MADISON

Struggling for something, I blurt, “I’m sober, too, just like you are!”

Nicholas laughs, “Oh yeah, totally, I can tell. And who says I’m sober?”

“Your eyes are very clear.”

“Visine.”

I blink at him. “Really?”

“No. You wanna tell me what that was about?”

“Why should I tell you anything?”

“Because I just saved your life,” he smirks.

“Yeah, right. From her? I was just about to show her my fist.”

He laughs, “Okay, sure. Why? What went down with you two?”

“Why don’t you ask Marla?” I challenge. “She seems to know you, intimately. But then again she has a vagina and lives in Atlanta, so of course she knows you!”

Running long fingers through chocolate-brown hair that looks super soft, Nicholas shakes his head. “Wow, you are something else.”

“She called me fat!”

He frowns, head swiveling a little. “She did?”

“To my face!” Pointing at my butt, I ask, “You see this? Women like her pay money to have an ass like mine!” I give it a slap and show him a better view. “Round and fun. That’s what I call this.” Pausing, I admit, “Not out loud. Just to myself. But I do call it that.” With more energy and volume I slap it once more. “People pay for this! They pay for it!”

Nicholas leans against the door and smirks, “You keep slapping your ass and I’ll pay for it.”

My jaw shuts. I might have made a noise I have never made before. Maybe.

“Slugger…did you just squeak?”

Okay, I definitely did.

“No!”

“You squeaked.” Pushing off the door he strolls over with a swagger so sexy the walls sigh. “That was adorable.”

Involuntarily I step back. “Hold it right there!”

The flirtatious glint he has physically alters my body chemistry, shockwaves soaring new life into neglected and atrophied places.

And he keeps walking closer.

Appalled at my involuntary reaction I stammer, more to remind myself, “You already had sex with someone tonight!”

Nicholas pauses, turns his head a little. “Just stand here a second, would ya?”

My lips part.

He closes the distance.

I stop breathing entirely.

Slow fingers reach for my breast.

He picks something off my baggy sweater. Showing a red-painted sliver to me, we eye it together.

“Her nail broke off. You want it as a souvenir?”

“Um…yes.” I offer him my open palm, heart-line bared and ready for someone to read my lack of good fortune.

He places the nail directly on it.

“There.”

We stare at it a beat. I turn my hand upside down, let her DNA fall to the carpet. “Yuck.”

He stifles a laugh, inspecting me. “What did Denise call you…Addie? Like Addison?”

“Maddie. Like Madison.”

“I’m Nicholas.”

“I know.”

He blinks. “Oh, that’s right. You called me Cocker. Have we met?”

“No, I just…” Want to have your babies and see you grow old. “…come to these parties a lot.”

His eyes narrow. “You do?”

Dryly I mutter, “Glad I made an impression.”

He laughs, white teeth gorgeous. “You’re really funny, I like that.” He waves his hand, smile waning. “And forget about Marla. She shouldn’t have called you fat. You’re voluptuous.” His eyes sparkle and hold on me. “I like that, too.”

Swallowing my excitement I stare back at him, unable to move. I can usually employ a pretty good poker face but today? It’s taking a lunch break.

The only guy I’ve ever pined for in my life is a mere foot away from me and I wish he were closer. I cannot be blamed for appearing eager.

Oh God, is there yearning in my eyes?

Clearing my throat, I lean on sarcasm. It’s carried me through worse predicaments. “Thank you. Good to know someone appreciates the effects of dairy during childhood the way I do.”

Beautifully thick eyelashes drop to check me out, taking their sweet time as he drinks in the sight of my breasts.

Even in this sweater anyone can tell I have a hard time finding bras that don’t hurt my back.

I almost joke, “Wanna milk me?” but bite my tongue, instead. Enough to almost draw blood.

What are you doing, Madison?

He just had sex with that…person.

It’s gross, not sexy.

He is not sexy.

He’s gross.

Yeah, right.

He’s my dream.

But nice try.

The pep talk worked a little, though, because I hear myself saying with a self-protective tone, “Wasn’t one girl entertainment enough for one night, Cocker?”

“Can never have enough entertainment, Slugger.”

“Then go to the movies.”

“I like the show right in front of me. Have any popcorn left?” Gorgeous fingers float up, lightly touch my lips, brush across them and tickle me. But I keep staring at him like this isn’t affecting me. His eyes catch fire, amber glittering in the recesses.

“Mmm. What if I just…”

He leans in.

I have wanted to kiss this man so many times—but all of them were because I saw him kissing someone else in a way that inspired envy.

I will not be a number.

I have a name.

And a huge heart.

I want more.

If I can’t have it all?

I don’t want anything.

I’d rather be with a man who can give me his all, than give mine to one who’ll return nothing that lasts.

With an ache I jump back. “What do you think you’re doing?”

He reacts, straightening up on a deep frown. I bet I’m the only woman who ever did that, pulled away. His voice is husky and confused. “Testing the waters.”

“They’re cold.”

“I can see that.”

My eyelids feel heavy as I curse my will power. “I’m not interested. In fact I think you’re a jerk.”

A grin flashes toward one of the cream walls, and flickers as he thinks about what I just did. “Guess we should part ways then.”

I mutter, “Guess so, but this was fun,” flicking a glance to the carpet.

He holds open the door, narrowing his eyes like he can’t figure me out. “You’re interesting, Maddie. I haven’t been surprised in a long time.”

On a whim I reach for the fingernail, pick it up and bring it to him. Pressing the sliver into his amused palm I smile, “This is to remember me by.”

As I walk into the hall, leaving him and this crazy half-hour behind me forever, I square my shoulders and console myself. You did the right thing. Walking out of here needing a tissue between your legs would have reverberated in your heart for years. Not worth it.

Nicholas calls after me, “Thanks for the free rear view. But I would have paid for it.”

I stifle a laugh. “Very funny! Save your charm. I’m not falling for it!”

“No shit!”

Shaking my head I return to the kitchen, walking into a throng of strangers, and wondering if Denise had me pegged. Maybe I am stubborn.

But I’ve had a crush for over a year.

Nicholas would chew me up and spit me out. I’m not like these party people who live for the thrill of immediacy and freedom.

I’m a nester. I prefer to stay at home, watch a great Sci-Fi movie, cook a delicious meal and go to bed early.

Introvert, that’s me.

Not stylish, also me.

Wishing I would go back in that room, lock the door, and get naked?

Me again.