One Week Later
“Hey man, what’s up?”
“Hey, Caden.”
I hugged my best friend and clapped his back. I was glad to be back from my father’s because it gave me time to clear my head.
Even though Paige and I were on the same side, I could tell things were getting tense between all of us. I knew Paige was disappointed when I didn’t immediately accept the offer of a new house, no matter how many times she said she wasn’t, and every time my father could get me alone, he would mention it. He even went so far as to slip me some printouts of some wonderful homes around Brookings just to tempt me.
I was glad to be out of there, but I still hadn’t given him an answer.
“How was the trip to your father’s?” Caden asked.
“It was good. Got some one on one time with Paige. Blithe got time with my father. Everyone left happy.”
“Then why do I get the feeling you’re here for advice?” he asked.
“Because this restaurant made you too smart. How are you guys doing, by the way?”
“Well, we made it through the first year, which is always the hardest. Only had one month where we weren’t profitable, and I can attribute that to the weather. So, this year we’re preparing some dishes and deals to entice people to come out even if the weather becomes shit.”
“That’s really awesome,” I said. “I’m glad things are looking up.”
“You hungry? I could have the kitchen whip you up something.”
“No, I’m good.”
“What about a drink?” he asked. “On the house.”
“Fine, if you’re gonna twist my arm.”
“Atta boy. I’ll be right back.”
I felt like shit. I didn’t even have enough money to come have dinner in my best friend’s restaurant. I was happy that their first year went so well, though part of me was thinking about all the money I’d given to it.
Owning part of the business brought us in a little monthly revenue, but nothing to shake a stick at. Just enough to pay our phone and electric bill. It helped, but there was a part of me that could’ve thought of a million ways to invest the money I’d given Caden for this restaurant. The sad part was that if I took more of my inheritance money, I could give Caden even more, and also not have such money problems at home.
Fuck. I was a shitty friend.
“Here,” he said. “Try our newest seasonal brew.”
“What is it?”
“Just try it,” he said.
I took a sip of it and was immediately assaulted by pumpkin. There was a hint of honey and an undertone of cinnamon, and then I was whacked in the face with the alcohol content. It was a delicious beer, although an overpoweringly strong one that I could only see myself drinking on special occasions.
I guess this counted as one of those. And time I was able to spend with Caden these days did, now that we were both busy— him with his restaurant and me with my family. So, I raised the glass high in the air and grinned.
“To wonderful beer that isn’t that shitty stout crap. May people finally come to their senses.”
“You’re a dick,” Caden said, chuckling.
“This is a really good beer,” I said. “I take it it’s a fall beverage.”
“Yep. I’ve been perfecting the concoction. This is the only tap we have of it so far. Anything you’d change?”
I nodded. “The alcohol content is a bit strong. If you want people to drink more than one, I’d suggest lowering it. And perhaps tone done the pumpkin taste just a bit.”
“See? This is why I need you around. You help me tweak shit like this. Has the lumber yard fired you yet so I can scoop you up? I mean, I have you to thank for this place. It only makes sense that you’d work here.”
“Shockingly enough, not yet,” I said.
“So, what’s this advice you come seeking.”
“I never said I was seeking advice.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Cut the shit, Zach. What’s going on?”
“My father sort of dropped a bomb in my lap when we went up there.”
“I knew it.”
“What?” I asked.
“Look, I love you rekindling shit with your dad and all, but he’s your dad. You know, the shithead from your childhood? I get that Paige wants to think he’s changed, and I’m sure he’s good with Blithe, but something about him still gives me the creeps.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Really. Always swooping in and paying for shit. Like opening night here, and yours and Paige’s wedding.”
“You think he has ulterior motives because he’s paying for shit?” I asked.
“I think that people can bury parts of themselves, but not change.”
“Gotcha,” I said. “Well, wanna know the bomb?”
“Oh, yeah. That. What was it?”
“He wants to buy us a house.”
My words silenced Caden before he started laughing. “You’re fucking serious.”
“As a heart attack,” I said.
“Your father— the man who spent most of your life being an abusive dick— wants to buy you a house?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“Dude. Zach. Okay. I love you, man. I’ve known you for years. I watched your mother swim through some serious shit. I think maybe you’ve lost sight of who this man really is.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“For years, Zach— years— you blamed this man for your mother’s death. It took you years to swallow your anger and keep going.”
“But according to you, I only buried it. I didn’t change.”
He snorted. “You’re different.”
“Because I’m not abusive?” I asked.
“I see Paige’s logical thought processes have rubbed off on you,” he said. “Look, I just think your father has ulterior motives. He’s a businessman. He doesn’t do anything without looking to cash in eventually. Maybe it’s something harmless like writing this shit off on his taxes, or maybe it’s something massive, like wanting you to participate in a mob hit.”
“A mob hit?” I asked.
“It’s just an example, but it’s a prime one. Taking charity is a slippery slope. You know this.”
“I know,” I said.
“And if you take something from someone you can’t pay back, then in their eyes, you owe them. Always.”
His words hit hard. I took another pull from my beer. “You think that’s what he’s doing?”
“Can you really take the chance with Paige and Blithe in the picture?”
“I don’t feel that he’s got an ulterior motive,” I said.
“And that’s fine. Until you take the house, get settled in, and he comes knocking to cash in. Then what are your feelings going to do to help?”
“You’d be an entertaining lawyer, you know that?”
“I’m apparently an entertaining business owner, too. My chef is constantly laughing with me.”
“You sure it’s not at you?” I asked, grinning.
“Can I ask why you’re considering taking the house?”
“I’m not considering it,” I said.
“You wouldn’t be seeking advice if you had already turned your father down. What’s going on? Is something wrong with the place you guys are in now?”
“Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s just that we’ll outgrow it eventually. Blithe will get older, and Paige and I are talking about having a child someday.”
Caden smiled. “Oh, shit. Are you serious? Congratulations. Another round of beers for the table!”
“No, it’s nothing that’s happening anytime soon,” I said. “And no more of that beer. It’s strong. I’ll have to eat just to soak up the alcohol so I can drive myself home.”
“Then get yourself some food. Come on. I haven’t really seen you in almost two months.”
“Dude, I can’t eat here. Paige is cooking dinner.”
“You can’t eat here, or you don’t have the ability to?”
I clenched my jaw and sat back in the booth, saying nothing.
“You know all you have to do is come here,” Caden said. “I’ll pay you whatever the fuck it takes. I’ve got the money, and you’re a superb cook. I’ve been looking to branch out in the to-go realm of things, but I’d need to take on another chef.”
“I’m good, Caden.”
“Zach.”
“I said I’m good, okay? I’m fine at the lumber company and Paige’s artwork is good. It’s fine.”
“But you could be great,” he said. “Or wonderful. Or fantastic.”
“Would you fucking drop it?”
Another beer was set in front of me. I sighed and closed my eyes. “I don’t think my father has ulterior motives, but I also know you could be right. Especially with my father’s shady past. Maybe I could just take more money from my inheritance, so that I’m only taking what is rightfully mine, and I don’t feel beholden to him for always buying us stuff.”
Caden nodded. “I know you want what’s best for your girls, and right now, you’re probably thinking you don’t care about how you acquire it. But I care about keeping you guys safe. Sometimes, safety’s more important than just having the best.”
A sizzling plate of appetizers was slid onto the table, sending my saliva glands into overdrive.
“On the house,” Caden said as he slid out of the booth.
“Thanks, man.”
“And Zach?”
“What?” I asked.
“All you gotta do is say the word.”
I ate the delectable appetizers and polished off my second beer before I left. I took my time so I wasn’t tipsy. I wanted to do some riding before I went back home. Paige wasn’t really expecting me for dinner. That had been a lie because I didn’t want to stay too long or drink too much.
Blithe was at a sleepover with a friend, and I was hoping it would give Paige the space she needed to do some painting. I knew she was stressed, and I knew she was worried about the sales of her artwork. I also knew that painting was her lifeline. It was how she centered herself when the world around her was in upheaval.
I didn’t want her to paint for money. Tonight, I wanted her to paint for pleasure.
I rode along the coast and breathed the salty air in deep. My soul was in turmoil. Our pockets were as strained as they could get. We were now at a point where dropping excess luxuries would need to take place in order to free up funds.
Streaming services Paige used and the unlimited data on my phone would have to disappear. We would have to find ways to start saving energy so we could slowly roll back the dollar amount of our bills, and part of me was ready to start looking at apartments to live in if we sold the brownstone.
And to think, I was actually a billionaire, if only I’d let myself access the money. But it felt so tied up with my dad and my past that I kept letting it hold me back.
How the fuck had things spiraled so far out of control? How the hell did they get so messed up? Why was Paige’s artwork no longer selling? Why the fuck had we been so stupid with our taxes? Why was the lumber yard no longer asking me if I wanted overtime hours?
It was like life was trying to scream something at me, but I couldn’t hear the words.
I parked alongside the beach and took a stroll out to the water. I raised my face up to the stars and allowed the wind to wrap around my body. Every time the wind kicked up, I smiled.
It made me feel like my mom was still here. It always made me feel like she was still trying to wrap her arms around me and hold me close to her like she had when I was younger. I felt the waves lapping at my boots as the cold wind sent shivers down my spine.
As I thought about my mother, I noticed something. It was the first time I was thinking about my mother without any anger in my system.
Usually, thoughts of my mother brought untamed hatred for my father. It would spur thoughts of my father, which would make me angry and make me curse his existence.
This time, though, her memory wasn’t tainted with anger. I could see her chasing after me on the lawn, but there was no frustration. I could hear her voice in my ear, but there was no anger at the fact that she was gone. I could feel her holding me close as we swung on the porch swing of our home here in Brookings, but there was no hatred toward my father.
That was when it hit me. Maybe Caden was wrong. Maybe people could change.