MADISON

“How’d it go?” Denise asks from the couch before her expression falls. “Uh oh. Not good, huh?”

“No, it was great, but then I screwed up.” Squatting to pet my excited dog I glance back at her to shrug, “Or maybe I was smart. I really don’t know anything anymore. I’m very confused.”

She rises from the couch. “This requires chocolate.”

“No, chocolate will make me more depressed.”

“Okay, those two things do not go together! You need to tell me what happened.”

Walking to the kitchen with Bucky on my heels I grumble, “Wine I can do.”

Denise pulls some long-stemmed glasses from my cupboard while I uncork a bottle of rosé. “Madison, can I guess what you did?”

“No,” I frown, locking eyes with her for a brief second. “I don’t want to find out I’m predictable.”

Undeterred, she goes on to say, “He made a move and you shot him down.” She plucks a clean dishtowel from one of my drawers and begins to wipe spots off my glassware. “Am I right?”

“Well, that’s not too hard to guess.”

“So I’m right.”

“Yes, but that’s not the issue. I thought you were going to specifically guess how it happened. Then I would have been upset.”

“Mmhmm,” she hums, setting one glass down to shine the other. “You were having a great time. He even plied you with chocolate treats. You loosened up, despite your usual uptight and cautious nature. You agreed to sleep with the man, and then when the time came, you changed your damn mind. Probably gave him some magnanimous speech, too, didn’t you?”

Blinking at her, I removed the cork, its pop a punctuation mark. “Jeez.”

She holds out a glass for me to pour. “Do you think I don’t know you?”

Crumbling, I set the wine down and walk away, dragging both hands through my hair. “Why didn’t I just go with him?”

“You were scared. It’s that simple.”

“I know! But life is short!”

Pouring she mutters, “Not short enough to waste years holding a torch for some man you once touched who was too fine to forget.” Walking to me she extends a glass. “We are toasting your wisdom.”

“I don’t know if we can call it that. When you have the chance to be with a man like him, you take it.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

Exhaling I admit, “Because I would’ve never forgotten him.”

“Exactly.”

“So I didn’t screw up?”

Her full lips squish to the side as she considers it a moment. “There are two sides to this. One, you jump in and probably get your heart broken. The other, you’re safe and you wait for a man who won’t break your heart. And when you meet him, you’ll be available to him because your heart won’t be hooked on another man’s cock.”

I clink our glasses together. The thing about friends is they help you work through your choices, good and bad.

As we walk back to the comfort of my sofa I sigh, “What if I never meet him?”

“The him?”

“Yes.”

Denise balances her glass as she tucks one foot under her butt and gets cozy. “Is there really a ‘The him?’”

I give Bucky a pet while I sip. “Too many people on the planet for there to be just one soulmate for each of us. What if my guy speaks only Mandarin and lives in China?”

“What if my man’s living in Alaska right now and loves the snow—which I don’t?” she asks.

Pulling a chenille throw blanket over our legs I agree, “What if my man is an astronaut on a mission to Mars and will be gone for the next five-to-ten years? What then?”

She nearly shouts the question, “You wait for him? Oh, hell no! God cannot be that cruel. There are too many wonderful people on this planet and you just gotta find one that you look forward to seeing every day. Like me with you. Why can’t we be gay?”

“Right?” I grumble. “It would be so great if I was into you. We already love each other.”

Denise announces, “I love you almost as much as I love me!” before taking a drink. “Almost.”

I touch my glass to my forehead. “Thank you for making me feel better.”

“You talking to the wine?”

Under my breath I laugh, “To you.”

She gives me a gentle smile. “You gonna be okay?”

I reach for the softness of Bucky’s shiny coat. “Yeah. It was just…fun being with him. He’s very easy to talk to. And his cousin Ethan and his wife and daughter joined us for dinner.”

Denise’s head flies back. “Say what?”

Diving into the evening I describe every detail. It’s important to cover everything so we can dissect the underlying meaning of it all. After we tear the night to shreds, and drink the bottle dry, Denise finally blinks away from me with a frown.

“I have no idea what’s gonna happen, Maddie. I really don’t. We’ve seen him with how many girls?” She pauses, “That man is the biggest player in town. When a guy is that good-looking, it’s like you said. Everyone wants him.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, staring at Bucky before meeting her eyes again. “Especially me. I want him pretty badly.”

She tilts her head and reaches over to touch my knee. “Oh honey, it’s a good thing you didn’t get on that cock tonight.”

“Amen.”