SOFIA SOL

After brushing my teeth last of anyone on our floor, I’m about to slip into the bedroom I share with Celia when Luke appears at the end of the hall. He doesn’t go into his and Atlas’s room right away. He pauses, stares at me, copper skin full of shadows and muscle, sharp cheekbones twitching and dark chocolate eyes intense.

He has the gruffness of his father when he moves and when he talks. He didn’t used to, but when Honey Badger made him wait to become a true Cipher because he ‘felt too much’ and let things get to him, Luke toughened up. But there’s a restraint and intuitiveness that lives in him that will never go away, and that’s all Meg.

I challenge him, voice barely a whisper so I don’t wake anyone. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Luke’s thick fingers pause on the doorknob and start to turn it, but release at the last second. He cocks his gorgeous head and strolls over to me, beefy legs kicking out with each methodical step.

We haven’t broken eye contact once.

Jogging his chin he asks with barely a sound, “Who was the guy?”

Your brother.

“Just some ranch hand over at Laurel house.”

Or your brother.

His head tilts to the other direction as he inspects me, not believing a word of what I just said. “Name?”

“Juan.”

He smirks, “Three Juans in a staff of twenty guys.”

I shrug a shoulder. “Why do you care?”

“The shorter Juan, the older Juan, or the skinny Juan who might be gay?”

“We’re all a little gay, aren’t we?”

Luke’s eyes glitter. “Not me. Not one bit.”

My smile grows. “I know not you. I’m teasing you, because it’s so easy.”

His right thumb unhooks from the faded denim pocket and that hand reaches for me, on its side, gliding just shy of touching my body like it’s heading for my face but in no hurry to get there. I flinch in surprise, which makes me angry. It shows weakness to be taken off guard. But Luke never touches me unless it’s with focus mitts or Thai pads.

Those are the rules for us.

We used to wrestle when we were kids, especially he and I since he was always surprised I could take him down—I’m not exactly tall—but the last time was when he was fifteen and he’s, what, twenty-seven now? It was when his limbs and chest really started filling out, when that kind of horsing around became a no-no as declared by my parents. You and Luke will only train with pads, punches and kicks, from now on, Sofia Sol. No more wrestling, choke holds, or ground work. Don’t give me that look, you heard me, Mom said, with Dad on a chair behind her, his legs sprawled and her planted between them. But his eyes were sharp and attentive even as he acted casual. I knew they’d discussed it. They had that, it’s-us-against-our-rebellious-daughter look they so often get. Drives me crazy.

Tonight Luke seems like he’s going to break the barrier set by them all those years ago. It’s the second brother I’ve crossed a boundary with tonight, only this time I didn’t instigate it. And that makes me nervous, and a little too excited? My blood is racing.

He cups my chin, lightly, callouses sending goosebumps dancing down my chest as the thick, dark fringe of his short eyelashes drops to watch. He leans close enough to kiss me if he wanted to.

What is he doing?

Seeing if I’ll smack him away?

So he can laugh and say he got me good?

Don’t let him kiss you.

I just did a lot more with Atlas earlier tonight, and there’s no way this would be okay.

“What?” I whisper, frozen.

Luke touches the edge of my cheek, runs his fingers along my hairline and pushes my hair back to access my ear. My knees nearly buckle as the pads of his calloused fingertips brush my neck. It’s so soft I could pretend he caressed me by accident, but I don’t think that’s true. Directly into my ear he whispers, “Atlas was supposed to meet me in the marsh. Didn’t show. And when he did, do you really think I couldn’t tell that something was different about him?”

“You’re crazy.”

Goosebumps fly down my side as he holds there, his breath warm on my neck and making me ache against my will, heat pooling between my thighs. “Crazy, huh? That’s what people always say when you catch them after they’ve fucked someone they’re not supposed to.” He takes a sensually firm hold of my head to add, locking eyes with me, our mouths so close I can smell that he just had a shot of tequila, “You know what really pisses me off? Not that you weren’t supposed to do it. I’m jealous you chose him and not me. And I’m even more pissed that now it’s too late.”

He releases me and walks off, strides more emotional than before. Running a hand through his raven-black hair, he shakes his shoulders out like he’s trying to erase arousal, put me and that hot moment behind him.

I’m stunned, and confused. Because he just called out my secret and gave me a new one…his. I don’t know how deep it goes but from the reaction I’ve had to it, I’m not sure I want to. Everything could change, and I want it to stay the same. I love this home, our home, just as it is.

And yet I’m staring at Luke like I can’t stop.

His doorknob gets the turning it was promised and Atlas’s dream-filled snores drift into the hallway. But before Luke Martinez vanishes into their bedroom, he throws me one last hungry glance like he might come back. His dark gaze slides down my body and slowly up again, lighting it up as if he were touching me. My lips are parted, breath held. His thick eyelashes fall as he shakes his head, disappears, and locks the door.

It feels impossible to move. I have to force myself to break from the frozen position he left me in. My hands are weighted down as I reach for our antique doorknob and walk into our room.

Inside, covering my mouth so I don’t wake Ceels, I gasp for air.

The tiny nightlight we’ve had since we were little girls illuminates her beautiful profile. She must have changed the bulb because it was dark for a month plus. Seeing her sleeping only makes this harder than if I crawled into bed in pure darkness. I wish I could tell her the trouble I’ve caused. Share what Luke just confessed to me. Ask her why it upset me so much!

My fingernails are impotent claws on the back of our door.

What did he just do to me?

For the first time in my life I feel regret for my actions.