I FIND ZOE in the kitchen, and after last night’s conversation with Maiya, I’m pissed at her. I know she’s said something to make her take up the argument.
‘Keep your fucking opinions to yourself in future,’ I snap as she is just about to pop a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.
‘Well, fuck you too, Brad. What the hell have I done?’
‘Maiya, having bright fucking ideas of using another donor ring any bells?’
‘Shit, Brad. I didn’t mean anything by that. She picked it up from an off-the-cuff remark. I told her it wasn’t something we need to worry about right now.’
‘Yeah, well you try to tell her that now. She’s like a fucking horse, chomping at the bit.’
‘It is true though, Brad and it will happen sooner rather than later.’
‘I know that. It’s been on my mind from the beginning. But that doesn’t mean I wanted her worrying about this shit. You shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Brad, what do you want me to do? Not speak to her? Because I like to think we’re friends, and friends talk, Brad, especially females, and I’m not going to lie to her.’
Fucking hell. I’m being a dick. ‘Sorry, I didn’t sleep well—what with all that happened with Brody’s mother and then her bringing that up last night. I’m in a pissy mood.’
‘That’s okay. Don’t do it again, though, ‘cause I’ll throat punch you, next time,’ she says, smiling. I laugh, pop some bread in the toaster, and pour some coffee. I feel like crawling right back into bed when I get back upstairs, but I think the smell of coffee wakes Maiya, and she sits up.
‘Morning.’ I smile. I love that just woken up look—she wears it so fucking well. As she rubs her eyes, I sit on the bed and sip my coffee, just taking in the view.
‘How are you feeling today?’ I ask her. She tossed and turned a lot last night. I don’t think it was her nightmares, but she had a fitful sleep for sure. I have to be in the surveillance room in less than thirty minutes, but I place our coffee and toast on the side table, and I crawl on the bed beside her. On top of the covers, so I don’t get any ideas—that would make me late. She yawns and eyes up the coffee.
‘I’m okay. Tired, how about you?’ she says looking concerned.
‘I’m good—could do with a few more hours sleep, but I need to be in the surveillance room in half an hour.’
She grumbles like it’s the worst plan since the dawn of time and I have to laugh. ‘Gotta keep our eyes open after yesterday. We can’t take risks.’
‘I know—does it mean we can’t go anywhere at all?’
‘No, just means we have to go in a group—never alone. We don’t know if that fucker might do something before the date he’s given us. And if I were him, I’d be planning shit when we’re least expecting it. So, gotta be on the ball.’
‘You think he has what it takes to take on a pack like this?’
‘No, I don’t—not many packs could, but that doesn’t mean we won’t lose people if they try, and we want to avoid that at all costs, nobody’s life is worth being stupid.’
‘God, Brad. We were just settling down after all that in Phoenix. I was hoping to come back and have some semblance of a normal life, you know?’
I laugh at her remark. ‘What’s a normal life though, sweetheart?’
‘I don’t even know anymore.’ She laughs with me. ‘I guess we make our own normal?’
‘I like the sound of that,’ I tell her honestly.
I’m in the surveillance room, later that day, when Jared comes in.
‘I’ve been thinking about you all going back home for Christmas, and I’m not going to let that snivelling little fucker stop everyone’s plans. What I’ll do is request people head up here to us who don’t have families to spend their time with on Christmas day. You okay going down Christmas Eve and heading back Boxing Day?’
I nod as I switch between cameras. He’s caught me in the middle of a sweep. ‘I know it’s not much time with your family, but I’d rather have you all stay here if I’m fucking honest. I don’t like separating.’
‘Yeah, I understand. I get it, but if we can go just for the day, that’s better than nothing. My mum and dad will be made up.’
He nods his head. ‘Yeah, they will be. You should definitely go.’ He claps his hand on my shoulder as if he’s about to leave.
‘Jared, can I ask you something else?’
‘Shoot. What’s up?’
‘You might wanna sit for this one.’
‘Fucking hell, what?’ He says, sitting on the only other chair in the room.
‘Nothing to worry about. It’s just something that needs thinking about.’
‘Okaaay, what the fuck is it?’
‘Maiya—’
He breathes out on a huff before cutting me off.
‘What about her?’
The way he says it pisses me off a bit, but I let it go. ‘I want permission to change her if it’s safe.’
‘Fuck, Brad. I don’t know a wolf alive who’s seen that happen.’
‘I do.’
‘Who?’ he asks like I’m talking bullshit. But I’m not. My grandparents were kids when people were brought into the pack. I’m not sure how they were changed or how it went, but I know it happened because the numbers were low. And although they aren’t around now, they have friends that still are around—some of them could even be those people that were changed.
‘My grandparents were teens when a whole group were brought in because pack numbers were low and mates were needed. They told me stories about it—’
‘They’re not here though, Brad.’
‘No, but they have friends still alive back home. Jared, all I want is permission to do it if we can. The blood situation is getting worse, and I don’t know how long she’ll be able to go on with that alone. Either I’ll be hooked up to a transfusion machine permanently to keep her alive, or she’ll die without it. I can’t deal with that, and I won’t let her die. So, it’s something we need to think about soon.’
‘Okay, I feel ya. After Christmas is over, we’ll look into it. Do me a favour though, and don’t tell Devon. She’ll have a fucking fit over that shit.’
‘Not a problem. I won’t.’ I laugh. I don’t want to get between those two.
‘Everything okay out there?’ he asks motioning to the screens with multiple cameras.
‘Yeah, everything is good at the minute. I’m on the fucking edge though. A bastard squirrel caught me off guard earlier, and I nearly hit the fucking ceiling. I hate this waiting shit. I would rather deal with the problem head on.’
‘Preaching to the fucking choir, my friend.’ He claps my shoulder and leaves. That makes me feel a bit better. I hoped he’d be on board. Now I know he has my back with it, I can hopefully sleep tonight.
By the time Brody comes in for his shift, I’m fucking starving. I wonder where Maiya is when I get to the kitchen—she normally pops in to see me when I’m on shift. Logan and Imogen are cooking up a storm,
‘Either of you seen Maiya?’ I ask grabbing ham from the fridge.
‘She was with Devon and Zoe earlier, but I haven’t seen her since, think they were watching movies or something,’ Imogen answers. I stuff the ham straight in my mouth, forgoing bread so I can find her quickly. I find her curled up on the sofa in the TV room. She looks adorable. One of the girls must have covered her up, and left her here, asleep. I debate whether I should just climb on the sofa beside her, but instead, I gather her in my arms and carry her to our room. She stirs as I lift her but snuggles into me, her face against my neck as I ascend the stairs as carefully as I can. Today has been quiet in regards to any trouble, and I’m hoping it stays that way. I just want to get this girl home to meet my parents.
I get her to bed, and my stomach starts fucking growling—like seriously fucking loud. I curse quietly because it wakes her up. I try and move away from her quickly, so she doesn’t wake properly—she needs her rest. But as I try to pull away she clasps her hand around mine.
‘Where are you going?’ she asks sleepily.
‘I’m just gonna jump in the shower, sweetheart. I’ll wake you when dinner is ready, okay?’
‘Mmhmm,’ she mumbles, and I think she’ll be asleep again in no time. I get in the shower. I ache from sitting in that chair, looking at the screens all day. I get under the spray and let it massage the back of my neck—it feels good. I feel the cold air before I realise the door is open, and I feel Maiya step in behind me. Still can’t get used to the fact that she’s mine. I turn and smile at her. She doesn’t speak. Instead, turns me back around so I’m facing away from her, palms flat against the wall. She takes the shower head in her hand and runs it along my neck and shoulders. Close up, it feels even fucking better than it did on the wall. I groan as her other hand kneads at the knots in my muscles there. My head lolls forward, and I press my forehead against the cold tiles.
‘You enjoy that?’ she asks, her breath fanning the curve of my ear. Don’t fucking ask me why but the whole fucking thing with the shower has turned me on so fucking much. I turn and take her mouth with mine. Her hands come up around my neck. I hear the showerhead clunk against the wall, and we are sprayed from all directions as it sways and spins from the power of the water. Maiya squeals and giggles against my mouth. The spray is right between our legs now, and it gives me an idea. Showers like this can be very good for stimulation—maybe this could be fun. I turn her so she has her back to my chest. I move the shower spray slowly up her leg, so she knows where it’s going. I feel her tense against me.
‘Relax, beautiful. I’ve got you.’ As the spray lands on her thigh, I change the setting on the head so it’s now a single jet. My arms are around her waist, and I push her thighs apart with my other hand. I lick down the wet skin on her neck, and as I nibble at the juncture between her neck, and shoulder, she moans a little. I bring the jet of water to her clit, slowly circling it. She gasps at the initial feel of it and then she throws her head back against me. ‘Let go’ I tell her. I want her to relax and enjoy it. I push a finger inside her while circling the jet of water. Her face is close to my ear, so I hear every moan and hitch of her breath, and if it’s possible to make me harder, it does. I’m tucked against her, just above the crease of her ass. I watch her face as her mouth makes that perfect ‘O’. So fucking gorgeous. I curl my fingers inside, and I watch the moment her climax hits. Fucking beautiful. I get her through it, and just as she’s coming down, I remove my fingers, pushing them into her mouth. Then I take her lips with mine and gather that taste on my tongue. ‘Best fucking taste in the world.’ I tell her, with our foreheads pressed together. Her smile and the little shake of her head makes me smile. God, I feel so fucking lucky right now.
I lift her by the ass, and she climbs up my body like she’s done it a million times before. As I line myself up with her pussy, she kisses me like she’s desperate. I go with it, trying to remember in the back of my mind that she needs to keep control, but before I know it, I have her pressed up against the glass, and I’m thrusting inside her hard and fast. Fuck me.
‘I’m gonna come, babe, I’m sorry,’ I tell her. I grip her arse harder which allows me to go that little bit deeper. Our moans are drowned out by the water hitting the tiles. I let her down slowly, realising I may have just fucked up massively. I took complete control. I search her face for any sign she’s upset. I can’t see any. ‘You okay?’ I ask her tentatively. Her smile answers my question, and I’m fucking elated—another small step, but it feels fucking huge.
‘That was…nice,’ she says, getting embarrassed again.
‘Nice? It was nice? Babe, I’m wounded. What about fucking amazing? Life changing? Fuck, anything but nice!’ I tell her, messing around. She laughs, and it’s such a genuine happy sound I almost stop what I’m doing to just look at her face.
‘What?’ she asks, suddenly self-conscious. So, I guess she caught my hesitation after all.
‘Hey, don’t do that. Don’t doubt yourself, okay? I was looking at you because I just watched the rest of my life flash before my eyes when you laughed like that. I wanna listen to that everyday—from now until I die. That’s the sound that’ll fill our home, our bedroom and more importantly our whole lives.’
Her eyes swim with unshed tears but she’s smiling, so I’m hoping they are happy tears. Then she flings her arms around my neck and giggles again in my ear. I actually feel my heart ache in my chest at the sound. I love it. I need to hear that sound every fucking day if it kills me.
‘It’s my life’s mission to keep that smile on your lips and that sound in my ears. I fucking love you, Maiya. Don’t ever forget it.’
She gasps at my words, and I think I’ve pushed her over the edge now because her tears stream down her face like a waterfall. I feel a lump in my throat too. Fuck me, I’m not going to cry. I don’t do that shit. I swallow hard, and again until that lump is pushed down tight.
‘I love you too, Brad, so much,’ she whispers. And shit, there it is again, strangling me to let it up and out. Nope. I swallow it down, and I can’t speak for a minute. But I wipe away her tears and keep eye contact. I kiss at her lips, and she opens for me. And in no time I’m hard again.
***
Christmas Eve and we’re travelling back to my parents. They have a huge house on the land the pack shares. I look over to Maiya who’s sitting shotgun next to me.
‘You okay?’ I ask because she’s chewing on her bottom lip.
‘Nervous,’ she says and goes right back to chewing on her lip.
‘You keep doing that I’m gonna have to pull the car over,’ I tell her smiling,
‘Doing what?’
‘Biting on your damn lip. Turning me on so…’ I shrug. ‘We can pull over, and we can get rid of this raging hard on, or you can stop biting that lip, and we’ll arrive on time. I’ll have blue balls, but we won’t be late.’ I chuckle at the look on her face.
‘I didn’t even realise I was doing it.’ She smiles shyly.
‘Fuck, Maiya. I’m gonna have to pull over anyway.’ I can’t take it when she looks at me like that. I need to touch her. I pull over at the side of the road and unclip my seatbelt, adjusting the seat so it goes all the way back. All the while, Maiya is looking at me wide-eyed like I just juggled my cock and balls in public. I laugh at her and motion for her to get her arse over here on my lap.
‘Come on over here. We’ll only be a little bit late, I promise,’ I tell her, grinning at her astounded look. She does as I ask though, and scoots over. She has jeans on, so there is no chance of anything in that department unless she gets naked, and it’s daylight so I’m not going to let that happen—someone might see her, and then I’ll have to poke their fucking eyes out.
‘Isn’t this illegal?’
‘What, Maiya? What are we doing?’ I ask, daring her to say it.
‘Well, I don’t know, what are we doing?’ she asks with a smile on her face.
‘What would you like to do, Maiya?’ I ask, kissing at her lips and squeezing her ass. Making her gasp a little. ‘So what would you like to do?’ I tease again, pushing my dick up against her pussy through our jeans. She groans and her lips find mine again. This is all I want, to feel her in my arms. I wasn’t planning to fuck her in the car, but she starts grinding herself up and down my dick, giving herself pressure right where she needs it. Before I know it, I have my hands up her top, and her bra pushed up out of the way. Fuck me, I need in. I twist her nipple between my fingers and feel her clench her legs against mine as she exhales like a porn star in my ear. Jesus fucking Christ.
‘Fuck, Maiya. You’re gonna make me come in my pants like a fucking teenager.’
She giggles while nibbling at my neck.
‘Jesus, Maiya.’
She’s grinding and moaning. No one has ever made me feel like she does. Countless woman have sat on my knee and not a fucking one has ever made me want to come through just that alone. Maiya’s in a league all of her own though, and she’s got whatever it takes for my cock to do whatever the fuck he likes. No control from me. I’m a goner.
My eyes are closed against the fucking ecstasy of what she’s making me feel when I hear a rapping on the window. I open my eyes and see the Brody standing at the window with his back to us. FUCK.
‘Shit!’ Maiya says, scrambling off my knee and back to her seat.
‘WHAT?’ I shout as I press the button for the window.
‘Just wondered if you’d forgotten you have a host of vehicles parked up behind you?’ I turn my head to check, and yeah, the fucker is right.
‘And?’
He smiles and shakes his head.
‘Just didn’t think you’d appreciate everyone watching the show.’ He cocks his head, all cocky, grinning.
‘No, I fucking wouldn’t. Don’t grin at me like that, dickhead. Get back to your ‘vehicle,’’ I tell him, taking the piss out of his American accent. I pull my seat back and start the car, looking over at Maiya who’s currently sniggering into her hand.
‘Minute were alone, we’re finishing this, okay?’ I tell her motioning between us. She grins widely, and I can’t help but grin back. Laughing at what almost just happened at the side of a country road with half the fucking pack watching. Jesus, this woman has me by the balls. We’re still laughing, ten minutes later, when I pull us into a service station.
We all pull in and park far enough away that we can all park up together without a problem. Every man and his fucking dog are travelling today apparently, and the slip road onto the motorway is backed up so I think we may as well stop and eat than sit in that. I walk Maiya in, by the hand, ahead of everyone else. We stand in line to get food, and as everyone else catches up, they start whistling and jeering at us like we were their private sex show. Everyone comes in, crowding us, wolf-whistling and clapping me on the back like a bunch of fucking kids.
I zone them all out though when I feel Maiya collapse at my feet, shaking. I have tunnel vision, and all I see is her. She’s curled up in a ball, protecting her head. FUCK.
‘BACK THE FUCK OFF, NOW!’I shout. I get down on one knee and gather her into my arms. She’s crying and shaking so fucking badly. I find my way through the now quiet crowd and walk through hordes of other people—all fucking staring.
I hear Brody behind me shouting, ‘You want a fucking picture? Move along, cunt.’ I get out of the services, through a double glass door, and head to a grass verge. Now it’s fucking freezing but there is no one else out, so I figure this is our best bet. Maiya is still trembling badly. I sit on the verge and hold her close.
‘Sweetheart, you’re okay, I’m here, Maiya, speak to me, babe.’ I rock her gently in my arms while I stroke her hair. It feels like a fucking eternity before she finally speaks.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers.
Fucking hell. ‘You’ve got nothing to apologise for,’ I tell her, meaning every fucking word.
‘I embarrassed you,’ she whispers again, and her voice is sad and broken. I fucking hate that she’s reverted to this.
‘Hey, don’t ever think that, okay? You could never fucking embarrass me.’ I lift her chin so I’m looking in her eyes. ‘You’ve come so fucking far. This is just another fucking hurdle in the road, but fuck if we won’t smash through them all together—always together.’ She strokes my face with a trembling hand.
‘I just got so scared, Brad. I know I’m safe with you, but it was just too much. It brought back… I felt like I was there again.’ I feel sick at the thought of what they did. A sudden surge of anger rises within me. I start to shake, and my heart beats like it’s going to leap out of my chest. I have to contain it though because she’s looking up at me with tears still streaming down her face. I need to make this shit better. I sit her up and hug the shit out of her.
‘You okay?’ she asks.
I grind my teeth against what I want to say and nod my head. ‘More importantly, are you okay, sweetheart?’
‘I am. I’m good now. I just… I don’t know what happened. I just freaked.’
‘You’re allowed. They shouldn’t have been acting like a bunch of fucking morons.’
‘Don’t be mad at them, Brad. They’re just being normal. They don’t know that I’m not.’
‘Not what?’ I grumble.
‘Normal.’
‘You are fucking normal—don’t say that. You’ve been through shit that most people wouldn’t have come back from, let alone shack up with a pack wolf and have to put up with the shit I bring to the relationship.’ She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
‘You bring all the best parts.’
I’m stumped for a minute and sit, just staring. ‘Well, now I think about it, I am as sexy as fuck: witty, cute, and smart!’
That gets her laughing. ‘You really are the whole package,’ she says rolling her eyes.
‘Hey, less of the sarcasm.’ I nudge her shoulder and pretend to be shocked. I risk a small kiss, and she lets me—thank fuck.
‘Shall we go in? Or you wanna go back to the car? ‘Cause not gonna lie, my balls could well be frozen to my arse right now.’
She punches my arm. ‘Stop being a dick.’ She laughs.
‘If my dick has any chance we really do need to get up off this grass,’ I smart back.
‘Oh my god, Brad, that was lame,’ she giggles
‘Says the girl laughing her arse off.’ I quirk my brow, making her smile as we stand. ‘Yeah, winning,’ I say swatting her ass. She squeaks a little and then grabs my arm and links hers through. We sit in the back corner and eat. I say it’s to give her a little space, but it’s also so I’m not tempted to punch one of the guys in the face. Once back in the car, she’s quiet but watches the scenery whizzing past.