handle.
“Hey, what’s the rush—?” He starts to say, but before he can finish, I shove the door in, hurl myself inside and slam it behind me.
That was close!
“What the Hell?” Shannon asks, looking up from her bunk.
I mouth, “Tommy Mason,” at her and point behind me.
“Oooooh,” she nods. Quickly, she pauses her show, puts her laptop aside and climbs down from the top bunk.
“What do I do?” I whisper.
“Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll handle this.”
Before I can react, Shannon brushes me aside and pulls open the door. I leap onto my bed, praying Tommy can’t see me from where he’s standing.
“Hey,” Shannon says blankly.
“Uh…hey,” Tommy replies, obviously confused. “You’re not who I’m looking for.”
“And who is it you’re looking for?” Shannon asks.
“I uh – I don’t know her name,” he confesses. “The other girl who lives here.”
“No one else lives here,” Shannon lies. Tommy knows it’s a lie, but Shannon doesn’t care.
“Then who just came in here a second ago?”
“Nobody.”
“Come on, quit bullshitting me,” he says. I peek out from my bunk and see him eyeing through the crack in the door for clues. His eyes land on my desk and my corkboard above it, right where I’ve written my name in big bold letters.
“Grace!” He says, pointing and laughing. “I’m looking for Grace! Grace, you here?!”
Part of me wants to curl up under the sheets, melt into a puddle of goo, drip through the floor and outside and then slither off back to my mom’s house. But another part of me wants to kick Shannon out the door, grab Tommy by the neck and drag him on top of me.
“Leave her alone,” Shannon says, making the decision for me. “You wouldn’t be interested in her anyway.”
“Oh, yeah? Why’s that.”
“Because,” she says. “She’s a virgin!”
My heart almost explodes.
Shannon slams the door in his face.